Sag das Zauberwort

"Sag das Zauberwort" - Anime Allstars

🎵 Sag das Zauberwort / Und du hast die Macht / Halt den Mondstein fest / Und spür die Kraft / Du kannst es tun 🎵

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[One Year Later]

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"Max! Emilia!" Mom called out from the living room.

I stopped typing away on my laptop so that I could head out of my bedroom to see what she wanted. I just hope that it wasn't to unload the dishwasher... again. That chore never ends! Can't we just buy new dishes?

I walked down the hallway, having to dodge a clawed swing from Beyoncé's paws as she tried to swipe at me. I have no idea why she's been a terror lately, but it really sucks to have to fear a cat in my own damn apartment! Seriously, she always hisses at me, will go psycho if we're ever in the same room, and she never lets me pet her anymore.

And it's not just her, but it's like every cat in Canada doesn't want a single thing to do with me at all! I have no idea what the hell's up with everyone else (I can't be the problem... right?), but whenever I'm walking to the bus stop, all of the cats in the city hiss at me. They'll do that weird, eerie meow that's all deep and throaty, arching their backs as their hair stands straight up, looking like a Halloween decoration instead of a cute pet. At least all of the dogs in the neighborhood didn't try to get all aggressive with me. Instead, they all seemed to take one sniff in my direction and cower away, trembling as if I were the one with sharp claws and big teeth.

Keeping in with the tradition of feeling all alone, it wasn't just animals who seemed to want nothing to do with me.

Emilia was busy doing things with all of her friends after school, so I barely ever got to see her. I'm nowhere near close to being considered "Popular", therefore, I tended to have acquaintances more than friends. Sure, I had some people who I could sit with at lunch and chitchat with during class, but once the bell rang, I never heard from them. I'd walk to the bus stop, ride the bus to the apartment, and then spend the rest of my day (and the entire weekend) all by myself in my bedroom. Mom worked long, crazy hours at her job so she was almost never home. Kyle was only interested in just hanging out with my mom, often times forgetting my name and referring to me as "His Chick's Kid".

At the end of the day, though, all of these people ditching/ignoring me was just because they were busy with their own lives. They were too caught up in being fabulous and employed and in relationships to remember little ol' Maxie. Hence, I couldn't really hold it against them. I mean, it wasn't like they'd avoided me out of sheer hatred.

Still, I seemed to be sinking deeper and deeper into the blackness of loneliness, and it was getting hard to claw my way out.

It sucked, plain and simple. I used to think that people were truly social creatures, but now I realize that maybe that was just a saying which held no merit whatsoever. At least in my case, people tended to prefer to be left one-hundred percent alone.

I'd lost count of all the times I'd asked Emilia if I could hang out with her and her friends while they'd gossiped in the living room, only to be told to fuck off. I couldn't recount every time Mom's lucrative job had resulted in her being unable to come to any of my school events... or even to remember to pick me up from soccer practice (I'd wound up quitting because my ride situation wasn't stable). And truth be told, I don't even know if Kyle knows my name. Not only that, but it was becoming a sickening routine of me sitting at my desk on Friday, hearing my classmates make plans for the weekend or even for the upcoming breaks, only for me to sit there with a hopeful grin on my face or even throwing out a "I love [insert topic]!" Then they'd just shrug me off, indicating that I wasn't wanted. Shit, even my math tutor was a no show last week!

Is it me? Is it something that I'm doing?

What kind of malfunction do I possess that's turning people (and cats) away from me?

I just wish I was better. Like, in general. I have no idea what's wrong with me, but I hope I manage to fix it soon or else I'll be facing a lifetime plagued with loneliness.

There had to be something that I could do to fix myself, someway to change myself to make me attractive to others. I have no idea what that could be, and often times I'd look all around for some kind of clue. As of now, though, all I had to emulate was Emilia.

I love my sister to pieces, and she's very popular. She always has something to do every weekend. And every so often, she goes out on a date with a new guy (without telling her boyfriend, Patrick). She has waves of people wanting to just be close to her, and truth be told, I was getting a little jealous.

Hmm, maybe if I try to act like my big sister, then some of her charisma will transfer over to me? Mom would always tell me to be myself in order to win over true friends— but that's a load of bullshit. I've been doing that for the past ten years, and it's gotten me absolutely nothing.

I tried hard not to think about it as I entered the living room where Mom sat on the couch, her MacBook on her lap. When she saw me and Emilia, she peered over her glasses as she turned the screen around.

"I'm looking for some plane tickets for you two," Mom explained.

