Chapter 51

Jennie found herself struggling to stay awake during the ride to school on Monday morning.

Naturally, she'd been kept awake all night worrying about having to see Lisa. In fact, throughout the entire weekend, ever since Lisa ran out of the bathroom that Friday night, Jennie had been worrying.

She was still struggling to believe that their encounter wasn't just some troubling dream. But based on all the worried texts from Jisoo she'd been getting all weekend, it was likely a very real event.

Plus, she could still recall the touch of Lisa's lips in astonishing detail, the feel of their bodies flush together against a bathroom sink.

Jennie frowned at the memory as she leaned her head against the window of Nayeon's car.

"Are you doing all right, Jennie?" Nayeon asked, taking a second to glance at her before returning her gaze back to the road.

Jennie hadn't told anyone about what happened between her and Lisa that night. Nayeon and Irene didn't even know she went to a party. It wasn't that the honour student was trying to hide it from her best friends - she just had yet to sort out the incident herself. It was like a flurry of scenes and emotions racked around in Jennie's brain whenever she remembered that night.

"I'm just thinking through some stuff," Jennie replied vaguely. "I promise I'll tell you about it later."

Nayeon paused for a second, seeming unsatisfied. But eventually, she gave in.

"Alright."

---

The day, which usually drudged along at a gruelling pace, went by in a flash and it was suddenly time for the sixth period that Jennie had been dreading for three days. She seriously considered ditching, but she figured that doing so would just launch another period of awkwardness and tension between her and Lisa.

She couldn't run away from this. The intensity of her feelings that night was enough to convince her that they needed to do something. Jennie was exhausted from being on bad terms with a girl who she so clearly had feelings for. It was embarrassing to admit these things, but they were also undeniable based on how much Jennie wanted to repeat the events of the party.

She couldn't deny even feeling a sense of superiority.

Lisa had chosen her that night instead of Sydney, and Jennie couldn't help but do the same for her.

When she noticed how different she felt about Owen, a genuinely good guy who would be perfectly suited for Jennie, compared to Lisa, well...

How could she deny her feelings?

They had to do something about this. The make-out session in the bathroom breached a line, the point of no return. Even if Jennie had to study ten-fold to figure out a relationship with Lisa, so be it.

But, well, all of that was easier said than done as anxiety washed over Jennie, standing in front of Mr. Morrison's classroom door. She had stayed a little after for her previous class since they were finishing a test, so she'd arrived at sixth period later than she normally would. Lisa would almost certainly be in there by now.

Fighting the urge to turn and run, Jennie took a deep breath, twisting the handle and pushing the door open.

Her eyes immediately flitted towards the opposite wall where her, Jisoo, and Lisa's desks were located.

She saw Jisoo's pretty blonde form, receiving a wave from the girl in question.

But the seat beside her was empty.

What? Where is she? She should be here by now, right?

Jennie swallowed her surprise and walked over to sit in her desk, the one right next to the wall.

"There you are, Jennie," Jisoo greeted cheerfully. "I thought I'd be the only one today! Usually, I'm the one who ditches."

Jennie responded with a confused look. "The one who ditches? Did Lisa actually ditch?"

"Well, she must've," Jisoo replied, looking thoughtful. "I saw her outside with her friends during lunch, so I know she's here today."

The information aroused a spectrum of emotions in Jennie - first, a knee-jerk feeling of relief that she wouldn't have to confront the awkwardness of seeing Lisa again. It was followed by disappointment at the fact that Lisa was obviously avoiding her.

And finally, there was an eruption of anger that the blonde was chickening out and jeopardizing their relationship again by doing so.

Is she ever going to grow up? Jennie thought furiously. Is she going to pretend nothing happened and just avoid me? Did she even care about it in the first place?

Jisoo's smile morphed into an uncharacteristic frown.

"Are you mad about that?"

Before Jennie could come up with a reply, Mr. Morrison quieted the class to begin the lecture.

Jennie seethed in her chair, trying her best to overcome her sense of hurt with her usual inferno of anger. In reality, she was deeply upset with Lisa's actions. Maybe she didn't want to talk it over.

Maybe she didn't want to work things out between them.

Maybe she thought they were better as they were before the party.

---

Unfortunately, the ditching wasn't a onetime thing.

Lisa ditched every class during the first half of the week, and Jennie was starting to resign herself to defeat. She debated whether or not to just initiate herself, to arrange a meeting where they could talk.

But she hesitated since the last time they did that ended with a massive fight.

