Chapter Thirty Four

Mid-afternoon on a Friday evening and the five of them are out on Louis' football field behind his house attempting a 'friendly' game of football. Except Niall is determined to prove he's the superior athlete but Louis is practically running him in circles. Unluckily for Harry, Niall is meant to be one his team. Zayn's with them too but football had never been his specialty and he's about as hopeless as he is right now, they're trying at least. He thinks they're down 4-1 at this point and they've only been playing a little over twenty-five minutes. Luckily for every one of them bar Louis, a career in Football had never been on the cards.

Asides from their arse's currently being whooped by Louis and Liam, the other main problem he's currently having is avoiding being too distracted by the sight of Louis, sweaty in shorts and no shirt because of course today the sun has actually come out in London and it's warm enough for this shit. If that wasn't enough to stir Harry to the point of madness, it's the way Louis stops every other minute to rack his hand through his hair which is sending him spiraling. How is he possibly meant to focus on the ball when there's that sight before him. Regardless, he's dam well trying to ignore it.

Clifford and Bruce are lazily sprawled out on the back porch, tired after initially thinking it great fun to chase the five young men and ball around the pitch till they'd eventually grown too tired to continue.

Louis laughs at another of Nialls frantic failed antics to swipe the ball away from him and dribbles the ball down the field towards him and Zayn.

"All yours!" Zayn calls out from the goal but he's already off in Louis' direction.

Louis smirks at him, head still lowered when he sees Harry coming towards him. Louis has always been the best player between them, by a long way, and Harry was currently feeling like the wobbly sixteen-year-old he once had been as he goes to intercept Louis.

Instead of evading him however, when he's nearly upon Harry Louis kicks the ball towards Liam who's somehow appeared across from him. Niall can have fun dealing with that.

He expects for Louis to just go around him and continue with the game and that's why he finds himself caught so off guard when Louis grabs him around the waist instead and swipes his feet out from under him. He wildly grabs for Louis to stabilize himself but he's too off balance and tumbles down to the grass, dragging an unexpecting Louis down with him.

Louis laughs from where he lies on top of him and if he wasn't still slightly winded he might have joined him. Instead he goes to shove Louis playfully off of him in hopes of being about to gasp down more air. Louis' still laughing when he reaches forward, places a kiss against his check, quickly pulling himself up off Harry and offering out his hand with a wide grin as if nothing had happened.

His breath has definitely gone at this point but he manages to grab a hold of Louis' hand and heave himself off the ground.

"Hey! You two quite done yet we've got a game to win!" Niall calls out to them.

"Mate you're now down by four, don't claim a big head now!" Louis yells back and runs after the ball.

Louis and Liam score another two goals before Niall finally concedes and they call it a day. Making their way back into the house, dogs trailing behind them they all head straight for the fridge and gulp down several large glasses of water before anyone speaks.

"I swear if Wills' yells at me one more time to get to the end of the stage at the end of Spaces I'm quitting this band." Zayn mutters as he presses his forehead down onto the cool marble of the table.

"Fuck off, those jokes aren't funny anymore mate." Liam says nudging his shoulder.

"Zayn you threaten to leave us one more time and I'm locking you on the tour bus and never letting you out again." Louis says as he takes the seat beside Harry.

"That's kidnapping and holding someone against their will."

"Don't think I won't carry out that promise."

"Honestly wouldn't put it past you."

"Seriously though," Niall contributes, "This is gonna be fucking sick and I'm actually so glad we're doing this again. Don't want to go and get all sappy like on you lot but I'm really happy we're coming back for this."

"Aww Nialler, gonna bring out the sentiments are we?"

"Shut it Tommo. I mean it, what we're doing is pretty fucking special and I can honestly say there's no others I'd rather do this with than you lot"

"You do realise we're it, there's no one else for you to do this with?" Louis tries once more but Liam leans across and smacks him around the head which promptly shuts him up.

"To chasing teenage memories and going out to have the time of our lives, again!" He offers, raising his glass. The others don't hesitate in raising their glasses and they're silent as they each meet the others gazes and smile as they think over the craziness which has become their lives over the past ten years.

