Junge

"Junge" - Die Ärtze

🎵Nie kommst du nach Hause / Soviel schlechter Umgang / Wir werden dich enterben / Wo soll das alles enden / Wir machen uns doch Sorgen / Und du warst so ein süßes Kind🎵

[Dominik POV]

The train rumbled on back to Bedburg. The swaying motions of the car as it gently moved along was relaxing enough that even I had trouble keeping my eyes open. The sun had already set, shrouding all of the cabins in complete darkness; and it was overcast outside, so there was no moonlight to illuminate a single thing.

Thanks to my werewolf sight, I could still clearly make out Max's sleeping form on the seat across from mine. The talkative human was finally silent, and as he slept on his side, he was tiny enough so that he only had to bend his legs by a minor degree in order to fit all the way on the double seat. He used his backpack that was in the shape of ein Hase as a pillow; and he was still wrapped up in my hoodie, my scent emanating off of him in waves.

So cute... my inner wolf mused.

I crossed my arms over my chest, grunting in response. I could feel my jaw clench in irritation, and despite how cute my inner wolf thinks the boy resting in front of us is, I had to remind myself that Max is a boy after all.

And he has the most beautiful green eyes too, my inner wolf added, and I could envision his tail wagging.

Yeah, he really does; but already, I can only imagine what Oma will say if she finds out that I, uh, that I— fuck, I can't even say it.

Last night, when Dad had had that ceremonial dinner to announce that Paul was his mate, I'd met Max: a.k.a. My World. In that mere millisecond our eyes had connected, I'd felt like the earth beneath my feet had been ripped away. My breath had gotten caught in my throat, and instead of the irritation I'd felt that day, all I could do was stare in awe at how precious my boy had looked. It was as if every single neuron in my body had been rewired in that instant, changing so that my number one mission in life was now to ensure that Max was happy. I hadn't even been aware of his existence that morning, but that night, he'd become my everything.

My hands tightened into fists so tightly that the stinging stench of copper flickered into the air, and I had to relax my hold to allow my palms to heal up.

My father is the Leitwolf, or Alpha, of the Stubbe Wolfsrudel/Pack. Our territory encompasses all of the town of Bedburg, including the surrounding forest. His rank demands respect among the other wolves in our pack, and they all admire him; and some of the older members say that he's an even nicer Alpha than Opa was (but they say that in hushed whispers). Regardless, it's hard not to notice the eyes full of love and respect that the wolves in the Stubbe Pack have for my father, and it had initially made me look forward to whenever he decides to pass the rank onto me; and I know for a fact that I'll be the next Alpha because our pack passes the title down to the firstborn male. I'm an only child, so it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that the next Leitwolf will be Alpha Dominik Stubbe. It really has a nice ring to it.

"It's a shame that we don't have a more manly Alpha," Oma had told me one day when I was younger, her characteristic sneer scribbled all over her withered face. Her yellow eyes had been pointed towards Dad as he'd sipped at his tea, but he hadn't heard her.

"What do you mean, Oma?" I'd asked, wondering why she'd said such a thing about Dad, given that he'd been the only Alpha I'd ever known. I'd never met my Opa since he'd passed before I'd been born.

Oma had shrugged her shoulders while tucking a silver strand of hair behind her ear. "Oh, don't worry about it, Dominik," she'd reassured me, placing her free hand on my small shoulder. "It's just my son seems to like boys as much as he likes girls." The frown that had been deep on her face had let me know that this was supposedly something really, really horrible.

However, given that I'd been, I think, seven years old when she'd said that, I hadn't quite understood exactly what Oma had meant by my father's likes being so terrible.

At least, I hadn't until I'd grown older.

My eyes traveled back towards the sleeping boy in front of me, the boy who smelt like sweet sugary Zuckerwatte. The boy who smiles so widely that it shows off all of his teeth, but there's a little gap near the back top left where he'd lost a tooth. The boy who, when he laughs, I swear to God that the sun somehow shines brighter...

It took me a second to notice that I was smiling my own wide, goofy grin the longer I looked at Max.

"Scheiße," I growled, forcing myself to frown again. I even bit down on my tongue to prevent that stupid grin from reappearing, no matter how cute my boy looked.

*Cough, I mean, I guess some people would find Max cute. Oh, and he's not my boy, per se... but if anyone else tries to stake a claim, they're going to deal with me. Especially, grrr, Felix.

Oh, and it's not because I have a claim on Max or anything... um, it's, uh, it's because h-he's the son of my future Luna. Y-yeah, that's it. He'll eventually be a part of the Stubbe Pack because Dad's mate is his father, Paul.

