Sidelined Love: Chapter 20

I have no time to prepare myself for the freak out that I’m going through. It honestly never occurred to me that Levi would be here tonight. Hell, I hadn’t even thought much about it. Maybe it’s because there are so many other places in and around Crestwood he could go to or maybe I assumed he’d have to do something hockey related this evening.

The only thing I’ve been doing is lying to myself.

I don’t want to look at him, instead choosing to focus on Ben in front of me. However, Jade has no issue giving me an update. “He’s walking over here and doesn’t look happy.”

I turn my head slightly to look at her and say, “That’s not my problem, is it?” My words sound harsh leaving my lips, but I mean every word. There are a million things Levi can be unhappy about and it’s not my job to police his feelings.

“It’s not, but your night is about to get a whole lot more interesting, if I had to guess,” Jade replies.

I don’t like that she’s probably right, but I refuse to acknowledge it. I take another sip of my drink and give the man already in front of me a small smile.

“So, Ben, did you already get something to drink?” There, I can also do my darndest to shift the conversation into a different direction.

“I did. It’s at my friend’s table.”

As Ben answers my question, I’m half paying attention to his response. But I’m on edge from the fact that Levi is walking over here, and it is hard to focus on anything else.

Good thing he comes over and is standing between Jade and Ben.

“Hailey, Jade,” he says. “It’s good to see you both again.”

The moment Levi’s gaze locks with mine, I feel like a deer caught in the headlights. I hate that it takes me several seconds to look away because my body is in flight or fight mode, and I can’t turn it off.

I clear my throat, trying to stop the butterflies that are dancing in my stomach.

“Levi,” I manage to say amid my struggle to maintain an aura of indifference. “What are you doing here?”

Levi chuckles, his eyes never leaving mine. “Here with some of my teammates. We thought we’d go out and grab a drink.”

He gestures toward a group of guys that have now settled in a corner of the bar. I look over at them and recognize a couple of faces before Levi sticks his hand out.

“I’m Levi,” he says to Ben, who quickly returns his handshake. Although Levi’s words are polite and showcase the golden-boy, hockey-captain image that he has built, there’s something lingering under the surface. It’s not lost on me that the tone of his voice is different from the one I usually hear him use or that it’s directed at the only other guy here.

I try to keep my expression neutral as the two men exchange introductions, but on the inside, my heart is threatening to leave my chest.

Part of me is happy to have Levi here, especially while I continue to explore what I’m feeling as a result of my session with Dr. Shaw. My gut tells me the vibe I’m getting from him is that this is a pissing contest, but I can’t tell if I’m overthinking things again.

“Nice to meet you, Levi,” Ben answers, his voice cool and collected. His neutral tone eases the tension slightly, but it’s still there. “Great game you guys had a few days ago.”

Who doesn’t know Levi at this point?

“Thanks. I can’t complain too much,” Levi answers Ben, but his gaze is on me.

We all stand there quietly for a few seconds before Ben clears his throat. “Listen, I should get back to my friends. I’ll see you at work, Hailey?”

I give a quick nod. “Yes, I’ll see you there.”

I watch as Ben gives a polite nod to Levi and Jade before turning and walking back to his group. And then there were three.

Jade glances between Levi and me, a knowing smile playing on her lips. “Well, this is cozy,” she says.

I shoot her a warning look, telepathically telling her not to say anything weird. As much as I love Jade, her playful meddling is the last thing I need right now.

Levi either doesn’t notice the subtle exchange or opts to ignore it. His gaze remains fixed on me. “It’s good to see you, Hailey,” he says. “You look beautiful tonight.”

There are butterflies in my stomach again because of the compliment. I smooth my hands over the red dress self-consciously. “Thanks,” I reply, aiming for a casual, indifferent tone and failing miserably.

Jade hides her smile behind her glass as she takes a sip. The silence stretches for a beat too long. I rack my brain for something else to say that won’t be strange.

“So… how’s the season going so far?” I ask Levi.