"Let's fucking do this boys."

~~~~

Tour begins on Saturday, it's currently Tuesday, and Harry is wasted. It's Niall's fault really, because when is it ever not. But still his thoughts have well since turned into drunk ramblings, his body carrying him across the room, with the odd stop in the midst of the dance floor in whatever upper market club the five of them have been dragged to for the night. It's the last chance they'll have to do this for a while, final tech and stage rehearsals commence on Thursday and from there it's only two days till they'll walk out together in front of thousands at the O2.

He thinks vaguely that he might be on his sixth, or maybe it's his seventh? Drink of the evening when he finally spots Liam and Niall in one of the booths and angles towards them.

"You alrigh' there mate?" Niall says with a knowing smirk when Harry stumbles over the slight step up to the booth.

"Peachy."

"Good to know you're still shit at holding your liquor."

"Shut up." He mumbles feebly.

Liam and Niall pick up there conversation before Harry had arrived but he's fine with that. He looks out over the dance floor, thinking he's definitely keen to head back out in moment, once he's vision clears slightly.

His attention snags when he sees a familiar sight of chestnut brown hair, styled as it once used to be years ago. Hair that he'd used to run his fingers through repeatedly. He watches Louis as he takes to two people he doesn't know the name of, his relaxed posture as he leans one arm down on the bar and chats excitedly with the two people before him, perhaps a couple with the way the man rests a comforting arm around the woman tucked into his side. He doesn't focus on the couple for long however, not when Louis, his Louis is in his sights.

He wants him desperately, to kiss him as he once had. Undo him in his arms and know every part of him, doubts this unending need has ever faded. Especially not now as Louis stands across the club in those dam jeans which hug him in every possible way and the simple black jacket thrown over his shirt which he longs to tear off of him.

Alcohol. He tries to remind himself, he's not thinking straight. But it's really fucking hard to think straight when Louis is standing in the same room as him, has admitted he's in love with him, and not go over and drag him away from everyone as they'd once use to so frequently do when the need for the other became too much when they were out.

He's about to get up and make his way over to them when another man places his hand on Louis arm, causing Louis to turn and face the man, his face lighting up when he catches sight of the man and Harry's heart burns. Because Louis doesn't look that excited to see other men, not when he's his. But there's Louis nonetheless pulling the man into a familiar embrace. He appears a couple years older than Louis himself and really, when has Louis been into older guys?

Louis attention is now fully focused on the other man, the couple appearing to say their goodbyes to Louis and walk off, Louis barely acknowledges them with more than a nod, his focus to far gone on the man before him.

They still hadn't talked about whatever was going on between them since the week it had been from his mum and Gemma being at dinner. He'd spent most of his days at around Louis regardless, the two of them falling back into a familiar routine of being around one another, reacquainting themselves properly. But that didn't mean Louis could suddenly appear so interested in some other bloke. What on earth was he thinking? Was he trying to lead him on? Do this to spite Harry for not reaching out to him all these years?

He'd not caught onto anything being amiss the times he'd been around Louis recently, if anything he thought they'd been growing all the more close throughout the past week. But with what's-his-face still happily talking with Louis, the two men seeming eerily familiar and comfortable around the other, his dazed thoughts were not processing this clearly. Was Louis not really his? Had he really fallen right back into thinking that just because he was back touring with Louis and talking constantly that they'd automatically get back together. Had he been reading Louis wrong this entire time?

It didn't matter that Louis had said he still loved him, he could have just been getting confused with his past feelings for Harry and not realise that he still cared for him but didn't actually love him.

Fuck he wasn't equipped to deal with this right now.

He hears his name being called vaguely behind him and he turns away from the scene across the room that's making his heart ache and head spin.

"What?"

"Easy there tiger." Niall says with a laugh and the bitterness and Harry's tone which he definitely didn't need to have directed at Niall but he's not exactly thinking straight right now. "We're gonna head home, it's past two, do you want a ride home?"

Home. Right.

"It's fine." He tries, head needing to be clearer for this but he's a little too gone to be thinking logically at the moment. Niall and Liam are both beyond tipsy too so he can hardly rely on them being much help with him trying to sort through his thoughts right now. "I've got a ride."

"Alright, well call us in the morning, let us now you actually make it home alright."

"Yes mum." He says with a giggle because in his current state that's apparently rather amusing.

Niall and Liam leave the booth, sending him fleeting goodbyes before they disappear in the throng of the crowd.

He goes to stand, head spinning violently and he manages to brace a hand on the table before he falls to the floor. If only he could remember which way the darn exit was.

