Honesty | A THIRTY

"Miss Ivanov has offered to interview you for an upcoming piece on her channel,” Ms. Shepherd said not a moment later after I'd settled down on a chair.

"Me?"

"Yes, she strongly insisted you'd be the most suitable for it so I told her you'd be delighted to."

"Oh, I am?"

Ms. Shepherd nodded. "The interview will be held at her dorm in Parr. Transport will be provided for you to and back. She said it'd come around one or two o'clock tomorrow, so I've issued you to be excused from all your classes between that period. Just stay at home and wait."

"Okay."

"Now, here is the most important thing.” She leant forth ever so slightly, elbows on desk. "I haven't been given the full details on this and although Ivanov has stated it will profit St. Sinclair, while also in her own way showing she means nothing against Coeus or the board's judgments— don't assume this will be a simple tea party. Words can't be as trusted as ink."

"What do you mean exactly, miss?"

"Ivanov succeeds as an advocate and frankly, quite arrogant. So the twit might have the intentions to use you as easy prey to scoop more out on Garren's social... endeavours."

"Like she did with Philip?"

"Precisely."

"But if you're suspicious of that, why agree to the interview?" I asked.

"Because I don't back down from opportunities that can be profit. St. Sinclair wouldn't be standing where it is in title if I did. Listen very carefully, Stevie. You won't simply be going there as yourself but as the academy's representative. If Ivanov brings any controversial subjects, preferably in regards to accusations or rumours on Garren, you steer them clear of reflecting badly on the school. Even if for instance, it's a matter that can't promote it if verified, discard it instantly. Act oblivious if necessary. Understood?"

"Yes, miss."

Ms. Shepherd's eyes squinted. "You sure?"

"Yes, miss."

There was a silence that was broken by her leather chair squeaking when she shifted. "I want to make this clear; I want you to lie through your teeth."

"I got that bit, miss."

Another silence.

This one filled with her grey eyes scanning me pensively from where I sat, thin lips in a flat line. Then all at once, the interrogative cloud dispersed from her gaze and replaced by a light smile. "Oh, splendid. Well then, that'll be all."

I nodded and curtly took my leave, pretending I couldn't still feel her eyes on me.

A deep sigh leaving my lips and I dragged my hands through my hair. I'd been having to retain my built up agitation since yesterday when I found that note in my locker.

I had warily walked into the Coeus garden grounds that looked practically deserted, excluding the lone figure that came to be none other than Esme Ivanov.

Opposed to the cheery, goodwill demeanour she presented when arriving, she was stern and restless.

"No one followed you, right?" Ivanov questioned.

"Um no, why?"

She peeked over my shoulder first. "Nice to officially meet you." She stuck out her hand.

I took it gingerly. "Yeah, what's this about?"

Her expression was nothing short of serious. "Justice."

"Justice?"

"I know a lot of injustice has been going on in this academy for years, but I paid it no mind because there are bigger problems in society and our environment to focus on. Lately though, it's gotten especially heinous."

"Are you talking about Garren?"

"No." She shook her head. "I'm talking about the root of all the corruption; Cecilia Shepherd."

I intently listened onwards.

"I know how that whole scandal with the former captain Michael Howard had been monopolised by her. The press conference too, even other incidents before that to cover her grandson's misconducts. Or using her authority to convince you to sign up for the club."

I didn't think I could be shocked any further from the first statement that left her lips, but I'd sorely been mistaken. I stared face pale for eons that were only just seconds until I spoke. "H-How do you know about that?"

"I'll tell you if you—"

"Okay."

"Stevie I haven't even said anything yet."

"Whatever, I'll do it. Just tell me."

Ivanov frowned. "Stevie I'm not sure what you're thinking but I'm not trying to exploit you here."

"I fail to see that."

It was becoming an infuriating pattern of people using my family to string me up and dance as their puppet.

"I'm not like that crazy headmistress. I'm sorry she's went around using you to carry out whatever plans she has going on." The disdain in Ivanonv’s voice was scarcely convincing but I refrained from dropping any guard. "But I can help free you from it."

My brows pinched. "Why?"

"Because that's the right thing to do." She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, baffling me. "I'm going to say my proposition but whether you want to go along with it or not, I'll tell you my source."

I studied her, my lips pursed.

