CH 9
Fantasy Farm
â¦Puddle
translator: baumkuchen editor: ellabells, sora harukawa
âAn animal? How is this an animal?â Yin Xun turned his head and looked over at the puddle.
Bai Yuehu idly looked away, not paying him any attention.
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Lu Qingjiu replied: âI donât know⦠Letâs go, just leave it be.â He had a feeling that what Bai Yuehu called an âanimalâ didnât exactly match up with their understanding of the word âanimalâ. If they continued asking, who knew what kind of mindblowing thing Bai Yuehu might say.
Eventually, the three people circled around the little puddle and carried their baskets down the mountain.
Normally, mushrooms were best eaten after being dried out in the sun. This way, they would be safer to eat. However, with Bai Yuehu around, if he said that the mushrooms werenât poisonous, then they were probably fine.
Lu Qingjiu washed the freshly harvested mushrooms clean, and then let Yin Xun bring over the little chicken heâd specially bought for this chicken mushroom stew over. Obviously, this little chicken wasnât a chick, but an immature little rooster, with tender meat and crisp bones. When stewed with mushrooms, it would be especially fragrant.
Yin Xun slaughtered the chicken with a knife, and squatted down to begin plucking it.
Just as Lu Qingjiu was considering whether to bring out some bran from his house to feed the pigs over in the pig sty, his phone started ringing. When he took a look, he found that it was his former co-worker calling. After a momentâs hesitation, he answered the phone.
âHey Zhu Miaomiao, whatâs up?â Lu Qingjiu asked.
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âQingjiu, what should we do now that youâve left?â From the phone came the sad cries of Lu Qingjiuâs ex co-worker, Zhu Miaomiao. âWe all miss you so much.â
Lu Qingjiu: âDoing overtime?â
Zhu Miaomiao: âThereâs been so much overtime, weâre all dying. The worst part is that weâve been unable recruit new employees, and if we do, the new recruits all leave before a month is up, saying that the salary isnât worth it and that theyâre being worked to death.â
Lu Qingjiu replied: âI absolutely wonât come back.â He cocked his head, wedging his phone between his head and his shoulder as he scooped out the bran for the pigs out of its bag, and placed it into a bucket.
âAh!â Zhu Miaomiao let out a miserable cry.
Lu Qingjiu replied: âIs there anything else?â
âWhere in the world did you run off too? I see that the house you rented has been returnedâ¦â Zhu Miaomiao asked.
âI already told you, didnât I? I went home to farm.â Lu Qingjiu replied, âThis afternoon I even went up the mountain to pick a whole pile of mushrooms.â
âWhereâs your old home? I asked for a few days of leave from the boss, I want to come by to play,â Zhu Miaomiao asked.
âAsked for leave? You can still ask for leave?â Lu Qingjiu was shocked.
âWhat? If he didnât let me take a few days off, I wouldâve resigned, so he had to agree in the end,â Zhu Miaomiao replied, âEnough about that, I also want to pick mushroomsâ¦â
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Lu Qingjiu then hung up and brought the feed over to the pigsty. After being raised in his home for half a month, the little pink pigs had grown quite a bit, but Xiao Hua and Xiao Hei still looked the same. Their bodies that were covered in chipmunk-patterned fuzz had not grown a bit. Watching them lower their heads and happily chow down on the pig feed, Lu Qingjiu knocked on the doorframe: âHow is it that you guys can finish all the food but not grow any fatter?â
Xiao Hua raised its head to give Lu Qingjiu a look, its gaze filled with contempt, as if scorning Lu Qingjiu for underestimating their intelligence. Would it be possible for a pig that got fatter to have a good endâ¦
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Lu Qingjiu, who was being looked down on by a pig: ââ¦â
âAi, I was was thinking of releasing you two back into the wild after you guys got bigger,â Lu Qingjiu said helplessly, âCanât you guys work a little harder.â
âGrunt grunt,â Xiao Hua grunted twice, putting down the food in its mouth, its face reading, âI wonât grow bigger, I want to continue to just live off you like a scoundrel.â
Lu Qingjiu was speechless. He even briefly entertained the thought of chasing this little black piglet out of the pigsty and giving it a good beating, but in the end, he still held back, telling himself that he shouldnât lower himself to argue with a pig.
The newly bought little chicks were much cuter than those two pigs. They ran around everyday chirping non-stop, pecking at the stones and bugs on the ground, making the courtyard as a whole much more lively.
Lu Qingjiu cut Yin Xunâs freshly slaughtered chicken into chunks. After giving them a rinse, he stir-fried them in a wok, then added in water and oil, and finally added in the mushrooms theyâd harvested earlier. He stewed them in a pot for a few hours.
The chicken and mushrooms were simply a perfect match. The mushrooms were already deliciously fresh, but with the addition of the tender chicken, it became even more rich and fragrant. Even though he hadnât had a taste yet, his mouth was already watering.
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When Bai Yuehu got back from tending to the fields, he told Lu Qingjiu that the tomatoes had already sprouted and would be ready for harvest in two days.
Lu Qingjiu was shocked. Hadnât it just been about a month? How had they already sprouted fruit? He asked: âReally? Will others find it suspicious?â
âThey wonât,â Bai Yuehu replied, âI explained it.â
Lu Qingjiu asked: âHowâd you explain it?â
Bai Yuehu replied: âI said I used chemical fertilizers.â
Lu Qingjiu: ââ¦They didnât say anything else?â
Bai Yuehu shook his head, yawning: âNo, they just told me that using growth agents on vegetables would worsen the flavour, so they wouldnât taste as good.â Most of the farmers in their village self-produced and self-sold so they naturally wouldnât add any chemicals or such to their crops. After all, they themselves would be eating it.
