Du bist anders

"Du bist anders" - AnnenMayKanteriet

🎵 Frag ich dich nochmal und du sagst nichts / Weil du mir nicht alles sagst / frag ist dich nochmal und du sagst nichts / Aber ich seh' was in deinem Gesicht 🎵

SLAM!

The loud slamming of a door jolted me awake, making me shoot up in my bed. My heart racing from such a sudden noise, I looked all around my room for some stupid reason, feeling childish as my nerves were on edge. It was most likely Emilia rushing around the house as she got ready for our flight back home to Canada.

Yawning, I stretched my arms over my head before I hopped out of bed.

"Wha—?" my voice trailed off as soon as my bare feet landed on something soft.

Alaric's house had hardwood flooring, which was nice and allowed the floor heaters to work a lot better. Therefore, I was really confused when the soles of my feet landed on felt. Looking down, I cocked my eyebrow at the blue blanket and lonely pillow that was on my floor, looking like a makeshift bed. I didn't recognize them, but I also knew that when Alaric's friends had moved our stuff, they'd also been nice enough to include a few gifts that would help us feel more at home. These included flowers for Emilia, cookware for Dad, and some Pokémon action figures for me. Maybe they'd also given us some bedding that I hadn't noticed before? I've been told that I'm a thrasher when I sleep, therefore, it made sense that some of my bedding would wind up on my floor.

I picked up the blanket and pillow, confused at how warm they were. Whatever. I tossed them back onto the bed, and went to getting ready for my flight home.

I showered, brushed my teeth, and got dressed in some cozy jeans and a sweater because I'd be stuck wearing them for ten-plus hours in the same seat, *shudder. I really hate flying. Still, there was definitely some pep in my step as I went to gathering up all my things so that I could leave this place as soon as possible.

I rolled my suitcase downstairs, letting the plastic wheels smack loudly against each step as I descended.

From the window, I could see Dad's car in the driveway. I'd been asleep when he and Alaric had returned from their awesome trip to Cologne while I'd been stuck at home with Emilia (who'd of course ditched me) and Dominik. I frowned and placed my suitcase right next to the front door so that I could snatch it up as soon as it was time to head to the airport. The thing with international flights is that passengers are expected to arrive at least three hours before their flight is due to take off thanks to all of the security lines we have to wait in.

Speaking of, I did a quick pat down on myself to make sure that I had everything I needed: my phone was in my right pocket, and my velcro wallet with a sewn-on patch of Pompompurin was in my left.

I headed back upstairs to grab my rabbit backpack that had my inhaler in it, along with my passport. It rested on the now-empty dresser in my new bedroom, and when I snatched it up to open it, I furrowed my brow in confusion as I dug through it.

My inhaler was there, but I couldn't find my passport.

But I did find something else though.

"What?" I wondered aloud again as I reached in and pulled out the tiny little plastic circle that was in my backpack. It was roughly the size of a toonie and it had the Apple logo on the front of it. When I held it up to the light, the logo shimmered with a rainbow effect. The backside was all silver-colored with a teeny tiny serial number etched into it. Sometimes I would pick up little "treasures" off the ground whenever I was in the city, thinking of them as little keepsakes. However, I did not even remotely remember picking up this little plastic-covered coin.

Shrugging, I placed the coin onto the dresser and shoved my charged Switch into my backpack before zipping it shut.

After putting it on, I frantically opened up every dresser drawer in search of my passport. I usually left it at home so that I wouldn't lose it, but I really needed it now or else I won't be allowed on the plane! Or I'll be turned around at Customs once I arrive in Canada!

My heart began to race in my chest as I tore my new room around, searching up and down for that small navy blue booklet with the gold emblem of a maple leaf on the cover. I looked in the dresser, under the bed, in the closet— but it was nowhere to be found!

"Dad!" I called out as I hurried out of my bedroom. "Have you seen my passport?"

There was a low sigh from the other side of his bedroom door down the hall. "Max," he grunted, "you better find that passport or your mom's gonna kill me."

"I looked all over my room for it," I shrugged, despite a wooden door separating us. "I can't find it."

