Chapter 151
The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)
âHey, baby, just checking in. My flightâs at eight a.m. New York time tomorrow. Thatâs your two p.m. in the afternoon, so Iâll get in before dawn to climb into bed with you.â Arryâs voice is a breath of fresh air after another shitty day at school, another round of mean girl antics, and being made to feel like a leper.
But I wonât let him know. Heâs been gone two whole days already, I miss him like crazy, but it hasnât been as unbearable as I thought it would. Iâve been so busy with work and essays to think beyond it that really; I only get pangs for him before bed and early in the day when I get up.
âOkay dokes. Iâll look forward to being woken by you and that sexy mouth.â I giggle down the phone, wishing it was tonight instead. I could really use an Arry hug, itâs severely missing in my life and his effects on me.
âYou can count on itâ¦What you doing any way? I miss you, baby, tell me what youâre doing.â He sounds husky and tired, even though itâs still the middle of the day for him there, while Iâm home and already in a fluffy unicorn Onesie. Settling down for the evening while Paris has another monumental downpour of a rainstorm.
âMaking food, getting ready to watch a movie in bed. Missing you crazily.â I smile to myself as I push toast in the machine and press it down.
âWait⦠Making food? Sophs, why are you making food? We have a cook?â He sounds instantly alarmed, mild panic to that normally cool tone, and I frown that he thinks Iâm this incapable.
I mean, really?
âI told her I would do it myself tonight. Iâm making food because I want to. I am capable of cooking for myself.â I realize the toaster hasnât lit up so look around for the plug in case itâs off and notice I never clicked it down properly. Messing with the dial to get it on, after a second, it lights up.
âBaby⦠In all seriousness⦠You canât cook. Do you need me to list the amount of times youâve set fire to our kitchen in New York? How many attempts at teaching you to cook have ended in failure?â He sounds more than alarmed; in fact, he sounds kind of horrified and I eye roll at his dramatics.
âShhhhh⦠Youâre being dumb. I can make toast. I know how to work the oven. You let me heat up oven food at home all the time.â I eye up the ready meal in the glass door I picked up on the walk home and peer in to see if it looks like itâs burning yet.
âJesus Christ, woman!! Sophie, you do not make toast in the oven. Why the hell would you not let the cook, cook for you? Itâs why I pay her. And me leaving you food to put in the oven when Iâm due home is not the same as letting you make oven food unsupervised.â So now he sounds pissed and afraid, maybe a lot afraid and sometimes I wonder why my big manly boy can be such a girl at times. Anyone would think I was a complete reject at life, and he forgets, I did used to feed myself in the time before Arry.
âFirstly. Iâm using the toaster, Iâm not that dumb. Secondly⦠The oven is for the thing I got at the store;
I am following instructions, sort of. And thirdly. She makes weird food, I donât like, or even recognize.â I rattle off my responses motioning numbers with my fingers in mid-air, sniffing when it smells like something is burning and open the oven in alarm. Canât see any fire so I shut it again.
âYou bought food with instructions, instead of letting the cook do her job? And now youâre in the kitchen, using the oven⦠Alone? From a box?â He says it slowly, like heâs really having a hard time understanding this.
Okay so heâs not really amusing me with this anymore and I am starting to feel downright insulted.
âWeird food⦠didnât like it.â I repeat with a sigh. He tolerates my Diva side, so I have to tolerate his anally overbearing side, I guess. Although I have way less patience than he does.
âShe is your cook; she tells you whatâs for dinner and you tell her yes, or no⦠She makes what you ask for, Sophs. Hence being your cook!â Talking to me like Iâm a child and I glare at my cell as the toast pops up and startles me. It looks a bit black and I wave a hand at the little rivers of smoke coming from the toaster which only make me sigh harder.
âShe talks French⦠I donât know what she is saying.â Iâm distracted by the fact that my toasts till seems to be smoldering and prod at it with a butter knife absentmindedly. Somewhere in the back of my mind I remember Arry freaking out about me putting knifes near the toaster and shrug it off.
âShe speaks English⦠Fluently. Thatâs why I hired her for you.â He sounds bossy, a lot like Jake in this moment and Iâm starting to get irritated with him.
âIn a really heavy French accent, that I donât understand, and I am pretty sure she served me snails last night⦠Snails, Arry! ⦠French people eat snails!â I pull the toast out and throw it in the trash can under the worktop to start over as itâs too black and smelly to even want to put in my mouth. I peer at the oven thing again, wondering if the black plastic is supposed to be curling around the edges of the tray. I shrug uncaringly and pull more bread from the bag to start over.
âFor the love of godâ¦â Arry is gritting his teeth, I can hear it and almost picture that little muscle twitching under his left cheek bone.