Plus, admittedly, she still held onto her pride. If Lisa was going to blatantly ignore what happened, then it was a clear enough message that she wasn't interested in revisiting it. That was fine with Jennie.

Just fine...

The problem was, there was another section of the group project due the following Monday. Lisa had access to some project materials that were vital to the work, so Jennie couldn't exactly leave her out. Plus, Jisoo wouldn't let her anyway.

Jennie was unsure of what to do until Wednesday when she got a text from Jisoo stating that they could meet up the following day after school. The cheerleader was uncharacteristically matter-of-factin her message and didn't mention whether or not Lisa would be there as well. So, when Jennie headed to the library after school on Thursday, she wasn't sure what to expect.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the door to the study room they rented out once again for the project.

And there she was.

The tall blonde sat at the table alone, her project material already laid out in front of her. As if she'd been there for a little while longer than Jennie would've expected.

Jennie swallowed thickly, nervous about seeing the girl for the first time since their sloppy make out in Jisoo's bathroom. Her body tingled with anxiety, but also with a sense of giddiness and longing. The feeling was familiar, but she hadn't felt it in a long time.

How long would it take to get rid of this feeling for the second time? Jennie thought.

Trying to hold herself together, she quietly moved to the side of the table opposite of Lisa and set down her things. She knew she should probably stay quiet until Jisoo arrived, but instinct got the better of Jennie.

"Haven't seen you around in a while," she commented.

Peeking through her eyelashes at the other girl, Lisa sat quietly, her hands fidgeting. She seemed understandably uncomfortable, but also in a way that made her seem like she wanted to say something important.

However, all she said was, "I guess so."

Bristling at the nonchalant response, Jennie held it inside of her and sat down in her chair. She didn't want to start a fight. Not now, anyway.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, the door opened to reveal the third member of their group.

"Ah, sorry guys," Jisoo huffed, walking over to sit beside Jennie (to the honour student's dismay). "I forgot we were meeting today."

Strange considering that Jisoo was the one who arranged the meeting in the first place. But it wasn't entirely out of character for the air-headed blonde.

In spite of the palpable tension in the room, Jisoo ignored it, and the three started work on the assignment. Things were starting to flesh out with project since it was already almost spring break.

Everyone had gotten familiar with the topic and what everyone's role was to be during the brunt of the work production.

They surprisingly worked well as a team - Lisa was knowledgeable about sociological concepts, Jennie was adept at organizing and following the grading rubric, and Jisoo was good at bringing the different parts together for the finished project. Admittedly, Jennie hadn't expected Jisoo to be so useful - as much as she hated to admit it, the girl was smarter than she appeared.

A lot of progress was made on the visual presentation before Jisoo pulled up her phone and looked at the time.

"Ah, crap, it's time for practice," she said, standing up to collect her things.

"I'm sorry for always doing this, guys."

"Hey, your sport's important too," Lisa said with an understanding shrug.

Jennie would hesitate calling Jisoo's cheerleading a sport, but the blonde having to leave early wasn't a new occurrence. It always marked the end of the meeting - naturally, Lisa and Jennie would leave the study room as well and call it a day.

And Jennie was preparing to do that once Jisoo left the room. But Lisa cleared her throat, her cheeks red, not making any movement to put her notebooks away.

"Well...we still didn't finish the first part of the discussion slide," Lisa stated, wringing her hands and not really meeting Jennie's eyes.

"Do you think we should stay and work a little longer? I-I mean, if you don't have other plans or anything."

Jennie blinked, caught off guard by the suggestion.

She hadn't even expected Lisa to show up for the meeting, much less offer to stay late. The honour student felt frustrated when the gesture warmed her heart ever so slightly.

"Uh, I guess that'd be useful," she replied, quieter than usual.

So, they stayed, talking over some key points to include in the slides, comparing notes and sections of the textbooks. The studious Jennie found herself forgetting about the tension surrounding her and her ex-girlfriend, instead focused on the project at hand

Her organized nature kicked in, and the two girls worked together like a well-oiled machine.

The session had become so focused that Jennie didn't even think twice about walking over to Lisa's side of the table to point something out about a diagram that the blonde sketched out in her notebook. She sat down beside the other girl, ignoring their proximity and its implications, instead focusing on her finger gliding across the page to illustrate key points.

Finally, they reached a decent stopping point, having planned out the entire slide. All they needed to do was flesh it out in words when the project progressed a bit further.

"Ah, well I feel a lot better about this now," Lisa sighed. She seemed surprisingly stressed about the project, as if she'd been neglecting it.

Well, Jennie kind of had been too.

