CH 65
Fantasy Farm
translator: baumkuchen
By the end, Bai Yuehu was already swimming in darkness so dark that you couldnât see your hands in front of you. Lu Qingjiu couldnât see anything, only able to feel Bai Yuehu swimming below him. Probably out of worry that he would be afraid, for the remaining part of the journey, Bai Yuehu was constantly chatting with Lu Qingjiu, until they reached a giant platform. That platform was emanating a cool light in little starry specks, like a vast sky full of stars. Only if you looked closer, would you realise that those lights were coming from a few very strange-looking fish. The appearances of these fish could only be described with the word âbizarreâ. Thinking of something, Lu Qingjiu couldnât help but laugh.
Bai Yuehu asked what he was laughing about.
âI once saw a line, someone asking why all the deep-sea fish looked so ugly,â Lu Qingjiu said, âSomeone replied that since no one could see them anyways, they just grew however they wanted.â
Bai Yuehu was silent for a moment, before saying, âI also grew up in the deep sea.â
Lu Qingjiu, ââ¦â¦â
Bai Yuehu, âMy entire family grew up in the deep sea.â
Lu Qingjiu started coughing violently. His face turned red. âDonât misunderstand, I didnât mean that you look ugly.â
Bai Yuehu didnât speak. After placing Lu Qingjiu onto the platform, he dispersed the black fog, returning to human form.
Because of the light provided by the fish, Lu Qingjiu could just barely see the scenery on the platform. This was a very neat boulder, as if it had been specially polished. Far away, there was a huge cave. The cave was also emitting a bright light, making it especially dazzling in the dark water.
Leading Lu Qingjiu along, Bai Yuehu walked towards the cave. He briefly introduced this place, saying that he used to live here, it could be considered what humans called a home.
This being his first time coming to the place where Bai Yuehu lived as a guest, Lu Qingjiu was brimming with curiosity. He really couldnât imagine what kind of birthday gift Bai Yuehu was going to give him.
The two continued to walk onwards, entering the cave. After entering, Lu Qingjiu saw that there were many bright pearls inlaid in the walls of the cave. These pearls radiated a bright light in the dark cave, illuminating the entire cave like daylight.
This cave was extremely big, to the point where Lu Qingjiu couldnât even see where the ceiling ended. Thinking about it, the Bai Yuehu who lived here would definitely have an original form that couldnât be considered small by any means.
There were many tiny forking paths in the cave, but there was only one main path. This main path was decorated extremely simply. Other than the occasional decorations hanging on the walls, there was practically no trace that anyone had lived here. But soon, they reached a huge room. In the centre of the room was a black stone plate. The stone plate was round, occupying a big half of the room.
Bai Yuehu said, âThis is my bedroom.â
âIs that your bed?â Lu Qingjiu pointed at the stone plate.
Bai Yuehu nodded. He had Lu Qingjiu wait by the entrance, while he himself walked over to the stone plate. Because there werenât any night luminous pearls in the bedroom, Lu Qingjiu couldnât see where Bai Yuehu had went very clearly. However, he returned very quickly. After returning, he grabbed Lu Qingjiuâs hand in an extremely natural movement and said, âCome here.â
Lu Qingjiu let out an okay, and was led onwards by Bai Yuehu, holding his hand.
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âLu Qingjiu.â Bai Yuehu unexpectedly stopped, moved close to Lu Qingjiuâs ear and whispered, âHappy birthday.â
As his words fell, a gentle light appeared before him. Lu Qingjiu saw a gigantic white skeleton. No, it wasnât a skeleton, it was a white dragon horn. The dragon horn was pure white and translucent, like jade, shining white a dazzling brilliance. It almost took up the entire room. Standing before it, the human Lu Qingjiu was almost as tiny as an ant.
Lu Qingjiu stared at the dragon horn, his attention completely attracted by its brilliance. He couldnât help but walk closer and reach out his hand to gently touch it. The dragon horn felt extremely hard, like a stone. Lu Qingjiu couldât get enough of touching it, to the point that he even wanted to rub his cheek against it.
Bai Yuehu said, âDo you like it?â
âOf course I like it.â Lu Qingjiu smiled. âWhere did you get it from.â
Bai Yuehu said, âItâs myâ¦â¦ Itâs something I picked up.â
Lu Qingjiu said, âYou picked it up?â
âYes,â Bai Yuehu said, âWhen every dragon matures, they will replace their horn from their youth. This is it.â
Surprise appeared on Lu Qingjiuâs face. âThis is just the horn of a young dragon?â This dragon horn was already shocking enough. Just standing next to it, he was already able to imagine that dragonâs magnificent aura.