He relaxes a bit at the mundane question. “It’s going well so I can’t complain. Just trying to keep the momentum going.”

I nod along, hoping he doesn’t notice how panicky I feel. I’m painfully aware of his eyes on me, and the only thing keeping my hands from shaking is my holding this drink.

Once again, thank you, Jade. I’m convinced she heard me thanking her because she jumps in to continue the conversation.

“I saw that you guys play WTSU in a few weeks. That’ll be a big game.”

Levi acknowledges her with a glance. “Yeah, we’re focused on preparing for that one. It’s an important matchup.” He looks back at me. “Maybe you both could come watch? I could leave tickets for you to grab.”

I freeze, unprepared for his direct invitation again. Jade’s eyes widen in excitement. “We’d love to!” she exclaims.

I shoot her another look. I hate that he’s putting me on the spot with this in front of Jade. “Levi, you know how I feel about this.”

“Yes, but I was hoping you’d change your mind.”

Jade looks between Levi and me, trying to figure out what is going on.

I take a long gulp of my drink, disappointed that I’ve finished the damn thing. “I appreciate the offer, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to come to the game. As I mentioned before, sports aren’t my thing, and my life is complicated enough right now without getting caught up in”—I gesture vaguely—“all of this.”

Before Levi can respond, a boisterous voice suddenly interrupts us.

“Hey, guys!”

We all turn to see Wilder barreling toward us, a huge grin on his face. He makes a beeline for Jade, throwing an arm around her shoulders.

“Jade! I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

Jade laughs, probably because she’s used to Wilder’s over-the-top personality due to their friendship. “Wilder, hey! Didn’t realize this was your type of bar.”

He grins. “Had to make an appearance here. Couldn’t miss out on Sapphire’s famous Thursday specials.”

His eyes drift over to Levi and me. “Oh hey, Hailey. Fancy seeing you here.” He tosses a wink my way.

I roll my eyes because I swear Wilder and Jade are working together to make something happen between Levi and me. Speaking of, Levi stands up a little straighter, his jaw tightening. I can’t deny that I find his reaction interesting and a turn on.

Maybe I have had too much to drink. Nah, that’s not possible because I’ve only had one.

“So!” Jade says brightly, breaking the silence. “Who’s up for another round? These drinks won’t order themselves.”

“I’ll come with,” Wilder says. “Anyone else want anything?”

If Wilder hadn’t offered to go, I would have in order to get some space away from Levi. Instead, we both decline. I need a minute to process everything and with him standing here, I know I’m not going to get it. As they head to the bar, Levi turns to me.

“Sorry about that. I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable with the invitation.”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

I shift my weight from one foot to the other, trying to find something to say or an excuse to get the hell out of here.

Levi’s gaze lingers on me as he reaches out toward me, only hesitating for a second before gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. His touch sends a shiver down my spine. “Hailey,” he begins, his voice low and serious. “Did you wear your hair down for me?”

“Excuse me?” His question completely takes me by surprise. There is no way I heard him right.

“First of all, the last thing I would do is change my appearance for anyone, let alone you. Second of all, are you trying to piss me off? Do you get off on me being mean to you?”

He takes a step toward me and leans into whisper, “That’s one of many things about you that gets me off, Rook.”

I can’t believe he said that. “You’ve got some fucking nerve,” I say back at him. “Move out of my way.”

Without waiting for a response or for him to move because I don’t trust what he might say to that, I brush past him and head down a hallway straight for the bathroom, my heart beating a mile a minute and cheeks on fire.

When I lock myself in a bathroom stall, I lean my head against the cool wall, trying to breathe. What the hell had just happened?

I’m irritated at Levi for throwing me off balance like that but also irritated with myself for reacting so strongly. Not only did he piss me off, but he also made me want to tear his clothes off, all in one short statement. I let him get under my skin and then I ran to the bathroom of all places.

Smooth, Hailey. Really smooth.

