Chapter 23

WHITLEY

I’ve lost several months of my life, and nobody will tell me anything. Just that I need to quit trying so hard to remember. Easy for them to say. They know what the fuck they’ve done for the last three to four damn months! The only thing I was told was that I have a new job. It’s at a place called Seaside Publishing.

***

It’s been over a month since I was released from the hospital, and I’ve slowly started working, thinking it might help take my mind off of trying to remember. I look up to see my boss, Chanel, walk in.

“How’s it going?” she asks.

I smile.

“Good.”

“No, it’s not,” she replies.

“It’s not?”

“It’s in your eyes, child. What’s going on?”

“I don’t know. I just haven’t been sleeping well lately. My dreams have been weird.”

“Are they dreams or memories?” she asks.

I snort a laugh.

“I seriously doubt some of these dreams are memories.”

“Try me.”

I look at her.

“Okay, fine. One is of me running on the beach early in the morning. It’s weird because that’s all I’m doing, running. I watch men look at my ass as I go by, but that’s it.”

“And the other?”

“I’m in bed with Gabriel.”

“Go on.”

I look up and hesitate.

“When we both climax, he has his head between my shoulders, and he tells me he loves me.”

“And you’re sure they aren’t memories?” she asks.

“Kendrick would never let me have a relationship with his best friend. That wouldn’t happen.”

“Never say never in this world.”

“Besides, I rarely see Gabriel anymore. He stays at his new house. Something about doing some redecorating.”

“Well, you know you can work from home anytime. That’s one of the perks of the job.”

“Thanks. I probably will next week.”

“Going to your brother’s game tonight?”

“No. The noise still gets to me a little. Maybe in a few weeks.”

***

“Want to go to the game with me tonight?” Aubrey asks.

“I wish I could, but the noise still gets to me some. I guess it’s a quiet night in watching it on TV for me.”

“Well, as soon as you can handle the noise, it’s you and me, baby. Front and center!”

“All right, deal!”

I watch as she walks out the door. Getting to know Aubrey is great. She’s an amazing woman. Somehow, she said she knew we would become fast friends. I can understand why Kendrick is so in love with her.

Turning on the TV, I see the coach on the screen. His face is so familiar.

“I’m hearing you’re the team to beat this year for a chance at the Super Bowl,” a reporter says.

The coach holds his hands out, looking up to the sky.

“Thank you, Jesus!” he exclaims.

All of a sudden, there’s a sharp pain in my head. I grab both sides of my head and moan. It’s like I see a vision of myself and the coach standing on the sidelines. I’m telling him I was offered a better job here to stay, and he exclaims the same thing.

“Oh my god! That was a memory! I just had a memory!” I shout.

I grab my phone and call my mom.

“Hey, darling. How you—”

“I just had a memory!”

“What! That’s wonderful! What was it?” she asks.

“Well, it was nothing important unfortunately, but a memory nonetheless!”

“I’m so happy for you, Whitley. That just means they are there.”

“I just wish they all would come back.”

“I know, darling. Just give them a chance to find their way. If one insignificant one can, then they all can.”

“I love you, Mom.”

“I love you, Whit.”

***

The guys win by a landslide. They haven’t lost a game yet.

I’m working late on some editing when an email comes through. It’s from the New York Department of Corrections. Upon opening it, I see it’s a copy of an accident report and a file against Brittany Riddell. She’s been charged with attempted murder. My murder.

My mind is running a hundred miles an hour. Nobody told me what kind of accident I had. After reading the details of the accident, I realize several things. One: Nobody told me I was attacked again by Brittany Riddell. And two: I already knew Aubrey. She was there at the time of the attack.

I hear Kendrick finally make his way home after the game. I walk downstairs, and I guess I have a look on my face because he asks.

“What happened?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask.

“Tell you what?”

“Everything! Why is it I have to get an email from New York to find out about my attack!”

“Shit!”

“That’s all you have to say?”

He runs his hand down his face.

“You weren’t supposed to know until your mind was ready for it.”

“My mind? The hell with my mind! I have the right to know!”

“Whitley.”

“Who gave you the right to make my choices for me?”

“You did! Remember?”

“How did she find me?”

“That we don’t know. We weren’t in New York long.”

“Where is she now?”

“Alabama, finishing her sentence due to the parole violation. Then she’ll be extradited to New York to a maximum-security psychiatric prison to start her next sentence, which is twenty-five to life.”

I let out a heavy breath.

“It’s over?”

“It’s over, Whit.”

“It’s over, but my memories are gone.”

“Whitley.”

“No. I wake up every day hoping I’ll remember something, anything. Tonight, I remembered telling your coach I got offered a better job to stay. All I want are those months back. I know they’re important! Something in my gut tells me they’re important! And I’m starting to wonder if it has something to do with Gabriel. All of the sudden, he’s just gone! He refuses to come around me. Why is that!?” I shout.

I turn and walk to the stairs. Stopping at the bottom, I turn and look at my brother. He has tears in his eyes.

“No, Kendrick. It’s not over. As long as she took my memories, it’s far from over.”