"I agree," Jennie replied. "I didn't really know where to go with the topic discussion, but I feel like a lot of people will relate to some of the concepts."

"I feel the same way. Actually, in a way, it reminded me of you a bit-" Lisa cut herself off, as if she regretted suddenly making the topic personal. After all, it brought the focus back to them as people instead of them as members of a group in a high school class.

It was treading on thin ice, but Jennie couldn't help herself. She was intrigued by the fact that Lisa was thinking of her at a time like this.

"How so?" she prodded.

"Ah, well," Lisa scratched her face in her typical style of indicating shyness.

"The Thomas Theorem is kind of about acting like how people label you. It kinda reminded me of how everyone expects you to be a know-it-all...ah, sorry, that was a little direct, I guess."

"No, no, you're right," Jennie said with a sigh.

"But I kind of feel like I put the label on myself more than anyone else."

"Well, still, thinking of yourself like that might've caused you to act that way even more."

"I suppose that makes sense," Jennie agreed, genuinely intrigued by the notion.

"It also reminds me of your situation, too."

"How so?"

"Well, you said your mom and sister kind of conform to this ideal," she explained, trying to properly word her thoughts. "So, it kind of makes you an outcast. Maybe that made you want to be different from them?"

"You're right...growing up, I didn't even think I could pretend to be successful like them," Lisa sighed. "I always saw myself as the failure of the family."

Jennie perked up. "That's not how it is...just because you're different doesn't mean you don't have value in your family's eyes. Or...anyone else's for that matter."

It was genuinely true. Jennie had always admired Lisa's more free-spirited nature. She didn't worry so much about image or grades or how she had to do this or had to do that. She made a point to listen to her emotions and desires something Jennie really had trouble doing.

Lisa smiled, albeit shyly, at Jennie's statement.

"...thank you. I think my sister's starting to see things that way too. We had a talk the other night."

Lisa's face suddenly paled, as if she was bringing up a dangerous subject. Jennie could guess what sort of subject that might've been, just judging from the shift in the taller girl's tone.

Moving forward in the conversation would be dangerous, and perhaps a bit stupid, but the temptation was too much for Jennie's logical nature to overcome. She wanted to peel away the shell that Lisa had developed from their time apart. And she wanted her own to be peeled away as well.

"What did you talk about?" Jennie asked quietly.

Lisa looked up at her, and that's when Jennie realized that the two were closer than she had thought, unconsciously leaning into each other's spheres during the conservation.

"You," Lisa finally answered in low voice, not breaking their gaze.

Jennie swallowed; her body enveloped by a familiar sensation. Only, she didn't have the fuzzy protection of alcohol to shield her from this intensity.

"Oh?" Was all Jennie could manage.

But it was enough.

They slowly leaned closer and closer, at a pace that made Jennie's heart feel like it could stop at any moment. The room was so very quiet, and even though someone could walk right through the door and see them, such a thing was last on the honour student's mind.

Finally, they closed the distance, a distance that seemed to signify more than a physical space between them, and their lips touched.

It was nothing like the kiss in Jisoo's bathroom.

Whereas that one was rushed, hungry, and fuelled by instinct, this one was slow, deliberate, and tentative.

Initially gripped by fear of what was to come, the moment of contact sent a wave of relief throughout Jennie's body. Since the previous Friday, the brunette wanted nothing more than this, making their time apart all the more painful.

But perhaps Lisa wasn't avoiding her because she hated her. Perhaps things weren't as bad as they seemed.

Perhaps they wouldn't need to fight anymore...

They couldn't, because the feelings shared between them were undeniable when transferred through touch. It was like reading an open book, and Jennie didn't mind sharing as much as she thought she would.

The kiss didn't go deeper than soft movements.

When they parted, it was simultaneous and peaceful.

Jennie felt satiated, more so than she'd felt in a long time.

Bzzz!

The sound caused the two girls to snap out of it and jump, their foreheads parting to flash each other bewildered expressions.

Jennie took a second to realize that the sound was coming from her own pocket. She clumsily fished her phone out to peer at the screen. It was Nayeon wondering where she was.

Crap, she'd totally forgot about actually going home.

"Um, that's my ride," Jennie said awkwardly. "I've got to go."

There was a short-lived look of disappointment on Lisa's face, but Jennie couldn't be convinced it wasn't just a hopeful illusion.

"Ah...right," the tall girl breathed. Unsure of what to do or how to say goodbye, Jennie rose from her seat, gathering her bag.

"Well...uh....don't ditch class anymore, alright?"

Lisa cracked a smile at that, and the warm expression truly melted Jennie's icy heart.

"I won't."