Brotherhood

Simon lived at his grandparents house with his only brother Liam. It was a small house, located outside of Boston in what some people had come to see as a bad neighborhood. It wasn't a home to either of the boys, and their grandparents didn't make things easier on them. That was why Liam was almost never home, and why Simon almost never had access to a car. The house was like a prison, so Simon liked to spend as much time as possible outside. Simon liked to hear the birds sing. He liked to listen to the water trickle. He liked to observe the squirrels borrowing. Simon was observant. He wasn't much of a talker, but he understood the world around him. He had a knack for understanding people's exact moods, without them ever even having to tell him about them.

Liam Matthews had been Boston Central's shining star. He was the best quarterback the school had ever known and had delivered them two championship games. He was a stereotypical jock in high school. He'd had dirty blonde hair, lighter than Simon's, quite a bit of muscle mass, shinning blue eyes, and the prettiest girlfriend on the team. From his appearance, most people assumed that he had it all together, he had a straight shot to a good college through football, nice girlfriend, and lots of popular friends, but Liam struggled, even then. His freshman year of high school, his father left their family. In his absence, Liam began pushing himself harder and harder on the field and trying to be away from home as much as possible. Simon, a middle schooler, had been left to comfort their mother. Both boys dealt with things in different ways. Simon was altruistic, worrying about others first, and tended to show his emotions strongly, at least around those he was comfortable with. Liam was contained, like a bomb, and bottled up his emotions til it pushed him to a breaking point senior year.

"Hello grandpa." Simon's small voice talked into the landline. "How are you?"

"Went golfing with your grandmother today. You and your brother take good care of the house?"

"Yeah." Simon chuckled slightly. The boys didn't mind their grandparents, when they were home, but the old couple lived in the bare model home for only a few months in the summer, before spending their winters in Florida.

"How's your brother? I haven't heard from him a while." His grandfather asked, and Simon lay silent, pondering a response. He knew his grandfather and his brother struggled to get along.

"I.. I can't ever really tell with him."

"Like your mother that boy. Never gives. We all saw how that worked out." Simon felt that like a knife to his heart.

By Liam's Junior year of high school his mother had started on drugs. Simon pleaded with her daily to stop, but she only got deeper. Liam turned from her to push himself even harder, to try to play even better. Then one day the two boys' mother had finally reached her breaking point, and overdosed on cocaine. She survived, but went to therapy, and her children were placed under the care of their grandparents.

"I'm going to an early practice." Liam called. "Then I've got classes all day. I won't be back until late." Liam stated, walking out the door without a goodbye.

"Be careful with your arm!" Simon called after him. Liam had sprained his arm a while back and he still had to wear a sling round the house.

"It's fine." He called back.

They spent a lot of time together because their grandparents only spent a few months every year at home. Still, they hadn't gotten closer because of this, but for reasons Simon couldn't explain, they'd gotten farther apart. Liam hadn't always been so distant, and Simon missed the person he used to be. He missed his brother with sun-bleached hair and an easy going smile teasing him at the beach. He missed the way Liam used to laugh and crack jokes. Most of all he missed how his brother would make him feel okay. Simon was a worrier, and he worried he annoyed Liam because of this. He wanted the two to be close, close like they'd been before things had gone awry. Simon ached. He ached in ways he didn't even realize, and he wanted a hug more than anything. His brother used to wrap him in strong arms, and make him feel like everything was alright, but he hadn't felt like anything was alright.

Liam hopped into his beat up old car and drove to the gym. He felt like shit lying to his brother, but he couldn't even think of coming clean. That was why Liam Matthew was lifting weights at the gym, rather than running sprints on the field. That was why Liam Matthews was a Liar, or so he'd convinced himself. Everyday Liam told his younger brother Simon he was going to football practice, but that was a lie. Liam hadn't been on a football team, let alone touched a football since his mother left. Instead the boy would vent frustrations at the gym, pushing himself still, just in a way that he could be detached from others. A way he could just be alone.

Sweat dripped from his exposed arms, down onto his black tank top. His wrist killed as he lifted, and he had hurt it lifting too much in the first place, but he tried to channel the pain and force himself to work harder. He refused to listen to music while he worked out, but still wore headphones so people would leave him alone. As a teen he'd like rap songs and other things his friends were interested, but he hadn't been able to find joy in those things anymore.