Oh yeah, summer break was starting next month. That meant that we'd be shipped off to Germany to spend the next couple of months with Dad and his new family.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, that shadow of loneliness ate me up, leaving no crumbs.

There's a nine hour time difference between BC and Germany, so it wasn't like I could just pick up the phone and call Dad whenever I wanted to. However, on the rare chances when it wasn't a school night and I stayed up really late just to call him, he'd almost never answered. That, or he'd keep our conversations really short. The reason? Alaric. The two lovebirds were still glued to the hip and despite me being on a separate continent, I might as well have been on a different planet with how little my father talked to me.

I could say that it is what it is, but the deep frown on my face gave my irritated attitude away.

That was something even worse: I could feel myself starting to grow angry.

There were only so many times I could call my dad, only to hear Alaric's voicemail instructing me to leave my name and number in German. There were only so many times I could excitedly tell Dad about my A+ on my spelling test or about how I'd gotten second place at the science fair, only to hear Alaric's deep voice in the background; and that was soon followed by Dad saying that he had to leave before hanging up.

As childish as it may seem, the common factor in Dad's absence seemed to be Alaric, which began to plant a seed of extreme dislike for him inside of my brain. It has started to get to the point where, on the sparse occasions in which Dad would be able to talk, he'd sometimes ask me if I'd like to say "Hi" to Alaric, to which I'd point blankly respond with, "No." It always got kinda awkward after that, and Dad would tell me to be nice. Or there was this one time when I'd called, and Alaric had been the one to answer, so I'd just hung up without a word.

Emilia had called me ruthless, and it'd made me smile a little.

With all of that being said, the thought of having to fly to Germany for the summer didn't spark that sense of joy within me that it used to. Instead, it caused my heart to drop to the floor and my shoulders to slump over. Oh God, no.

Emilia took a step closer, examining all of the fight choices, pursing her glossy lips in thought. "Eww," she sneered at some of the choices. "Are there no direct flights?"

Mom shook her head. "Not if I wanna save two-hundred dollars."

The whole time they talked about plane tickets, I was lost in my head as I mulled over the facts in front of me. It really felt like Dad didn't want to see me, and there was a growing, resentful part of me that didn't want to see his new family. Dad and Alaric came as a packaged duo, so I knew that there wasn't one without the other. Sure, Mom spent a lot of her free time with Kyle, but at least that scenario wasn't such a slap in the face. I love Mom and Dad equally, but everyone knows that kids tend to feel closer to one the tiniest bit more; and Dad was my best friend! And now he'd not.

My chest hurt, that pit that had formed last summer never having healed. Instead, I just tried to learn how to deal with it. Yet, the thought of flying back to Germany where it had all begun was making it hurt even more than usual.

"...what do you think, Maxie?" Mom asked, looking over at me.

I snapped out of my daze and stared at the options on the webpage, seeing the multiple flights that would take us to Cologne Bonn International Airport where I'd feel so (much more) low and useless for three whole months.

"I don't want to go," I heard myself say before the thought had fully formed in my brain.

The second the words left my lips, that hole in my chest throbbed with such intense pain that I could feel my eyes starting to glisten a little bit. No matter how badly I wanted to see Dad, I was scared that he didn't want to see me. And I knew that the pit in my chest was from loneliness, and if I could ask Dad to help me heal it, then I'd try to fix it myself... or I'd at least try not to let it get any bigger.

Mom frowned, her trimmed eyebrows knitting together. She took off her glasses and set them down onto the coffee table in front of her. "You don't want to see your dad this summer?" she asked, and I could already hear that concern dripping in her voice.

Even Emilia gasped since I usually talked nonstop about going Germany to hang out with Dad.

Not wanting my voice to crack when I answered, I just shook my head.

My mother sighed and set the laptop down onto the coffee table next to her glasses. She patted the couch cushion next to her, and I shuffled my feet slowly over to her before taking the offered seat.

She looked up at my sister. "Can you give us a moment?" she asked.

Emilia scoffed. "No way," she said, sitting down on the cushion that was on my other side. She placed a manicured hand on my shoulder, and the way the living room lamp's light hit the plastic jewels on her nails made them sparkle.

Mom ignored her and continued to stare me down with one of her signature mother looks that tried to see through my skull in order to gauge how my brain's working.

I tried my best to avoid her stare, attempting to look at anything else in the apartment besides her eyes. I decided to focus my attention out the window that was overlooking the Pacific Ocean, spotting what I think was a sailboat off in the far distance. The whole time, I dwindled my fingers on my lap.

"Maximilian Cristobal," Mom said, using my whole first and middle name, letting me know that she meant business, "it's important for you to see your dad. He loves you a lot, and I would hate to have you miss out on time with him."

