Scythe & Sparrow: Chapter 14

Fionn

As often happens when I’m around Rose, there’s one question that wraps its tentacles around every other thought I have:

What the fuck am I doing?

It takes on a thousand meanings. What am I doing taking my patient to my bedroom? What am I doing fucking my friend? What am I doing—I swore I was going to stay away from relationships. A friendship is a relationship. There are rules in place, sure, but why the fuck am I not ending this before we start? I could have at least waited until the haze of lust had cleared so we could talk about this like two rational adults.

What the fuck am I doing?

I know what I’m not doing.

I’m not fucking stopping.

Not unless she tells me to. Not when Rose is lying in the center of my bed, her breath still unsteady from the way I made her come in the living room. And fuck, it was perfect. She tasted so sweet. I glide my tongue over my lips as I stare down at her now. Her tight pussy gripped my fingers as she came, as though her body was desperate for more of my touch. Her arousal coated my hand. I wanted her to watch as I sucked it off my fingers, but she seemed lost in another dimension of euphoria, and I couldn’t bear to break her away.

And that doesn’t seem like something a friend would do. A lover, on the other hand …

The doubts might still swirl, telling me this is an epically bad idea. I’m not a good person for her. No matter how badly I want to be someone else, I know now that there’s another side of me beneath those curated desires, and I don’t know how deep that darkness goes. But I don’t think I have the willpower to resist her. She’s so fucking beautiful as she sits up enough to pull her shirt over her head, leaving her black bra behind. Her panties are already torn, hanging from the thigh of her unbroken leg, and she slides them off and then kicks them to the edge of the bed, her eyes not leaving mine.

“I thought you said you weren’t done,” she whispers. A slow smile creeps across her face. Somehow, she even makes that cast look sexy. It’s something about the way she’s learned to adapt to it. There’s a grace in her resilience that I find intoxicating.

“I’m not done,” I say, though I don’t move an inch closer, not even when her legs drop open like a dare. “I’m just …”

“Hesitating?”

“Taking my time.”

“So … hesitating.”

“I prefer ‘making the most of it,’” I say.

I’m totally hesitating.

Her grin stretches as she watches me. It’s hard to get anything past her. I feel like I might have managed to keep my deepest secrets close, despite what happened at the Blood Brothers fight. But it takes a lot of effort. Everything else seems to slip past my grasp, as though I’m split wide open and she’s stepped inside to look around.

“Then I guess I should make it worth your while,” Rose says. A spark ignites in her eyes. “Or mine.”

With that, she slides her hand down her body, a caress that drops from the notch of her throat, between her breasts, past her navel. Her touch detours, from one hipbone to the next, teasing me. Her eyes haven’t left mine. I still haven’t moved. Not even when her fingers finally slip down to her pussy and she touches her clit. Rose’s bottom lip slides between her teeth and she lets out a long, shuddering breath.

“I feel like I’m befriending myself in this friends-with-benefits situation,” she says, her voice barely more than a whisper that dissolves into a moan. There’s an earnest weight to her words, and maybe a little disappointment when she says, “You don’t need to join me, Doc.”

“Like fuck I’m not.”

With a hand behind my head, I grasp my shirt between the shoulders and tug it off, letting it fall to the floor. Rose’s eyes fall to my chest, to my abs. They latch onto the motion of my fingers as I release the buckle on my belt, my button next, my zipper after that. I take my time, riveted by her unwavering stare and the way she swirls her touch over her clit. I don’t miss a moment of it, committing what she seems to like to memory. A pattern. A pause. I want to touch her the same way, or surprise her with something she loves even more. Something she can’t do herself. I want to discover her, not just watch from the sidelines.

I pull my jeans and briefs past my hips. Rose makes no effort to hide the way she stares at my erection. Just like with everything else in her life, she’s bold, brazen. Undeterred by what other people might think or the unspoken rules that bind us. Rose knows what she wants. And it’s intoxicating to know that what she wants is me. Openly. She drags her eyes up my body like she’s savoring every inch of my skin. It takes everything in me not to rush forward and bury my cock to the hilt in her pussy with a single stroke.

