Chapter 17

6 years ago

1 day before

Carter looked at his empty room. Everything was packed up in boxes and tomorrow, the movers would come and take everything away. Tomorrow, he would also go to the airport and leave Port Hayland. With his room being so empty, he for some reason felt empty as well. He almost couldn't believe that this was reality; that he was really leaving, probably for good. The only thing that was still there was his bed, which would also get picked up by the movers tomorrow.

"Sweetie!" Carter heard his mother calling out from downstairs. "Josh is here!"

Josh would spend the night tonight. Probably their last night together, now that Carter thought about it. He heard his footsteps on the stairs and he chewed the inside of his cheek.

"Hey..." Josh's voice sounded soft and careful. Comforting, yet sad. Carter turned to him and gave him a sad smile.

"Hey," he replied to his greet. They were supposed to have fun tonight, as their last night together, but Carter knew that that was practically impossible. He was in love with Josh, there was no denying it. And the closer tomorrow got, the more he felt like he should say it. But he couldn't. Not yet. Even though the next 24 hours would be his very last chance of admitting his feelings, he was still so very terrified.

Their last day together, Carter and Josh did everything they loved doing together. They went to the dunes, walked over the beach and sat on the docks, dipping their toes in the water while talking about everything and nothing. They got ice cream and ate it while walking through the neighborhood. Carter wished that this day would never come to an end, but time didn't and couldn't stand still.

When night fell, Carter and Josh laid in his bed, the bedroom window open and they looked at the stars together, Josh telling Carter everything he knew about the stars and constellations, and even though he had already told everything once before, Carter didn't want him to stop talking about it. He loved him. He was in love with his best friend, the boy who was laying right next to him on his bed, who he wouldn't see again for a very long time after tonight. Carter could cry at the thought again, but he didn't allow himself to do so. He wanted his last moments with Josh to be happy and carefree. Like they always were when they were together.

"What time will you be leaving tomorrow?" Josh asked softly as they laid on Carter's bed with the window now closed. Their faces were close together and Carter could feel the other's breath against his skin.

"2 PM," Carter answered. So pretty early. Minnesota is pretty far away." Josh didn't reply and closed his eyes. Carter kept looking at him and despite the darkness, he could still see his face clearly and wondered how he would react if he leaned in to kiss him right now. Though he stopped himself. He wondered what Josh would think if he knew about his thoughts. Would he hate him? Would he be disgusted? He was too afraid to know the answer, and was too happy with how they were right now.

"I will miss you so much," Carter whispered and also closed his eyes. "You're... really special to me."

A warm feeling then suddenly surrounded his hand and Carter opened his eyes just enough to see Josh's hand over his.

"You're special to me too," Josh answered softly. Carter smiled and his eyes closed again. And with all his might, he wished for tomorrow to never come.

Now

In cases like these, Carter had wished he had and older or not too younger sister who could help him with deciding what to wear to a Halloween party. He wasn't going to really dress up as something scary; he didn't have the budget nor inspiration. So he instead just decided on wearing something black and dark colored to give it a bit of a spookier feel, but he almost didn't own any dark colored clothes. His clothing style mostly consisted of light colored clothing with sometimes a grey hoodie or a dark blue shirt mixed in.

He really had no idea what to wear. Even if he wasn't even going to wear dark clothes, he still didn't know what to wear to a party. He had a few clothes sprawled out on the bed, which he thought would make a good outfit, but he still wasn't satisfied.

An idea then popped into his mind and he grabbed his phone from his nightstand to text Josh.

-Do you have any idea what to wear to the party? Because I don't.

Carter then walked to his dressed to get out another pair of clothes which formed an outfit and looked at it before deciding that he really had absolutely no idea. Not long after, his phone vibrated and he looked at the text he had received.

-Me neither, honestly. Do I really have to go?

Carter smiled at the text, already imagining Josh's lazy face when he did not want to go to a social outing.

-Yes you have to go. I'll even kidnap you if I have to. He texted back

Another vibration followed mere seconds later.

-Ha. I'd like to see you try

Carter's fingers quickly typed the reply before looking back at the outfits again.

-Don't test me, Marson.

-Don't get ahead of yourself, Raymore.

-I'll get as far ahead as I want to, Marson.

-We'll see about that, Raymore.

-Shut it. I'll drag your ass all over the coast if you don't show up at 8, Marson.

-Fine then. See you at 8, Raymore.

-Fine, Marson.

-Fine, Raymore.

Carter caught himself smiling like mad at their ridiculous conversation and put his phone down on his bed again. Maybe he could borrow a black button-up shirt from his father. Even though he was a little shorter and skinnier than his father, he had fitted on one of his button-up shirts before, and it fitted pretty well.

When evening came around, Carter was satisfied enough with what he wore, and decided to brush his hair back to give it a little bit of a dracula feel to it. He had never done his hair like that before, and actually ended up just playing with his hair with the gel still in, giving himself all sorts of odd hairstyles.

When it was around 8 PM, the doorbell rang and Carter had almost forgotten about the time. He quickly made his hair normal again and rushed downstairs, grabbing his jacket and opening the door. Upon opening it, he saw Josh standing in front of him and he almost instantly gave him that playful smile again when their eyes met.

"You're actually wearing dark clothes. Impressive," he said, still smiling.

