Seventeen

[Small warning here]

There are brief mentions of what could be a triggering topic such as physical and sexual abuse. (I know you're panicking but it's not as bad as it sounds, both our boys are perfectly fine.) I do not go into detail at all and the topics are only briefly mentioned but if you are sensitive to these topics please tread carefully here.

Zack was sitting on the bench trying to tie his shoes as quickly as possible. The bell was ringing in a minute and he wanted to be at his car when Jess got there.

"Hey, Zack, why are you in a such a hurry?" Jace looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"I got plans." Isaac gave him a little smile.

"Oooh, is our boy going on a date?" Ki came over with a smile. "Who's the lucky girl?"

"It's not" a girl. "a date."

"Sure~" Jace wiggled his eyebrows. "Have fun."

"But not too much fun." Ki winked.

Zack rolled his eyes and swung his bag over his shoulder. He stood up and walked past his cooing friends, going straight for the door. He had to walk through the school and leave by the back entrance before walking down to the student parking lot.

When he made it there Jess was leaning against his car. The black haired boy smiled a little as he approached. "Hey."

"Hey. Sorry, have you been waiting long?"

"Nah." Jess shook his head. Isaac unlocked the car and they both got in.

As Zack started driving off Jess messed with the radio. He seemed to find a song he liked because he stopped messing with it soon after. Zack smiled to himself when he heard Jess start quietly singing along.

They eventually made it down to main street where a local ice cream shop was. Jess looked over with a quirked brow so Zack explained, "I thought we might want an ice cream or something."

"I wish you would've told me, I could've brought some money." Zack could tell by the look on his face he felt guilty.

"Don't worry about it, I'll pay."

"You bought me dinner that one time." Jess said, shaking his head.

"That was my choice." Isaac said with a little smile. "Don't feel bad, if I didn't want to spend any money on you I wouldn't have taken you here."

Jess let out a sigh and shook his head. "Fine. I'll pay you back."

"Nah, I'm not worried about it." Zack said and Jess ignored him.

They went through the drive through and got a vanilla frozen yogurt cone for Jess and a chocolate shake for Zack. They went back onto the road and started driving again.

Eventually they wound up at the park again and Zack threw it in park. He took a drink out of his shake and turned to look at Jess. The boy was still eating his ice cream cone. When he felt the eyes on him he looked up and gave Isaac a small smile.

"Thanks, this is good."

"Yeah, no problem." Zack smiled back and they sat without saying anything else. The radio was still playing on Jess's station and he was finishing his ice cream cone.

"So, why exactly did you want to come here?" Jess looked over, wiping his lips with a tissue to make sure he didn't have any ice cream on his face.

Zack shrugged. "I thought it might be fun. We can go walking through the woods, maybe climb a few trees?"

"You want to climb trees?" Jess arched his eyebrows with an easy smile.

"I mean why not?"

Jess chuckled. "Okay. Sure. Let's go find a tree to climb, you dork."

Despite the insult Isaac smiled wide. The two got out of the car and Jess spun around to walk backwards so he could face Zack. Zack was smiling at the boy.

"Do you come here to climb trees often?"

Zack chuckled. Okay, he got it now. That did sound dorky. He shook his head. "Not since I was twelve. I just thought it might be fun since you seem to like reliving childhood experiences."

Jess spun back around so he was facing forward again when Zack stepped into stride with him rather than walking behind. "Believe it or not but climbing trees here wasn't part of my childhood."

Zack looked at him with disbelief for a moment. Then when he realized Jess wasn't joking he shook his head with mock disappointment.

"You truly missed out then."

"Oh did I?" Jess looked over with a teasing smile. Zack gave him a goofy grin back.

"You did. I used to climb to the top of the trees out here frequently. It was the best thing as a kid." Zack looked happy as he reminisced. "I thought I was Spiderman."

Jess erupted in a laugh. "Of course you did."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Zack nudged his shoulder as they neared the trail that lead through the woods.

Jess shrugged, "Just that that is very in-character."

Isaac rolled his eyes but didn't say anything else. He didn't have to because the two could walk in silence through the trees without any awkwardness. Just being in the other's presence was enough.

"You wanna show me your expert climbing skills any time soon?" Jess said playfully, bumping his shoulder against Zack's.

Zack smiled at the teasing and looked for a tree to climb. He located one of the easier ones he used to scramble up as a lengthy preteen and grabbed Jess's wrist to lead him over. Jess followed behind as he got tugged closer to the tree.

