Chapter 49

"Oh, God, what am I doing?"

Jennie said this to herself after parking on the curb a little down the way from what she assumed to be Jisoo's house based on the address given to her.

There was a decent row of cars along the sidewalk, leading Jennie to believe that she was one of the last ones there.

Which wasn't really surprising considering she was held back by her father to receive a safety lecture before borrowing his car to the get-together. Guiltily, she opted to lie to him and say that she was going over to Jisoo's to work on the group project.

He was initially sceptical, but when she told him she'd made up with Lisa, who would be present there, he warmed up to the idea. He seemed comfortable with her meeting someone he knew.

Little did he know she was going to what would probably end up being a party.

Well, it wouldn't be a big, open party like the one she went to at the end of last year. The one she spotted Kai at.

Jennie's mouth started going dry at the memory, but she shook off the bad feeling. Jisoo insisted over text that it was an intimate get-together with people she knew. Kai wouldn't be able to blend in like he did before.

Plus, it had been months since he contacted her at this point. Fear still rested in the back of Jennie's mind, but she'd almost accepted the fact that maybe he'd just moved on.

She could only hope.

Jennie got out of the car, straightening her clothes.

Although she'd spent longer than she'd like to admit on her outfit, she just went with a thin sweater, a plaid skirt, and boots. It was nothing fancy, but she shouldn't wear something fancy to this kind of a thing. She had to refrain from getting too out of hand for the sake of catching the attention of someone at the party.

No, no... she wasn't try to get any attention. She was just going to have fun and meet that boy that Jisoo told her about. Maybe get some normalcy in her life.

And Lisa wasn't going to prevent her from doing that.

After all, she would apparently have someone to occupy her already.

The thought left a heavy feeling in Jennie's stomach, but she ignored it as she headed up to the front door of the house.

She only waited for a brief moment after knocking before the door opened to reveal Jisoo.

"Jennie! I'm so glad you decided to come!" Jisoo exclaimed.

She seemed to know better than to try to hug Jennie, and instead backed up into the house to make room for the honour student. Jennie hung up her coat in the rack beside the door at Jisoo's prompting and stepped further inside.

Her eyes scanned the interior of the house and she noticed that most of the other guests were in the living room. It was mostly guys, but no one she really recognized. However, she did catch the eye of a boy sitting on a two-seated couch - he was a dark-haired boy with thick glasses.

Obviously less confidant and boisterous than the other guys, but he was handsome. He'd probably fall into Jennie's type...if she really had one.

As Jisoo introduced her to the group, she looked to her right and had her attention immediately pulled away to focus on the guest she knew was already there.

Lisa was looking sort of wide-eyed at her, as if stunned. She thought she caught the tall blonde's eyes flicker down Jennie's body, but Jennie felt she must've imagined it. After all, Lisa had a cute little redhead situated to her left side, leaning close to her.

Immediately, a pit of irritation bubbled inside of her.

She did her best to quell it - Lisa was free to do whatever she wanted with whoever she wanted.

Plus, Jennie guessed the girl was Jisoo's aforementioned cousin, so the two must've only just met.

Although Lisa and Jennie exchanged glances, they didn't greet each other, and Jisoo didn't seem to be pushing it. Instead, the cheerleader brought her over to the nerdy guy who was looking at Jennie earlier.

"Jennie, this is Owen, my boyfriend's childhood friend." Jisoo introduced.

"Owen, this is Jennie, my close friend from school."

Jennie shot her an annoyed look at the inaccurate introduction, but then flashed Owen a fake smile.

The brown-haired boy seemed a bit entranced by Jennie, and his reactions were slow.

"Oh, uh, hi, nice to meet you," he said, sticking out his hand.

The guys next to him snickered at the weirdly formal gesture, but Jennie ignored them and took his hand.

"Nice to meet you too."

Jisoo seemed to be watching Jennie closely, and once she'd let go of Owen's hand, the blonde leaned to whisper in the honour student's ear. She pointed to the redhead sitting next to Lisa.

"That's my cousin, Somi," she whispered. "Her and Lisa seemed to be getting along pretty well, huh?"