“Have you been tested?” she asks.

“Yes. I’m clear. It’s been … a while. A long while.”

Rose nods, no judgment or concern in her eyes, only lust. “I have an IUD,” she says, not slowing the motion of her fingers over her clit. “I was tested last year. I haven’t been with anyone since then. So if you’re nervous about coming inside me, don’t be.” A little tremor wracks her shoulders as though the thought itself is pushing her closer to another orgasm. “I’d like that. A lot.”

My head tilts and I grab my erection with a firm hand. “How much?”

“A lot,” she repeats, her gaze fusing to mine, her expression ravenous. “In me. On me. Yeah … cum kink. It’s kind of my thing.”

My cock goes impossibly harder.

“If that’s not your thing though—”

“That’s my thing. Definitely,” I say, and Rose’s lips stretch in a bewitching smile.

“Then what are you waiting for?” she whispers.

Goddamn. She’s so fucking perfect. And this is so fucking reckless. But there’s no way I can stop it now. Even if this is all we have. Even if it becomes a hammer to my heart. I want her too much. I desire her too deeply. And she needs me as much as I need her.

I swallow, keeping my hand clasped around my cock as I step forward and prowl onto the bed. She lifts her hand from her center as I notch the tip of my erection to her entrance. “If there’s anything you don’t like,” I say, not pushing into her inviting heat, “if there’s anything that makes you uncomfortable. If you want me to stop, just tell me. I will stop.”

“Okay. Same for you.” Rose’s eyes stay fixed to mine as she gives a slight nod. There’s no teasing light in her eyes when she runs her hands up my arms where they’re braced next to her shoulders. “I trust you, Fionn.”

I search her face. There’s no lie in her words.

It takes everything in me not to lean down and kiss her as I push into her tight heat to the sound of her gasp.

Even fitting just the crown of my cock into her pussy is euphoric. A revelation. It’s been a few years since I’ve been with a woman, but I don’t remember anyone feeling as good as Rose feels. I linger there, gripped by her warmth. Rose’s lips are parted, her brow furrowed. Her fingers dig into my shoulders. “More,” she breathes.

I take one hand and run it from her hip to her knee, lifting her injured leg from the bed. And then I push in deeper to the sound of her desperate moan. “Fuck, Rose,” I hiss, sliding deeper still, not stopping until my hips are flush with her body. We’re both breathing heavily and we’ve barely even started.

“You feel …” she starts, losing her words as I slowly slide out. I thrust in hard, and she lets out a desperate moan. “Fucking hell, Fionn. You feel amazing.” I do it again, pulling out slowly and thrusting in hard. Rose tilts her head back and whimpers. “Goddamn,” she breathes. “I love that.”

I give her a few more hard thrusts before I pick up a pace of steadier strokes, and she moans again. “Tell me what else you love.”

“This,” she says. Her hands trace my back, mapping my muscles and bones. “I love this too.” I grin, though she doesn’t see it. Her eyes are pressed closed, a crease etched between her brows. I pull the lace cups of her bra down and seal my mouth over the peak of her breast, and lick my tongue over her nipple. She rakes her nails through my hair. “And that. Yes. God.” I kiss my way to her other breast as I keep up the pace of long strokes in her pussy. “What about you …? What do you love?”

“Every fucking thing about this,” I say, the honest-to-God truth. “I fucking love your tight pussy. I love licking it. I love being inside it.”

She moans with my words, her nails scraping at my skin as I unfasten her bra and toss it to the floor. “What else? What turns you on?”

“Chasing you down,” I reply, struggling not to fuck her hard at the mere thought of it. I want to take my time and enjoy every second of what could be a one-time thing. “Finding you. Fucking you like a goddamn prize.”

