Chapter Twenty Three

Sorry I'm very far behind on updates with this story on here but there's a lot more published on AO3 than there is here so I'll steadily be updating this one over the next few days !! Make sure to go through and read each last chapter rather than the latest one posted so you don't miss out on parts of the story !!

Enjoy x

March 2014

All he wanted right now was to be able to curl up in his bed and sleep. Preferably with Louis wrapped around him. Instead, he sat with a mildly interested expression on his face as the interviewer positively grinned at him, Zayn and Liam as they sat together on a low sofa, camera's angled towards them.

They were somewhere along the Thames, the river spreading out behind them through the glass windows. It was a bright day, especially for London and he longed to simply walk out in the streets like anyone else. But there was at least a hundred fans lined up downstairs, despite this interview not being a live event and their team trying their best to keep their location under the radar. The fans always found out a way to find out their location however. It wasn't as though he minded, he truly loved the overwhelming support they received from their fans but sometimes he really just wanted to be able to go grocery shopping without getting mobbed.

He could sense the agitation from Liam and Zayn also. They'd been doing promo for a solid two months now and with tour rehearsal schedules all mixed together life was hectic at the moment. They'd hardly had a chance to breathe since the start of the year and he knew that all five of them were just longing for the three days off they were having the moment this interview was over with.

He was leaving London early tomorrow morning, had planned this trip weeks in advance actually and now that it was so close he could hardly wait for this interview to be over with. He would hang around for a while downstairs with the fans whilst they got ready to leave, that part at least wouldn't feel like a chore but he was counting down the minutes till he would arrive back at his and Louis' private home.

He didn't actually know where Louis was, hadn't seen him in three days since he and Niall had been delayed in flying back from LA. He knew he was scheduled to fly back into London sometime today but it was too much of a distracting thought for him to be thinking about whilst in the midst of being asked about which venue he was most looking forward to playing on their upcoming tour.

It had initially been Louis' idea to get out of London for the three days. He'd first suggested they simply go to one of their family homes up north but they'd only just seen both families recently and they would be coming down to London soon enough anyway. Instead, the both of them had spent hours pouring over travel destinations, preferably ones they hadn't managed to go to yet before finally settling for heading to the Cotswold's. Neither of them had been but it was one of his mum's favourite places she'd gone with her own parents when she was younger and they'd both taken one look at a rental house on the outskirts of town and known it was the perfect place to get away.

It had been so long since they'd been able to get away just the two of them. Management had sat them both down when they'd ultimately had to let them know where they were heading to over the short break for safety reasons. He still hadn't forgotten the stern looks on the faces of the three adults before him as they'd strictly told him not to appear anywhere in public with Louis. It still hurt after four years the divide that they were trying to paint between them when all he wanted was to claim Louis as his in front of the entire world. Neither of them had spoken much the evening of that interview, instead they'd curled up in bed, wrapped in each other. As if in their silence they were both trying to hold together each other's pain at the situation they'd been so unwillingly faced in.

He wouldn't revoke his love for Louis for the world. He was so enthralled by the blue eyed Doncaster boy from day one, let alone three and a half years into a relationship which meant everything to Harry. They'd talked about it a few times now what they'd be willing to sacrifice to properly be able to be together. He would give up the band in a heartbeat for Louis if it ever got to that point, would do practically everything. He loved the stage, lived for the sensation of having thousands of people scream back their lyrics to them and the feeling he experienced when he sang to them all, but he Louis was personally. A part of him that was so engrained in who he'd become that he didn't know how he could ever live without him.

He'd spent many nights with tears streaming down his face when their situation had become to much, when he knew just how much he loved Louis and yet was told by everyone above them to suppress it, not to let it show. It hurt Louis immeasurably too, he'd never decided whether it hurt more his own stunts with numerous woman or being labelled as a selfish, heartless womanizer, or seeing the pain Louis went through with each outing he'd been forced to go on with Eleanor.