Jennie's blood quickly started to boil at the comment and Jisoo's obvious attempt to rile her up, but she calmed herself down. Getting a reaction was what

Jisoo wanted after all. And Jennie wouldn't give her that.

"Yeah, she's very pretty. She seems nice too," Jennie replied coolly.

But that didn't seem to do anything to ease Jisoo's fiendish smirk. "She is. But, anyway, I'm gonna go check on my boyfriend. Maybe yourself at home, Jennie.

And with that, the blonde headed over to the young man in question, quickly sticking to his arm.

Jennie awkwardly turned back to the four-eyed boy who seemed flustered about being left alone with Jennie.

"Oh, um, let me scoot over," he stammered.

"There's plenty of room to sit."

Although it was a little closer than Jennie's strict bubble normally allowed, she took his offer and sat down. Something in her spurred her to continue interacting with this boy who she'd normally just blow off. And that feeling became worse every time she glanced over at Lisa and Somi.

Jennie was pulled from her angry staring by the voice of the boy beside her.

"So, um, you're friends with Jisoo?" he asked, trying desperately to come up with a conversation topic.

"I guess you could say that," she replied. "We kind of run-in different circles."

"Ah, yeah, that's kind of how I am with Isaac. We grew up on the same block, but he was always sporty and popular, and I was always more of a bookworm, I guess."

Jennie perked up a little at their shared situations.

She was only expecting to meet annoying jocks and cheerleaders at this get-together. But this boy seemed to be more her speed.

"You like books?" she asked, just kind of casually throwing a bone to see if they could get a more comfortable conversation going.

"What kind?"

"Oh, just like the classics," he replied. "It's kinda boring, but I ended up loving the stuff we'd have to read in class. Like Fahrenheit 451, 1984, Of Mice and Men..."

"I don't think it's boring," Jennie said, a bit intrigued.

"My classmates used to make fun of me for liking assigned reading. But my mom was a teacher, so she got me into that stuff."

"That's awesome! I feel like no one really likes to read anymore."

They fell into a lengthy conversation about books and how unpopular they were to high schoolers. Jennie actually found herself enjoying it. It had been a while since she'd connected quickly with a stranger, much less a boy. And Owen was very similar to her in many ways - he was just nicer and easier to approach.

As they chatted happily, Jennie kept feeling eyes bore into the side of her face. She would sometimes glance back over to the other side of the room where Lisa was sitting with Somi. It seemed like every time she looked, Somi would be inching closer to Lisa, placing a hand on her arm or talking right next to her ear. So, she drowned her pain in her conversation with Owen.

Eventually, the talk was interrupted by Jisoo who walked into the living room wielding a massive bowl of popcorn.

"Alright, movie time!" she announced.

Apparently, the boy who the get-together was for, the one who was leaving the school, loved horror movies, so Jisoo put on a recently released one.

Instead of making people sit in uncomfortable folding chairs, Jisoo set out some floor cushions and blankets. Lisa and Somi, who were originally in the chairs, moved to the floor, and Jennie found it difficult to take her eyes off them.

Jennie and Owen remained on the couch, and as the lights were dimmed and the movie was started, Owen seemed to get visibly nervous. Although Jennie was rather impartial to the boy, she felt unable to share his anxiety, and was rather unaffected by their proximity. In a way, it frustrated Jennie. It seemed like instead of getting fluttery feelings for Owen, she always had half of her attention focused on Lisa.

The movie didn't make things much better.

Whenever there was even the slightest jump scare, Somi would yelp and cling onto Lisa. Every time it happened Jennie could feel her blood boil. She tried her best to focus on the movie or on Owen, but it was increasingly difficult. They were always in her field of view as she watched the television screen.

However, one of her bouts of anger was interrupted by a warm sensation creeping near her shoulders.

Owen had leaned back and put his arm over the back of the couch behind Jennie. The honour student froze, unsure of what to do. But as she saw Somi cling to Lisa one more time and not let go, she allowed the boy to settle his arm directly over his shoulders.