"Where did you last see it?" he grilled, and I heard some shuffling around as he leapt out of bed.

I tried to think back to the last time I'd held that little passport in my clutches. "Um," I mumbled, unable to pinpoint the exact time, "well, I remember I had it when I went through Customs here."

My dad just groaned.

Emilia exited her room, shooting me a glare. "If we miss our flight," she sneered, "I will kill you. Slowly."

I trembled under her heated gaze. "O-okay," I stuttered, my heart skipping a beat. My sister, love her to death, can be really scary sometimes.

Thudding footsteps sounded out, like they were running towards us with a mission. Dominik's bedroom door that was at the end of the hallway burst open, and the edgy teen lumbered out. He was clad in just some gray plaid pajama pants, his bare chest on display. There were some significant signs of muscle on his chest, and I could vaguely make little wisps of hairs starting to grow on his pectorals. Dominik's yellow eyes were narrowed, and there were some dark circles under them, making it look like he'd had a rough night.

"What's with all the yelling?" he grunted, shooting his own glare at my sister.

Emilia, being the girlboss she is, squared her shoulders and gave him one of her own glares. Instead of any sort of witty remark, she stomped her way past him to go downstairs, leaving me alone with Dominik.

The other guy awkwardly stood there in silence as he scratched at the back of his neck. "So," he mumbled in his deep, sleepy voice, "you can't find your passport?"

I silently shook my head. I knew for a fact that I hadn't lost it in Nordwestmecklenburg because I hadn't had to use it once there. Therefore, Dominik wouldn't really know where it was. Plus, I really didn't want to ask him for help at all, given the headache that I immediately got as soon as he was within my personal bubble. The dude stank like teen boy B.O., and I took a wide step away from him... and he took a larger step closer to me.

Whatever. I didn't have time to deal with his weird attitude/actions. I needed to leave for Cologne/Bonn International Airport in a little less than an hour. Therefore, I needed to focus all of my mental faculties on finding my passport, not trying to decipher Dominik in general.

"Yeah," I sighed, "so I'm gonna go look for it now."

I turned around and started to head back to my new bedroom so that I could give it one more look over. Maybe in my panic, my eyes had totally overlooked it? It'd be just like whenever I'd ask Mom where the TV remote was, and she'd always seemed to make it manifest out of thin air.

Dominik, Lord only knows why, followed me to my bedroom.

I began to rip open every single drawer in the dresser, examining all four corners of the box before slamming it shut. I was having no luck at all, and the whole time I searched my bedroom, Dominik stood in front of the doorway. He kept his arms crossed in front of his bare chest, watching as I looked all over.

"So," Dominik mumbled, clicking his tongue in thought, "what happens exactly if you cannot find your passport?"

That would suck ass. "Um," I huffed as I dropped down on all fours to slide my hand underneath the small crevice between the dresser and the floor, feeling nothing except for dust bunnies, "I probably won't be allowed to board the plane."

Looking over my shoulder, I could see that Dominik wore a big smirk... that disappeared as soon as our eyes met. Ugh, weird.

He shrugged his broad shoulders, trying his best to look at anything in my room besides my worried expression. "Well," he muttered, "Deutschland has really good schools."

"There's schools in Canada, too," I countered, crawling over towards the bed so that I could search underneath it. There were a few unpacked cardboard boxes, mainly stuffed with some bedding from Dad's old house. I shifted those around, using the flashlight on my phone to search for my lost passport.

Dominik let out a loud sigh and his footsteps thudded over towards the bed. He dropped down onto his knees with a slam, and crawled underneath the bed to help me search.

Or, I thought that was what he was going to do.

Instead, Dominik just scowled in the dark as I shuffled the boxes around, pouting to himself for some reason. I shined the light over at him, his yellow eyes reflecting it eerily.

"Wanna help me look?" I huffed, not truly wanting him to help me, but I was getting desperate.

My new bed was decently sized, a lot bigger than the one back at Dad's old house. I think it was meant for an adult, given how wide it was and perhaps it was a hand-me-down from one of Alaric's friends. It was awfully nice of them. That being said, there was a lot of room under it. However, whereas I could fit my entire small body under the bed, only the top half of Dominik's body was concealed in the shadows underneath the frame. Plus, thanks to the large number of cardboard boxes, there wasn't too much room to wiggle around.