âStop being so melodramatic, itâs just one Tv dinner⦠youâre such a food snob. I can handle a plastic tray of food for one meal.â I roll my eyes and watch the toaster for something to do, listening to him heavy breathing through an obvious panic attack.
âYou did take it out of the plastic, right? Checked it wasnât a microwave meal, instead of an oven meal, though, right?â He sounds strained, rambling like a weirdo. I can tell his nerves are probably a little frayed right now. Arry has a womanly love for his kitchen and all his gadgets in here. Heâs a bit of a freak about his space. Heâs probably imagining an Armageddon-like scene of chaos and my managing to break his precious oven.
I eye up the obviously melting tray in the oven and grimace, murmuring a cuss word under my breath and turn it off in a bid to limit the damage as I spy black sauce dripping down the shelf onto the next level.
Shit âUmmm⦠Sure.â I start looking around for some sort of bowl or tray I can prop in there to catch what is now oozing between the bars of the shelf and grab the first thing to hand. I open the open door and shove the oven mitt under the now stringy drips and close it again with a slam. It stinks, like molten plastic and vomit mixed together and I realize thatâs not black sauce⦠but liquid plastic tray.
âSophie?â Arrick sounds concerned, close to hysteria. Iâm starting to think that maybe he is right, and I should never fend for myself. I almost shit myself, jumping in fright when our smoke alarm goes off like a sudden slap in the head with a loud invading beep, beep, beep, at ridiculous levels. The toaster is belching smoke this time and I hit it in a panic to pop the cremated toast while I waft the infernal smoke alarm with a dish rag.
He was the one who bought a stupidly efficient toaster that cremates bread in seconds, so technically this is not a fail in self-sufficiency, but more a fail of gadget use.
Dammit.
âThis is your fault, you cursed me.â I blame him down the phone before I put it down and try like crazy to get the dumb alarm to shut up. Climbing on the counter to push open the window and air the room. I put my cell back to my ear when it finally stops, sliding to sit on the counter and hear him ranting my name in a very irate tone.
âWhat?â I cut him off.
âSwear to god, Iâm coming home, right now. Have you called the fire service? Do I need to?â Heâs so not sounding funny and probably one hundred percent serious. I jump down as the air starts to clear with the damp breeze from outside and try to ignore the alarm starting again, hoping it will stop soon before our neighbors call them instead.
âShut up⦠Stop being lame. I just burnt toast and melted a little plastic⦠Oh, and set fire to the oven mittâ¦â I add in afterthought as I spot the tiny flame through the oven door appear naughtily and start filling a mug with water from the tap to throw in there. The noise he makes sort of suggests he just face planked his desk and is probably rubbing his face half to death in a bid to keep his crap together.
âIâm calling Janetta⦠And the fire service. Jesus, Sophs. This is exactly why I tell you not to cook⦠To let me handle things. Iâm coming home, I swear. Iâm on the first flight before you burn our apartment down. How the hell am I supposed to sleep when I know youâre stubborn enough to think you can fend for yourself?â Heâs pissed now, a lot alarmed and sounding majorly catatonic while semi yelling at me.
Cute, yet annoying, bugging my happiness and I open the oven and throw the water on the almost non-
existent smoldering flames as it lets out a sizzle and dies.
âCalm your pants, Carrero. All fixed. Fires out, toaster and oven off⦠I promise. I think Iâll have cereal for dinner. You can cancel your panic flight home to save the kitchen⦠Itâs only a little bit smelly and Janetta is not coming here at this time of night. Stop being such a woman!â I sigh and move to open the cupboard where we keep the cereal boxes, disinterested in his meltdown. He has them every so often and I have learned to blank it most of the time.
âThis is supposed to make me feel better about being so far away? Are you sure everythingâs off, the fire is out? Sophs?â He groans, mutters to himself incoherently as I ignore him. I smile to myself when I find that heâs bought me lucky charms and left them in beside my favorite bowl.
I love how thoughtful my cutie is.
âShhhhh. Iâm not completely useless. Iâll let Janetta cook next time; I mean she is the cook after allâ¦
thatâs what you pay her for.â I answer pointedly, not really getting what his problem is. Itâs not like I didnât put it out. He takes a long-exaggerated breath as though trying to cool his reaction and curb that famous Carrero temper.
âI love you, but sometimes⦠Sometimes, Sophs⦠I honest to god feel like you make me crazy. Iâm calling her to get her up to check you have eliminated the danger and fumes and switched it all off properly.â He sighs again, and I can imagine him rubbing his face as he tries to not lose his shit with me. Itâs a common mannerism for him since we started living together.
