Chapter 23

A couple of days passed since the incident with Lisa.

Jennie was being a bit of a coward and certainly petty, but she couldn't help but do her best to avoid Lisa. It was for a number of reasons - she was angry at her, she was scared she wouldn't believe her, and she was scared to talk about her true feelings.

At best she was delaying the inevitable - at worst, she was completely pushing Lisa away and ruining their relationship. Regardless, this couldn't go on much longer, and Jennie knew it.

But every time she'd get a glimpse of her in the hallways or the parking lot, she couldn't help but immediately hide from the other girl. It was a visceral reaction, a defence mechanism even.

Thank God Jisoo caught wind of the situation somehow, because she stopped bothering the both of them entirely. She never tried to talk about it, but she'd often flash suspicious glances in Jennie's direction. It got on Jennie's nerves, but she decided to ignore the blonde anyway.

By the time Jennie noticed how long she'd been avoiding Lisa, it was Friday after school, and she'd stayed behind to finish a chemistry project, late enough that Lisa was probably already at home.

Fuck, I'm going to have to endure the weekend like this, Jennie thought. I might just have to meet her outside of school at this point.

She headed out to the front where Nayeon said she'd pick her up. But when she got there, she didn't see Nayeon's black SUV. Parked at the curb was a sedan, the window rolled down with Lisa leaning out of it.

"I'm your ride today," she said with a blank expression.

"That is, if you don't want to have to walk."

Jennie was too shocked to even run away. "Lisa?"

"Please get in," she said, her voice a bit desperate.

Jennie swallowed, knowing she couldn't make it out of this situation without being completely obvious. If she ran away now, she probably wouldn't get another chance to patch things up.

Hesitantly, she walked around to the passenger door and climbed in.

The silence was palpable as Lisa started the engine and drove out of the drop-off circle. She noticed the car wasn't going in the direction of her house.

"What are we going?" she asked.

"Just somewhere to talk," Lisa replied. She glanced at Jennie, a glint of something reflecting in her eyes.

"Just trust me."

"Okay," was all Jennie could muster, and she texted her dad that she'd be home a little late.

The car ride was silent the entire way, and Jennie spent her time looking out the window. Her heart was pounding, partly because she was unsure of what was going to happen and partly because she was sitting next to Lisa after almost a week on not seeing her.

Despite the drama going on, she couldn't help but feel a little bit happy to see the transfer student again. Her feelings were definitely still alive and well.

Finally, Lisa turned off the freeway to a side road, and Jennie started to recognize where they were going. Lisa drove a little off the road to park near the shore of the lake, one that Jennie used to go to a lot when her mother was still alive. Although it was a popular hang-out spot, at this time and month the lake was entirely devoid of people.

Lisa got out of the car and Jennie followed suit. Lisa leaned against the trunk of her sedan, facing the broad lake which was glowing pink as it reflected the setting sun.

To Jennie's surprise, Lisa pulled out a pack of cigarettes, taking one and holding it in her mouth as she held it to the flame of a lighter.

"I didn't know you smoked," Jennie remarked.

"Does it bother you?" Lisa asked, though she said it in a way that was almost a challenge.

"No. It's just a little surprising."

Lisa sighed, releasing a puff of smoke. "I don't do it super often. Just a habit I picked up last year."

Jennie timidly walked over and leaned against the trunk as well.

"Why the lake?" she asked after a couple seconds passed.

"It's a neutral place to talk," Lisa answered, shrugging.

"Plus, it's pretty during the sunset."

Another few seconds of silence passed, and in a way, it was almost peaceful just watching the sun go down.

It was a little chilly, but the crisp air was refreshing to Jennie, even when it was mixed with the smell of cigarette smoke. She buried her hands in her jacket pockets.

"Why'd you avoid me so much?" Lisa asked. "Makes you seem a little suspect, you know?"

Jennie found herself getting angry at the comment, but she took a deep breath and reigned in her emotions. It was understandable that Lisa would be upset after being continuously ignored

"I...was thinking about what to say," she said.

"Do you know now?" Lisa asked.

"Not exactly," Jennie said, "but I'll try anyway."

Lisa took a puff of her cigarette, waiting. Jennie turned towards her, gathering her conviction.

"Look, I know it looks bad," she began.

"But I've never truly bullied or harassed anyone. I can be a major bitch, but I don't pick on people who can't stand up for themselves. Especially not over something like grades."

Lisa searched her eyes, flicking some ash off the end of her cigarette.

"Then what about what Nancy was saying? She told me you've been holding a grudge since she's going after the top spot in the school."

"Nancy and I were friend's freshman year," Jennie explained. "She'd follow me around everywhere and I'd defend her from people who would pick on her for being shy. Some girls who bullied her in middle school came to this high school as well, and I got caught in the crossfire.

"I started studying a lot after my mom died because I just didn't really know what else to do with myself. When I started getting first on the exams, Nancy started to show her true colours, she'd steal my study materials and copy off my tests. I knew she was troubled because she had a lot of pressure from her parents to do better, but I think from the beginning she was using me. First to protect her from bullies and then to mooch off of for grades."

Lisa listened quietly, her eyes focused on the sunset rather than on Jennie.