âYes,â Bai Yuehu said, âAn adult dragonâs horn is twice as big as this one.â
Lu Qingjiu couldnât imagine it. Standing next to this dragon horn, he couldnât even fully wrap his arms around it. If it was an adult dragonâ¦â¦ It would be how âmagnificentâ should be.
Lu Qingjiu asked, âThen this should be something really special, right?â
Bai Yuehu said, âEn.â
Lu Qingjiu said, âThen giving it to meâ¦â¦ Is it okay?â He naturally wouldnât really think that Bai Yuehu had picked this dragon horn up from somewhere. Clearly, the owner of this young dragonâs horn was Bai Yuehu. It was just that his familyâs fox spirit seemed a little embarrassed, and had found an excuse to gloss it over for Lu Qingjiu.
âItâs fine.â Bai Yuehu averted his gaze in a rare move for him, breaking eye contact with Lu Qingjiu. âI can make the decision.â
Lu Qingjiu smiled. âThank you. This birthday present, I like it very much.â He had never received such a special birthday present before.
With how big this dragon horn was, Lu Qingjiu originally thought that Bai Yuehu had just brought him here to see it. Even though he said that he was giving it to hin, he couldnât take it with him anyways. Who knew that after he said that, Bai Yuehu would press a hand to the dragon horn, and after that, the dragon horn would begin to shrink rapidly, finally stopping when it was the size of a thumb.
Seeing this, Lu Qingjiu was stunned, but Bai Yuehu had already pulled out a thin chain from his pocket in a natural movement, punched a hole directly in the horn, then stringing it onto the chain. Following that, he looked at Lu Qingjiu, then said in a gentle voice, âIâll put it on for you?â
Lu Qingjiu nodded.
Bai Yuehu reached out, and placed the chain around his neck. When Lu Qingjiu looked down, he could see that shrunken dragon horn. If not for him having seen the original form of the dragon horn, it would have been really hard for him to imagine that such a huge thing was actually hanging around his neck. It was no wonder that Bai Yuehu had had to bring him here to see it for himself. If heâd just shrunk it to give to him, and he hadnât gotten to see the dragon hornâs original magnificence, it would indeed be a bit of a pity.
Lu Qingjiu reached out his hand and lightly stroked the shrunken dragon horn, a smile in his eyes.
After putting it on Lu Qingjiu, a satisfied expression appeared on Bai Yuehuâs face. The person before him finally had his scent, he no longer needed to worry about other things coveting him.
Only after giving him his present, then swimming in the sea with Lu Qingjiu for a while did Bai Yuehu bring Lu Qingjiu back to their home. At this point, it was already late at night. Only after checking the time did Lu Qingjiu realise that it was already 3 am.
Bai Yuehu let Lu Qingjiu down in the courtyard. The two exchanged their âgoodnightsâ and each returned to their own rooms.
As Lu Qingjiu lay in bed, he couldnât quite fall asleep. In his arms, he hugged the wooden box his grandmother had left behind for him, as well as that heavily scarred dragon scale that had been inside.
This dragon scale, should probably belong to his grandmotherâs lover. He just didnât know how his grandmother had felt when she decided to keep this scale.
There were a lot of things on Lu Qingjiuâs mind. Only after a long time did he fuzzily drift off to sleep.
The next day, Lu Qingjiu had a rare lie-in. Heâd went to bed too late yesterday, resulting in him only getting up at noon. When he walked over to the living room, he saw the rest of the family sitting in the living room eating instant noodles.
âWhy didnât you guys cook?â Lu Qingjiu asked.
âWe thought that instant noodles would be safer,â was Zhu Miaomiaoâs anguished response. âAfter all, if I were to keep having diarrhea, I might have to visit the hospitalâs anorectal department.â
Lu QIngjiu, ââ¦â¦â
âBut after having diarrhea for a day, all the pimples on my face have disappeared,â Zhu Miaomiao said, âCould it be that the food Yin Xun makes has a detoxifying and beautifying effect?â
Yin Xun said, âDo you still want to eat some? I can make more if you want.â
âNo thanks, no thanks, Iâve already expelled everything.â Zhu Miaomiao waved him off. As a woman, after all, she soon noticed the new object hanging around Lu Qingjiuâs neck. âHey, whyâs there a new necklace around your neck? Who gave it to you? How was it made? Itâs so pretty.â
Lu Qingjiu said, âIt was Yuehu.â
âWa, thereâs a problem with the two of you.â There was an evil smile on Zhu Miaomiaoâs face.