The weight he was lifting almost outpaced him, but he tied success to the vent of frustration he attempted to let out. He didn't pay for a gym membership, but since the owner was a once a friend, he was able to work out for free. This frustrated Liam, but he simply couldn't pay. Simon thought Liam hated him, but deep down Liam was convinced Simon blamed him for their mothers issues, and due to the fact that Simon was almost the spitting image of the woman he felt he'd failed, Liam could barely stand to look his brother in the eye.

Liam wiped down his machine. Then stumbled into the locker room. He showered, letting the scorching water try to burn his toned skin. Liam used to have a tan, but that left when he stopped playing football. He walked from the shower and wrapped a towel round his waist. For a moment Liam caught a look at himself in the mirror. He was no longer the bright eyed attractive kid, now his eyes were a bit more sunken, and his cheeks had a bit less color. They were small changes; changes most would miss, but to Liam they were markers of his pain, and Liam didn't want to have any outward signs of pain. Another reason for him to avoid his brother, Simon was observant, and would know the difference. Liam had put on a lot of muscle mass and his abs stood out prominently. He grabbed a tight blue t-shirt, and a pair of grey shorts. The shorts were a bit short, in observance of the style; Liam liked to fit in. He also had tube white socks and a simple pair of trainers. He pondered leaving his sling, but a sharp pain in his arm reminded him of why he needed it, and he angrily obliged. He kissed the cross necklace his mother had gifted him and shoved it under his shirt, before grabbing his gym bag. Liam had a tendency to walk in a quick deliberate manner. With his eyes averted he almost walked directly into a girl in the lobby of the gym.

"Oh. Hello." The girl blushed tucking her hair behind her ear. Liam ignored her, brushing his way out of the building. Liam knew he was attractive, but over the years he'd forgotten how to make or respond to flirtatious advances. Liam's car was cold, but he got right into gear and drove to the laundromat during the day. Liam worked two jobs. Another lie he told. Simon thought his brother was taking classes at the local college, and not thinking about finances, but Liam had a job at a fast food restaurant down the street, as well as a laundromat.

Simon was fragile, and clearly struggling, and Liam intended to make enough money to send his brother to Catholic school, a measure Simon would've protested, but Liam was sure it was necessary. High school was difficult and full of fakes, in his experience, and he knew Simon wasn't strong enough to deal with that. Their grandparents had money, but not enough, and because their grandparents resented their mother, Liam was always determined to take care of both him and Simon on his own. By the time he got home from his first job, he collapsed onto the couch.

"Hello." Simon's voice rang throughout the living room. Liam patted the couch next to him, and Simon broke into a small smile. Once Simon sat down, Liam lay his head in his brothers lap. "Hard day?"

"Hmm." Liam agreed. Simon lazily ran his fingers through his brother's dirty blonde hair, combing through the tangles to his scalp. Liam's eyes fluttered shut, and he felt a touch of contentedness for the first time that day.

"You know you can always ask for help right?" Simon suggested. Liam's eyes popped open and he shot up.

"I don't need help." Liam's tone hardened.

"I didn't-"

"Do you think I can't do it on my own?"Liam tone was furious, but his face was blank.

"I never..."

"Whatever. I'm going to bed." Liam interrupted and stormed out of the room.

Simon never understood Liam's pride. Simon didn't care if people saw his pain, Liam couldn't bare to look weak. He thought it made him a lesser man. Little misunderstandings were slowly but surely sowing the end of the brothers' relationship, though neither wanted to admit it. All Simon wanted was to run to Liam and cry together, all Liam wanted to do was forget the past and move forward. They had a strange relationship even when things were alright. Liam was protective of Simon. He was intent on being a provider, and because Liam no longer had any friends, something they had in common, he focused all his social needs around Simon. That made Liam difficult to read. He could be standoffish and a loner, or he could be incredibly needy and insist Simon cater to the affection he missed. Whatever Simon seemed to do he was wrong. If he left his brother alone his brother would be attached to his hip, if he coddled him as he seemed to want during some phases his brother would snap and insist Simon was smothering him. Brotherhood was difficult, even at the best of times, and it was weighing heavily on the two boys, especially when they both only had each other.