He doesn't seem to mind.

I knew that Mom, being the peacemaker that she always likes to tell people she is, would not accept my real excuse as to why I didn't want to go to Germany. If she found out that I was feeling lonely at Dad's house, then she'd dial him up in a second and bitch him out to no end. Their fighting would be a horrible reliving of how they'd been before getting divorced: screaming matches on the daily and blaming the other for every single issue. Plus, if I told Mom that I also felt lonely here in her place, she'd phone up Dad and yell at him for making her place subpar. Yeah, I'll pass on both of those.

"Well," I mumbled, trying to think up a lie, "I really wanted to hang out with my friends this summer." God, please don't let her ask for their names. I can't think that quickly on the spot!

Mom scrunched up her face in confusion, most likely not believing that I have friends. Sad, but true. "You never told me before that you wanted to hang out with your friends here before," she frowned.

Okay, she was taking the bait. I figured that now that I had her hooked, I might as well reel her in with some more.

"I mean, yeah it's nice to see Dad, but he lives all the way in Germany. So I never get to see my friends during the summer and just be a kid because I have to fly away." I'd heard Emilia telling that to one of her boyfriends, and although I'd never been annoyed about going to Germany before personally, I suppose I could see her point.

In fact, I could feel my sister tense up by my side. "Maxie, I'm still going to go," she said. "You can hang out with me and Sofia, if you want?"

She's said that many times before, so I knew that it was an empty promise meant to just make me feel better in the moment. She'd take it back the second our feet touch German soil.

I shook my head. "No thank you," I huffed. "I just... I don't wanna go this summer."

It's eerie how well my mother can read me; however, instead of calling me out on my crap, she pursed her lips and nodded. "As long as it's your own decision that you've made," she relented.

That hole in my chest felt so gaping and freezing cold, and I briefly worried that it was black hole that was sucking up all of my inner organs and shredding them to little bits of paper... and my heart would be devoured any minute now. Still, I held onto hope that by me staying in Canada for the summer, that it'd prevent the black hole from growing in size. At least it made sense in my head.

"But," Mom added, holding up her finger to me, "you need to be the one to tell your father."

Normally, the thought of having to break such heart wrenching news to my father would've made my palms sweaty and my breathing all wheezy. However, the guy never answers his phone, so I just needed to leave a voicemail that said that I wouldn't be coming. Simple. And Clean (hehe).

"Alrighty," I said, getting off the couch and walking into the kitchen to use the house phone since my phone was still having a system update. As soon as I picked up the phone and dialed Dad's house number, I waited for the inevitable voicemail that would ask me to leave a message.

"Stubbe," a deep voice answered after about two seconds of ringing. Oops.

And wait... the voice was deep and manly, so I knew that it wasn't my father's. It also wasn't Alaric's because it lacked any sense of joy in life, and instead it was drenched in what could only be described as extreme disdain for the general world and all who inhabit it...

*Gasp! Oh no!

Dominik!

Instantly, all of the blood drained from my face over the fact that I hadn't spoken to the dude since I'd left Germany. He'd tried to contact me when I'd gotten home, but I'd blocked his number. After that, he and I were in a no-contact situation with one another. It was nice, in my opinion. After all, who would want to waste their time and energy with someone who thought so little of them? Sure, Dominik had been a total jerk about a year ago, but it's hard to forget having someone who I thought was my friend voice out the worst insecurity I had: That I'm a nobody.

"Uhh," I stalled, trying to think up something to say to the guy after ghosting him. I hope he doesn't remember me, seeing as how I mean so little to him—

"Mein Hase?" Dominik breathed, an odd sense of urgency in his voice. "Is that you?"

I winced at the odd nickname he insisted on using for me. Whatever. "Yeah," I mumbled. "Is my dad there?"

"Why didn't you answer any of my calls or messages?" Dominik grilled, completely ignoring my question. There was a scratchy, almost growl-y quality to his voice.

"I was busy."

"For a whole year?"

"...yeah."

A deep rumble echoed on the other line, sounding a lot like a dog's growl. Maybe Alaric had gotten a dog? "I guess we'll have to discuss that more when you're here," Dominik huffed, and I could envision him speaking through his clenched, sharp teeth. "Speaking of, when do you come home?"

Come home? I already was home. I shrugged it off. "My sister should be there in about one month," I informed him. "School lets out soon—"

"I don't give a fuck about Emma," Dominik scoffed.

"It's Emilia," I corrected, getting defensive as I tried my best to defend my mean girl sister's honor. Sadly, she's the closest thing I have to a best friend.