That's it.

Sure it is, my inner wolf scoffed.

I tried to ignore him, forcing myself to look back outside at the dark nighttime scene. We were getting closer to Bedburg because more trees were starting to come into view. And even through the nighttime blackness, I could see that the leaves were starting to lose their green, beginning to change into yellows and oranges.

Summer was almost over.

Summer was almost over, which means that Max will go back to Canada soon.

"Grrr..." I bellowed out, flinching and slapping a hand over my mouth so that I wouldn't wake up my boy with my stupid growling.

Max still slept peacefully, his face smooth and completely peaceful.

My inner wolf whimpered at the fact that Max lives across the Atlantic Ocean. I have no clue where Vancouver is in Canada, but I just hope that it's closer to me than farther away... um, for unspecified reasons.

I don't know much about Max's home life. All I know is that his parents aren't together, like mine. However, whereas I've never met my mother (and truth be told, I couldn't care less... kind of), Max obviously knows his. And for some annoying reason, she doesn't live here in Deutschland, but instead lives all the way in Canada.

The fuck does Canada have that I don't? I crossed my arms back over my chest and fought back a jealous growl.

I shoved that feeling down, trying to analyze the situation. Paul, Max's dad and my dad's mate, has Max and... um, Max's sister, over during the summer months. They fly over from Canada, and I think their summer is similar to that of the States', so it's probably June through August. That means, that since Max is only nine, then I have to wait nine more years of only seeing my boy three months out of the year.

Fuck!

I grabbed at my hair in frustration over the onslaught of emotions that were crashing down on me all at once.

I was happy that my father finally found his mate, I was annoyed that Oma didn't approve because his mate is a male, I was irritated that the soon-to-be Luna of our pack had human children so we'd have to be careful with our werewolf status, I was annoyed that the soon-to-be Luna's daughter was a stuck up bitch, and I hesitant to form any sort of connection with the soon-to-be Luna's admirable son.

And that brought on even more:

I was over the moon that I finally found him; I was terrified of how he'd see me; I was hopeful that we'd get to be together forever and that he'd let me take care of him; I was basking in the glow that spending the day in Nordwestmecklenburg with him gave me; I was so insanely jealous over the thought of Felix forming any sort of bond with him; I was angry that I was forbidden from telling him that I'm a werewolf until I get permission from Alpha/Dad; I was ecstatic that he wore my hoodie and that he was covered in my scent; I felt so incredibly guilty that I had my phone this entire time and just took advantage of the situation presented to me; I felt impatient over finding another opportunity to spend more quality time together: just him and me; I was in awe at how cute he was; I was left frozen in pure admiration at how beautiful his smile is; I felt a sick satisfaction over referring to him as "Mine"; I was feeling so vulnerable over how small he makes me feel; I felt an overwhelming urge to be a better man for him; I was horrified over how I'd act during the full moon now that he's here; I was so deeply sad over the fact that he would be flying back to Canada soon; and I was so desperately in love with him.

And above all: I was so ashamed that he's a he.

I'd been afraid that my mate would be a guy ever since I'd started noticing guys in that certain way. Based off the judgmental glares from Oma and some of the other members of the Pack, I knew that it was something horrible for the Alpha to be a man and to have his Luna be a man too. And I'd heard some of the wolves my age making little jokes here and there when Dad had met Paul, which was why I hadn't wanted to go to the ceremonial dinner the other night. I didn't want to hear all of the disparaging remarks about my father and have some of my fellow pack members view him in a different light just because Paul is a guy.

And now because as fate would have it, I'm paired up with a guy too, so those same remarks and hateful looks will transfer over to me.

I already have to deal with all of the bullshit regarding being a halfling, seeing as how my dad's a werewolf but my mom's a human. I can overhear some of the other wolves snickering and saying that I don't deserve my Alpha status because I'm not a real wolf. But I still carry the Alpha gene, so whenever I phase and kick their asses, my wolf is significantly bigger and stronger than theirs. And unfortunately, that's become a recurring event in the Stubbe Pack: someone will run their mouth, and then I'll have to put them in check. Of course I still hear whisperings here and there from people trying to gossip about me and my sexuality, but most of the time, they remain silent out of fear that I'll beat them to a pulp.