At almost the exact time, Lisa happened to look back, and she immediately noticed the action. Her mouth was formed in a straight line, with a look in her eyes that Jennie couldn't quite recognize. She quickly returned her attention to the TV, leaving the brunette to wonder what she was really thinking.

I have to stop focusing on her, Jennie told herself. It's time to move on and let go.

Finally.

---

The movie wasn't particularly long, but it was still around midnight when it ended. Jennie contemplated going home, but in a way, she was content just sitting on the couch with Owen.

That is, until Jisoo appeared from the kitchen with a large bottle of clear liquid and a 12-pack of beer.

"Alright, Jisoo!" one guy cheered, and several boys flocked over to the table Jisoo set the drinks on.

Jennie immediately stiffened. Sure, it wasn't a huge party, but Jisoo was still planning to pull the alcohol out? Jennie hated underage drinking!

"I'll be right back," Jennie told Owen, and he lifted his arm off her, looking a bit confused.

She stalked over to Jisoo, pulling her away from the commotion at the table.

"Jisoo, what the fuck is this?" she loudly whispered.

Jisoo put her hands up as if innocent. "Hey, it's a bunch of jocks! You don't have to drink if you don't want to."

"Of course, I don't want to!" Jennie exclaimed. "And I do not want to be around some drunken losers who get busted by the cops from a noise complaint! Where are your parents!?"

"They're out on a ski-trip." Jisoo smiled. "But you're free to go home whenever you like, Jennie."

"Of course, I'm going ho-" Jennie was cut off when she saw Lisa out of the corner of her eye, so she turned to watch the tall girl, accompanied by Somi, pour a shot glass full of the clear liquor, and drink it.

What is she doing? What an idiot! I never thought she'd be like this!

Jisoo followed Jennie's angry gaze. "Hey, don't try to kill her with your eyes, Jennie. She's just having a little fun."

"Fun? What is fun about a goddamn crime?!"

Jisoo's smile seemed to falter, and Jennie could sense what almost seemed like a bit of frustration with the honour student. This unusual display of honesty kind of shocked Jennie.

"Look, Jennie, we're just relaxing and letting loose a little. I know you don't normally do that, but like I said - you're free to go home whenever."

And with that, Jisoo stalked off to join the crowd at the table once again.

She acts like I don't know how to have fun, Jennie thought bitterly. I know all about fun! You don't need controlled substances to have fun! It's stupid! It's what dumb jocks and cheerleaders do!

But seeing Lisa take that swig of liquor planted a seed of uncertainty in Jennie. Maybe she was too uptight.

She'd go through her entire teen years not really breaking a rule, not being even the slightest bit rebellious. She only valued her schoolwork, really.

Maybe that's why she couldn't be with Lisa.

The thought instantly made Jennie upset, and she found her body automatically walking towards the table.

I can have fun, Jennie thought. But I'll prove that this isn't necessary.

She opted to just take a beer, figuring that alone couldn't hurt her. At some point, Owen was pressured by his friends to take several shots, and the boy obviously wasn't handling it well.

Alone on the couch sipping her beer, Jennie's head became fuzzy far quicker than she expected. Maybe it was because she'd never drank before? But honestly, this drink was disgusting. How did anyone like beer at all?

She thought that, but kept taking sips, nonetheless, feeling fuzzier and fuzzier.

The other partygoers started playing drinking games, and since Jennie was now alone in the living room, she headed over to the table where most everyone was. However, on the way, she bumped into another body, spilling the small remainder of her beer on her shirt.

"Huh? What the hell, watch where you're-" Jennie's voice caught in her throat when she looked up to see Lisa's figure towering over her.

She was obviously inebriated, standing a bit off balanced with eyes occasionally going out of focus.

Enraged that the drink got on her shirt and that she was bumped into, Jennie shoved Lisa away before she could get her faculties together.

"Hey, watch the fuck out!" she warned.

Lisa's face instantly turned sour. "Huh? You ran into me!"

"As if!" Jennie snapped back. "You're always in my way! No matter where I'm walking, you always seem to be there, running into me like an idiot!"

Lisa gritted her teeth, ready to fire back, before someone cleared their throat nearby.

Standing next to them was Jisoo's boyfriend, giving them a stern look.

