Sorry

It's five days later since that mess of a day with Jade, from my breakdown to blurting out something I hadn't meant to. I was genuinely wishing that I had met Jade first. Even though we were in the same school, we ran in different circles and I don't really recall ever meeting her. If we had though, would we have dated? Would I be where I am now? Would Jade do what Melissa did? I guess I will never know. Jade has blatantly shut any kind of advances I made.

I haven't gone to Sliders or reached out to her, not that we've exchanged numbers, but I knew I could easily get it. The reason? I'm fucking embarrassed. Jade was completely accurate, I needed to seek help, and I did. I found a therapist, and actually had my first session yesterday. He was a kind man in his late forties, and while being cheated on is not something anyone wants to discuss, I felt myself opening up to him pretty easily. He gave me really good perspective. I also joined an online group for men, specifically for those who have been cheated on. Hearing or rather reading other men's experiences has really helped me feel....hope.

Sleeping with women felt like a good way to get my aggression out and a way to get back at my ex. In hindsight, I was being an insensitive prick to women who didn't deserve it. Well maybe some of them, because not all of them seemed to care. But that's not who I am. It's my lowest of lows.

Melissa has been a pain in my ass, constantly calling and leaving voicemails, which I delete without listening to. Unfortunately, I'm in the middle of too much right now to change my number but I have a feeling I am going to have a sit down with her to finally put things to rest.

I've been working long days trying to occupy myself and my mind. Tonight, I'm currently camped out on Vance and Chase's couch with Chinese and Jack & Ozzy's World Tour on TV. I have no idea how long I've been watching this hilarious show but Vance walks in the front door, so I know it's gotta be late. He quietly plops next to me on the couch, a waft of his cologne mixed with cigarette smoke invades my space. Obviously he just came from the bar which made me wonder if Jade was working. I wanted to ask but kept quiet watching Ozzy search for Jack in the grocery store.

"So" he drags out, "Jade asked about you."

"Oh yeah?" I try to keep my tone neutral, emotionless.

"Yeah, why is she asking about you Victor?"

"I dunno man." shrugging my shoulders, internally this thrills me.

"Please tell me you didn't mess around with Jade."

"I didn't mess around with Jade." I repeat and it's actually the truth. My curiosity won this round, "What did you tell her?"

"Just that you been working a lot."

I hum my approval, continuing to watch Ozzy still looking for Jack even though he's passed him twice. I laugh out loud.

"Whatever's going on, don't piss off my favorite bartender!" with that he stands up and leaves me alone on the couch again.

xxx

The bar is packed, but I guess that's pretty standard for a Friday night in a small town. I convinced a few of my co-workers to come out and grab some beers after work. As soon as I stepped foot inside, my eyes gravitated to the bar, searching for her. Her dark hair is up in a messy knot with a red bandanna tied in, big hoops hang from her ears, and her top matches the red of her lips. She looks incredible. I knew I missed her, but it wasn't until now I really feel how much.

We find an open table and grab it before someone else. Colin offers to buy the first round for our group, then disappears into the crowd. I take a seat facing the bar, hoping to get a glimpse of Jade. Currently there's a clear view of her, she's talking and pouring drinks. This is her element, and her smile is bright.

The guys that came out with me seem like really stand up men. Colin and Dan were both in their mid-thirties, married with kids. Will is only a couple years older than me with a serious girlfriend, no kids but treat their bulldog like one, even named it Kevin. They think it's hilarious, which it kinda is. Colin returns with a pitcher and four glasses. We all bullshit about work and life, nothing too extreme but I know Dan and Colin enjoy some time out.

My eyes keep tabs on Jades moments when I'm able to see through the crowd, and as soon as our pitcher is gone I offer to get the next one. Grabbing the pitcher off the table, I make my way to the bar and shit I'm nervous. Jade seems to be staying more towards the right side, which is crowded with men, and Mike is on the left side. A man moves away and I swoop in his spot, not saying a word but continuing to watch her serve everyone. She reaches me, and when our eyes connect she pauses for just a split second. "Hey" she greets me but there's no warmth behind it.

"Hey Jade."

She moves to stand in front of me, "What can I get you?"

"Oh, um.." I place the pitcher on the bar top, "another pitcher of Miller."

She takes the pitcher and fills it up, not saying anything else. Now I know she's clearly mad at me. I hate that. "How are you?" I ask weakly.

"Just great." She snips, then places the now full pitcher in front of me. "Eight bucks."

I lay a twenty and slid it to her, she goes to grab it but I keep a hold on it. She looks up in question, "Can we talk?" I ask. She purses her red lips, "I'm a bit busy."

"Yeah, not now obviously but later?"

"I don't know Victor." I feel that. "I may have plans."

"Alright." I grab the pitcher and return to the table. The rest of the night, I'm in a funk. I know I have to talk to her, I cannot lose her, even if we remain just friends. She's easily become one of my closest friends in the last few weeks. I appreciate all she's done for me, and I have to make sure she knows this.

It's why I find myself waiting outside her door until 2am, being kicked in the leg. I startle, having fell asleep against her door, and glance up at Jade standing above me. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Waiting for you."

"Go home Victor."

"No, I need to talk to you." I stand up and scan her face, trying to see what she's thinking about. But I can't read her mind.

"You've had almost a week to talk to me, but you just ghosted."

"I didn't ghost you, I was embarrassed. I'm sorry."

"I told you, you had nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Well my mind didn't feel that way. You were right, I needed therapy. I had my first session on Wednesday."

"You did?"

"Yeah, it went well."

"Good." She sighs, "Look, you can come in but you're not staying. You don't deserve my breakfast." She unlocks her door and holds it open for me.

"That's okay. I have to be up early tomorrow, so I can't stay."

Her cat greets Jade at the door, and I watch her bend down to scoop her up. "Oh yeah? What's happening tomorrow?"

"I move into my house." I say simply, putting my hands in my pockets.

"Oh shit! That's exciting."

"Yeah, my brothers, sister, and parents are helping out. I don't have a whole lot so it shouldn't take long."

"Do you need any help?" she asks, snuggling her cat.

"I could always use extra hands." I shrug, "If you want to come help." I want her to come.

"What time are you starting?"

"Probably around nine a.m."

She cringes at that, "Maybe I'll swing over a bit later?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll give you my number, and just send me a text or something." I feel like her wanting to help me move is a really good thing. She would have written me off entirely if she didn't care at all. She places her cat on the couch and then hands me her phone. I add my number, send myself a text and hand it back to her. She glances at her phone and laughs, "You're such a dork."

Hearing her laugh makes me feel good. "Welp I better get outta here. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, maybe towards noon."

I don't really care what time she shows, just as long as she does. "Okay, Great!" My spirits have lifted dramatically since earlier, and all because of this girl in front of me. It's funny what life can throw at you sometimes, I hadn't expected to create a new friendship with his awesome chick. Maybe she's exactly what I needed at this point in my life.

I promised a longer chapter, and while this is longer I decided to break this into two chapters otherwise it would be too long. Is it possible to have a chapter too long? I don't know. lol.

I hope you enjoyed this. Please vote and I've love to hear your thoughts.

Remember this is a rough first draft, don't hesitate to point anything out.

Thank you for reading!