Revelation | A NINETEEN

"James, I'm trying to help."

I halted my raised hand that had only been inches from the door. Catching wind of a conversation my uncle Louie was having, wasn't anything that should've struck me. Except the name happened to be my dad's name.

I peeked through the slim gap at the door where I could just make out my uncle sat hunched over on his desk phone. "Since when was there a limit to how much I can help? Don't think housing Stevie counts for something external. I agreed because she's my niece. There's nothing to owe me. Do you understand that?"

I rarely ever heard my carefree uncle speak in such an aggravated tone.

"This isn't the time to be prideful, James!" He snapped. "The bank only gave you twenty five days. Even if you somehow tripled sales in that short time, it still wouldn't be enough and you'd have to shut down the shop."

My mouth dropped open in shock. Dad was going to lose the bakery?

I had thought getting this 'scholarship' would ease the financial issues but it appeared that was too fairytale. One big sum out of the equation didn't automatically mean the rest was under the hood. If only I'd done something earlier, the damage could've been prevented. Except what though?

Dropping out would be the last thing they'd want and truthfully, the feeling was mutual.

"Just please think it through," pleaded uncle Louie. "I'm sending the cheque again so you better cash it in... Hello? Hello?"

There was a clatter as Uncle Louie vehemently slammed the phone down, shoulders tensed and back rigid as he exhaled a haggard breath.

I carefully retraced my steps and started to the nearest elevator only two steps ahead of a middle aged woman also entering. I pushed the ground floor button, sighing. I had only planned to drop by his office to thank him for the recent movie he rented.

I hadn't intended for my timing to be so poorly. Or perhaps it was just the opposite.

The distinct scent of smoke hit my nose as the lady beside me lit up a cigarette hanging between her red painted lips. Her hair as sleek as her suit as she spoke indiscreetly in French on the phone pressed against her ear adorned with jewellery. I tried to block out her incessant chatter, reviewing my options;

I could visit my parents on the weekend and tell mum because I knew my dad was probably hiding it from her. Mum was a terrible worrier. If exposed to this, she could convince him to stop being so stupidly stubborn and accept uncle Louie's help. However, that would mean dad would know I knew and he'd get mad at his brother. Then uncle Louie would get mad at me for eavesdropping.

Neither sounded favourable but sadly, those were the options. Going to Ms. Shepherds for assistance was out of the question.

God knows what else her twisted soul would have me do in return.

I rushed out of the fume polluted space the instance the doors opened and started out to St. Sinclair. I wished I could use the academy as a distraction from the dilemma, but I was facing worries there too.

Garren had held a meeting everyday for the past week with only the one last Tuesday morning including everybody else. It was merely a brief sitting for him to declare that from now on, all members without positions were to address him as His Majesty or Lord. I kid you not.

Strangely enough, none of the others raised a complaint about it as they were all nervous under Garren's gaze. It seemed Garren had gotten to them so they only concurred to avoid being ousted or targeted by his wrath rather than out of willingness.

Well, except for maybe Amina who was still hassling about the spot for advisory but was completely ignored.

I actually asked Ewen what duties he did as advisory and he glanced to Garren then sighed deeply.

The rest of the alleged meetings were continuous boardgame matches. From puzzles to modernly invented ones I'd never heard of like Dead Winter. It was a little interesting but I certainly did not appreciate how much of my free time was consumed by it.

"You alright?" questioned Ash at lunch.

I nodded as always and took a bite of my chicken salad. Ashton hadn't touched her plate, simply eyeing me and had me wondering what was taking Liam so long so her attention could be diverted.

"You just seemed..." Ashton pressed her lips. "Kinda out of it in class."

"Out of it?"

"Yeah, I don't know. You're there but not really. Like you'd rather be somewhere else."

I was stumped. What sort of expression had I unknowingly been making to have her reach that sort of assumption?

"Sorry, it's nothing like that. I've just got some family stuff I was worrying about today," I confessed.

"No, it's not just today it's... " She trailed off, seeming to have a debate within herself and gradually reached a decision it didn't need to be said. "Never mind. Can the three of us just hang out today? We haven't done that in ages."

"What are you talking about? You and Liam came round to mine twice last week."

