Chapter 9

"Hyung where are you taking me?"

"Ssshh come here, to our room..."

"Why?"

He opened the door now, letting go of my hand he went to our window and pulled back the curtains. The fireworks from outside filled in our room, the reflection of different colored lights filling up both of our faces!

He smiled brightly, his boxy smile filled the whole room. "I thought you wanted me to kiss you...."

"Oh..." this man just might give me a heart attack, I don't think it's healthy for my heart to beat this fast out of my chest.

He opened his hand out to me to come to take it. I walked over smiling as I slowly took his hand, only to be pulled in closer to him. I giggled aloud, and so did he!

We just stood there like that for a minute just staring at each other - watching the lights from the fireworks display pretty pictures on our faces. Tae hyung's face changed as his smile faded away, he pulled me my waist closer to his now and started to lean forward.

My arm was to my side and I was confused on where it even needed to be. I felt his arm grazing down both of mine as the lifted my hands up and placed them around his neck as he pulled me in closer to him.

I was nervous now, I felt like my hands were sweaty and wondered if he could feel it on his neck.

My hair was getting longer now, I felt it falling down my forehead heading towards my right eye. He used his fingers to move it out of my eyes and to the side towards my ear.

I looked up to meet his eyes now. I could see the reflection of the fireworks in it, I could also see something else - a side of Tae hyung that seemed so unfamiliar but was right there all along - it was that loving gaze.

"Kook, you're beautiful..." he said as he slowly leaned in to me! I quickly closed my eyes as I felt his lips on mine. It was soft and subtle, it started off as just a peck, just a kiss. I could feel him slowly moving his lips on mine.

He grabbed my waist to be even closer to him if that was even possible. I could hear the fireworks in the background. Even in the midst of my closed eyes I could somehow see the different patterns of lights falling down from the sky from the side of my face.

I just stood there kinda still, kinda confused, kinda unknowing of what I was supposed to do!

I felt him moving down to the bottom of my lips, I opened my mouth slightly inviting him in. My heart was definitely coming out of my chest now. He slowly sucked on my bottom lip then switched to my top lip -  making me feel things I never have before.

He slowly pulled away to catch his breath, which was something I didn't need since I didn't have a breath anymore. No, I literally I had to remind myself how to breathe because I must have forgotten how to right at that moment

I must have looked really shy because he giggled and pecked my lips once more. Which made me look down in shyness, as he placed another peck on my cheek, then the other cheek - pretty soon I felt my entire face being covered in kisses as the *muah* sound filled the room, as he softly giggled against my face.

"Hyungggg" I whined hitting him slightly on his chest, making him smile at me again. "Shouldn't we... go back to the others now?"

"Do you wanna go back?" He asked still holding onto me

"No, but we should..." I still wasn't making eye contact

He pecked at my lips one more time, really savoring this moment one more time  "Okay let's go then!"

I hoped the rest of the hyungs couldn't see how red my face was in the darkness. I looked over at Tae hyung who had a similar problem.

"Hyung, your face is red!" I said as we walked out of the room. He was walking close enough to me that we kept bumping into each other and our arms kept grazing at each other's.

"Yeah, so is yours!" he giggled slightly pushing me away. I came back to grab his arm with both of my hands.

We went out to meet the rest of the hyung's. I wondered if they even noticed we weren't there. I quickly let go of him before anyone could see.

"There you guys are..." Yoongi hyung said disrupting me from my thoughts, "where did you go?"

"Oh..." I begin, we should have thought of an explanation before coming out here

"We wanted to get a drink..." Tae hyung said saving the day

"Where are the drinks?" Yoongi hyung asked

"We drank it!" Tae hyung said smugly

"Huh..." Yoongi hyung said, "that must have been a tall ass drink huh to take this long for you to drink it..."

Jimin hyung was staring at me now.

"Well I didn't wanna drink it too fast..." Tae hyung said

"Didn't wanna drink it too fast?" Jimin hyung said looking at us confused, then he sightly rolled his eyes to the side... "Was the drink good tho?"

"Best drink I ever had!" Taehyung said smugly again. I felt my eyes widen at that, I looked over at a jimin hyung with a similar expression as me.