âYouâre just a girl sometimes. I think you need to take up yoga, or some sort of mediation. You get stressed way too easy for a dude and will end up having an early heart attack if youâre not careful.â I pour my cereal into my favorite pink unicorn bowl and smile to myself at all the pretty colors, tumbling together in such a cute aesthetic. Pleasing to the eye and instantly mood lifting.
âYouâre my girlfriend⦠Do you blame me? I think I lose a year of life every three months Iâm with you.â
He sounds a little too deadpan for my liking.
âHa, Ha!â I retort flatly and head to the refrigerator for milk.
âIâm being serious. You keep me on my toes for sure. Besides cremating the kitchen⦠Making me freak out ⦠What movie you watching tonight? Please take my brain away from near death and house fires.â
He sounds more relaxed, panic subsiding because knowing him he has already speed dialed help on his other line. I expect Janetta to be appearing soon and I know there is no stopping him; he wonât calm down fully until he has someone assure him, I am not about to harm myself with lack of domesticity.
I catch a female voice, faintly in the background saying his name, and the cell gets muffled for a second while he responds. I know heâs at his office, so it must be his PA Amanda. Iâve never met her, but he mentions her sometimes and Iâve heard her on his cell before.
She sounds young, not that heâs ever said she is, and she has a kind of low raspy tone that I guess is attractive. I instantly get that pang of jealousy and push it away because I know Iâm my most insecure when weâre apart for days.
I hate that I get this way sometimes; itâs not often and itâs not with every girl he knows. Just when Iâm feeling low, insecure, or just lonesome. The past few days of school have me feeling all of that and his absence is getting to me.
âSorry, baby, I need to call you back. I have a call to take. Look Janetta is coming, I text her and she said she will be up in five.â He sounds disappointed and it gets to me too, even obscuring the fact heâs sending in my housekeeper to check on me, despite my protests. Like sending the Nanny in to check on the naughty kid in her room.
âI miss you; I wish you were here.â I murmur softly, stupid insecure girl sneaking out and making me instantly emotional now heâs going and can almost see him smiling at me.
âI miss you too, baby girl, please do not use the kitchen at all, until I come home. You need a chaperone, and a fire attendant at all times. I love you, Sophs. Iâll call you before you go to sleep to make sure youâre okay.â His smooth husky tone hits me in the gut harder, now heâs hanging up. I want him home more than ever and not with his sexy voiced, probably hot PA who thinks business calls are more important than his Sophie time.
Bitch has no clue how important Sophie time is to Arry.
âI guess, bye then.â I respond a little lackluster, annoyed at myself for being stupid and he chuckles.
âDonât you dare give me sulky⦠Youâre such a Princess sometimes.â He laughs down the cell and I glare at the wall.
âWhose fault is that?â I accuse snappily. I hate when he calls me a princess and implies Iâm a spoiled pampered nightmare. Even if itâs true.
âYeah, I know⦠I created my little monster and I have only myself to blame for the diva in you. Youâre my Princess⦠Stop huffing, Iâll call you back in an hour, okay? Goodbye, baby. I love you.â He hangs up before I can respond, and I glare at my cell.
Asshole.
Sometimes I really dislike him, and he makes me rage like nothing on earth, then other times I want to smooch his face to death and never let him go.
I guess it must be love.
I sigh and stare at the mess Iâve left in the kitchen and contemplate cleaning it up. The place stinks, but Iâm tired and he does pay Janetta to do this for me. I know she is really anal like Arrick, itâs why they get on, and will probably clear it up when she comes to check on the damage anyway.
I wander to the bedroom lazily and pull back the throws and blankets I insist we have in here, even though the apartment never really gets cold. Laying my bowl on the nightstand to eat in bed, I smile when I slide into my side and see all his familiar things on his own nightstand. His shades, his watch he wears for special occasions and a discarded set of cufflinks.
I love all the little Arry things he leaves laying around; reminders of him when heâs not here and I sigh at his absence once more. The ache in my stomach spreads and the feeling of utter heavy loneliness hits me harder than before. Itâs not just that heâs gone, itâs that I am far removed from everything that was my life over here. Itâs a huge emptiness in so many ways and feels so much bigger than just him going away.
I better get used to this; he will have to do it again if we are to stay here for the next year, probably frequently. This was the agreement before we even came out here. He flies back when heâs needed at Carrero Corp, or when he has fights to attend, and I stay here and focus on school. That is my only responsibility while we are here and everyone in the family knows I wonât be making trips outside of term holidays.
I snuggle down and try to tell myself that this will be okay. That I will get used to this and things will settle down in time.
Itâs one year! I mean, how much can really change or fall apart in such a short space of time, right?