When Yin Xun saw the dragon horn, his eyes immediately grew wide. He clearly recognised what it was. HIs face was filled with disbelief, and his mouth hung open for a really long time, but he still couldnât muster the compuse to close it.
âWhat problem?â Lu Qingjiu asked.
Zhu Miaomiao said, âHahaha I know, but Iâm not going to tell you.â
After they messed around for a while, Lu Qingjiu went into the kitchen to cook. He still hadnât had breakfast, and after having diarrhea for a full day yesterday, his stomach was rumbling, and he was already starving slightly.
In order to get something to eat sooner, Lu Qingjiu made some simple fried rice, wanting to pad his stomach with something first.
Even though fried rice was simple, you couldnât skimp on the flavour. Ham sausages, shrimp, eggs, not one of them could be skipped. After dicing them, he fried them together with the rice. If heâd left the food overnight, it would taste even betten, but in their family, there had never been any leftovers.
Lu Qingjiu fried up a big pot, then had Yin Xun milk the cow for some milk. Everyone gathered to have lunch.
After eating, Lu Qingjiu, who still hadnât quite woken up, went back to sleep. Only when it was past 3 pm, when the sun was high in the sky, did he slowly climb out of bed.
Yawning, he walked into the living room, and saw Bai Yuehu sitting on the sofa alone, watching TV.
Lu Qingjiu poured himself a cup of water, then sat down next to Bai Yuehu and asked, âWhat are you watching?â
âIâm just watching casually,â Bai Yuehu said.
Lu Qingjiu looked up, and found that Bai Yuehu was watching Animal Planet. Animal Planet was currently playing a documentary about foxes. Of course, unlike the fox spirits, the foxes in the documentary all had beautiful orange-red fur, even though it did look pretty.
A family of foxes was living in a huge garbage heap. The fox father and the fox mother lived with their adorable fox babies, looking very happy. Bai Yuehu sat on the sofa, watching extremely attentively.
After watching it with Bai Yuehu for a while, Lu Qingjiu jokingly asked, âIs there anything different about how you live?â
Bai Yuehu said, âThereâs nothing different.â After saying that, he was silent for a moment, before amending, âTheyâre even poorer than I am.â
When Lu Qingjiu heard this, he almost spat out his water.
It had to be said, Animal Planet was actually really interesting. After watching for a while with Bai Yuehu, Lu Qingjiu went to the kitchen to cook. Zhu Miaomiao would only be able to stay here for a few days before having to go back to work, so Lu Qingjiu wanted to make every meal a little richer, to let her eat everything she could.
The types of crops growing in the field were especially numerous in spring, with there being anything and everything. Lu Qingjiu cut the pumpkin he had brought back the previous day into pieces, then grinded it up and mixed it together with flour. He then placed sweetened bean paste in the middle and steamed it. After that, he coated it with a layer of bread crumbs and fried it on low heat. Their homeâs pumpkins already had a strong fragrance, and were both soft and sweet. After being fried, the taste became even better. The outside was crisp, when when you bit into it, hot steaming bean paste would leak out from the inside.
Just as Lu Qingjiu was placing the fried pumpkin pastries on a plate to cool, he saw Yin Xun rush in, hurried. Upon seeing him, he cried, âLu Qingjiu!â
âWhatâs wrong?â Lu Qingjiu asked.
Yin Xun said, âWeâve got a big problem!â
Lu Qingjiuâs movements stilled. âA big problem? What is it?â
Yin Xun said, âYour familyâs fox spirit is actually watching porn in the living room in broad daylight!!â
Lu Qingjiu, ââ¦â¦â He looked at Yin Xun, his face reading âare you seriousâ.
Yin Xun reached out and grabbed a pumpkin pastry, took a bite, and nodded heavily. âOf course Iâm serious! Quickly go out and take care of it!â
Lu Qingjiu quickly wiped his hands, wondering if Bai Yuehu had clicked on some paid channel. He hurried out of the kitchen, wanting to call out upon reaching the living room. But just as he arrived outside, before he could walk in, he heard a very familiar deep male voice: Spring is here, and it is mating season once moreâ¦â¦
Lu Qingjiu, ââ¦â¦â He seemed to have guessed something.
Sure enough, when Lu Qingjiu got a good look at the television screen, he saw two foxes mating. The male fox was draped over the female foxâs body, humping and humping, while Bai Yuehu was watching abnormally seriously with furrowed eyebrows.
Lu Qingjiu inexplicably felt a little embarrassed. Pretending to not have seen anything at all, he turned and left.