There's no Beta gene, so every Alpha chooses their own and I've already selected my best friend, Sibylle, as mine. I haven't told her about Max yet, but I already know that the second I do, she'll just roll her eyes and tell me to stop being stupid with all of my apprehension over my ma... damn it, I can't even say it! She'll tell me that I'm acting foolish just because Max is a guy. Sibylle has a certain way of being really nice to the young pups in the pack, but she has no problem with calling me out on my crap. That's part of the reason why I chose her as my Beta: I know that she'll help keep me in line as an Alpha. And she's always been by my side, and she's the only one who knows my deepest, darkest secret ever: That I sorta kinda think guys are... alright.

Shit, even as I thought about it, I couldn't help but bare my teeth in disgust over how stupid I was being.

But even still...

Who would respect their almighty Alpha if he is head over heels in love with another guy?

—another guy who makes my heart skip a beat whenever I look at him, and whose voice is the sweetest love song I've ever heard? A boy I longed to hold close to me at all times? A boy I'd dreamt of last night, dreaming of images of him and me, when we're older, standing hand in hand in front of gorgeously decorated altar?

And images of my pack members laughing at me interrupted my fantasy, making me snarl.

"Attention ladies and gentlemen," the loudspeaker announced in Deutsch, "we would like to welcome you to Bedburg. We would like to thank you again for selecting..."

The train's wheels squealed as the brakes were applied, the large contraption slowing down to a stop. Out the windows, I could see the pillars of the train station coming into view, meaning that my trip with Max was officially over.

My frown deepened.

"Mein Hase," I called out to my boy, giving him the cutesy nickname of My Bunny because he's so cute like a tiny little rabbit. It was ironic how the big bad werewolf of Bedburg had a cute little bunny as his... as his m... ma— damn it! I still can't say it!

My face felt as if it were on fire over my foolishness.

Max didn't stir, totally clocked out from his busy day.

I really, really hope and pray that he doesn't hate me after all of the unnecessary drama from today. Seeing the look of betrayal in his eyes as he'd thought that I'd actually left him alone at the pier hurt. I'd never, ever leave him. We'd accidentally gotten separated after a crowd of tourists had bombarded us. I'd spent hours running up and down the pier, shouting his name and sniffing at the air to see if I could catch his scent. However, when I'd gotten to the pier entrance, I'd seen the shiny metal of the bike I'd rented glistening in the water... and Felix's stench was all over it.

I hate Felix so fucking much. And I swear, if he steals my Max away from me, I'll end him in the most painful way imaginable!

I'm really glad that he'd been kicked out of our pack a while ago...

There was a low hiss that echoed out, indicating that the train had come to a full stop, which was followed by the squeaking of the automatic doors opening.

It was almost as if my body moved on its own accord, without any say so from my brain. I stood up from my seat and lumbered over towards my sleeping boy, leaning down to pick him up in my arms. I cradled his small body to my chest, holding him bridal style. He lightly snored, his head resting entirely against my pec.

Both my inner wolf and I beamed with utter jubilation over holding Max, and I wore a large giddy smile full of glee on my face as I walked through the train with Max in my grasp. Even when I became aware of the fact that I was smiling like a lovesick idiot, I couldn't wipe it from my face, going so far to enjoy the looks that I got from the other passengers as I carried my boy past them.

They could all tell that he's mine.

"Hmm..." Max sleepily mumbled, still deep in his slumber. In his sleep, he leaned closer to me, even nuzzling my chest that he was curled up against.

I had to swallow the howl of joy that threatened to erupt from me, and my inner wolf did flips of joy.

It was impossible to describe the feelings that holding my Max gave me. I was so over the moon that he was in my arms (I've had immense difficulty with restraining myself this whole trip; there'd been numerous times when I'd been tempted to scoop him up into my hold). My head was held high as I carried him, finally feeling a sort of peace never once experienced before. With Max in my arms, it was difficult to think of the annoying pack members who would make fun of me for the moon goddess pairing me with a male, and I didn't feel any of the loneliness stemmed from the stinging abandonment of my mother. All that mattered was the precious treasure in my arms, my sweet Max. Mein Hase.

I couldn't help but lean down and happily nuzzle my boy, pausing only when I heard the aww's from some teenage girls I walked past. I straightened my posture, my face tomato red with humiliation.

I walked off the train, not at all surprised that there wasn't a lot of people there. Bedburg was technically a tourist town, but it wasn't one of the popular ones, hence there weren't tons of people encroaching in on my territory. As I walked past the sparse groups of passengers on the platform, my boy in my arms, all I could think was that... this felt so right. Max in my arms felt right. Max with me felt right. Me and Max together felt right.

Max felt right.

But still, my stomach dropped at what people would think of me. The hate-filled looks of utter disgust directed towards me, the slurs slung my way behind my back, the jokes made at my expense that all alluded to the fact that I'm not a real man because my special someone is also a male.