Hence, Dominik and I were practically shoulder to shoulder underneath the bed. He was so close that I could feel his hot breath waft over my face as he breathed, and his large muscles seemed to tense up.

"You know," he began again, his voice slow like he was thinking as he spoke, "you could live here year-round with me— *cough, your father." Even in the dark shadows under the bed, I could still see some blush forming on the teenager's face.

"What about my sister?" I piped up as I lifted up the last box, disappointed when I didn't see my passport there either.

"She has her passport, so she can go," Dominik grunted, even rolling his eyes.

Why would I want to stay in Germany if my sister, who is the closest thing I have to a best friend, wouldn't? Sure, I love Dad, but he has Alaric now. If Emilia went back to Canada and I stayed here, then I'd feel even more alone than normal. Dad would be too busy with his new man, and my sister would be on a whole 'nother continent! No way, José!

Eww, plus, that'd mean that it'd just be me and Dominik for a good chunk of the time. Sure, I loathed the thought of being alone, but even that wasn't as bad as being with someone who thought so little of me.

I didn't say anything more to Dominik, and instead crawled out from under the bed, taking time to dust off my clothes so that I still looked nice and presentable for my flight. Speaking of which, time was ticking, and I needed to find my passport fast.

My panic was starting to really seep in, and I frantically began to wonder what I could possibly do to get on the plane. The thought of being stuck in this lonely place was enough to fill me with anxiety, and I clung on tighter to my rabbit backpack just in case I'd need a puff of my inhaler.

Alaric walked by my room and poked his head in. "Any luck?" he asked me.

I shook my head, feeling so stupid for losing such an important document. Damn it, why can't I be better?!

Alaric paused and sniffed at the air... like a dog. What the hell does Dad see in him? His smile morphed into a frown and he glared down at his son who crawled out from under my bed.

Dominik's yellow eyes went wide in response and he held up his hands in surrender. "W-wait—" he began to stutter, but Alaric held a large hand up, effectively silencing him.

"Gib ihm seinen Reisepass," he said, his voice low and demanding. I didn't know what he said, but the way Dominik's shoulders fell indicated that it was something bad, I think.

"Ja," Dominik spat, standing up and stomping his feet as he left the room.

Alaric tried to look angry, but his scowl fell and was quickly replaced by a sad frown. He looked back over at me, offering a small smile. "Max, can you do me a favor?"

"What?" I asked, wondering what on earth this guy could want from me. Shoot, he already took my dad.

Still wearing that little, hopeful smile, the large lumberjack ran a nervous hand through his thick hair. "When you get back to Canada," he said, keeping his voice low like a whisper, "could you please call Dominik from time to time?"

I jerked back in surprise. Why would he ask me to call Dominik? The guy didn't even like me! I was a nobody to him, hence why would I waist my time calling him? Plus, he had his friends to keep him busy if he ever felt the littlest semblance of loneliness. He had Sibylle and those three guys from the wedding. Clearly, he was cool with them, which was why they'd all turned on me. Jerks.

Not wanting to start off on the wrong foot with my new step-dad, I just nodded. "I'll think about it," I coughed, my face already growing red from my lie.

Hell no, I'm not thinking about it because I've already decided to have zero contact with the dude as soon as I'm home. Meh, it was probably just Alaric trying to keep the peace within the newly formed family. It makes sense, I guess. But still, no. I'm not calling Dominik.

"Thank you, Max, really," Alaric smiled, like genuinely smiled. I could tell my false answer meant a lot to him because he even reached up and placed a hand over his heart with relief. Oops.

"...yeah." My face burned even hotter.

Before either of us could say anything more, Dominik stomped angrily back into my room. He was scowling, as per usual, and when he shoved his way past his Alaric, he glared up at him.

"Here," Dominik growled as he tossed my passport at me.

I didn't catch it and it fell to the floor in front of my feet. I quickly picked it up and pocketed it, looking up at Dominik with wide eyes.

