Chapter 4

"What is that supposed to mean hyung?" I finally decided to speak after being a loss for words.

"What I said, I don't want to date her..." he trailed off into my notes again

"So who do you want to date?"

"Not her! Can we get back to studying?"

I cleared my throat, and shook my head. "Um, yeah. Let's do that." Psh, studying? I don't know if I can focus on studying now.

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"So what was weird about that?" Jimin hyung stopped his hot Cheetos midway to his mouth as I finished telling him what happened. We were sitting in his bed now, I couldn't sleep until I got a second opinion on it from him, which I always do.

"He said something about it wasn't her that her that I wanted to date..." I mimicked his deep voice which gained a giggle from Jimin hyung. "And then he gave me this look...like what does that mean?"

He was finally chewing that hot Cheetos, mid chew he decided to speak.. "That he likes you?"

"NO!! I didn't say that!"

"Kay, so that you like him?"

"HYUNGGG!!!"

"Shhh kooks, you want Hobi hyung to know about this too?"

"No! This stays between us! Not even Grace can know!" I said in panic

"Okay okay Kook, so do you want me to ask him? I love him like I love you, I can totally ask him about this."

"Hyung, don't ruin our friendship..."

"Kooks...you can wait it out?  See where this thing goes? Cause you don't like him, right?" he popped another hot Cheetos in his mouth

"Right....hyung you have an addiction to these things. Let's not eat it before bed, cause won't you get acid reflux?"

"Yeah, you're back to being my nagging little brother again aren't you? Fine fine take these from me or I will eat the whole bag." he shoved the bag to my chest as I happily took it from him getting up to head out

"Hyung?"

"Yeah!" he was licking his fingers clean

"Nothing... just thank you, you know for listening."

"Kooks, told you that I am always here!"

"Yeah I know." I closed the door behind me as I walked out of his room. I felt guilty, there was one thing I hid from hyung. The way my heart skipped a beat when he said.... that.

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Days went by now, we took our test and we both somehow passed thanks to me of course. We ate lunch after as I tried to not get too close to Taehyung hyung, we had dinner with our hyungs as I tried not get too close to Taehyung hyung, the next days after that I tried not to get too close to Taehyung hyung, when Jimin hyung invited him over to play video games I tried not to get too close to Taehyung hyung...

I tried to not get too close to Taehyung hyung. I tried to not get too close to Taehyung hyung...

I don't know why I tried to steer clear of him in a non obvious way, I talked to him and made sure he was good with all the school stuff... I just always made excuses when he wanted to go eat or do anything with me after class.

Four days passed by after our dinner, and I opened the door to leave for class in the morning, and he finally was fed up with me. He was standing there - eyes piecing at the door, body leaned against the wall across from my door, face looking tired probably from waking up early today so he can catch me before I leave. He stare turned plain, head leaning to the side. His wavy black hair was slowly dropping down to his eyes, I watched him move his bangs away from his eyes not breaking eye contact with me. I realized we were both staring and not talking...

"Hyung what are you doing here?"

"No the question is what are you doing?" he finally decided to speak, leaning away from the wall now

"I don't understand..."

"NO! I don't understand... Jungkook! Can we talk? Let's get some coffee or something because, we need to talk."

"We've talked all week, what do you mean? And you don't like coffee." I shut the door starting to walk now

"Yeah we talked about school stuff, you barely nod at my statements, don't laugh at my jokes and you walk away from me so fast once we hit the dorms.... did I say something? Did I do something for you to be mad at me? Jungkook please tell me so I can fix it."

I felt bad. I really took this too far I think..."Hyung, I am sorry. It really is nothing. I am sorry can you forgive me and forget I ever acted like that.."

"Only if you tell me why."

I froze now, I wasn't walking anymore. My legs felt like it was jello and I had forgotten how to use them... This would be a good time to make a run for it but my legs would not move. "Nothing, I didn't feel good...."

"Jungkook!" he spun me around so I was facing him now. I looked away in panic, why did I do that? "I know you, what did I do for you to act like that with me?"

I still wasn't saying anything so he grabbed my hand, fingers intertwined with mine and begin to drag me along with him. I didn't know where he was taking me but I followed regardless. He opened the door to his dorm with his key and eyed me to get in. "Jin hyung left already..."

I got it, not knowing what excuse I can possibly give him. He closed the door behind him looking at me. "Well, are you gonna answer now that we're in private?"

"I- hyung..." I felt overwhelmed with all of this, not just feeling uncomfortable with lying but also feeling uncomfortable with him knowing. I felt my eyes getting hotter, as liquid slowly started pouring out...was I crying now?

"Hey Jungkookie..." Taehyungie Hyung's serious voice quickly changed into a concerned one. He wasted no time running to me to throw his arms around me "No, it's okay you don't have to say. I just..just want you to be comfortable with me, I thought we were close and you can tell me anything ya know?" I was still crying, not too hard but hard enough for this to be embarrassing.

"Hey...wanna go to the amusement park? I'll let you drag me on the rollercoasters again..." he was trying to change the subject so I would stop crying

"N- no hyung, it's okay..." I said in between sobs

"Oh no! Come on lets do something fun.. does the karaoke place open now?"

"N-no I don't think so..." sobbing lightly again

"Do you... wanna eat? Food always makes you feel better!"

"N-no..." I stared into space as I felt him cuddling me closer into his arms

"Do you just wanna stay here like this?"

I felt a smile forming into my lips, I couldn't help it, "...Yeah..."

I felt him chuckle softly, that small chuckle you do with your mouth closed, as he held me closer. I was gonna ask him if it was weird for guy friends to hug like this, I looked up to speak meeting his face. Oh. He was already staring at me, he was already concerned, he's always been concerned for me hasn't he. Why did I avoid him? What was I running away from? He was always so sweet to me and I felt in that moment that I had really let him down.

"I am sorry Hyung...."

He was still staring at me, that concerned look he had turned into a loving gaze, without saying anything I felt his lips meet my forehead. It was subtle, soft, and quick. I felt my face turn from apologetic to shocked - Taehyung hyung, did you just kiss me?