Eleanor was someone who plagued Harry's thoughts more often that he'd ever willingly admit. She was a lovely girl, she truly was. She was always polite, if not a bit shy, around him and the lads but went about things just the same. It was exactly that passiveness she displayed towards the circumstance between her and Louis which made Harry unable to stand her. With every time she walked out the door, Louis by her side as they plastered on their fake relationship to the world that he felt the churning in his gut as he had to witness it all.

The interviewer finally seemed satisfied with his questions and Harry stood the moment it sounded like he was drawing things too a close. Zayn glanced up to him briefly before he got the meaning too and quickly did the same, holding out his hand to accept it when the interviewer offered and the three of them practically ran for the doors.

Niall was heading straight back to Ireland to his family after landing from LA so Harry knew he wouldn't see him. Zayn and Liam would be hanging around in London at their own homes here they'd told him a few days ago. The three of them pulling each other into an embrace before they stepped into the elevator with their security, knowing they wouldn't be able to share a proper goodbye downstairs before the three of them would be ushered into separate cars.

"Don't get to carried away whilst you're gone, we've got a tour starting next month you know?" Liam said with his arms wrapped around his shoulders.

"We'll return in one piece, promise." He said with a grin as he pulled back and went to pull Zayn in.

"Enjoy it H, say hi to Louis from us."

"Have a good few days lads." He said as they bundled into the elevator with four other security personal he wasn't familiar with.

It always took longer than he gave time for to get through the fans, he was the last of the three of them to bundle himself into the back of the vehicle. Having spent a solid fifteen minutes moving through the line of mostly girls who'd shifted between screams, to crying and smiling so brightly at him.

He couldn't help the sigh from escaping him however when the car finally pulled away and in silence began making its way towards their London home. He was exhausted after the past couple weeks in particular, and without Louis by his side these past few nights he'd slept like shit. The other boys teased he and Louis relentlessly that they didn't sleep well when they weren't together, and maybe it was cheesy but it didn't mean that he and Louis ever didn't sleep tangled up in each other as often as they could. Cheesy be damned, he always wanted Louis with him.

It took over thirty minutes to crawl through the London traffic till the car finally stopped outside his home. He thanked the driver as he stepped out from the car and went about disarming the alarms set around the property. He'd always loved this place, he'd spent weeks pouring over real estate magazines and websites just over a year ago when he and Louis had had enough of sneaking over to each others homes in the middle of the night when they had been forced to go to their separate houses for appearances sake only to lie awake restless. There'd been plenty of circumstances when they could just go straight to one particular house, but in those instances where they couldn't had become to annoying and frustrating to deal with they'd decided to buy a whole new property, completely to the unawareness of any press or fans.

Louis had been the one to find this place. Harry could clearly picture the morning he'd come bounding down the stairs at his own place and thrusted the phone in Harry's face. Practically shouting out the details of the property and Harry had only laughed before he'd pulled Louis into his lap, kissed his hair and scrolled through the details of the property. They'd both gone to view the house later that afternoon and a week later had bought entirely new furniture for it and moved in just three days later.

The house was dark but still faintly warm from the under floor heating which had been on over the previous night. He flicked on the lights in the living room and kitchen, making his way towards the fridge and pulling out several random ingredients to throw together a meal for him. Without knowing when Louis would be home, and seeing as it was only just passed mid day he blindly went about making himself a vegetable quiche, connecting to the Bluetooth sound system which spread throughout the house and humming beneath his breathe.

He was clearing away his dishes when he heard the beeper sound for movement in the driveway. The faint sound of a car pulling away down on the street cold be heard over the music which played quietly in the background still.

He was already at the door before Louis reached the small porch. Harry grabbed for the door, swinging it open on silent hinges as Louis paused in surprise before him. He took one look a the tiredness lined in Louis' eyes, the bags under his eyes and the way his shoulders slumped forward and didn't hesitate for a moment when he rushed out of the house and pulled Louis firmly into him.

"Love." He whispered into Louis hair and felt his arms come to wrap themselves tightly around Harry's waist. They stayed like that for a long moment, reveling at the sensation that Louis was finally back in his arms but that one brief look at the man he held so tightly in his arms, he knew this evening wasn't going to go as he'd planned.