"Huh, what is this drink? Go get me one?" Jin hyung said cleaning up the mess we made from the fireworks

"You can't have it hyung, there was only one left and it was mine, so I drank it!" Tae hyung said with the same smug expression

I saw Jimin hyungs eyes wide enough to come out his face now... his eye sockets were working overtime because wow I have never seen his eyes get that big. "Oh god... I uh... hey Look wanna help me get some drinks for everyone?" Jimin hyung said walking towards us

"Um... yeah no I don't think anyone wants drinks though..." Tae hyung interrupted

"You know Tae some of us needs drinks, hyungs don't worry Kook and I will get drinks!"

"Jimin you didn't even ask us what we wanted!" Hobi hyung shouted, Jimin hyung definitely wasn't paying attention as he pulled me back into the house, "Let's come next time without the younger boys, they get stranger everyday!" I heard him say before the rest of the hyungs laughed in agreement

"Hyung chill out.." I finally said

"CHILLLL OUTTT?" He screamed at me, then he started whispering... "Did you? Did you???"

"Did I what?" I was the smug one now

"Kooks don't do this to your hyung, I'm getting wrinkles waiting for your answer! Did you tell him?"

I smiled looking down now, slowly walking to where the drinks were, "You think they would want beer or coke?" I asked him with that same smug look that Tae hyung had

"JEON JUNGKOOK!!"

"You're right! I'll take both!"

"Shut the fuck up! Oh god, since when did you have the guts? Oh man who is this kid?" He was letting his explosive laughter come out again as I looked at him smiling.

"Okay stop, help me grab the drinks!"

"Okay lover boy, don't need me anymore!" he was dancing around me jumping in happiness, "I'm gonna cry, I am literally gonna cry of happiness! You will tell me what happened! I want every single detail when we get back, got it?"

I nodded walking back with 4 beers in hand as Jimin hyung grabbed 4 cans of soda. We both smiled as we walked toward the hyung's. I placed the drinks down grabbing a beer for me and a coke for Tae hyung. He was sitting on the ground now as he patted the sanded ground next to him for me to sit down.

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The walk back to our rooms was the worst.

It was awkward.

I didn't know what was going to happen once we were alone.

I grabbed onto the back of his shirt as he walked in-front of me. I was sliding my feet instead of placing steps properly as if I was dragging myself into the room!

The other hyungs were already in their own rooms.

I went straight to lay down in bed, letting go of hyungs shirt as he turned to close to door behind him. I heard the door click as he locked it! I quickly turned around in shock...

"Woah woah, nothing crazy! Just wanted to talk" Tae hyung said calming me down. "Hey, do you mind if I turn the lights off and lamp on? I don't want the others to think we're up!" I nodded in agreement

"So...." He said finally sitting down at the edge of the bed. I sat up, leaning my back against the head board facing him.

We felt so far away... the subtle yellow light from the lamp was shining on his face now, he's so pretty.

"I'm far away aren't I?" He asked as if he read my mind

"Mhm!" I agreed

He crawled into the middle of the bed so he was directly in front of me- "I think we should talk about us a bit?"

"Mhm..." I said again looking all around the room so I wouldn't get all shy looking at his face

"Mhmm?" He asked. I looked at him and then away really fast. I felt him get on his knees and lean toward me so he can give me a kiss on top of my head. "Weren't so shy when you told me you liked me though."

"Mhm.." I said giggling... he was still leaning on me, staring down at me.. I was starting to get shy again as I felt him lean in and give me a peck on my cheek and then my other cheek.

I lifted my head up to him giving him a hint.

He grabbed the right side of my face so I looked directly up at him - I felt him graze my jawline with his thumb as he came down to give me a kiss on my lips. I felt my face heating up again. I opened my mouth again since I didn't know what else to do and wondered if he noticed how new I was at this.

I didn't think he minded nor judged me for it.

He stopped kissing me and I sat there with my mouth still opened a bit. "Jungkookie..." he whispered against my lips in his deep raspy voice

"Mhm?" I asked

"Let's talk first... I know it'll be hard but.." he giggled as he sat back down on his butt. A little disappointed, I nodded in agreement

"So I know you said sorry for letting Jimin take over instead of talking to me... well I should apologize too... for talking to Yoongi hyung about it instead of you!"