Rose shudders beneath me and I know instantly that she enjoys that fantasy as much as I do. I look down at her and she gives me a wicked smile. “God, yes. But what if you couldn’t find me?”

My strokes slow. I hold her gaze. The urge to kiss her steals my breath. It takes every last thread of my restraint not to do it, and it leaves nothing else behind. Maybe she won’t see that every barrier I try to keep up has crumbled, if only for a heartbeat, when I say, “I will always find you, Rose.”

Rose’s smile is so faint it could be imagined. The flicker in her brow so brief it could be a mirage. But if she thinks this is still a game or something more, she doesn’t say. Because there are no more words after that.

I kiss her neck. She trails her touch across my skin. Our rhythm grows more urgent. Deep rocking strokes, desperate moans. My cock glides through her heat, her pussy tight around my erection. Her body grips mine as though it’s a missing piece it can’t bear to let go of. Her whimpers become more intense, and I know she’s getting close. My palm glides down her body and press my fingers to her clit and within seconds, she’s losing control. Her back bows off the bed. I quicken my pace. She calls out my name and I’m falling with her into ecstasy, keeping my touch steady on her bundle of nerves as I pull out quickly. “Look down,” I grit out, gripping my erection with my other hand as a pulse of cum shoots across her left breast.

“Fuck, yes, Fionn.”

I’m immediately pushing back into her. A pulse of cum spills into her pussy. I pull out again, and this time it lands on her belly. I thrust into her cunt, staying buried there, the rest of my orgasm spent inside her. I brace my arms next to her sides, both of us recovering our unsteady breath. The sight of her covered with my cum just makes me want to do it all over again until she’s fucking covered with my spend. And the way she looks down at her body, I think she’s thinking the same thing.

“That was hot as hell,” Rose whispers. Her hands trace patterns over the tense muscles of my arms. Part of me worries that she might be uncomfortable or in pain with her broken leg. But as I take slow strokes inside her, my cock still erect and growing harder with every second that I recover, those worries fade away. She looks down at the point where we’re joined and bites one of her blushed lips. “Did I tell you that I really like being covered and filled with cum?” she asks, her eyes meeting mine with faux innocence. My cock twitches with building need.

“You know, I think you might have mentioned something about that.” I thrust harder, starting to pick up a steadier pace. “But I’m a doctor. I’ll need some empirical proof before I can be sure.”

“Thank fuck,” she says around a moan.

We fuck. We come. We fuck again. I come in her pussy. I come on her tits. On her belly. The sun is setting when we finally stop, both of us panting, both of us sated, though I can’t say for how long. And as I pull out of her for the last time, I’m already wondering how I’ll ever be able to stick to these rules.

I’m about to ask Rose if she’s hungry or if I can bring her something to the bed. And if she says she wants to stay in my room and fall asleep together, there’s no fucking way I’ll say no. But before I can say anything, she’s shimmying to the end of the mattress and then she’s up, balancing on her good leg, the injured one bent to keep the cast off the floor.

“Wait,” I say, untangling my feet from the sheets. “Let me help you.”

“I’m good, Doc.” She casts a smile to me over her shoulder before she hops toward the door. Her ass bounces with every jump and I have to clench my jaw to keep from begging her to come back so we can do it all over again. “Rules, remember?”

“Yeah,” I say, my voice thin and quiet, as though my mind has been lost in a spell and I can barely make such a simple word. And as she stops at the door, I think that might be true.

Rose turns, fully facing me. Her skin glistens with my spend. It’s smeared on her thighs, painted on her belly and breasts. With her other hand braced on the door handle, she trails a finger through the cum spread across her belly, drawing her touch upward, tracing the swell of her breast. Her eyes never leave mine as she raises that finger to her mouth and rests it on her tongue. Her lips close around it. She hums a satisfied note, and then she gives me a wink.

A thousand fantasies flood my mind, all of them of Rose. My cock grows harder.

“Night, Doc. Thanks for a fun time.”

She closes the door behind her and leaves me sitting in the growing dark.