Chapter 21

Heather

The buzzing sound echoed in my ear for a few seconds, it felt like the coldness spread through my veins. The pounding of my heart became louder, it felt like I was being pushed forward while something was pressing me backward.

The tug of war on me stopped. My vision became clearer and above me suddenly appeared a white ceiling. The first face that came into my view was a doctor looking at me. He smiled at me and flicked his penlight in my eyes. I felt paralyzed but the tingling in my hands became stronger and the feeling came back.

"Hi, I'm doctor Michelson, you were out for about a month now.  Your recovery is quite remarkable." I looked around the room, my mother staring at me with tears in her eyes and my father held her as she sobbed. Tristen looked at me and happiness was evident on his face, Gabriele was also standing by my side.

He came closer and placed a kiss on my forehead. Tears were coming down his face.

"I thought you wouldn't wake up," He said, his eyes had dark circles beneath them.

"A month?" What the hell happened? A month? Did I lose a whole month?

"Yes, honey but you've healed almost completely-you're finally stable enough to be woken up." For a moment I just looked at all the people around me, my sister wasn't there.

"Where's Nichola?"

"She had to work." My brother rubbed his neck, it only meant that she was still angry at me. I tried lifting up my hand, but it fell down.

"It's going to take some time for your body to adjust again." The doctor remarked while he was jotting down something on a chart. My mother talked to me for about an hour and the others were just looking at me like I was some alien. I finally sighed loudly.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"Gabriele held my hand while stroking my palm with his thumb.

"You died." He stated plainly while avoiding looking at me.

"He means that you were in this bed for a month and in that month your heart stopped a few times," Tristen interjected. I looked at them in shock, I died.

Tristen and Gabriele exchanged a look.

"I have to go. I'll be back later. Get some rest." Tristen placed a kiss on my temple, muttering a 'bye baby sis'.

My parents talked to me for another few minutes, trying to calm me for the most part. I was freaking out about the fact that a month has past and I had no recollection as to what happened. They left Gabriele and I alone after I calmed down, for the most part, promising they'd be there later.

"How are you feeling?" I could luckily lift up my arm now, I showed him an OK sign.

"It feels so surreal, but I'm fine."

"The doctor said that you're recovering very well and that perhaps in a week you can go home after a little physical therapy."

"I really don't want to go back to that empty apartment," I stated disgruntled. Things just felt off.

"You're not, I told your parents and Tristen that I'd take care of you, it means that you're going to be staying with me until you feel that you want to go home." I tried to protest but the look on Gabriele's face told me that arguing wasn't going to change anything. I was grateful that he was going to look after me since it's hard to sit up right now and staying alone was going to be a battle.

"Where's Luca?"

"He's at Aiden's house, he has been worried about you-he has been getting nightmares again, the same I've gotten." He clenched his jaw and closed his eyes for a second like he was fighting with himself.

"I'm...sorry." He shook his head, stroking my hair.

"Don't be, it's not your fault it's mine."

"Yours? The other guy drove into you because he wouldn't stop."Flashes of that afternoon violently spread through my mind.

"Maybe I could've-"

"No, don't feel guilty I know it's not your fault." He looked relieved but the guilt was still gnawing at him.

"Heather I love you." He sighed in relieve like he has been holding it in for a while.

With a smile I gestured for him to come closer, I scooted myself a little bit upwards. I placed my arms around his neck pulling him into a kiss, a kiss that was full of so many raw emotions, lust being the main, but passion and insatiable longing for each other. He pulled back a little stifling a curse.

"I missed your kiss, your touch so much."

"I think I love you too," It felt so strange to say that. He was the only person I felt I could trust with my life.

"You really think so?" I nodded slowly.

After two weeks I was finally released.

"Okay just sign here and you'll be set to go." The nurse at the reception smiled and handed me a form, I could walk and stand on my own but I needed some physical therapy just to get my muscles strong and that takes a lot of will power, luckily it was just a few more weeks and I would manage to get through it.