Once I calm myself down, I unlock the bathroom stall and wash my hands. The desire to throw water on my face to cool my heated skin is there, but I’d mess up my makeup if I did so. Instead, I’m left hoping the water on my hands will help settle the chaos in my stomach. It doesn’t.

With my hands dried off, I reapply my lipstick and take a look at myself in the mirror. I still look the same, although my cheeks are looking slightly more flushed. After spending a few more seconds attempting to regain my composure, I leave the bathroom.

I step out into the dark-blue-tinted hallway feeling calm, but that is short-lived. I freeze in place when I see Levi standing just a few feet away with his back leaning against the wall. He’s watching me like a hawk. Before I can move away, he closes the gap between us and firmly places one hand on my arm, pushing me against the wall. Before I can blink, his other arm is situated above my head, caging me in with his body.

“What do you want?” I ask, not sure if I really want to know the answer.

“I can answer that question in many different ways.”

“Why are you standing so fucking close to me?”

“Because I need to fucking kiss you,” he says in a way that I can’t quite describe. His blue eyes are locked onto mine, as if he’s trying to decipher every thought running through my mind. “Tell me that I can kiss you.”

I try to come up with a snarky remark to hide my nerves, to hide the way I’m loving being in his arms. But I’m at a loss for words for the first time in what feels like forever. I allow my body to take over instead of my mind and give him a single nod. I’d be lying to myself if I denied I wanted the opportunity presented in front of me. I nod my head quickly and before I can utter a word, his lips are on mine.

As his lips press against mine, all coherent thoughts vanish from my brain. Hell, I swear I forget my own name temporarily. I gasp at the feel of his warm lips, and for a moment, I can’t breathe. It’s like he’s stealing my air, but there’s nothing I want more than this. His hand moves from my arm and slides to the back of my head, cradling it gently as he deepens the kiss.

Our connection goes from gently exploring this new feeling to being hungry for one another in a split second. My hands land on his chest and grip the fabric laying across it. His shirt is nothing but a thin layer standing between us that I’m tempted to rip apart so that my fingertips can touch him, skin to skin.

It’s then that I become more aware of where his other hand has gone. It dances along my collarbone before drifting lower to my waist where he pulls our bodies closer to each other. His touch is featherlight, yet it ignites a fire within me I can’t ignore.

I melt into him as he removes the space between us. His hand inches upward, and at this point, I don’t care if he’s bringing the dress with him, exposing my panties along the way. When his hand reaches its final destination, my breast, my back arches into his touch, wishing that this would never end.

It feels so natural being with him like this, yet wrong at the same time. When his thumb runs across my nipple through the fabric of the dress, it’s as if I’m being thrown into a pool filled with ice water. This little bubble that we are in bursts, and in my mind, everything crashes down around me. I’m slightly disoriented when we break apart. “No,” I shake my head. “This—’ I hesitate, my voice thick with emotion. ‘This can’t happen.’

Anyone could have walked up and seen what we were doing. They still can for that matter. The fight or flight instinct within me ramps up again, and I need to get out of here.

Although it’s somewhat dark in this hallway, I can see my smeared lipstick all over his face. I can only guess what the state of my face is, but none of it matters.

I wipe at my mouth, my hands shaking, and push past him as I stumble toward the main area of the bar. I don’t look back because I don’t want to know if Levi is following me.

When I finally reach Jade and Wilder, who are staring at me as if I’ve grown another head, Jade takes one look at my face and her eyes widen. “Whoa, what happened to you?”

“Nothing. I need to go,” I manage to say.

“Hailey? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I say, allowing the lie to fall from my lips. “I just want to go home.”

Jade looks between me and Wilder before responding. “Okay let’s head back home,” she insists quickly.

I look over at Wilder momentarily and see Levi over his shoulder, walking toward us, but Wilder’s next words force me to focus on him again. “I’ll pay for your drinks. Just go.”

Without another word, Jade and I leave together. From where we were standing to the front door, I can feel Levi’s gaze burning a hole into my back.

But I never look back.