Chapter 10 - Longing

As Orm and Milk stumbled out of the taxi, Milk's body leaned heavily against her, nearly unsteady on her feet. Orm was just as drunk, struggling to keep herself upright as she helped Milk out of the car. Milk's laughter faded, her head lolling to the side as she finally passed out in Orm's arms, her limp body making it almost impossible for Orm to keep her balance.

"Shit," Orm muttered, panicking slightly as she adjusted her grip on Milk. She tried to support her better, but with her own inebriated state, it wasn't easy.

The night felt hazy, the alcohol thick in her system, but her focus sharpened when she heard a familiar voice.

"Orm?"

Orm froze, a wave of shock and guilt washing over her. She turned slowly, her eyes meeting Lingling's. There stood Lingling, standing just a few feet away, looking at them with concern. Orm's heart raced as she quickly tried to steady Milk, worried that Lingling might see too much.

Lingling raised an eyebrow, glancing at Milk who was unconscious in Orm's arms. "Do you need help?" she asked, her voice a mixture of concern and disbelief. "You both are drunk."

Orm's chest tightened as she fumbled for words. "We're fine," she muttered, though the words felt hollow even to her. "Just—just taking her upstairs."

Lingling didn't move, her gaze shifting from Orm to Milk. She stood there, arms crossed, a silent question hanging in the air between them. Orm could feel the tension rising, but she couldn't let Lingling get too close, not when things were already so complicated.

Lingling let out a small sigh, finally stepping forward and reaching out to help steady Milk. "Let me help," she said, her voice soft but insistent.

Orm hesitated, wanting to refuse, but the reality of the situation hit her hard. Milk was heavy, and she could barely hold herself together, let alone take care of both of them.

With a reluctant sigh, Orm nodded. "Fine," she whispered, allowing Lingling to take some of the weight off her.

They walked together, Lingling on one side and Orm on the other, guiding the unconscious Milk inside the hotel. Orm felt a tightness in her chest, the old emotions stirring up once again. Lingling's proximity was like a jolt to her system, reminding her of what they had lost. But right now, she didn't have the energy to dwell on it—only to make sure they both got to their room safely.

Orm asked, "What are you doing here?" Her voice was a mixture of confusion and surprise as she struggled to steady herself, still holding onto Milk who was now unconscious.

Lingling raised an eyebrow, her arms crossed over her chest. "Uhm, this is a hotel, Orm. I stay here too. I just went out to grab some snacks. I'm heading back to Bangkok tomorrow," she replied with a hint of sarcasm, her eyes narrowing.

Orm nodded, not really processing everything, still trying to steady her thoughts. "I see. Thanks for helping, by the way."

Lingling simply answered, "Sure," her tone cool and distant.

Orm, still feeling the awkwardness between them, continued, "I'm staying in a different room, by the way."

Lingling didn't react, her gaze still focused on the hallway in front of them. Orm, sensing the tension, added, "Just saying, in case you're thinking of something else."

Lingling didn't respond, and the silence stretched between them, thick with unsaid words. Orm helped Milk as they both made their way down the hall, careful not to disturb her as she remained unconscious.

Once they had settled Milk in her room, Lingling sighed and said, "I have to go."

Orm nodded, though she didn't really want her to leave. "Yeah, me too. I'll walk you out."

They moved towards the elevator, but Lingling was walking briskly, not slowing down for Orm. Orm, still disoriented from the alcohol and the tension, stumbled slightly, trying to keep up with Lingling's fast pace.

"Wait up," Orm muttered, her voice quieter now, trying not to let the distance between them be so noticeable. But Lingling didn't slow down, leaving Orm trailing behind. The space between them felt larger than ever, like there was something unspoken pulling them further apart.

When they reached the elevator, Lingling pressed the button on her floor, stepping inside without waiting for Orm. Orm followed, the doors closing behind her, and they stood in silence, the confined space of the elevator feeling suffocating.

Orm took a deep breath, her voice soft. "You don't have to be like this, Ling."

Lingling didn't look at her, her gaze fixed on the floor as she replied in a low voice, "Like what?"

