Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Jonathan's heart thundered as he closed the space between them. His gaze locked on hers, filled with a longing so raw it startled even him. He reached out as his hands found her arms as if to anchor himself in the moment, his voice barely a whisper. "Is this really you, Laura? Am I... am I not dreaming anymore?"

Laura blinked. A flicker of confusion broke through her calm as she gently disentangled his hands from her arms. 'What dreams could he possibly be talking about?' The question lingered in her mind, but she pushed it aside while her heart suddenly felt much heavier.

"Anyway..." she began as her voice almost trembled.  She turned and moved toward the couch, trying to compose herself. Jonathan followed and sat on the opposite seat, though every fiber in his being ached to close the distance between them, to feel her presence near.

Laura took a deep breath and gathered the courage to look him in the eyes again. "I'm sorry... for what happened a few days ago," she said, her voice soft, yet steady. Her gaze dropped, as if the weight of her words became unbearable which filled the silence with an ache she couldn't express.

"Dad and I talked last night, and I've come to realize... a lot of things." She hesitated, as if bracing herself for the words that needed to be said. "I came here to apologize for causing a scene... for embarrassing you in front of your girlfriend at the café. You were right." A bitter smile flitted across her face, a faint shadow of who she had once been around him. Summoning her courage, she lifted her gaze as her eyes met his with a vulnerability that felt like standing on the edge of a cliff.

"I shouldn't have put that kind of pressure on you. I made you feel burdened by my feelings, by expecting you to reciprocate." She tried to laugh, but it came out hollow, as empty as the space that seemed to grow between them. "I should've kept it to myself and knew where to draw the line."

"So now I understand why you said those words... you know, about not being able to imagine kissing me or being my lover?" She paused while her laughter began dying in her throat as a somber realization sank in.

"...you treasured our friendship... right?" she asked with her voice laced in hope as she watched him, searching for any flicker of reassurance.

Jonathan stared at her, his eyes wide with disbelief at the words coming out of her mouth.

'She's talking about it as if it happened only a week ago. That means I'm back just days after she confessed to me?' He felt the weight of her words crush down on him. 'If so, why does it seem like she's so composed about it? Or maybe she's hurt but doesn't want to show it? Either way, I can't let this happen. She's obviously trying to let me go.'

"...Laura..." he began, taking a moment to steady himself as he calmed down his racing heart.

"I love you..." The words slipped out unexpectedly, startling Laura. She blinked in surprise, but her expression was carefully composed, as if she had built walls so high that he couldn't see the real emotions behind them.

Laura managed a light chuckle, but it lacked warmth. "That's not fair. You can't just say those words when I'm here, desperate and finally giving up on you—"

"No! I'm not letting you," he interrupted. The force of his words made her flinch. It was a reaction that sent a pang of regret through him.

Laura knew Jonathan craved attention and affection, thriving on the adoration of those around him. She had always been one of those people, drawn to him, and now, hearing her say she was ready to give up felt like a blow to his pride. She knew the truth that he didn't want her to stop chasing him. After all, he relished the pursuit.

"Whatever you're thinking... that's not true. So please, don't jump to weird and unnecessary conclusions," Jonathan said, his tone sharper than he intended, almost as if he had read her mind.

"You're still funny as ever. That's why I liked you," Laura replied, her words slipping out before she could stop herself. The past tense sent an alarm bell ringing in his mind.

But before he could respond, she spoke again. "You know... I don't hate you. Actually, I hate myself for feeling this way. I shouldn't have. But now that you've clearly put me in my place... I understand." She then stood up with confusion washing over Jonathan.

"I still want to be your friend," she added, extending her hand toward him while forcing a smile on her lips.

Jonathan stared at her hand, bewildered. "Laura... I just confessed to you. Are you really going to act as if you didn't hear it?" He asked and looked her in the eyes, desperate for her to understand.

Laura retracted her hand with a sigh. "What confession?" she asked, feigning ignorance, and he could see the confusion etched on her face.

The old Jonathan would have exploded with anger at her dismissive attitude, but now, he felt oddly calm, almost as if he had anticipated her response yet still needed to hear her words.

"I love you, Laura," he repeated as determination sparked in his eyes.

"If you're asking why... it's because I dreamed of losing you, and it was unbearable. I dreamed of you in someone else's arms, getting married, having children... and it didn't bring me peace. In fact, it made everything worse." He spoke as though he were standing before a judge as the weight of his confessions pressed down on him. The memories of those dreams were still vivid and haunting that it somehow made him scowl, hating himself.

"I took you for granted, and I'm sorry. I was a jerk. Call me names if you want, curse at me, throw punches. I'll accept it all if only you'll forgive me." He lowered his gaze as the shame washed over him like a cold wave.

Laura stood frozen. Her eyes were wide with utter confusion. "Uh... I... um, what?" she stammered, caught off guard by the sincerity of his words.

Jonathan stepped closer to her, closing the distance that felt insurmountable before he took a deep breath. "Laura Levine, I love you. I have loved you before I even realized it. I was a fool for denying it. Yes, I can imagine kissing you... I can be your lover... and so much more. The only thing I can't bear is the thought of losing you and watching you give up on me."

"...So please... I am begging you... Give me one more chance."