"Everything alright here, ladies?" he asked. He didn't seem to be the slightest bit tipsy, and Jennie recounted how Jisoo said he hated parties. Maybe he just hated boisterous drunks.

"Y-yeah, everything's fine," Lisa replied. Then she put an arm over Jennie's shoulders, pulling her close.

Jennie flushed furiously at the action, and she couldn't help but compare it to the sensation of Owen putting his arm around her. If they could even be compared. "She's just not used to drinking, so I was helping her to the bathroom."

Isaac looked between the two of them suspiciously for a second. "Alright. The bathroom's down the hall to the right."

"Thank you," Lisa said, turning around to haul Jennie in the direction he indicated.

Jennie protested the whole time, but Lisa persisted until she shoved her into the bathroom, following suit and closing the door behind them.

"What's your problem? Are you trying to make a scene or--"

Lisa was interrupted when Jennie crashed into her, shoving her back against the door.

"Don't make it seem like I'm the only one drunk. You obviously are too!"

Lisa seemed to flush a little at their closeness, but lightly shoved Jennie away.

"So what? I'm not the one acting like an idiot."

"Okay, well you're embarrassing yourself, hanging all over that red-headed chick!" Jennie argued. "Making everyone uncomfortable about it!"

"You were doing the same with that nerd guy! And I think your behaviour right now is the only thing making everyone uncomfortable!"

"Oh, get off your high horse! Just because you've partied so much more than me doesn't mean you handle yourself better when there's a bunch of alcohol!"

"Who says I've partied a lot?" Lisa fired back. "And who says I had a bunch of alcohol! You're just mad that I'm getting along with Jisoo's cousin!"

Jennie reeled, markedly upset at how spot-on Lisa was.

But she wasn't about to admit the fact. "Oh, don't act like you weren't staring at me when I was with Owen! Why can't you just butt out and get over me!"

Lisa seethed, her fists balled, and her face red. Jennie was worried that she was about to get legitimately angry, and she regretted being so harsh. However,

Jennie was astonished when she saw tears escaping from the taller girl's eyes.

"Yeah," she replied, quick to wipe at the little bits of moisture coating her upper cheek. "Yeah, so what? I can't get over it! Every time I see you, I wish I could just talk to you and touch you like I used to. I get upset that things can't be how they used to be, even months after we broke up. I'm fucking pathetic!"

Jennie was completely frozen in shock, just taking in the uncharacteristically vulnerable state of the blonde. She opened her mouth, but it took a second for a coherent word to come out. "L-Lisa, I-"

Before she could finish, Lisa interrupted. "I even tried to get along with Jisoo's cousin and just, you know, give it a try, but it's just...it's not the same. All that goes through my head when she talks or touches me is how much better it'd be if it was you..."

The admission sent a complete chill throughout Jennie's body. It was difficult to process with a brain fuzzy from alcohol, but the reality of Lisa's words still caused a visceral reaction. Different responses flashed quickly through her brain, and she found herself being torn between all of them.

So, eventually, she just let her body make the decision, slamming herself into Lisa and crashing their lips together.

The moment their skin touched, Jennie's whole body was set ablaze. Lisa took a split second in stunned stillness, but soon quickly reciprocated the kiss, their lips moving together like a dance they had long since practiced, but still had memorized

Lisa immediately leaned down and wrapped her arms around Jennie's waist - the small motion, in Jennie's hazy state, elicited a small moan. The sound seemed to spur the taller girl on, and she tightened her grip, shoving her tongue into Jennie's mouth.

All of this sudden action was leaving Jennie nearly gasping for breath, but she kept their lips connected, overcome by desire. The experience was exciting, arousing, shocking...but most of all, it was familiar.

And Jennie could never have realized just how desperately she'd missed Lisa's touch.

In the back of her mind, she knew this was a terrible idea, and horribly out of character. Jennie Kim never lost her cool, never lost to any animalistic desires. But here she was, and honestly, she couldn't care less about how Jennie Kim was supposed to be acting. It was just about her and Lisa in that very moment.