He looks around frantically, trying to remember where they'd walked in at the start of the night but fails miserably. His thoughts are a jumbled mess between tour dates, remembering lyrics and choreo, Louis, whether or not he did text Gemma and Sarah back early, Louis, if he left his favourite sweater in LA of if he did pack it into his suitcase, Louis and shit why can't he focus his thoughts?

Making another attempt to make his way down into the crowd he fumbles yet again over the step, and dam his legs in this instance, when he feels the solid weight of a hand wrapping itself around his arm to steady him. He frantically flings his head around to face a sober looking Louis.

"Steady on love." He narrows his eyes at the endearment, because Louis was just around another man, being cozy around him and now he's being all soft with him now. Honestly when did Louis become bipolar? Or more importantly when did this room start spinning?

"Home, I'm going home." He manages to spit out and he vaguely sees Louis nod and then he's leaning into his side as Louis leads them somewhere. He lets Louis blindly lead him through the club until the sharp bite of the cool night air presses against his skin and he tucks himself further into Louis. There's no blinding lights and he figures Louis must have pulled him out a back entrance to avoid any paps but those thoughts soon dissipate when he realises how good Louis smells. He thinks he must have said that aloud from the slight chuckle Louis responds with then.

He's struggling to keep his eyes open whilst Louis helps clamber into the back seat of a vehicle. They stay silent for the entire journey but he's pressed himself against Louis' side and there's fingers trailing lazily through his hair and it feels like heaven, so he doesn't say a word.

Barely conscious now, he just manages to register that Louis is pulling his house and alarm keys from his pocket and guiding him into Harry's own house. Louis leads him up to the second floor, how Louis knows where his bedroom is, is currently beyond his state of thinking but he leans heavily into Louis' side and goes with him towards his room anyway.

Louis doesn't say a word as he sets him down on top of the dark covers and crouches down beginning to take off his shoes.

"Louis?" He drawls and the other man hums. "Louis?" He says again.

"Yes Haz."

"Did you prefer my prince hair or long hair?" He says with a giggle, grasping for the slightly curly ends of his hair.

"What?" Louis questions.

"My hair!"

"You're drunk Haz."

"No, I'm confused."

"What are you confused about Haz?" Louis indulges him as he pulls off both shoes and stands but doesn't move further away.

He's stood before Harry's legs and he can't help it as he reaches out to place his hands on Louis' waist.

"I thought you loved me?"

"I do love you H." Louis says with a sigh but doesn't move away from his hands.

"But you were with another man tonight, I saw you!"

"You're drunk Haz." Louis repeats. "And this really isn't the time to try talk."

"No, it's just that you love me, and I love you and I'm really confused because I want you but every time I make it obvious that I do, you don't do anything and it's confusing!" He whines but looks up at Louis anyway.

"Harry." Louis says firmly, crouching down slightly so that he's level with Harry and places his hands so heartachingly gentle on either side of his face. "I do love you, and that's never going to change alright? But you're drunk and I can't have this conversation with you when you likely won't even remember it in the morning."

"But..."

"No. You need to go to sleep and we'll talk about this another time but not right now. Not like this." Louis pulls away then, the loss of his touch leaving burning trails down his skin and he pouts when Louis takes several steps towards the door.

"Don't go!"

"I'm not leaving Haz, I'm going to get you some Panadol and water so you're not completely gone when you wake up again." With that Louis walks out of his bedroom door but leaves it open. He's tired, and really fucking confused right now, also slightly endeared and partially, ever so slightly in love with Louis Tomlinson so nothing has really changed. Other than that he's drunk, wants sleep and a warm pair of arms around him.

He's almost asleep when Louis walks back in the room, indeed a glass of water in one hand and two Panadol's in the other. Somehow Louis manages to get them down his throat though he barely registers them, knows he'll likely throw them right back up come morning as well as the alcohol but at least it will quill the headache he'll know doubt have.

"You're amazing." He mumbles and Louis smiles at him with such fondness if he was fully aware of himself he might just melt into the floor.

"And don't you ever forget it."

"Stay. Please."

"And when you wake up in the morning and I'm here then what?"

"Please Lou."

"Fine." Louis says and shrugs his jacket off, throwing over the back of the chair beside his bed. He smiles to himself in his semi unconscious state as Louis pulls back the covers and bundles down in them beside Harry.

"I don't sleep on the left side of the bed anymore." He mumbles but Louis catches the words.

"Good, because I don't sleep on the right."

"I've missed you." He whispers but thinks those are the truest words he's said all night, morning, whatever.

Louis doesn't respond, instead he shuffles over the bed till he can turn and bury his head into Harry's side.

He's drunk and uses that as his excuse for wrapping his arm around him as he settles against him. The familiar weight of having him do so clears his head if only a little so that he registers that this is actually happening, Louis is here with him and for a moment everything seems fine. It's his final thought as he drifts off to sleep.