"Wh-where was it?" I gasped in shock.

Like always, that pinkish hue formed on Dominik's face and he looked away from me. "Don't worry about it," he spat. "I found it, that's what you wanted, right?"

Alaric pinched the skin above his nose and sighed. "Gott..." he groaned loudly.

Dominik's fists were clenched tightly, and he seemed to grind his teeth angrily as he stared out the window. Little raindrops were starting to splatter across it as grey clouds moved in, making the outside world look all dark and gloomy.

I don't know if it's just teen angst or a Dominik thing, but the dude has some serious issues.

Even Alaric looked uncomfortable as he watched his son seemingly pout. He shuffled his feet and reached up to put a comforting hand on his son's shoulder, but Dominik let out a little rumble, and Alaric quickly dropped his hand.

I don't know what it was, but something out the window caught Dominik's eye. He tensed up and leaned closer to the glass, smirking a little bit before bolting out of the room.

"Right, um," Alaric mumbled, looking just as lost as I was, "again, I would really appreciate it if you check up on Dominik from time to time." With that, he left my room, leaving me behind to consider what he'd said.

I really don't know the exact reason as to why Alaric wanted me and Dominik to stay in contact with one another. I mean, the most logical explanation would be him trying to forge a family dynamic. If that's true, then he must've asked Emilia to keep in contact with him too, which even I knew she wouldn't. Dominik and her didn't really seem to get along. Dominik seemed to glare at her a lot, and I bet that he was imagining several different ways he could kill her. I couldn't get too mad, because I knew for a fact that Emilia was thinking about how she could rip his balls off whenever she sneered in his direction. The two of them seemed to always stare daggers at one another. However, Dominik seemed to hatefully glare at everyone in the general vicinity.

Well, except for me.

Sure Dominik has glared at me and there were times in which I'd believed that he'd shoot laser beams out of his eyes and into my forehead. Yet, I've also been one of the select few to have ever seen him smile my way too.

I frowned as I thought everything over.

Sure Dominik may have smiled at me, but he also sneered my way and looked at me with such disgust written all over his face that he made me feel gross. I'll never forget that.

I exited my room and skipped down the stairs, taking two at a time. When I was downstairs, I saw Dad in the kitchen, sipping at his morning coffee. He looked up at me, a sad smile on his face.

"Ready to go?" he asked me, looking all bummed out that I'd be leaving soon.

In response to his tone, Alaric wrapped both of his large arms around him and hugged him tightly. Ugh.

"Yes," I flatly said, heading towards the front door. I grabbed the handle on my suitcase and snatched the keys off the hook by the door, making my way outside so that I could throw my stuff into the car. I pressed the unlock button on the fob and moved towards the trunk when I gasped loudly at what I saw.

Both of the rear wheels on Dad's car were flat.

The more I stared in shock at them, the more I could see the slash marks in the black rubber. I knelt down closer to the flat tires, running my finger over the jagged slashes in them. Shoot, if I didn't know any better, I would've guessed that someone had actually slashed Dad's tires with a knife. My heart began to race in my chest as I selfishly began to worry about how I'd get the airport if my dad didn't have a car. Sure, he had the spare tire in the trunk, but there was only one of those!

"Dad!" I called out, cupping my hands around my mouth so that my voice could project better. "Someone slashed your tires!"

I could hear the loud clanking of dishes being dropped as Dad and Alaric made their way to the front door, both of their eyes wide in shock as they saw my Dad's useless car.

"That's a shame," Dominik's deep voice said, startling me because I hadn't noticed him nearby.

I looked over at him as he walked up to me, going so far as to wrap an arm around my thin shoulders, keeping me close to his warm body which did kinda feel good in the cold drizzle outside. He wore a shit-eating smirk, his chest puffed out with pride.

"There's no way you'll make it to the airport," he commented, trying to sound disappointed, but his smile was still wide and humongous all over his face. "I guess you have to stay here... we'll call a taxi for Emilia though."

Seriously, why was I running into issue after issue?

Dad and Alaric rushed up, and Dad panicked as he looked over the damage to his car. "Wh-what the hell?" he freaked out, his face going ghostly white.