Isaac dropped his wrist and looked up at the tree. Before he did anything he looked at Jess. "Okay, now I haven't done this in a long time so no laughing at me if I fall on my ass."

Jess looked at him with a small smile. "Oh, I'm gonna laugh. I'm actually hoping you'll fall on your ass so I can get a giggle out of it."

Zack feigned being offended but couldn't stop his smile. Nothing could stop his smile when he was with Jess.

Without any other words Isaac jumped up and grasped one of the lower branches. He pulled himself up and crawled onto a higher one before sitting down. He grabbed onto the branch with his hands on either side of himself before kicked his legs back and forth. Having made it up successfully, he smiled down at Jess and the other boy was smiling up at him.

"That's not the top!"

Zack rolled his eyes. "I never promised the top. Now c'mon, get up here with me."

Jess's eyes widened. "No! I'll fall."

"No you won't, come on."

"Yes, I will so no, I'm not going up there."

Zack sighed and pushed his weight off the branch. Jess gasped as his hands caught him before he could fall. Using his grip on the branch he swung himself so he could jump to the ground.

"It's no fun if you don't come up and sit with me."

"I beg to differ. It's much more fun on the ground." Jess said and crossed his arms.

Zack smiled despite the fact they were currently arguing. He couldn't help it. Jess was just so attractive and the way he folded his arms was adorable.

"I'll help lift you up to the first branch and we can just sit there." Zack offered.

"Why do you want to sit in a tree with me so damn bad?" Jess asked with a chuckle.

Isaac couldn't answer that so he shrugged. Jess was still waiting for an answer though so he dug down and found one. "I want to do something I haven't done with anyone else before."

The smile that came over Jess's face was amazing in every way and had Isaac just staring at the boy's face for a moment. His daze only lasted a second though because Jess spoke and that broke the spell. "Fine."

"Yes!" He grinned and pumped his fist in the air. Jess rolled his eyes but his face held gentle smile. "Up you go!"

Isaac had to help lift Jess onto the first branch and then crawled up after him. Once up there Jess ended up climbing up three more branches and Isaac found himself following. They reached a pretty good height and Jess stopped. He gripped onto the branch after scooting over some so Zack could sit next to him.

"You climb pretty good for someone that apparently didn't as a child." Isaac said to him with a pleased smile.

Jess chuckled. "I climbed trees, just not these ones. I didn't come down in these woods when I was a kid but I climbed the tree in my neighbor's backyard all the time."

Isaac laughed this time. "That makes so much more sense."

Jess looked down as Zack started kicking his legs. At seeing the distance Zack expected his face to fuel with fear, it didn't though. Instead, he looked back up and leaned his head back. What surprised Isaac was how he closed his eyes and smiled wide.

Isaac smiled at his expression. He looked free.

"I've never been this high over the ground before." Jess said.

"Yeah?" Isaac looked over with interest.

Jess hummed. "Feels like I'm floating over all my problems."

Zack made a noise of agreement. "It's nice, right?"

"Yeah, but kind of a hassle to get all the way up here. I'd never do this without having been convinced by someone else."

"I'll consider myself lucky that I get to be that someone." Zack said with a smile.

They were quiet for a few more minutes. The wind was gently flowing around them and the whole atmosphere felt quiet. It felt like they were the only two in the world right now.

"What problems do you feel like you need to float over?" Zack didn't let himself over think the question. He was too curious not to ask.

Jess sighed, looking conflicted all the sudden. "Lots of things."

"Like what?" At seeing Jess's hesitation he kept talking. "You don't have to tell me but you can. If you want. I'm always here, you can tell me whatever you want."

Jess sat in quiet for a few more seconds before sucking in a deep breath and speaking. "My mom's over emotional and easily triggered. Everything either makes her so extremely happy that it's overwhelming or so extremely sad that she'll cry for hours. I've had a million men in my house as step dads or mom's boyfriends or even just some casual hookups and about 86% were- are assholes. I have four siblings but only get to see one consistently and that will certainly change in the future with how my mom is. I've only got one friend that I feel like actually knows me. I'm gay. That's a big ass problem alone because it means getting a shit ton of judgement when you go to the school we do. Everyone has problems, I know that, but I wish mine would leave me alone for a little bit. Sometimes I just want peace. I just want moments where I don't have to worry about things."

Zack frowned. He opened his mouth to apologize to Jess and attempt to comfort him but it snapped shut again when the other boy rolled his head back to laugh. His laughter was being carried away by the wind and Isaac was frozen in place.