"It wasn't working, and she still wasn't doing so well on exams," Jennie continued. "She blew up at me and told the teachers I was copying off of her. When that didn't work, she'd stage it like I was bullying her and threatening her to do worse on exams. It was really obvious that she was making it up, so teachers stopped trusting her and she even got into trouble with the administration.

"A lot of rumours surfaced from the whole situation, like that my dad was pulling the strings to get Nancy in trouble. But mostly, people just started to avoid her because she was getting a little hysterical and obsessed. I think she truly believes it's my fault that people don't like her, but I mostly tried to stay out of the situation. I don't think she's mentally sound, but she's been harassing me for years now and I'm tired of it. That's why you saw me blow up in the bathroom at her."

Lisa puffed her cigarette again, looking over at Jennie

"I've never seen you that pissed before, not even at me, so I was surprised."

"Sometimes I get close to that level with you," Jennie joked, smiling a bit at the slightly lightened mood.

"I'm gonna put this out," Lisa said, holding up her reduced cigarette. She went to the car and came back, leaning on the trunk again.

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "So, why was Nancy targeting me? She seemed to specifically want me to hate you."

"Uh, well, I..." Jennie tensed, swallowing nervously.

She looked at her feet, happy that Lisa seemed to be doing the same. Her chest was on fire, her stomach doing somersaults, her hands clenching the fabric inside her pockets.

Fuck it.

"She must've...guessed how I feel about you."

There was a second of silence, and Jennie didn't dare to look up at Lisa.

"How you feel about me?" Lisa echoed, her voice wavering a bit.

"Yeah," Jennie choked out, her cheeks beginning to blaze. "I think that I... like you."

She saw Lisa jolt out of the corner of her eye, now standing straight instead of leaning on the car.

"Oh, um..." Lisa trailed off, trying to find her words.

Jennie wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow her whole, especially at that reaction. She must've been completely stupid, thinking that there was a chance Lisa felt the same way. After all, just because Lisa was a lesbian didn't mean she'd be into her like that.

As Lisa seemed to fumble with words, Jennie stood up straight as well.

"Well, I think I'm just gonna go drown myself in the lake." she said awkwardly, horrified that she had no way of walking out of this situation since her ride home was the object of her embarrassment.

Suddenly, Lisa grabbed her wrists, turning them face-to-face. Jennie couldn't help but look up at Lisa, whose face was also extremely red, her expression flustered.

"I'm sorry, I'm just super surprised," Lisa stammered.

"I didn't think this talk would turn out this way."

She moved her hands down to Jennie's, holding them as they locked eyes.

"Look, I know I've been a complete idiot, accusing you of things and being suspicious of you. But everyone I've cared about has ditched me in one way or another, so I've been scared..."

Jennie listened, trying her best not to look away in spite of her embarrassment. Lisa seemed so flustered and unsure of herself, a state that Jennie had never seen her in. She was usually so confident and direct.

"My ex turned out to be someone I didn't know at all," Lisa continued, "so the thought of you being someone else around other people scared the shit out me. I just wanted to run away because I was afraid of what you'd tell me..."

"You were scared of getting hurt?" Jennie asked gently.

Lisa cracked a humourless smirk.

"Yeah. Because I like you so much."

Jennie's heart nearly pounded out of her chest and she immediately broke eye contact and stared at her feet. She started to feel almost light-headed with relief that her feelings were actually reciprocated. All of this was relatively new territory for Jennie and putting months' worth of feelings out in the open was terrifying and exciting at the same time.

"We're both really stupid," Jennie muttered.

"You can say that again," Lisa agreed.

The sun had completely set, leaving the lakeside dark and cold, so the girls decided to get back into the car and head home. During the car ride, Lisa didn't let go of Jennie's hand, sending shivers down her spine.

"Your hand's sweaty," Lisa teased.

Jennie blushed. "My hands don't sweat," she argued indignantly. "Must be yours."

Lisa laughed, and Jennie's heart tightened at how genuinely happy it sounded.

She wanted to stay with Lisa a little longer, but her father was already blowing up her phone, and she knew it'd be pushing it to ask to stay out. Even so, when they pulled up at the curb next to Jennie's house, Jennie was hesitant to let go of Lisa's hand.

"I'm really glad we got this all settled," Lisa said.

"Me too."

Lisa was silent for a second, but then she looked up and they locked eyes. The feeling gave Jennie a sense of déjà vu from the sleepover they had several weeks ago, their faces instinctively drawing closer to each other.

But this time, the action was carried through. Their lips touched lightly, lighting Jennie's body on fire. It was very light and chaste, but still enough to make the honour student's head spin. When they pulled away, Jennie let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"You taste like cigarettes," she blurted out quietly.

Lisa looked surprised for a second, then she burst out laughing.

"You sure know how to follow a mood!"

Jennie blushed, embarrassed.

"Oh, shut the hell up! And who kisses before the first date anyway?"

"What? You kissed me at the same time!" Lisa looked at Jennie with a genuine smile, her voice lowering.

"I really like you...so much."

And now Jennie was blushing for a different reason.

"I...I like you too."

They said their goodbyes and Jennie ran up to her house. She basically flew past her dad and brothers in the living room, immediately heading to her room to lay face-down on the bed. She couldn't believe all of what just happened.

She likes me back...