Dominik continued to smile, at least until Alaric smacked the back of his head.

"Don't worry, Babe," Alaric told my dad, "you can drive my van to the airport. In the meantime, Dominik here will be kind enough to replace both of your tires." He narrowed his yellow eyes down at his son with that last part.

Dominik's smile was all gone, and he was scowling once more. "Scheiße," he snarled before stomping away towards the garage, where I assume the car tools were.

Emilia came outside and we loaded up our bags into the back of Alaric's van. We both said our goodbyes to Alaric, giving him a standard one-arm hug.

Just as I was about to hop into the van, Alaric cleared his throat, his eyebrows furrowed together. "Max?" he asked, placing a large hand onto my small shoulder, stopping me from getting inside. That allowed Emilia just enough time to sneak forward and take the front seat from me.

"Hmm?" I asked, trying not to let my irritation show.

Alaric offered me a small smile which was framed by his beard. "Would you mind saying 'Goodbye' to Dominik?" he asked. "Please?"

Why?!

I was literally standing right in front of the van that would take me to the airport and away from this horrible place where I always felt like an outsider, and Dominik was partly to blame for that! And now, all of a sudden, his dad wants me to be all nice and give my farewells to him? What did I do in my past life that was so awful?

Before I could answer, Dad looked over at me from his spot in the driver's seat. "Make it quick, Max," he told me. "We have get going."

I just nodded, pursing my lips into a thin line.

Not wanting to get drenched in the rain, I ran all the way to the open garage, spotting Dominik at the far back. He was shuffling through a metal cabinet, the sounds of tools clanging against each other ringing out as he searched for whatever he'd need to fix Dad's car.

His broad back was to me, and since he still wasn't wearing a shirt, I could see how each powerful muscle flexed and moved as he looked through the cabinet. He paused as soon as I entered, and there was a low rumble.

"What?" he barked, refusing to turn around to look at me. His voice was sharp and booming, sounding as if I were causing a great inconvenience by coming up to him.

Well, damn. It wasn't my idea!

"Um," I mumbled, nervously twirling my fingers in front of myself. I was all the way inside the garage now, out of sight of everyone else, so if Dominik decided to kill me right now, no one would be able to see it happen. "We're going to leave now."

Dominik was silent, but he stopped searching through the cabinet. The light tapping of the rain falling onto the pavement filtered in through the tiny garage, creating a constant hum.

He loudly sighed, his broad shoulders rising and falling with the motion.

I shuffled my feet in place, unsure of what to say exactly. It was crystal clear that the teenager before me was not my biggest fan, he'd made sure to let me know that. However, I'd be lying if I'd said that there wasn't a tiny, microscopic part of me that was a little sad to be leaving Germany. I'll miss the food, I guess.

"Bye," I whispered, not quite knowing what else to tell him.

There, I told him goodbye. That should make Alaric happy. Now I can return to Vancouver knowing that I did everything right.

That annoying hole in my chest was as prominent as ever, tearing through my body at a rapid pace and leaving nothing but bits and pieces behind. My heart hurt, and I felt so incredibly cold in the garage, the wind whirring by like a howl.

I turned around, my tennis shoes scraping against the pavement as I spun.

"Wait..." Dominik choked out, making me freeze in place.

I kept my back to him, mimicking his childishness. I wanted to leave, and I knew that going home was the right thing to do— no matter how big that hole in my chest was. No matter how cold my heart felt, I knew that the smart thing to do would be to go home. I didn't like being here. I didn't like the way I felt here.

I didn't like the way Dominik made me feel.

But I also liked the way Dominik made me feel sometimes, like when we'd danced and when we'd hung out together on the pier.

But I also didn't like how he'd stomped down on all the fun we'd had.

It was confusing, and my head began to ache. I didn't want to turn around and look at him because I didn't want to feel even more conflicted. I don't like the guy, but I couldn't get him out of my head. And that pissed me off. I wanted to think about something else— anything else in the world, to distract myself from the how he'd made me cry by referring to me as a nobody; or how betrayed I'd felt over that. But why did I feel betrayed in the first place? We were nothing significant to each other.