There was silence on the other end, and I know for a damn fact that Dominik was scowling at the phone. I almost giggled at the mental image of the edge lord baring his teeth angrily at the corded phone that was in Alaric's kitchen, trying to stare intimidatingly at it like he does to other people.

"Well, that's why I need to talk to my dad," I tried to explain.

I think Dominik must've stepped on the new dog's paw or something, because there was a loud yelp on the other end of the phone. "Talk about what?" Dominik urged.

"Is he not home?"

Another growl.

"Then can you take a message for him?" I asked, already over this phone call. I mean, damn, I haven't spoken to Dominik for almost a year and he was still that annoying, bossy dude that he was the day I'd left. Talk about no self-improvement.

Dominik sharply exhaled. "What is it?" he asked.

For some strange reason, I could feel the hole in my chest aching even more as I spoke to Dominik— maybe it was a sign that he's no good. I mean, he'd made it start to shrink that one time at the wedding when we'd danced together, but now that I was telling him that I wouldn't be going to Germany this year, it caused me a lot of pain. I winced a little.

"Can you tell him that I'm actually going to be staying in Canada this summer—"

"What?!" Dominik oh-so rudely interrupted. "Why?"

If I already told my mom a lie, then logic dictates that I tell everybody the same exact lie so that I don't have to worry about remembering what I told who. "I'm going to be spending the summer with my friends here," I fibbed, still feeling my face grow warm with my lie. Wow, I need to get better at lying.

Dominik stepped on the poor puppy again as another yelp sounded out, this one louder and much more broken. Maybe I should call German Animal Services?

"B-but it's been a year since I've seen you— *cough, since you've seen your father," Dominik hurriedly pointed out.

Why was he so worried about Dad? "I'll see him next year," I countered. Besides, there's also FaceTime... if he would answer my damn calls!

Dominik's breathing grew labored. "No..."

"Huh?"

"No!" Dominik roared, much more forcefully this time. "You have to come."

I felt myself smirk. "You have to buy me dinner first."

A third growl rumbled out. Okay, so maybe Dominik doesn't understand a little thing called humor. Shame.

"Max," he growled, his voice deep and insistent like he was going to tell me something that could potentially save my life, "you have to come to Deutschland this summer. I... I just— it'll be easier for me to tell you face-to-face."

Oh? So he was going to tell me something important after all?

"What is it?" I wondered.

I might as well have asked the douche to explain some super hard math equation to me because he tripped over his words. "W-well it's just that I'm... I'm a were— scheiße! You just have to come home. I'm ordering you as your future Leitwolf."

"My future what?" I gasped. What does Leitwolf even mean?

This young man is certified insane! For real, he carries a government issued ID that says Cray Cray, or however you say that in German, on it in big bold letters. Besides that though, who the hell does he think he is trying to order me around like he owns me?

"Who the frick are you to tell me what to do?" I snapped, even moving my head from side to side like I've seen sassy people do on TV. I think it helped prove my point and I just wished that Dominik could've seen. Maybe I could ask Mom to fly me out to Bedburg just so that I could tell Dominik off, and then immediately fly back to Vancouver. Shoot, if the flights were too close together, I could just get a taxi to drive me by Alaric's house, and I'll just roll down the window and shout "Bitch!" at the top of my lungs. It's the perfect plan, and money well spent, in my opinion.

Dominik growled for the billionth time in the last five minutes. "I already answered that, Hase," he snarled, anger dripping all over his words. "I told you that you're coming home. Now are you going to listen, or do I have to fly all the way over there and carry you onto the plane myself?"

He wouldn't do that... right? Even though I haven't seen him in a while, I would put some serious money down that Dominik is still way taller and stronger than me. Therefore, the dude could easily throw me over his shoulder and force me onto the plane. And Emilia, God bless her, would probably let him because she'd be too busy trying to score a free drink from the airport bartender!

"You can't afford that," I hoped, praying that Dominik wouldn't have the spare cash to fly all they way here just to prove a point. I knew I said I'd do it, but I hope that he won't!

"Want to test me, Hase?" he snarled, his voice sounding eerily deep and menacing.

I couldn't help but shudder a little bit, despite being thousands of kilometers away from the guy. Shoot, at first, I hadn't wanted to go to Germany because I hadn't wanted to feel that agonizing loneliness again. However, now I can say with absolute certainty that I don't want to go because I don't want to see Dominik.

The guy's creepy.

"I'm not coming," I said again, trying to add more oomph to my voice, "...bitch."

Was it mature? No. Did it feel good? Yes.

Before Dominik could say anything more on the matter, I hung up.