Jess had just poured out things that had been weighing on him. He had just spilled a bunch of his sadness out into the world and now he was laughing. He was laughing and looked beautiful.

"Sorry." He began to speak through little laughs, slowly stopping. "I've never told anyone all of that. I thought I'd be more sad but for some reason the only time I get those moments of peace where I don't worry is with you, Zack. I mean hell, I just told you some of the shit that makes me feel like shit half the time and I don't even feel bad. I feel light."

"Well, some people way talking about it does that." Isaac said, not sure what else could be the cause.

Jess laughed a little again and looked over at him. He felt his breath pause in his lungs for a moment. Jess was smiling at him with bright brown eyes. He slowly shook his head. "No, Isaac, it isn't because I just got it off my chest. It's because it's you. You always make me feel light. It's nice."

Here they were. Sitting in a tree, high off the ground, and Zack felt like time stopped. He felt a smile pull on his face and he was sure that his expression now matched Jess's. The two sat on that branch and smiled at each other like idiots.

"You got any problems you're floating away from?" Jess asked, still having that pretty smile on his face.

Zack looked in front of him, through the branches and at the other trees next to the sky. He kept a small smile on his face as he talked. He wasn't sure if it was how high they were or Jess but either way he felt happy. Even as they plunged into darker topics, he felt happy.

"I don't know. I guess." He was quick to shake his head, his smile suddenly fading. "None like yours though."

"Hey," Jess bumped his hand against Isaac. He tried not to think about the contact and instead focus on what the other was saying. "Don't do that. Don't discredit your own problems."

"But-"

"Problems are problems, yours are the same as mine even if they're different. They weigh on us the same."

Isaac tilted his head to the side at the boy in front of him. How could he think like that? He sighed and turned back to ahead of him.

"I miss my mom. She's missing out on so much of my life. Dad isn't around as much as I wish he was. I hate the way the house gets silent. The noise of a family should fill it up but everyday I get home and the whole place feels abandoned. My friends are cool, don't let what I'm about to say change that, but I feel like they don't unserstand. Jace and Ki's folks are still together and Andrew's parents co-parent really well so they're both still around for him. They try to understand but it's just impossible for them to actually grasp the concept of a parent missing from your life. They're all also kinda dumb and that gets on my nerves sometimes. They're like family to me but sometimes I wonder if I really know them because sometimes I worry they're assholes that are just as bad as some of the other guys on the team." Isaac sighed. He briefly considered mentioning that they also made homophobic jokes that bothered him but he wouldn't have been able to answer any questions as to why they bothered him so he didn't. He wasn't quite ready to tell anyone he's been questioning his sexuality. "I told you they were minor in comparison to yours."

When he met eyes with Jess the boy was looking at him with empathy in his eyes and a frown on his face.

"Stop saying your shit is any less than mine." Jess shook his head. "Do you feel like shit sometimes because of these things?" Slowly, Zack nodded a little. "Then there. It's the same. We both are getting dragged down by something. Our situations are different but we both have problems. You can't compare them because the settings are different."

Isaac nodded slowly but he still didn't totally buy it. In his eyes Jess had it worse. The dark haired boy must've seen that because he sighed.

"If a kid was getting beat by their dad at home and another kid was getting sexually abused by their- fuck I don't know- brother would you say one had it worse than the other?" Isaac's eyes widened and Jess kept talking. "No, because they're both extremely shitty things to happen to someone. Maybe that's a bit more serious than what we're discussing but it works as an example."

"I don't think that's really the same thing."

"If a kid was getting slapped whenever they did something wrong and another kid had to watch their mother get beat everyday would you compare the two?"

"No."

"But one's worse right? One's happening directly to the kid while the other kid is just a witness. Would you not compare them?" Something about the way Jess was talking told Zack he was trying to prove his point.

"It's traumatizing no matter what. I don't think it's fair to judge one as better or worse."

"Exactly." Jess said. "Trauma is trauma, doesn't matter the type or how it's conflicted. Problems are problems, no matter what. You can't compare them."

Zack sighed. "Fine."

Jess took in a breath of fresh air. "Sorry to bring up triggering topics like that. I didn't really know how else to get it through your head."

"I understand." Isaac shrugged. "It's not a topic that is fun but I'm not triggered by it or anything so it's okay."

Jess sighed. "That's good. I'd feel really guilty if I triggered you by saying some stupid rant. It'd be even worse considering how far up we are. If you had a panic attack and fell I'd have to take you to the hospital or call an ambulance."

Isaac chuckled lightly. "After making the trip safely down yourself."