"Distant," Orm said quietly, trying to explain. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I know things are messy, but I..."

"Stop," Lingling interrupted, her voice tight. "You don't get it, do you, Orm?"

Orm's chest tightened, but she didn't know how to respond. She wanted to say everything that had been weighing on her heart, but the words just wouldn't come. The elevator seemed to stretch on forever, the silence between them growing heavier by the second.

When the elevator finally dinged, the doors opened, and Lingling stepped out first, not waiting for Orm. Orm followed, still trying to collect her thoughts.

As they reached Ling's floor, Orm hesitated for a moment before speaking, her voice quiet. "Ling..."

Lingling stopped, turning to face her, her expression unreadable.

Orm took a step forward, her heart pounding. "Please, let's talk. We can fix this."

Lingling shook her head slowly, her lips pressed tightly together. "I don't think we can, Orm."

With that, Lingling turned and walked away, leaving Orm standing in the hallway, her mind reeling. She wanted to follow her, to fix everything, but she knew she was just making things worse. The distance between them was too wide, too broken to mend. Orm stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do, before finally turning and heading back to her own room, the weight of the silence heavy in her chest.

Orm was on her way back to her room but stopped in her tracks. Her heart pounded in her chest as she turned around. Without thinking twice, she walked back down the hall, stopping in front of Lingling's door.

She knocked. Once. Twice. Then more, not stopping until the door finally swung open.

Lingling stood there, eyes narrowed in irritation. "What now, Orm?"

Orm hesitated, inhaling sharply before meeting Lingling's gaze. "I just want to know... are you happy with Charlotte?"

Lingling blinked, caught off guard by the question. "What?"

Orm swallowed hard, her voice more desperate this time. "Are you happy with her? Tell me. Then I'll stop." The alcohol still buzzed in her system, making her braver than usual, but the emotion in her voice was real.

Lingling clenched her jaw. "You're drunk."

Orm shook her head. "I might be, but I know exactly what I'm asking." She took a step closer. "Just say yes or no, Ling."

Lingling looked away, her fingers tightening on the doorknob. "Why does it matter?"

Orm scoffed, running a hand through her hair. "Because I still love you, dammit. And if you're happy with her, I swear I'll walk away. But if you're not..." Her voice trailed off, eyes pleading.

Lingling's heart clenched. She wanted to slam the door in Orm's face, to shut out the conversation that was making her chest ache. But she couldn't.

"Go back to your room, Orm," Lingling muttered.

Orm exhaled sharply, stepping even closer, her voice barely above a whisper. "If I answer you, you'll just get yourself hurt," Lingling added.

A sad smile appeared on Orm's lips. "Then I think I already know the answer."

Lingling's throat tightened, but before she could say another word, Orm turned and walked away.

__________

As soon as Lingling shut the door, she pressed her back against it, sliding down to the floor. Her hands clenched into fists on her lap as she squeezed her eyes shut, but the tears still came.

"Fuck, Orm," she whispered, her voice breaking. "Why are you doing this again?"

Her chest ached, the walls she had built over the years now crumbling in an instant. Seeing Orm standing there, eyes full of longing, broke something inside her. It wasn't fair. Orm wasn't supposed to come back, wasn't supposed to ask questions that made her heart race.

She wiped her tears, forcing herself to breathe.

"She's drunk," she muttered to herself. "It doesn't mean anything."

But deep down, she knew that was a lie.

____________

Orm stumbled back into her hotel room, slamming the door shut behind her. Her chest felt tight, her mind clouded with emotions she had no strength to suppress. She went straight to the mini bar, grabbing the first bottle of alcohol she could find.

She twisted the cap off and took a long, burning sip, hoping it would numb the ache in her chest. But it didn't.

She scoffed bitterly to herself. Of course Lingling is happy with someone else. Why wouldn't she be?

Orm sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the ceiling as the alcohol burned down her throat. She had lost her. A long ago. And it was her own damn fault. She thought she can still win her back. But couldn't.

She kept drinking, each sip a poor attempt to drown the regret clawing at her insides. Eventually, her body gave in to exhaustion, and she passed out, bottle still clutched in her hand.