Carter felt that feeling within his stomach again and cleared his throat. "Yeah, it's my dad's. I was really out of ideas."

"Is that... Josh?" Mrs. Raymore's voice was heard. Carter turned around to see his mother walking up to the two boys. "Josh! It really is you! My God, it's been ages!" she said and went to give him a hug, and Carter had almost forgotten how much his mother always liked Josh. Seeing them together again made him happy.

"It's good to see you too, Carmen," Josh said with a gentle smile after the woman had pulled away.

"You two have fun," Mrs. Raymore smiled and placed a hand on Josh's back. "But please do be careful with the alcohol and all. If anything happens, call me an I'll come pick you up right away," she told Carter.

"Mom..." Carter sighed and walked off the porch. "Nothing will happen. It won't be too late, alright?" he said and Josh went to walk next to him.

"Your mother hasn't changed at all," Josh snickered as they walked over the pavements. It was already rather dark outside but Carter felt safe with Josh next to him. He was so much taller and stronger-looking than him. But then again, almost all his male friends were taller and stronger-looking than him.

Once they had arrived at Alyssa's house, which looks out on the shore and the docks, it was obvious that they had arrived a little late. Music was already heard even from outside, and the excited chatted and chants could also be heard from inside the house.

"I thought you don't like parties like these?" Josh asked as they walked up to the door.

"I don't," Carter answered. "But I want to have fun. And I want you to have fun as well." Josh gave a glance at Carter, who looked back at him.

"You're really hopeless," Josh said and shook his head as he rang the doorbell.

"I know," Carter smiled. "But that's exactly what you like about me, right?"

Josh turned to Carter again and gave him gentle look before the door was opened.

"Carter! Josh! Welcome!" Alyssa said cheerfully, obviously already tipsy. "You're not dressed up as something, cheaters," she said and let them in. She was wearing something that looked like a witch's dress and wore a headband with a small, pointy hat on it. If Carter had been straight, he'd probably be sexually attracted to her right now.

There were all sorts of people inside who he recognized from school, but didn't know personally. Though near the counter where all the drinks were, he spotted his friends standing there and laughing with a bottle of beer in their hands. Carter motioned for Josh to follow him and they walked up to them. Paxton wore a cape and a suit, while Chris was wearing a normal white t-shirt with fake blood splattered all over it. Melanie appeared to be wearing a devil's dress and horns were stuck on her head on a headband.

"Carter! Josh! You're really here!" Melanie greeted them. "We were almost afraid you guys wouldn't show up!" she said and gave both of them a bottle of beer. Though her expression turned doubtful when she realized she had given one to Josh. "Ah, sorry. You don't need to-"

"It's fine," Josh said her and gave her a faint smile. "Just a beer can't hurt."

"Good. Don't overdo it, okay?" Melanie said before she leaned against Chris and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

Carter gave Chris a look and he reacted with a smile. It appeared Paxton's hard work had indeed been paid off.

The evening went by smoothly. Carter wasn't exactly a fan of the kind of music that was played, but he went along when his friends wanted to dance. He enjoyed seeing them have fun. And most of all, Josh was having fun as well. He wasn't sure if he had spoken with Alyssa.

After he had drank all his beer, and had danced for a while, Carter had to sit down on the couch to rest a little more. His friends were still dancing in either a silly, or sexy way, and Carter decided to just enjoy the scene in front of him for the time being. He recognized a few people from his classes between the crowd and tried to remember their names, but he eventually gave up, feeling the beer had already made him a bit bubbly. After a moment, Josh also sat down next to him with a loud sigh.

"Dancing can be fun, but also tiring," he said. Carter saw that he had only drank half his beer.

"Yeah. But it's only fun if you can do it with your friends," Carter replied. He looked around the house and saw the Halloween decorations and he had to admit that Alyssa had done a pretty good job. But then again, she was with the drama club so of course she had her knowledge about decorations.

"So... Have you made up with Alyssa?" Carter asked. "I know that you had a fight and broke up," he said.

"Alyssa told me that she had talked to you about it," Josh said and sat up a little. "We talked it out, yeah. We decided that it was best to just stay friends. I can't give her what she needs so it's better like this."

Carter looked up at Josh and bit his lip. "Why can't you give her what she needs?" he asked. "Or do I already know the answer to that question?"

Josh almost instantly looked back at Carter and didn't answer right away. His mouth moved but he wasn't giving an answer, almost as if he didn't know what to say.

Then, a ringtone noise was heard and Josh frowned before grabbing his phone from his pocket. He looked at the screen and Carter could almost see him turning pale.

"Shit... I need to go," he said and got off the couch.

Carter furrowed his eyebrows and got off as well, following Josh into the hallway. "Josh, wait," he said. "Why do you need to leave?"

"I forgot something," Josh answered. "I'm sorry I really need to leave."

"Josh!" Carter grabbed his wrist before he could open the door and looked at him. "What's going on?"

Josh looked at him for a moment and lightly shook his head. "I can't say. I just... I need to go. I'm sorry. I'm not sure if I'll come back. Just... I'm sorry." Josh rushed out of the house and Carter watched him from the door opening. Josh brought his phone to his ear and he could hear him talking to someone on the other end of the line. Carter wondered what was going on, and had the urge to come after him, but he got called back by Alyssa. Giving one last glance at Josh who walked down the hill, he closed the door behind him in confusion and just hoped everything was okay.