Lisa leaned off of the door and started walking Jennie backwards until the shorter girl's lower back hit the edge of the bathroom sink. The blonde separated their mouths, eliciting a pang of disappointment in Jennie before she felt lips on her throat. The brunette bit her bottom lip, trying her best not to let out any embarrassing noises like before.

Lisa kissed up her jawline, nibbling her earlobe a little. Jennie felt her knees go weak at the sensation, and she was grateful that she had the support of both the edge of the sink and Lisa's body to keep her standing. Lisa moved back to the front of her face, staring into her eyes for a second, before giving her a slow, close-mouthed kiss on the lips.

She pulled away, and there was a look that Jennie had never seen before on her face - a mix of pain, uncertainty, longing, relief...but also something soft and ethereal that Jennie couldn't quite recognize.

"God, I missed you so much, Jennie," she whispered, and Jennie felt tingly down to her fingertips.

"I...me too," Jennie echoed, but she couldn't continue looking Lisa in the eyes, blushing at her admission and the whole situation.

"Are you feeling, okay?" Lisa asked, her voice suddenly morphing into a tone of concern. "Did you drink too much?"

Jennie chuckled a bit awkwardly. "Hah...I only had, like, one beer."

"I was really surprised that you drank," Lisa commented quietly. "What made you decide to?"

Jennie slowly looked up, revelling in the taller girl's beautiful green eyes once more. "I just...felt like a loser. I never try to just...let loose and have fun, I guess. Maybe I thought that's why..."

Jennie lowered her head once more, suddenly feeling close to crying.

"Maybe that's why...we broke up," Jennie whispered.

"Because I'm just afraid to let myself go and start enjoying life again. And I was worried you'd start hating me for it... when I thought about how much not-fun I must be, I just grabbed a beer. Stupid...I know."

"Jennie," Lisa breathed, putting her finger under Jennie's chin to gently lift it. She laughed, a bit breathless, but the quiet sound warmed Jennie's heart. "How could that be? The most fun I've ever had has been with you."

Jennie just stared at her, unable to speak, her eyes growing damp. Her heart throbbed with reassurance after hopelessly believing that Lisa had moved on and left her behind.

Leaning in, their heated kiss continued, teeth sometimes clashing in the renewed desperation.

Jennie threw her arms around Lisa's shoulders, Lisa gripping Jennie's waist tighter, pressing their bodies as close as physically possible.

Jennie flinched and gasped when she felt Lisa move a knee between her thighs, one of her hands trailing to the smaller girl's lower back and then farther down.

Things were moving unexpectedly fast, but Jennie couldn't seem to help herself getting caught up in the flow. A fire burned inside of her, one that had started as only a spark long ago and erupted into a full-blown inferno at that moment. The only thing she wanted, the only thing on her mind, was Lisa.

One of the blonde's hands started sneaking up Jennie's sweater, and the latter almost yelped at the touch of her palm on bare skin. They were almost certainly getting too out of control now, but the two of them were still under the alcohol's spell, caught up in their newly renewed emotions.

Lisa continued to travel her hand upwards, Jennie holding her breath, but once her bra touched the blonde's fingertips, Lisa paused. She parted their lips and stared Jennie in the eyes, her own green orbs becoming focused with a new sense of clarity. She retracted, as if having just touched a hot stove.

"W-what are we doing?" she breathed, almost trembling.

Jennie held the sides of the sink behind her to prevent herself from falling to the floor. Both of them had a dishevelled appearance, and the sudden physical distance was causing Jennie to sober up a little as well.

"Being stupid," Jennie breathed out, still coming off of her high from all of the touching and closeness.

"Fuck, Jennie... we're drunk, we can't be doing this," Lisa said, seeming to suddenly become agitated. Her hands tangled in her hair as a million thoughts seemed to be going through her mind. Jennie thought it must've been overwhelming her.

"What are you saying?" Jennie asked, a little dazed.

"Shit," Lisa said. Before Jennie could reach out and grab her, the tall girl flew out of the bathroom and was gone.

Suddenly overcome with emotion, Jennie slowly slid down the side of the sink until she was sitting on the floor. Tears pricked from her eyes.

"Fuck..."