"I mean going out as in outside. Not in your hotel room. We had to go there because of your curfew, since those meetings take so freaking long. What's with that anyway? Is he even allowed to do that?"

I shrugged.

"Well it doesn't seem right. Even if you are a super geniuses, that much overtime is gonna hurt your brain."

"Technically, that's not possible because the brain doesn't have pain receptors so it wouldn't be able to feel-

"Shut up Stevie. You know what I meant."

I concentrated on chewing the tender meat and lettuce in my mouth. "I honestly don't, Ash."

"Is Garren bothering you?"

I paused. "Why do you keep asking me that? I told you, no."

"Because whenever I do, you get all tense. I don't need to go to a stupid psych class to know that."

I leaned back in my seat, appetite as stale as my lemonade.

"That guy's smart, as much as it kills me to say," Ashton began. "And I don't doubt that you're just as smart but he's messed up in the head, Steves."

What if I don't mind if he is?

The words chimed in my head so vivid and clearly that I feared I'd voiced it out, but Ashton wasn't giving me any funny looks. She definitely would if she heard the crazy things running through my mind non stop lately.

Then I'd risk losing the only kindhearted and good natured and real friends I've ever had. Taking risks wasn't wise.

"Okay. Let's hang out today," I said.

Ashton smiled. I smiled back.

**

As predicted, only Garren was present in the rec room when I stepped in.

"Oh, right on time. Well done." He said, assembling the pieces on a peculiar looking board. "I thought I'd pick the game this time."

I stepped closer, approaching his side but not past the limit I could sustain absolute control and derived it was a shogi set.

I could take a guess he picked it after losing to me at chess which he said was quote, his "strong point." Too prideful to call for a rematch, he was picking something closely similar to redeem himself.

"Don't know if you've ever played this one. It's Japanese and like chess, the school had a national award winner come in once to challenge-

"Yeah, I know. I was in the auditorium watching it."

"... Oh, you'd transferred to the academy around that time?"

"Transferred? I've been going here since first year."

Garren paused from his arranging, throwing me a puzzled look. "You didn't transfer here?"

"No."

His brows knitted close enough for their ends to almost merge, eyes casted to the sprawled out piece. "I've never seen you in any of the advanced classes."

"I don't take the advance classes."

"Why not?"

"Forget about that. Look, how long do you plan on keeping this up?"

"Keep what up?"

"This." I made a gesture to the table and him. "Because I don't care if you don't want to take your captain position seriously but I'd like to spend my free hours with my friends for once."

There was a silence.

"You're still upset."

The amount of seconds that passed before he came to that comprehension made me want to roll my eyes.

"Yes, obviously."

"Why? The scandal was weeks ago. In the media's eyes, it's basically ancient."

"I don't care if the media's over it! God, you really don't understand this..."

"It's not my fault when you're not straightforward on what you're feeling."

"I have been completely straightforward since the start."

"No." He shook his head. "You haven't, because everything I've seen over the week has contradicted those so-called feelings."

"What are you talking about?"

"You being upset over Michael. What, were you in love with him or something?"

"No."

"Then why are you acting so torn up that he was ousted? What he did was a crime."

"You know it wasn't as simple as that, Garren. Michael had good intentions, he didn't enjoy exploiting people."

"But he did in the end, that's the fundamental fact," Garren countered. "Hiding that was never going to end well. Don't feel guilty over a liar."

"Like you've got any right to be calling him that. You lied to the press and to me."

"When did I lie to you?"

"When you acted like you saw me as an equal but you just wanted another puppet. I let my guard down and told you something I obviously wasn't in the right state of mind to be saying and you took advantage of that."

"How would I have known that?"

"Because you weren't drunk! I don't know how you did it, but you faked all those shots. You were fully sober the whole time."

Garren merely blinked. "You noticed huh?"

"Yes so don't tell me you didn't know. You knew exactly what was going on. You, you used me." I wanted to bite off my tongue at how pathetically vulnerable the words sputtered out.

A flicker of emotion flashed across his face that was gone too quick for me to decipher. "I used you? Stevie, that's what you do in partnerships. You use each other. You help each other."

"I didn't sign up to help you ruin someone's career."

"His career was botched the moment he was being a fraud. Who knows how much worse the situation would've been if an outsider discovered it. I did him and St. Sinclair a favour."