Yin Xun was still in the kitchen, decimating the pile of pumpkin pastries. His mouth was covered in bean paste. Upon seeing Lu Qingjiu return, he asked hurriedly, âHow is it, how is it, isnât he watching porn!?â
Lu Qingjiu said through gritted teeth, âHow is Animal Planet considered porn?â
Yin Xun said, âIf itâs not porn, why is your face so red!â
Lu Qingjiu, âMy face isnât red!â But when heâd seen Bai Yuehuâs expression just now, he had indeed felt a little embarrassed, but not to the point that his face turned redâ¦â¦ Probably.
Yin Xun mercilessly exposed Lu Qingjiu, âCome on, your face is as red as a baboonâs ass right now.â
Lu Qingjiu got angry. âJust eat your pumpkin pastry.â
Yin Xun, ââ¦â¦â Are you adults all so easily angered by embarrassment?
In order to keep his pumpkin pastries, Yin Xun decided to learn to shut up. Lu Qingjiu fried the rest of the pastries, then, after he was done, went to the living room and saw that they now had another litter of fox kits. Sigh, he didnât know whether when spring came again next year, if they would be able to hold back a bit, and not teach the children bad things.
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Bai Yuehu asked, âThree years?â
Zhu Miaomiao said, âYeah, they have to raise the little foxes. Of course, this is definitely very difficult. If the little foxesâ lives are unfortunately cut short, theyâll give birth to a new litter in the second year.â As she spoke, she petted the little fox kit that was curled up on her lap and said, âAi, if not for the style of your fur, I would have thought that you were a little fox too, with that sharp little muzzle of yours.â
The little fox kit, ââ¦â¦â Jiejie, can you only identify people by their fur?
Hearing this, a thoughtful expression appeared on Bai Yuehuâs face.
Zhu Miaomiao continued, âFoxes are all very smart. If it were any other animal living in the garbage dump, they might have already died by now.â
Bai Yuehu said, âDo humans really like foxes?â
Zhu Miaomiao, âYep, even though people think of foxes as very cunning, they also think that theyâre the embodiment of wisdom and charm. Otherwise, why would we scold people as being fox spirits, and not wolf spirits or dog spirits.â
Bai Yuehu, âOhâ¦â¦â
As Lu Qingjiu listened to them talk, the more he wanted to rush over to Zhu Miaomiao and get her to stop talking. He pretty much understood why Bai Yuehu was pretending to be a fox spirit, but how was he supposed to tell his familyâs fox spirit that he didnât have anything against his original form? Could he just say it so straightforwardly? What if Bai Yuehu didnât believe him, what should he do then? Before Lu Qingjiu could come up with an answer, he saw Zhu Miaomiao pick up the remote and change the channel. âAnimal Planetâs show is over, letâs watch something else.â
Bai Yuehu said, âEn.â
Zhu Miaomiao casually changed it to a TV drama about a conflict between a daughter-in-law and mother-in-law, and began to watch together with Bai Yuehu with relish.
Today truly was strange. Usually, Bai Yuehu would be lying in the rocking chair in the courtyard, too lazy to even move, but today, heâd actually gotten the interest to watch TV together with Zhu Miaomiao, and was even watching so seriously.
Lu Qingjiu said in a small voice, âYuehu, Miaomiao, do you guys want to eat pumpkin pastries?â
Zhu Miaomiao stood up and said happily, âYes yes? Are they in the kitchen?â
âEn,â Lu Qingjiu said, âI just fried them, theyâre still hot.â
Upon hearing that, Zhu Miaomiao didnât even wait to hear the rest of Lu Qingjiuâs words before rushing into the kitchen, leaving Lu Qingjiu and Bai Yuehu to stare at each other in the living room.
Lu Qingjiu was made a little uncomfortable by Bai Yuehuâs gaze. He let out a dry cough. âYouâre not going to eat?â
Bai Yuehu said, âIâm not hungry.â
Lu Qingjiu, ââ¦..â Huh? He didnât mishear, did he? Bai Yuehu said that he wasnât hungry? Usually wasnât Bai Yuehu the most enthusiastic one when it came to eating?!