Damn it. Why can't I be normal?

I could try to ignore the pull that Max has on me, as impossible as it seems. I can try to just be a single Alpha, which does sometimes happen. I can be a solo Alpha, without his, *cough, person by his side. Then Max will be free from the expectations and responsibilities that fall upon a Luna, and he can live his life happily in Canada, eating maple syrup and watching Degrassi or doing whatever Canadians do! I dunno, listen to Avril Lavigne? Whatever. He'll be free from me and my self-hatred, which I am hyper aware of, and of which I know will only hurt him in the end.

My frown deepened again, and a low growl emanated from my throat.

And then Max will be free to be with someone (not Bitch Felix) who won't be afraid to be the man he needs him to be. A man who won't be afraid to shout out from the rooftops that he's madly in love with Maximilian Cristobal Stubbe— oh, erm, I mean Estrada (I'd looked up his social media and we need to have a chat about his online security), and who will declare that he's his with pride, not shame.

Both my inner wolf and I whimpered in sync over the terrible fact that I'd known ever since I'd first laid eyes on Max at the ceremony: I don't deserve him.

Damn it, I really don't deserve my boy because I can still feel the fear over admitting to other people that he's mine. Even Dad, my very own Alpha, could tell that something was up; yet when he'd asked me, I'd claimed that I'd had no idea what he'd been talking about. But he knew. He's not stupid.

And I'm sure that the train station employee who was sweeping up some garbage, who saw me holding my Max close to my chest while I wore that goofy grin of utter joy just from being near my boy— yeah, I'm sure he knew too.

I'm fairly certain all of Deutschland knew that I was head over heel in love with the boy. And yet, I struggled to come to terms with it myself.

Worse of all was that I better figure something out and quick; because Max is going to leave to Canada soon... but not soon enough so as not to be here during the full moon which was just around the corner.

My inner wolf will take over, blocking me out, doing Lord knows what. I'll have zero control over my lupine instincts when he's in control of my body, snarling and clawing his way at whatever moves. I've had a few of my werewolf friends tell me that they tend to avoid me on nights of the full moon because I can be a bit too aggressive for their tastes. And with Max here, I don't know what my inner wolf will do.

I'll probably just try to court him, my inner wolf suggested. Maybe I'll act like a puppy since he thinks animals are cute? Either to taunt me or to convince me, my inner wolf made me envision myself in my human form, on all fours and barking excitedly at Max's feet.

That's even worse!

But not only was the full moon coming (and I hate to be a broken record), Max leaves for Canada soon. It's well known that werewolves, once they've found their, *ahem, m-mat— damn it, their person, it's really, REALLY hard for them if they're separated. Normally, a werewolf will just be a depressive slump, and they might be a little extra grumpier than normal.

But it's even worse for an Alpha... and I carry the Alpha gene. And my Max is going to be going soon, leaving my Alpha-self all alone without him to ground me and keep me sane.

Sometimes Alphas will be just like the regular werewolves, and be a sad sack until their love returns to them, or until they die. Sometimes they lose all control and they go feral, snapping at anyone who comes their way; and then they run off in search of their love, never stopping until they find them (or are put down by another werewolf pack for causing a ruckus during their feral moments). And then sometimes an Alpha's territorial instincts will grow and they'll search for their love, and once they find them, they don't ever let them out of their sight. Ever.

Damn it, whenever Max goes to Canada, he'll leave me as a pathetic, depressed or feral wolf. Or maybe I'll crack and just steal him away? I mean, he is in my arms now, so there's technically nothing stopping me from turning around and buying us two tickets to wherever it'll just be me and him—

"Dominik!" Dad roared out in his bass-filled voice, snapping me out of my fantasy.

He ran across the parking lot towards me, looking frantic as his hair was all messy. I knew that he'd been running his hands through it, which is a nervous tic he possesses.

He stopped in front of me, his eyes switching between me and Max in my arms.

I half-expected him to be angry, to bitch me out for having myself and the human going to Nordwestmecklenburg and thus sending his mate into a panicked frenzy. However, instead of looking angry or frustrated with me, Dad's shoulders fell and a sad smile formed on his face. He placed a large hand on my shoulder, and thanks to his Alpha size, it completely engulfed it.

"Son," he said, his voice breaking as he looked at me with sympathetic eyes.

"What?" I asked, trying to avert my gaze, but deep down, I knew what he was doing. He'd suspected it last night, when I'd first laid eyes on my boy. He was trying to congratulate me, but I refused to look him in the eye, trying my best to ignore everything.