"It's been hard, hasn't it? Keeping everything in and nodding along— being so powerless." A gleam in her eyes that I couldn't grasp as anything other than compassion that spoke deep within me.

I swallowed. "Yeah."

She placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. "You can trust me, Stevie. I'm here to help."

I nervously met her earnest gaze and ultimately reached a verdict. She filled me in on her proposition that was the interview piece she'd be using to quote 'purge the academy of corruption.' Along with my freedom as she profusely promised. I said I'd think about it.

Ms. Shepherd apparently had thought about it for me. Why Ivanov had gone to the head after assuring me she was putting me first wasn't adding up.

I didn't feel confident I could trust her but, I wanted to believe this was for a selfless cause. That someone out there wanted to do right because it was simply right.

I sought out Ash who was by the student lounge with her boyfriend to state I couldn't follow through with our plans to go dress shopping today.

"You'll be doing the interview at their campus? Cool." enthused Ashton.

"Yeah." I murmured.

"You don't seem so excited." Liam noticed.

"I am." I wasn't. "It's just, I've never really done an interview or anything like that and I didn't get any time to think it over. Ms. Shepherd just went ahead to decide everything.”

"You'll be fine." assured Liam.

"What's the interview about?" asked Ashton.

"My personal experience as a new member and coping as one of the first females to be acquitted in a five year long male oriented club. Or something like that."

I'd questioned Ivanov why she hadn't considered Amina who was technically the first girl. Ivanov supplied she was reluctant on aiding assistance from a Garren-ite.

Yes, she'd mysteriously known about the fan page too. The biggest thing pushing me to do this interview was my dire curiosity to the woman's sea of knowledge that should've been unattainable to an outsider.

"So it's like a behind the scenes kinda thing?" Ashton summarised.

"Uh-huh, basically."

"Garren's got no clue, right?"

My brows knitted. "What does he have to do with any of this?"

"Because that tool probably will try to chew you out if he heard about it. Can't imagine he'd be thrilled that someone wasn't going on about how great he is for once."

If I'd just nodded back at that, it would've been the end of the topic. Though, I'd stopped listening to that part of my brain that analysed every scenario firsthand. I just went out to say, "Well, I don't plan to go on there to gossip."

Ashton's eyes narrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, Shepherd is only letting this interview happen to keep the school's image. Not to trash talk one prick."

"I don't see the problem here, you were perfectly fine with doing that practically everyday. It's basically your second language."

"Well, I think Ivanov got more than enough of what she needed with how well the last video was received to need me on her vlog for that."

Ashton eyed me like I'd just grown a second head. "Hang on, let me get this straight— you're saying you'll actually cover up for that piece of shit?"

"Ash, I think what Stevie means-"

"I can speak for myself, Liam." I cut him off. I knew he could sense the tone was getting tense but cowering back was the last thing I felt comfortable doing. "Yes, Garren is a dick— we've clarified that more than enough times in my opinion. But you know what, Ashton? The person who probably doesn't care if someone wants to share that out the most is him. And you know what else?

He's actually thinking about the club and alright, he played dirty to become captain but he's a capable replacement. Besides, who else other than him would've had the nerve to expose Michael and bear the label as the person who lost St. Sinclair its biggest icon, not to mention risking the academy going under? If Ivanov plans on digging that out of me, I'll gladly say it as it is. Because I have no need to hide that St. Sinclair wouldn't be anything without people like Garren Adler— which is the real crime."

The pair had on expressions that I'd never seen before as they stared. I hoped it was revelation on how narrow minded they'd both been.

Ashton scoffed. "And when did you take the job as Adler's lawyer?"

So much for revelation. I heaved a sigh. "Did you listen to a single word I just said? This isn't about him. This is about getting priorities in order."

"Priorities like what?"

"The school and Coeus."

"Oh, so it's for the school?"

"Yes."

She shook her head, a humourless laugh leaving her lips. "God, you sound just like that demented headmaster."

I could no longer retain a frown. "What did you just say?"

"You heard me."

"Take that back." My tone had Liam growing visibly uneasy but his girlfriend wasn't as easy to shift. "Take that back right now, Ashton."

"Or what?"

An unfamiliar itch stirred in my hands, rapidly escalating each second longer I bored into those eyes and I wasn't sure where it would lead to if it kept growing. While Liam looked ready to intervene our staring contest at the same time but a voice beat both.