"Right. I'd honestly probably slip and fall because of stressing out and then we'd both be in need of medical attention." Jess said, his voice going back to sounding a little happier.

"Still feel light?" Zack wasn't even sure what that meant but somehow it made perfect sense.

"Are you still sitting next to me?"

"Yes..?"

"Then there's your answer." Jess smiled over at him and Zack smiled back.

"You can't really feel light around me all the time."

"I do, as long as I'm talking to you I feel great."

"Lies. You didn't seem like you felt very light when you came out to me." Zack suddenly brought up the memory. Jess wasn't very light at all at that time. He was actually probably having a mini anxiety attack.

Jess's smile fell and Isaac regretted bringing it up. "That was different. I was scared you were gonna kick me out. Or beat the shit out of me."

Now it was Zack's turn to frown. He looked at Jess with a hint of betrayel behind his eyes. "You thought I might beat the shit out of you? For being gay?"

Jess shrugged. "I didn't know how you felt about things like that at the time. Not like it hasn't happened before."

"What?" Isaac's eyes widened and once he realized what he had said, Jess's did too.

"Fuck."

"Someone's beat the shit out of you for being gay before?"

Jess looked over at him with a nervous look. "It was a couple years ago. Nothing like that happens anymore."

That didn't stop the pit in his stomach from forming. Zack looked at Jess with concern knotting up his throat. "Who?"

Jess looked away. He looked down at the ground now. Isaac left his gaze on him.

"It was one of my mom's past boyfriends. We were talking at the dinner table and my mom said something about me getting a boyfriend, he looked all confused so she told him I was gay since he apparently didn't know. He didn't like that and started yelling. He was saying things about it being disgusting and an abomination. Told me I was going to burn in hell where Satan would fuck me in the ass all I desired. I started yelling back to defend myself and he hit me. Knocked me in the jaw. After that he just kinda... kept hitting me. Didn't stop, no matter how much my mom screamed and tried to pull him away he just kept hitting me. Finally she grabbed a metal pot and hit him over the head with it. She kicked him out and told him to never contact her again and then took me to the hospital. I haven't seen him since."

Zack's heart ached for the boy. He had gone through that? He hated the look on his face, the far away haze his eyes had. He didn't like it when Jess looked sad.

"I'm sorry." Zack looked away. "I should've dropped it." Jess looked over at him now.

"No. I'm glad you brought it up." Zack lifted his head to meet his eyes. He suddenly didn't look so sad anymore. "We're talking about the problems we're floating over right now aren't we? Well, that's one of them. I get anxious as fuck coming out to some people because of that guy. Now you know."

Jess smiled a little. It didn't fit the moment or what they were talking about but it fit him. His smiles always fit him. The way his face seemed brighter when he smiled because he only ever smiles when he's genuinely happy fit him perfectly. A pretty boy with a pretty smile.

"See?" Jess suddenly said out of nowhere. "We just talked about my trauma and I'm still smiling because it's you. You make me feel light, Isaac."

His chest soared. It was impossible for it not to. They stayed up in that tree for another hour, just talking about trivial things. Although, that paused when Jess moved his hips awkwardly. "My ass is starting to hurt because of this branch."

Zack smiled cheekily. "Well we wouldn't want to put that ass through too much, would we? C'mon let's get down."

They both ignored Jess's slightly pink face and made their way down the tree. Isaac reached the ground first and Jess hopped down not long after him.

"Wanna just walk around for a bit?" Isaac looked at Jess with a smile.

"Sure."

So they did. They walked around the wooded area for awhile, just exploring. Jess made a point to step on any and all big rocks he could see as though they were a path for him.

They went over by the lake at one point and skipped some rocks. They only left because Jess was bragging about doing it better and Isaac threatened to throw him in, joking of course. However Jess took a precaution of taking several steps back so they just continued on their walk.

At some point the light started fading so they began the journey back to the open space of the park. When they reached it, Jess followed Isaac over to his car.

"Wanna watch the sunset?" Zack looked over his shoulder with a smile. Jess nodded and his smile brightened which made Jess's as well.

Zack walked over and hopped on the hood of his car. He leaned back into a laying positing and patted the spot next to him. Jess chuckles but crawled up there to lay beside him.

They were both quiet as they watched the sun go down and the pretty colors run through the sky.

•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•

I honestly thought this chapter was going to be shorter than intended when I was about ¾ of the way done with it. I was so wrong lol, it's actually right where I want it at around 3,700 words.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed!

Love you ♡

- Z