Chapter Forty Three

Europe's shows pass in a blur of late nights, stage lights, hotel rooms, stolen moments of bliss and a whirlwind of new memories, and before any of them know it they're flying back home to London for a five day break before they fly out for the North American leg.

Zayn fly's ahead to America to be with Gigi and her family for the short time. Niall opting to spend some time with his family in Ireland which leaves just him, Liam and Louis waving goodbye to the two lads at the airport as they're escorted to their gate.

Acting as though Louis is nothing more than his bandmate in public spaces hadn't ever become easier during their first attempt at a relationship and it's not easier this time round. They'd both had too many close calls to count over the past four weeks. At one point Mitch had physically had to place him between them as they'd wandered around the streets of Burn, barely able to hide the way their bodies angled instinctively towards one another eyes alight.

And as they made their way through the airport, Liam strategically slotted between the two of them, he wondered how people hadn't begun seriously picking up on the way the two of them had been acting around one another over the past few months. Let alone all the incriminating evidence over their five years together. They'd run into more that enough fans out on the street, seemingly the frenzy surrounding the band hadn't died down, and there had been very few instances where Louis wasn't somewhere close by.

It wasn't just Louis keeping his mind occupied recently. Talks had begun over the past few days of the plan they each wanted to form for when this tour ended. He had a full solo album released only months ago which he'd yet to decide when he would tour and knew most of the other boys were in a similar situation. It wasn't as though they didn't want to continue, more like they didn't know which path they wanted to explore first. He recalled Louis months ago know saying how he was willing to write new music as a band, and it had certainly crossed his mind a number of times recently. He just wasn't sure if that time was now.

They're led to their seats with little fuss. The three of them so attuned after all these years to airport operations that they hardly require the assistance.

Bluetooth connecting to his headphones, he clicks upon a random playlist of his ad closes his eyes. Determined to spend the however may hours they have now on their flight back to London from Oslo. They're barely ten minutes in the air when he feels a weight worm it's way half on top of him and a head settle upon his chest. He hums contently and wraps his arms around Louis, somehow managing in the process to blindly tuck him half beneath the blanket that's also covering him.

They're shaken awake by Liam as they touch down in London, blinking bleary eyed outside into the dark London night. It's not raining, so he takes that as a bonus at least.

Moving through the airport is slow, though due to the late arrival time there's only a few people who recognize the three of them as they shuffle through the familiar airport. Not being greeted by a wave of fans after a tiring few weeks is something he'll never not take for granted. Sometimes he truly just doesn't have the energy.

There's three sperate vehicles waiting for them outside the terminal building and he pauses as he takes them in, hanging back as the rest of their time load the luggage into the vehicles.

"You al'righ?" Louis mumbles from beside him shocking him out of his stupor.

"Yeah it's just..." He trails off unsure how to continue. They're together now, have spent the past few weeks tangled up in each other every night in hotel rooms across Europe and stumbling their way to hidden rooms backstage but he doesn't want to let those memories fade now as he's faced with the prospect of travelling home alone to his house. Clingy is how he feels as he stands there numbly staring at the vehicles. Unsure because he desperately wants to ask for Louis to come home with him, wrapped up in his arms underneath the covers of his own bed, just like every other night before this but this is new territory for them once more. They've spent weeks together and although Louis has never said he's wanted space they didn't think about this earlier. Not in their excitement to be going home for a few days.

"I'll just be a minute, see you in the car." Louis says before he has a chance to formulate his thoughts and then he's left to watch as Louis walks away from him to his driver.

Silently bemoaning himself for not getting his thoughts together sooner he walks forward to his car and slides inside. Inside of the car is silent but he watches as the tail lights of Liam's vehicle disappear from view as he's driven back to his flat.

There's a full minute he's left inside the vehicle alone before the side door opens once more and Louis clambers in, slotting into the seat beside him flashing him a tired, but sincere smile.

"I thought you were ditching me." He says honestly as he grins back at him.

"Thought we've gone over the fact I'm not leaving you again." Louis responds without a moments hesitation, tucking himself down into Harry's side and resting a hand overtop of his butterfly tattoo. They stay like that in tired since for the forty minutes or so it takes to arrive at his place. He spends it running his hand repeatedly through Louis hair and staring out the window in a daze, remembering nights they'd drunkenly fall together into the backs of vehicles clinging to one another in desperation. Or the nights they more frequently kept apart in the later years, where his composure would fail him as he was left alone in the backseat, longing for Louis to be by his side.