I heard Dad sniff at the air, and I could feel his hand on me tense up, his fingers twitching. "Felix?" he asked, sounding shocked with a growl detectable in his deep voice.

I just nodded, not wanting to go into excruciating detail about how the jerk had dared to put his arm around my boy, or how he'd bought him a box of sweets. Fuck, now I'll have to work extra in order to save up some more money to buy Max some sweets as soon as I can. I hate sugary foods, but Max loves them for some reason; and after having seen that large smile on his adorable face on the pier when I'd gotten him some Zuckerwatte, I was eager to buy him some more.

My father, clearly still angry over how disrespectful Felix had been while as a member of the Stubbe Pack, sighed deeply. "Damn it," he grunted. He tilted his head to the side, loudly popping his neck before forcing a large smile onto his face. "I have some great news to share with you."

We began to walk towards his van, and I quickened my pace when I smelt the earthy scent that indicated that it'd be raining soon. "What?" I asked again, keeping my boy close to me so that I could try to keep him dry once the rain starts to fall.

Just earlier when I'd spoken to my father while at the train station in Nordwestmecklenburg, which I will forever view as mine and Max's spot, Dad had seemed to be extremely distressed. Of course, with Paul's frantic voice having been in the background, I'd easily been able to discover that the two had been in an argument. However, now my old man's appeared to have done a complete one-eighty.

A wide smile of pure joy was on my father's face, and I could see his large canines that were surrounded by his thick beard. "Well," he happily explained, "Paul sure had the scare of his life when I'd revealed my wolf form to him earlier today. He's known for a couple weeks that I'm a werewolf, but you know how humans are. They act all fine with it until they actually see you phase."

I suppose that would explain the frightened tone in Paul's voice earlier on the phone.

My father's smile grew even larger, and he practically bounced in place like an excitable toddler. "But I asked him to marry me," he cheerily announced, puffing out his big chest with pride.

We finally reached the van, and my father slid open the back door so that I could lay my boy down onto the seats which were long for him. As he was sprawled out on the long seat, I buckled up the middle seat belt for safety measures. It helped my inner wolf and me feel at ease... at little bit.

I couldn't ignore that irritating freezing coldness that penetrated my core the second Max wasn't in my arms anymore, and my inner wolf howled for me to pick him back up. Fuck, I'm in trouble...

My father could sense my inner turmoil, and his smile faltered.

I just glared up at him, not wanting to talk about it.

One of many things I love about Dad is that he's always very respectful when it comes to boundaries. With one glance at my face, which clearly read out that I didn't want to talk about the fact that I was hopelessly in love with the guy in the backseat of his van, he dropped the topic. His sad eyes indicated that he was worried about me, but he didn't press the issue.

Yeah, he knows. There's no question about it.

"Well, um," Dad continued as we both sat up front, "he said, 'Yes.'"

"Congrats," I muttered, already dreading all of the looks my father would get from the more judgmental pack members. As we drove home, I could clearly see how ecstatic he was over having finally found his mate, not giving two shits that his mate was another man. He virtually bounced up and down in his seat, and his Alpha werewolf strength made the steering wheel groan in his tight grip.

"Paul's a nice guy," he pointed out. "And he even asks about you whenever we're out. He cares."

Of course he's going to say that. It's almost impossible for a werewolf to find fault with his or her mate. I can even attribute that to myself and my Max, in which there's nothing at all that he can do wrong. He's perfect.

"And with that said," Dad said, "Paul really wants Emilia and Max there, and with their flight back to Canada in a few days, we've decided to get married tomorrow—"

"Tomorrow?!" I nearly shouted in shock, wincing when I heard my boy groan in the backseat, almost waking up.

Dad gave a curt nod.

Getting married tomorrow really was moving fast, but that's just a testament to the how intense the mating pull can be for werewolves. A mate becomes the center of a werewolf's world, and getting married would absolutely be a monumental display of love. Therefore, I was really proud for my dad and my Alpha, because being with a mate was an unspoken goal for every wolf.

That being said...

Son of bitch, when Dad and Paul get married, that means that Max and I will be brothers. Technically, the term is "Step-Brothers", but there's still that familial connection that we will now have. No matter what, Max will be my father's husband's son, or in short: my step-father's son. Or even more precise: my step-brother.

I paled as the horrifying news began to sink in even more. Now the other wolves will not only make fun of me for being the next gay Alpha, but they'll also give me so much crap for being madly in love with my step-brother.

I'm in love with my future step-brother.

Scheiße!