"You asked Yoongi hyung for help? He knows?"

"Yeah..." he chucked "you have to go to the gay one when you suddenly like a guy right?" I didn't think about that.

"That's fair," I said , "so what did he say?"

Tae hyung let out a chuckle again, "Kook, he said I had to see if you gay panicked first... to see if you liked guys!"

"Gay panic? What's that?"

"That thing you did when you saw me out of the shower that one time... that..."

Oh the humanity, oh the PTSD, oh God how do I disappear into thin air? I- I- just this is embarrassing... "I don't know what you're talking about." I managed to say in a monotoned voice

"Right... and you didn't almost faint when I whispered to you right?" I rolled my eyes looking away... "Kook..." he said chuckling, "I panicked too with you too, remember? It's okay..."

"You definitely panicked a bit too hyung...."

"Right let me get to that" he rolled his eyes now smiling, "well then, when I said you panicked, he said to act aloof and act like I don't care about you, like not interested. That's hard for me to do ya know? Especially when Jimin brought up the girl thing. Hyung told me that I didn't handle that well.... Anyways I was planning on ignoring you the rest of this trip really but I just couldn't seem to ignore you..."

"Yeah that was a good thing you didn't do that hyung, I would have been sad for sure if you didn't talk to me!"

"I know, and I'm sorry for everything. I should have said something you know? I was just scared..."

"Scared of what hyung? It's me?"

"I know, and I panicked! I thought you were straight and that you would be mad at me and wouldn't be my friend anymore if I told you... cause you didn't feel the same way about me..." he trailed off looking a little sad

"Hyung, it's me. Even if I didn't like you back I could never not be your friend!" I said hands reaching over to his face "you're important to me!" I said slightly caressing his face with my thumb.

He smiled his charming boxy smile at me again, I couldn't handle how cute he was. How when he smiled so brightly his entire face smiled along with him. I smiled back not being able to hide how much I adored him.

"I just like you so much Kookie! I can't even explain it... I just like you so freaking much!"

"Me too Hyung. It's scary isn't it? It's also crazy isn't it? Who would have thought us two? Also When are we telling the hyungs? I mean Jimin and Yoongi hyung knows already...."

He shook his head smiling at me again "That's a lot of questions!" I shrugged as a sorry to him. He started again, "It's scary but I am excited. I don't know about other people but us two? We make such a good team in every way.. I am just more excited than scared." He said leaning into my hand now, as I kept caressing his face.  "We should wait on telling the rest of them. Kinda scared of how they will react, besides we should see where this is going - don't you think?"

I moved my hand down from his face, "Yeah... I like where it's going so far though..." I grabbed onto his hand, him holding onto mine tightly, slowly playing with my fingers

"Was that you flirting? Oh god I'm just not used to it..."

"I flirted with you once before... remember? And then you fell asleep on me."

He chuckled even harder now. "You think I slept that night at freaking all Kook? I mean what the hell was that? I was scared basically! My heart almost jumped out of my chest!" He was squeezing my upper arm now, "These things are something else! You're not allowed to work out anymore!"

"Ow why do you always squeeze my arm then?" I said pulling away

"Cause! I like it.... Or maybe I just like you..."

He reached over my arm again and I grabbed his hand to pull him in as a way to get him to stop only for him to end up on top of me. I leaned back a bit so I wasn't so close to him and looked up at the ceiling... "That's it!" He said

"What's it?"

"Gay panic... that's it..."

"Hyungie!" I begin to whine again

He started chucking softly now, looking shy himself. He was about to get off me now, but I stopped him. He was looked at my hand stopping his now.

"I can show you gay panic too..." I was the one that gave him a kiss now. This time he didn't let me go. He kissed me again and then again and again, with both of us smiling against each others lips.

I don't know how many times we did that, I don't think we slept much that night, from talking to kissing to cuddling - I just felt so.. so liked.

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#gaypanic! Am I right? LOL! Thank you for reading my story! <3 Also happy 8th anniversary to my everything, the seven amazing men that changed my life, my BTS boys! Its my 5th one with them and I could cry! And my crazy bias Tae who got me into them in the first place, you is special!