"For selfish reasons."

"It was still the right thing, regardless." He shot back. "It's no different than you playing along with Will back at the restaurant. I could even say you quite enjoyed tormenting that tosser."

I flinched. "That and this are completely different."

"Right, because you only deem it acceptable to take action on people you decide deserve it. Michael's respectable, forward and knew his place, unlike Will's worthless ex-

a little twisted, isn't it?"

"You're no better then! You enjoyed the media tearing Michael apart."

Right then, a devilish smirk spread on Garren's lips. "Exactly my point, Stevie. We may look at different preys, but we still want something to hunt."

My nails were digging so tightly in my clenched hands, the skin felt on the verge of tearing. "I'm not like that. I don't make a life out of putting people down."

"Of course not, we're not monsters-"

"Stop saying we, I don't want any part of your depraved narratives."

The strain in my voice was impossible to miss. He pursed his lips. "Fine, then let me put it this way; what would you have done if you figured out Michael was a fraud? Would you confront him?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out.

Garren took that as the alternative of an answer, nodding and continued. "You wouldn't. Because at that point, Michael isn't a threat, he isn't someone you wish to prey on whatsoever. In fact, you might go so far as to protect him. But let's say, you later find out he was involved in other despicable acts or he learnt you knew his secret and threatened you for silence. Would you still do nothing?"

He didn't wait for me to even attempt to reply, expression more than confident after reading my own.

"You wouldn't. I know you wouldn't because that would be letting him take advantage of you, something you've had more than enough of with those bumpkins back home bullying you for being smarter than them. In fact, those kids must've felt so beneath you to even bother retaliating. Or maybe, you just didn't know how to?"

The words were no longer lodged in my throat, rushing out in a instant. "Of course I did."

Pure curiosity brightened the dark haired devil's face. "Oh, sure." He feigned skepticism.

A sly bait to draw me in and like the overswollen fish adamant for more delicacies than the crumbs the pond had to offer, I fell for it. Hook, line and sinker.

"I knew all the passwords to their phones, at times one or two got it confiscated by the teacher, I'd practice. I'd gain access to all their texts, their photos, accounts and I could've ruined everything for them at a single tap if I wanted. Most of their families went to my dad's bakery, I'd thought of lacing their orders at least a dozen times a day. I was more than fucking capable of being ten times worse than those cunts and they had no idea." The corners of my lips had etched out to both ends before I could even grasp it.

My whole body was shaking, never feeling so overwhelmed and unfamiliar with the sensation riddling me. All I knew was that the boy sat calmly observing me didn't seem the least bemused or opposed. Just the opposite, in fact.

"So why didn't you?" Garren asked.

It was the last thing I was anticipating, surprisingly enough. "... Because it's wrong."

A large sigh left Garren's lips, shaking his head. He stood to his feet. Fingertips brushing the polished furniture surface as he inched closer, threatening to breach my comfort zone.

"This is exactly the problem, Stevie. 'It's wrong to think badly of others'. 'It's wrong to think highly of yourself.' 'It's wrong to to take revenge.' You hear all this growing up from friends and others constantly it's drilled into your head that it's the norm of a moral compass. That's where the difference is but here we are. In the same place, in the same club despite our complete different ethics. Don't you think that's incredible?"

I didn't respond, eyes trained on his slowly advancing feet. "And I've figured it out now. Your issue with the scandal was never how it effected Michael or his position. This was about you."

I felt a sudden dryness in my throat and a swallowed in aim to ease it but it only resulted to a scratchy soreness in its place. My eyes were burning at his intense gazing but I didn't dare back down.

"This was all about you." He emphasised. "More than feeling guilty that Michael got hurt, you were devastated at the idea that I only approached you to manipulate you. You were upset that I might not have cared about you like how you care about me.

Why else would a girl who claims to want to spend time with her so-called friends waste it on me? You could've thrown any of our games to end it quickly but you didn't. You played because you liked it. Every 'independent' choice you make, Stevie isn't your own. It's all been programmed into you. How you should react, how you should feel, who you should associate yourself with- everything. Until now."

I was hugely convinced that Garren Adler was indeed a wizard of sorts as my lips were unmoving, as if magically bounded to remain sealed. That was why they were refusing to budge. I was staring far too long without words.