Luca was standing by his father's side, holding my small travel bag, he wanted to carry the big one but his arm was still in a cast and he could only carry the small one, he tried picking up my bigger suitcase but couldn't and resorted to helping out another way. His pout of dismay was adorable.

He was really excited that I'd be staying with them, I didn't know why.

The past two weeks were great, Gabriele was there a lot bringing me things I needed. My parents had to go back home but they called me at least twice a day. Tristen was another story.

He was worried about me constantly and faffed about me like a mother hen. He was getting on my nerves, Gabriele intervened and said he's here so Tristen went back to work and today he was in Tokyo. That would keep him busy. I understand his concern but he tends to go overboard.

Gabriel shakily took the steering wheel, flashes of scenes filled my head. Flashes of what happened, how the sheer feeling of emptiness surrounded me. He drove home, we said nothing to each other. Luca sat in the back with wide eyes the whole time, it must've been traumatic to see what he saw. The car we sat in was a new one, I'm guessing that his black BMW was written off.

He stopped at his house, he helped me out of the car and dragged in my bag behind me with Luca following. He dusted off his hands as he set down my bag, Luca with his one arm flung it onto the guest bedroom's bed.

"I'm going to make us some lunch, I'm starving," Gabriele commented.

"I think I'm going to take a bath, I have to get this hospital smell off of me." He nodded, I just felt so weak and the fact that I smelled like disinfectant was making it ten times worse. I opened the tap and waited for the water to warm up, I pulled my hair loose from the bun. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I looked emaciated, my skin was pale from the lack of sun, my eyes sunken in and my arms looked so thin.

I closed the tap. I stripped down and slowly lowered myself into the tub. The warm water felt soothing against my skin. I studied my arm, the small cuts I had healed, but there was just one scar left as a reminder. I sobbed as I closed my eyes.

What has my life become? The guy which I thought I'd get married to cheated on me, I fell in love with my boss, and then I found out that he's into binding. How screwed up can my life get? I practically died so many times that I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be here...

I closed my eyes trying to escape myself, escape everything. I slid onto the bottom holding my breath, just looking at the ceiling through the water ripples above me. I held my breath so long, it didn't feel like I could breathe anymore anyway.

I heard a shallow thump but it echoed in the water, the thumping became louder. I didn't hear anything else, a few seconds later I saw Gabriele's dishelved face above me. He grabbed me and pulled me up out of the water.

He seemed panicked.

"What the hell!" He screamed. He picked me up bridal style and grabbed a towel covering me up in it. He strode to the bed and angrily but gently plopped me down on the bed. He glared at me.

"I've been calling you to come to eat lunch for the past half hour, I thought you were busy unpacking after the bath, you weren't here. What were you doing in there? Were you trying to drown yourself?"

"No, I was just thinking."

"At the bottom of the bathtub?" It felt my heart break seeing his disapproving face. I lied, I did try to drown myself to drown out things that I couldn't deal with now. I shouldn't be here in the first place. Tears began coming down, I couldn't stop it.

Gabriele looked at me guiltily and folded his arms around me hugging me tightly. I rested my head on his chest as he placed me so that I was sitting on his lap, clenching the towel.

"Shh it's going to be okay, you're here now." He tried to comfort me. He pulled me closer, my sobbing became shallow, I quickly stood up walked to the closet.

I rambled about trying to look decent. I grabbed my jeans and a t-shirt. I changed in the bathroom. Gabriele still sat on the bed when I went back to the room, he was looking down at the floor and had his fingers enlaced.

He looked up at me when I entered.

"I love you, I'm here for you-every breath you breathe I'll be here." I sat down beside him, he gave me a smile. I cupped his face and kissed him, letting out all the emotion that was buried inside of me. He grunted and continued to kiss me. It became hard to breathe so he pulled back a little, panting.

"I'm not done talking about this. You can't kiss it away," With that, he stood up and left the room.