"I thought we'd discussed you not getting to in your head." Louis mumbles to him half asleep on his shoulder as they turn onto the private street his home is situated on.

"You know how I get when I'm tired."

"I do. Which is exactly why I asked Lottie to restock the kitchen for us this morning."

His head turns at that, glancing down to the man still huddled into his side and doesn't fight the warm smile that arises.

"You didn't have to ask her to do that." He says, not needing to know how exactly Lottie got into his house and secondly how he never found out.

"I know, but I did anyway and she didn't mind. She's in London anyway." That he already knew, in fact he'd invited her over tomorrow night so the three of them had some time together before they set off for the next leg of tour.

He takes Louis' hand in his as they clamber out of the vehicle, having stopped in the entrance of his driveway. Both of them thank the driver and tiredly take their suitcases in their spare hands as they make for the entrance.

"So..." Louis starts warily the moment they step through the doors. He sets his suitcase downs inside the main doors and flick on the light, raising a brow in Louis' direction as he waits for him to continue.

"So?"

"You remember a while back when I told you that I could split with Eleanor when my contract with Syco is up?"

"Yes?" He says back as they make their way further into the house.

"Well I didn't want to tell you anything about this before as nothing had been finalized and I didn't want you getting your hopes but... there's been some developments with it all recently."

"Developments how?" He questions whilst filling up the kettle with a fresh pot of water.

"There's an end date." Louis rushes to say and he whirls around to face him.

"What! When?"

"July. July 12th."

He doesn't hesitate before he throws himself around the kitchen isle and into Louis, pulling him into him and burying his head over his shoulder.

"I'm so, so happy for you Lou. You're finally going to be free."

"I've been waiting so much of my life to be able to express myself like this, but now there's an end date it feels like the weight of the world has been set upon me. That I'm gonna need answers to question I'd once so forcibly been diverted away from answering, I feel at a loss as to what to make of it all. I'm longing for the day to arrive but scared nonetheless."

"Hey," He says quietly, placing both of his hands in Louis', "The thing is? You don't always need to have the right answers, it's ok to be scared, to be uncertain. You're doing this for yourself, and I know you're concerned for the people who will suddenly become infatuated with this new piece of you, but never forget that this is your life story, you now get to craft it to your own will, not someone else's. You coming out is extraordinary, I truly can't express to you how proud I am of you Lou, but you do this for you ok?"

"Why do you always know just what to say?" Louis says just as his eyes fully mist over.

"That's a secret I'll never share." Harry answers with a private smile, whilst only causes Louis to roll his eyes in response. "On another note though, I guess I've been thinking about this for a while now, and seeing how it's rather relevant to what you just told me..."

"You're wondering how we're gonna do this? Come out, together." Louis finishes for him, picking up on the nervous stint in his voice.

"I mean there's no rush and I don't..."

"Haz." Louis interrupts him, grabbing for his hand and holding on to it like a lifeline connecting the two of them. "I have no intention of doing any of this without you. We've been in the shadows long enough."

"I don't want you to feel like you have to suddenly make all these changes in your life just to appease me."

"Harry Edward Styles, I've been in love with you since I was eighteen. We've spent years of our life together, despite the past few years, and against all rationality or reason you've let me back into your life after everything I did. No part of me wants to wait any longer. I'm tired, I know you are too, of pretending to be people we're not. No more womanizing image, no more hiding what's between us. We have the eyes of the world upon us but I'm not afraid to step out before it all because I know you're right there with me."

"Who's being sappy now?"

"Shut it Styles." Louis grins back at him. "Besides, I'm actually being rather selfish by doing this."

He laughs, "How exactly is any of this selfish?"

"Cause I get to steal this part of the you away from the world forever." Louis answers him with no hesitation, swaying forward to press his lips softly against the corner of his mouth. It tastes like a promise, feels like closure.

"How?" Harry asks slightly breathless, all the words Louis has just told him finally seeping into him. The reality of what their future holds surprisingly undaunting.

"However we'd like." Louis answers, another chaste kiss pressed along his jaw, his head angling away subconsciously at the action allowing Louis to take whatever. An offering and a final show of acceptance that this is what they're heading into, full force, but far from blind. "We'll finally have our freedom."

"Freedom sounds nice." He whispers back, voice breaking over the words. Yet he doesn't allow himself another moment to think of what's to come ahead more so than what he has in this moment. Louis, here before him and loving him like they'd promised one another all those years ago. Infinitely more the wise and marred by years of hidden realities. Without a second thought he tightens his grip in Louis' hand and leads him upstairs.