Far too long that anyone could've easily misunderstood that I was dumbstruck, flabbergast, stunned at what was said but that wasn't the case. No. I was under a spell. That was why I hadn't denied all the bull he'd just spewed.

I fought against the incantation, it finally gave way only for a sharp scoff to come out. "Could you cut it out for once, Garren? Seriously." I ran my unsteady hands through my hair. "You're just tying to look for a way around acting like an actual human being and just apologising if you don't want me to be upset with you."

I hated the waver in my tone nearly as much as I hated the calmness in Garren's eyes, like I hadn't struck a nerve.

"I have no problem apologising to you in regards of making you think I only offered to make you an Ace to take advantage of your trust. I didn't intend for that." His voice rang with such authentic seeming sincerity that my insides turned. "Stevie..." My body stiffened when a warmth gloved my wrist. When had he gotten so close to put his hand?

I aimed to pull away and he tightened his grip. It was firm but not forceful. Never breaking eye contact as he did so. "Do you know why you spent your week playing boardgames with me?"

"...Why?" The word left my lips before I registered it.

"Because around me, you don't feel the need to anaylse everything you say before you actually say it. Or make sure how you react to something matches others, or meets their expectation of you or worry about your thoughts seeming selfish, pretentious or vicious. You feel free to talk or treat me as you want. When it's me, it's not so lonely in your little world anymore."

I swallowed again, but this time it wasn't just my throat that was scratched.

My whole insides were rampaging with this unexplained thumping and I was rendered speechless again, staring into those eyes that weren't pretty like Shaun's. Neither were they tame like Liam or Ashton's or endearing like Will's.

Garren Adler's were as cold and brazen as the first time I'd ever laid eyes on him, and just like the first time, it gave me a chill of illogical pleasure.

"Am I right or not, Stevie Powell?" At each syllable of my name that he drawled, it was hypnotic.

My lips parted to form a response when all at once, something in my chest violently shook and I jumped, drawing back from his clutches. Realising it was my phone vibrating, I calmed my erratic heart, feeling slightly dumb and collected the phone from my inner blazer pocket.

Garren didn't move an inch as I answered. "Hey, Ash."

"I'm at the gates. Where are you? I wanna trick Liam into thinking we're leaving without him."

"I'm um," I coughed, clearing out the tremor in my voice. "On my way."

"... You're not backing out, are you?"

"No. Of course not."

"Good cause it's just one meeting and a tiny lie. Nothing to freak about, okay?"

"I know."

"If you're having trouble thinking of a way to ditch, just tell them one of your folks is in the ER. I'm sure even that tool is like, required by law to let you leave."

"Yeah, got it."

"Hurry up then." The call ended.

"Was that the loud one?" guessed Garren.

"Yeah."

I held my phone tightly. It couldn't have rang at a more perfect time. I'd almost forgotten everything else for a split moment.

"I was coming to tell you that I have plans," I explained. "And I can't be bothered thinking up an excuse, so go ahead and write me up to Ms. Shepherds. I'm going."

Garren's calm disposition remained. "Okay then."

"I'm not kidding."

"I know you're not. And I won't write you up, so don't worry. You're free to go."

"What, you're just suddenly being all benevolent now?"

"No, I'm just not interested in getting into a fight about what I've already spelled out crystal clear for you. I came to play, nothing else. Have fun." His tone held no condescending note, it was hollow and dull.

"I will," I replied and made steadfast strides to the door.

My hand wielded the cool steel of the handle and for one completely confusing second, I hesitated. My body feeling drawn to turn around and facing the boy who I knew was probably watching me intently.

I fought it off and wrenched the door, quickly closing it behind me. My steps became unsteady and I only made it three metres before slanting against the wall, overridden with this indescribable queasiness.

My eyes darted around hall, hoping no attendants would pass by to witness the girl looking like she had a meltdown. Although, unless it was Callahan they probably wouldn't bat an eye.

I pushed myself off the support of the wall. What the hell was wrong with me? Lonely? How could I be lonely? I had a family, everyone at Berkeley's. I had friends. Good, real friends. Who wanted to spend time with me- I couldn't be lonely.

Could I?

I exhaled a breath, feeling frustrated and utterly muddled but without a doubt, Garren had definitely won this round.