"Excuse me."

I snapped my head to the boy who'd been standing awfully quiet. Too quiet. "I wanted to have a word with Stevie— am I interrupting something?"

There was no hint of apologeticness in Garren's expression.

"No." Ashton interjected. "She's all yours."

Every ounce of scorn in her tone as she marched off. Liam spared me one last glance before going after her. All that was left was numbness when I turned my attention to the outside party who looked particularly amused.

"How much did you hear?"

"Nothing really. I just came when you looked ready to pull your friend's hair out."

Relief instantly washed over me that his timing wasn't so precise. I didn't need him overhearing calling him a capable captain with how inflated his ego was already.

"Were you calling me a heartless dictator or something?" He questioned.

"What do you want?"

"I just came to remind you about the IAO prep after class today."

"Oh, right. Okay."

"You alright?"

I nodded. He passed me a surveying glance and looked on course to add something but changed his mind at the last second. "Okay, see you later then."

That was when something in me spurred at having to see his retreating figure. Before I could think twice, my hands threw themselves onto his arm. His sharp eyes fell back to me in a heartbeat.

"Garren," I had no control over the erratic tremor of my voice. "Can we go somewhere? Please."

I didn't know who was truly on my side anymore and the same applied to myself as well. It was getting me dizzy but one thing I could count on was this pretentious prick reading me like a book.

This time was no exception. Garren didn't utter another word and obliged.

**

I came to find myself leant against the hood of a Benz, a hazelnut sundae in hands with the cliff view of the town's grassy vineyards in the horizon. The peaceful scenery assisted to distract me from the chauffeur who was having a smoke by a bolder.

"So she said you were my nan? Ouch." Garren chuckled. He was slouched back, looking so relaxed that it seemed he become one with the ambiance. His fudge sundae untouched. It would melt if he didn't eat it soon with the sun's rays beaming directly on our spot. "What happened to just calling you a bitch?"

I'd been called a number of names growing up, but it never got to me like this. It never cut me this deeply. I knew it wasn't simply from being compared to that two-faced woman, but because it was said from her lips.

"It is a little strange to have you thinking about the school as a priority though," said Garren.

"Of course I think about it but not for the same reasons as you or Ms. Shepherd. I mean that if hypothetically things got bad and the school was shut down, all the effort my folks put in to get me here would be in vain and I'd be sent packing home. I wouldn't be able to see Ash or Liam or..."

You guys.

The final and the most delicate words were on the tip of my tongue and I forced it to stay buried. It was a cowardly choice, I knew that. After telling myself I'd be honest but I was terrified of the power I was giving them and unknowingly making myself an easy target if they chose to hurt me.

I'd had no idea.

Neither did I feel anywhere ready to give that power to this boy beside me. He could break me for fun.

"Or?" Garren pressed. His expression was the closest thing he bore to innocent, seemingly clueless as to what else I was going to say.

"Nothing. Never mind." I resigned. He didn't push me and reverted to laying back, sundae still untouched. "It's just lately, I keep getting into fights with them. Well, more like Ashton. I know friends can have disagreements but it wasn't like this before."

We were meant to be closer. We should've been closer. So why was it worse instead?

"Well, there's one easy way to fix that," began Garren.

"How?"

"Dump them."

I rolled my eyes. "Wow, why hadn't I thought of that?"

"I'm serious, Stevie."

"And that's the tragic thing in all this."

"What's tragic about it? You don't need them anymore, if you haven't forgotten who's standing right in front of you."

I blinked.

I could no longer tell the lines apart between console or conceit as to where it lied with Garren Adler. "Why is there a 'them' in this? Why is me keeping other friends that aren't to your standards such a problem?"

"That's not my problem. My problem here is having to watch you being so scared of rejection."

"What are you talking about? I'm not— "

A deep chuckle left his lips. "Don't give me that bull, Stevie. You know exactly what I'm talking about. I know who you are, and you know who you are but it's them that don't because you're hiding it. And why? Because you don't want them to reject you. And hey, who can argue? Nobody likes rejection. But the worst thing out of doing this Stevie, is that you're rejecting yourself."

If I had speculations that Garren could break me, I hadn't taken him seriously. He was capable of doing so much more and I couldn't bring myself to say anything further after those words. I ate my sundae in silence, along with Garren's afterwards.