He loved Louis. Loved every part of him, from his overly loud, expressive traits right down to his fury and anger when he was upset. But in the few times he ever let himself become too caught in his own emotions was the times Harry loved him the most.

He silently maneuvered them into the house, locking the front door behind him without letting go over Louis. It was a conscious effort not to trip over his own feet, let alone Louis' before he finally tugged Louis down into him on one of the living room sofas. Louis didn't say a word, his breathing was short and sharp as he clung to Harry's shirt, fisted in his hands, head turned into his shoulder. He waited for Louis to speak, running his fingers absentmindedly through Louis' hair instead.

"I'm so fuckin' tired of this." Louis murmured so quietly he had to strain in order to hear the words at all. He didn't say anything, waited for Louis to continue. "It was fuckin' nothin', just a single off hand comment but they caught it anyway and made me go out and I just..." His voice shook towards the end, trailing off and he pulled Louis further into him. "I don't know what they expect of us anymore."

"What happened love?" He whispered slowly into Louis' hair.

"There was a girl outside one of the interviews, Niall and I walked out and went around like always but this one girl was wearing a shirt, a rainbow pride one." Harry's heart tightened in his chest, he could almost tell where this story was heading without needing to hear the rest. "I got to her along the line, talked with her for a bit and she was just standing there smiling at me, talking like a normal person when someone behind her shoved her and started ranting on about how she was an abomination and she was unnatural. Security tried to escort the other girl away but this one was so upset, I didn't know what to do so I hugged her and told her to stay strong, that who she was could never mean there was something wrong with her and that love is fucking love. I thought it was over when I finally got to the end of the line and was getting in the car, but a pap just...and I..." Louis said choking on his last few words.

"What did you say?" He could very well imagine the taunts the pap had thrown towards Louis.

"That who people loved wasn't anyone's else's business and to get a fuckin' life." Harry knew those were a dulled version of the words Louis had undoubtedly fired back, but regardless the fact that he'd even been riled into a response surrounding such a topic in their managements eyes meant there would have been consequences. "They were gonna keep me in LA. Fuck they tried too as well, threatened to fly Eleanor out but I said that it was in my contract that I got these days off, could come back to England. Proper told em to fuck off and left."

"Louis..."

"I know, I know it was stupid and reckless but I'm so fuckin' tired of their bullshit. They had no legal power to keep me there and I know they'll make me do something to make up for it when I get back but I had to get away. I needed to be here, with you." Louis said and Harry felt as the fabric covering his shoulder dampened slightly.

"Why didn't you call me?" He only said back softly.

"Because I knew you'd worry, you get those lines between your eyes when you're upset you know, and go all pouty." Louis said and Harry could tell each drop of humour Louis tried to force into those words but he knew Louis far too well now to see through that.

"I worry because I love you and it's part of my job description as the person you love."

"Think I've had enough of job descriptions." Louis muttered tiredly.

"I know you were trying to spare me from worrying, your protectiveness is one of the many reasons I love you as much as I do, but Louis these are the sorts of things you need to tell me about. Yes, I'm going to worry and stress over it because seeing you hurting fucking kills me but if we don't communicate properly, we know that's when things fall to shit. I wish there was more I could do, you know that, know I'd give the world to take away your pain, but until we're free from this we need to be on each other's team."

Louis was silent, hand still fisted into his shirt.

"Doesn't mean I'm not bloody proud of you for speaking back though, you did nothing wrong love. I'm proud of you." He whispers again.

He feels it when Louis lifts his head from his shoulder, his blue eyes, usually shinning with brightness and humour are sullen, tears lined within. He doesn't move as Louis shuffles closer and kisses him softly, his lips tracing over his own and it conveys everything Louis isn't capable of saying in that moment. He shifts his hands into Louis' hair, kissing him back with as much tenderness as he can manage.

"I love you." Louis whispers against his lips and his heart wraps itself around those words as they settle in him.