Chapter 35

Jennie's alarm pulsed in her ears, pounding at an already horrible headache.

She woke up slowly, hoping that the events of yesterday were nothing but a bad dream, but the swollen state of her cried-out eyes told her otherwise.

She wanted literally nothing more than to silence her alarm, crawl back under her covers, and sleep, but she had already been absent yesterday. If she broke down now, then everything she had done, to Lisa and to herself, would have been for nothing.

So, Jennie dragged herself out of bed and to her bathroom to get ready for the day.

She did her best to hide her puffy eyes with makeup, but it probably wasn't going to get past her family and Nayeon and Irene. She just hoped they got the hint and won't ask her about it. Sufficiently dressed, she headed downstairs to wait for her ride from Nayeon.

The first floor was entirely empty since her father had already taken her brothers to school and then gone to work himself. In a way she was glad, and in another she was lonely.

She had locked herself in her room from the moment she stepped in the door after school yesterday. Her father had naturally tried to check on her, but she refused to come out.

Jennie just stared blankly at her door as she waited for the text message from Nayeon. She felt gross from crying last night - she hated how dry it made her eyes and she just did not like the feeling of it in general.

The moment she broke up with Lisa, part of her regretted it and part of her was relieved. She should have spent more time processing what happened with her grades - her decision to end a relationship with someone she cared about was based on the terrible fear she had felt when she saw the grade on that midterm exam.

Since the year after her mother died, Jennie had gotten A's on every exam she took. It became second nature to her, to the point where it did not even stress her out too much. The only time it was somewhat of an issue was when a teacher made a mistake on her 9th grade history final and accidentally gave her a B.

That certainly caused a lot of drama.

There wasn't any specific reason as to why Jennie had to be a first-place honour student. It was just that nothing felt interesting or fun after her mother died, so back in middle school she just studied to keep her mind off the loss. She happened to get first place and ever since then, it had just been a part of who Jennie was.

When she saw that something she did was not perfect, she felt a hopeless despair in the pit of her stomach.

Without realizing it, she developed an unhealthy obsession with perfection, which was probably why she had trouble opening up to people around her - if she did, then they'd see her flaws, her fears, her desires.

Even so, everyone she did open up to - Lisa, her father, Nayeon and Irene - all accepted those flaws without question. So why did she feel so pathetic and worthless when she got a C on that chemistry exam?

It was enough to make her terrified of her first real relationship. Since it correlated with a dip in her grades, she felt a nagging impulse to cut it out of her life before things began spiralling downwards.

It was out of fear for her grades...

It was out of pressure from the overwhelming stress...

It was...

Cowardly.

Jennie started when she felt her phone buzz in her hand, and she looked down to see Nayeon's message. She took a breath and opened her front door to step outside.

It was going to be a long day.

---

Jennie thought she could just drown her sorrows in her schoolwork that day, but she found herself almost more unable to focus than before.

Nonetheless, before she could begin questioning all of her decisions, she opted for a more rational conclusion - it was natural that she was upset right now, but after a few days of getting used to it, she'd launch back into her studying.

After all, it was what she did in middle school to keep her occupied while she mourned her mother. If it worked for something as horrible as that, it would work for the end of a month-long relationship.

Honestly, Jennie never imagined she would be so upset about ending such a short relationship. It didn't even last as long as when she "went out" with that boy in middle school. Yet, the pain of breaking up with Lisa was a good hundred times worse. She had never liked someone as much as she liked Lisa. With the amount that she missed the tall blond in one day after dumping her, you would almost think she was in lo-

No, no, that is not what this is. My future is more important than some high school relationship.

She shook the thought out of her head as she left second period, doing her best to keep her thoughts under control. She was so occupied by being lost in her mind that she unknowingly bumped into something, stopping her in her tracks.

She looked up to see a familiar face, one that was probably one of the last ones she wanted to see.

"Oh, hello, Jennie," Nancy smiled wickedly, and Jennie knew exactly where this was headed.

"Long time, no see."

"I really don't have the patience today, Nancy," Jennie warned, keeping her voice controlled and level.

Nancy ignored her. "I guess you decided to heed my warnings after all. Too bad it was after you got me suspended. Now the administration won't believe that I'm meant to be first place on the honour roll they're investigating me for cheating."

Jennie continued walking down the hall, doing her best to keep her cool. All she wanted to do was slap that smirk off Nancy's face, but that would be below her. Or maybe it wouldn't, since she already did it before.

"They just can't believe that their favourite pet isn't as smart as they made her out to be," Nancy continued.

Following the brunette as she walked. "But really, what happened to you? Did your transfer student girlfriend break up with you?"

Jennie stopped in her tracks, causing Nancy to nearly bump into her. A lack of sleep, a break-up, and paranoia made one's patience only run so thick. And Jennie was just about out of it.

"Don't mention her again," Jennie warned, not even looking at the small, dark-haired girl.

"Who, Lisa?" Nancy questioned, but her voice was a little more unsteady, as if she was actually a little intimidated by the way Jennie was acting right now. "I knew that girl was having an effect on you, but I didn't think it'd be this bad. Still, it is nice to know that she finally realized what a shitty person you are and-"

"Just shut up!" Jennie rounded on Nancy, raising her voice. She clenched her fists, literally only two seconds away from abandoning her reputation and pride to plant them on this horrible bitch's face.

"You guys are kind of blocking the door."

The voice sent chills down Jennie's spine as she looked up to see none other than the person in question: Lisa.

Apparently, they had stopped right outside of a classroom door, blocking it. The whole scene gave Jennie a sense of déjà vu - it was so similar to how she and Lisa first met at the start of the semester. It felt like years ago now.

"L-Lisa," Jennie stammered, her face reddening. She wasn't sure how to react to this awkward situation, but she instantly experienced a wave of sadness and longing. Even right now, in the middle of an argument with Nancy, standing in a busy hallway, Jennie wanted nothing more than to just hug the tall blonde.

But Lisa did not appear to share the same temptation.

Her face was stuck in an intimidating scowl, her eyes unemotional and stern. She looked over at Nancy, causing the smaller girl to tense up.

"Haven't you gotten tired of this yet?" Lisa asked, her voice low. "If I see you pulling this shit again, I'm seriously not going to let you get away with it."

Despite the simplicity of her threat, the pure vitriol in her tone was enough to make Nancy go pale. It was possibly because Lisa had only ever been nice to Nancy and somewhat manipulated by her.

"Uh, sorry, I've got to get to class now!" Nancy yelped and hurried off down the hallway.

Lisa watched her for a second, then looked down at Jennie, causing the latter to feel weak in her legs.

However, the taller girl did not say anything as she stepped around Jennie and entered the classroom.

Even when they were enemies, Lisa had never acted this cold to Jennie. It made her feel like a hole was going to form in her own chest.

Jennie was unsure if she would be able to pay attention to any lecture at all today.