Still, I steeled my body and forced myself to look outside the garage at the driveway that was all wet from the rain.

"Mein Hase," Dominik breathed, making me wince because he sounded a lot closer now, like he was directly behind me.

"Hmm?" I hummed.

The heat from Dominik's body radiated off of him in waves, warming me up in the process. He was so close that when I swayed back the tiniest bit, I could feel his larger body brush up against me.

It sounded like a wounded puppy whimpered from somewhere, but before I could wonder where it was or even go to look for it, I felt Dominik place his large hand on my shoulder.

"If I asked you to stay here," he breathed, leaning down to whisper in my ear, making the small hairs on the back of my neck stand up, "would you?"

What? What does that even mean? Well, of course I understand the question, but why would he ask me that?

All my confused brain seemed to be able to focus on was that hateful glare that Dominik had given me that night at the wedding when he'd turned his back on me and had made me cry. The hole in my chest grew in size and intensity, making me wince.

"I..." I trailed off, my voice drying up in my throat. My brain told me not to stay here. My conscience told me not to stay here. If I'd asked Emilia, she'd tell me not to stay here.

But my heart—

The horn from the van blared, letting me know that I needed to hurry up.

Dominik grabbed me by the shoulders and turned me around so that I was forced to stare up at his face. When I looked at him, I had to hold back my shocked gasp when I saw that his eyes looked a little irritated, with pink on the white parts. His lips were pulled into a deep frown, but they twitched as he forced a smile onto his face. His fists held on tightly to my sweater, keeping me locked in his grasp.

"Mein Hase," he breathed, his voice low as it cracked, "stay here... with me."

My voice was gone. I didn't know what to say as I stared up at Dominik's hopeful face. He forced a large smile on, his canine teeth poking out over his lips as his brow was scrunched up in anticipation.

That stupid hole in my chest started to feel a little better. I mean, if I did stay here in Germany year round, then who knows? I could potentially love it here, and maybe Dad and I will become close again. And then maybe Alaric will be a great step-dad and even he and I will have a nice bond and do tons of fun stuff together. And then Dominik—

"He's nobody. He's my dad's husband's kid, and I was only hanging out with him because he looked so sad and lonely. That's it!"

The hole stopped shrinking, and it went straight back to growing.

I locked eyes with Dominik, seeing some sort of emotion that I had difficulty placing. I didn't want him to hurt me again, and I mentally visualized myself setting up thick concrete blocks between the two of us to protect myself. Sure Dominik had done a lot of nice things for me, but he'd also successfully torn me down.

"Nein," I told him, making sure to decline in German so that he understood me perfectly.

Dominik's smile fell in a snap, but his scowl didn't come back. Instead, he let go of my sweater, letting his arms fall back to his side where they dangled lifelessly. His Adam's apple quivered, and he cleared his throat, looking away from me as he sniffled a little bit.

"Fine," he sighed. "Have a safe flight."

He stomped back over towards the cabinet, throwing the door open with such force that it flung off its hinges and clattered to the ground loudly, making me flinch.

That hole in my chest consumed all of my torso by now, sucking in all of my organs and leaving me feeling disgustingly empty. And it was so unbearably cold outside, and I had to wrap my puny arms around myself in order to feel any sort of warmth at all. My fingers were almost numb from frostbite, and I finally turned my back to Dominik again to rush back over to the van to go home.

I scurried across the wet lawn and opened up the door.

"It's about time!" Emilia scoffed from the front seat.

I didn't have any comeback, so I just climbed inside the van. I grabbed onto the handle on the door to close it shut when I hesitated.

Instinctually, and without fully knowing why, I looked back over my shoulder towards Alaric's house.

Dominik was standing in the entryway of the garage, his arms crossed in front of his chest as he scowled in the direction of the van. Even from across the lawn, I could see that when our eyes met, he tensed up.

I turned my head back around and closed the van door. Dad pressed on the gas pedal and we began to drive down the road towards the airport.

Once more, I looked out of the window at Alaric's house, seeing that Dominik was gone now. As we drove further away, the wind blowing around the van sounded almost like a wolf's howl.