Bai Yuehu said, âDo you prefer boys or girls?â
Lu Qingjiu thought he misheard. He let out a confused âahâ. âWhat did you say?â
Bai Yuehu said, âDo you prefer boys or girls?â His tone softened. âI like both.â
Lu Qingjiu felt like he was definitely misunderstanding what Bai Yuehu meant, so even though his face was burning bright red from Bai Yuehuâs gaze, he still tried to calm down and reply, âI like both.â After saying that, he added a very straight âItâs all the same whether you give birth to a boy or a girl!â
Bai Yuehu, âEn, thatâs true.â
Bai Yuehuâs gaze was burning hot. Lu Qingjiu truly didnât dare to keep eye contact with him. He looked away, asking hoarsely, âThenâ¦â¦ Do you want to eat pumpkin pastries?â
Bai Yuehu said, âOkay.â
Only then did Lu Qingjiu rush back into the kitchen like he was fleeing. There, he was greeted with the sight of Zhu Miaomiao and Yin Xun, those two pigs, stuffing the pastries in their mouths and yelping at how hot they were over and over again. Zhu Miaomiaoâs cheeks were bulging. In a muffled voice, she asked, âLu Qingjiu, why is your face so red?â
Lu Qingjiu, âFrom watching Animal Planet.â
Zhu Miaomiao, ââ¦â¦Are you serious?â
Lu Qingjiu, âOtherwise?â
Zhu Miaomiao, this thing, didnât have even a hint of a womanâs reservedness. Upon hearing Lu Qingjiu say that, she actually got excited, rubbing her fists eagerly as she said, âThen youâre really too sensitive, have you seen dolphins mate? Oh my gosh, that lengthââ Itâs damn stimulating.â
Lu Qingjiu thought to himself, Laoziâs not only seen dolphins, heâs even seen slugs. Have you seen a purple âthingâ before? Itâs also damn stimulating.
Yin Xun, this child who had never seen the world, was utterly confused from where he was listening off to the side. âWhat? Dolphins have JJs? Arenât dolphinsâ fish?â Didnât all fish use external fertilisation?
âYou didnât listen in class, did you? Dolphins are mammals. Theyâre known as the rogues of the see, theyâre horrible creatures that would even try to have sex with a fish,â Zhu Miaomiao excitedly began to discuss popular science with Yin Xun, âDo you know that dolphins in aquariums will even try to do it with the keepers!â
Hearing this, Yin Xunâs eyes grew wide. He subconsciously shot a look at Lu Qingjiu.
At this point in time, Lu Qingjiu was very sensitive about such things. This look from Yin Xun ruffled his feathers. âFuck why are you fucking looking at me?â
Yin Xun said, âI was just casually looking.â As if. Me looking at you, isnât this because youâre taking care of a creature thatâs even more terrifying than dolphins. At the very least, his father wouldnât even let off a turtle, tch, it really is that with dreams, anyone can do anything.
Lu Qingjiu looked at Yin Xun suspiciously, he didnât believe that Yin Xun didnât mean anything by his look. âYin Xun, tell me honestly, do you know something?â
Yin Xun tried to look dumb. âKnow what?â
Lu Qingjiu, âOf course itâs aboutâ¦â¦â He originally wanted to say Bai Yuehu, but found that at some unknown point, Bai Yuehu had appeared at the food to the kitchen, and was staring expressionlessly at the three people who were enthusiastically discussing a topic not suitable for children, and hence forcefully choked the words pressing against his lips back down. âOf course itâs about what weâll be having for lunch!â
Yin Xun, âLetâs eat fish to replenish our bodies.â He gave Lu Qingjiu a pitying look.
Lu Qingjiu, ââ¦â¦â What the fuck do you mean by that.
Yin Xun, ââ¦â¦â Nothing, I was just caring about you.
Lu Qingjiu, ââ¦â¦â Speak human.
Yin Xun, ââ¦â¦â Take good care of yourself, your good days are numbered.
After the twoâs silent conversation came to an end, Yin Xun returned to his identity as an idiot. Still munching on a pumpkin pastry, he went out to get Jiang Buhuan to sweep up chicken shit with him.
Zhu Miaomiao was rather slow, and didnât notice the silent undercurrent of tension between Lu Qingjiu and Bai Yuehu. However, she still did feel like the atmosphere around them was inexplicably heavy. âYou two can talk, Iâll also go out and get stuff done.â
Before Lu Qingjiu could stop her, she turned and left.
Thus, in this tiny space, only Lu Qingjiu and Bai Yuehu were left once more. Lu Qingjiu originally thought that Bai Yuehu would say something, but his familyâs fox spirit only shot him a glance, before turning to leave as well.
Lu Qingjiu hurriedly called out, âYuehu!â
Bai Yuehu paused in his footsteps, looking back with a burning gaze.
Lu Qingjiu said in a small voice, âThatâ¦â¦ You havenât eaten your pumpkin pastries.â
Bai Yuehu, ââ¦â¦â
Lu Qingjiu, âAre you going to eat them?â
Bai Yuehu forced out a reply between gritted teeth, âIâll eat.â
Lu Qingjiu, ââ¦â¦â If you want to eat just eat, what do you have such a terrifying look on your face forâ¦â¦