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âOh.â Lu Qingjiu didnât really know what to say in response, and could only reply, âYouâve worked hard, you should eat a little more tonight.â
Bai Yuehu nodded, looking quite satisfied by Lu Qingjiuâs words.
The chicken was stewed for two hours. It had already become completely soft, and the mushrooms had completely absorbed the flavor of the chicken. After Lu Qingjiu also fried up some pepper steak and some vegetables, dinner was complete.
The three people had a very satisfying dinner. When Bai Yuehu ate chicken, he didnât even spit out the bones. After some crunching, the bones were crushed into tiny pieces by his white teeth and completely swallowed.
Next to him, Yin Xun muttered in a low voice, âYour teeth sure are strong.â Bai Yuehu gave him gave him a sideways stare, the look in his eyes utterly unfriendly, like a beast protecting its food.
Lu Qingjiu suspected that if Yin Xun were to eat a little more, Bai Yuehu would even have something to say about itâ¦
After the three finished their meal, Yin Xun returned to his home while Lu Qingjiu and Bai Yuehu went out to rest in the courtyard. For snacks, Lu Qingjiu brought out some fried melon seeds and braised beef.
âIn two days, a friend will be coming over to visit,â Lu Qingjiu said, âSheâs a woman, and sheâll probably be staying here for a few days.â
Bai Yuehu made an âenâ of acknowledgement. He looked up at the sky, before saying: âTell her not to go up the mountain.â
âWhy?â Lu Qingjiu found it a little strange.
âYou all should avoid going up the mountain for a while,â Bai Yuehu said, âThere are more animals during springtime.â
Lu Qingjiu immediately thought of that puddle theyâd run into that afternoon which Bai Yuehu had called âan animalâ. He replied: âWhat kind of animal was that, anyways?â
âI donât remember,â Bai Yuehu said, âbecause it tastes way too terrible.â
Lu Qingjiu: ââ¦â Seems like for things that didnât taste good enough, Bai Yuehu wonât even bother to remember their names.
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âThey can remember a personâs likeness,â Bai Yuehu said, âas long as youâve seen it.â According to Bai Yuehu, the water was like a mirror. When someone looked over at the puddle, it would remember your likeness, and if the person looking at it just so happened to be alone, it would then drag them in, drown them, and eat their soul.
Lu Qingjiu asked: âWhat happens if youâre remembered by it?â
Bai Yuehu: âItâll come find you.â
Lu Qingjiu was shocked: ââ¦Then isnât Yin Xun in danger!â
Bai Yuehu replied: â Donât worry, most of these things donât come down the mountain. They also move very slowly and only appear during spring. Theyâre useless.â As he casually declared the worth of the creature, he picked up a piece of beef and placed it in his mouth. His eyes narrowed in satisfaction, he said, âDelicious.â
Only then did Lu Qingjiu relax.
By the time the two of them finished most of the beef, the sky had already turned dark. Lu Qingjiu ushered all the little chicks back into the chicken coop, then returned to the house to sleep.
Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.
The next morning, before the sun had even risen, it started to rain. The rain wasnât heavy. It gently drizzled down, the light pitter-patter of rain lulling people back to sleep. As said in the poem Spring Dawn, âin spring one sleeps, unaware of dawnâ, Lu Qingjiu stayed in bed for a long time, unwilling to get up. When he finally got out of bed, he found that Bai Yuehu had already awoken, standing out in the courtyard doing who-knows-what. It had to be said that Bai Yuehu himself was quite the view. The raindrops lightly fell onto his head, giving his hair a slight silver halo. In the haziness of the rain, he looked just like an immortal about to ascend.
On the side, Lu Qingjiu tried to sneak a few photos with his phoneâs camera but Bai Yuehu seemed to sense him and turned his head to look at him.
âGood morning.â Lu Qingjiu placed his phone back into his pocket and calmly greeted Bai Yuehu.
âMorning,â Bai Yuehu said, âIâve fed the chickens.â
âOh oh, thanks,â Lu Qingjiu replied, âWhat do you want to have for breakfast?â
âNoodles,â Bai Yuehu replied, âAlso in the mood for eggs.â
Lu Qingjiu nodded. Just as he put on his apron and turned towards the kitchen, he heard knocking on the door. Thinking it was Yin Xun, he simply yelled: âCome in!â Who knew that when the door was pushed open, it was Zhu Mianmianâs wet face that appeared.
Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.
âZhu Mianmian?!â Lu Qingjiu was stunned. âWhy didnât you let me know when you were coming?â
Zhu Mianmian replied: âWhy bother, I could easily find my own way here.â When she entered the courtyard, the first thing she saw was the expressionless Bai Yuehu standing to the side. Her eyes grew wide, saying, âLu Qingjiu, really youâ¦! I was wondering why you were in such a hurry to go home, so it turns out you were secretly keeping a mistress!â
Lu Qingjiu: âIâm not, I didnât!â
He originally thought that Bai Yuehu would get mad, but he simply turned and left without a single change in his expression, leaving the two of them with a rather profound view of his back.
Zhu Miaomiao looked over at Lu Qingjiu: âTut tut tut, you scum. You didnât even legitimize him. See? Now heâs angry.â
Lu Qingjiu: ââ¦â You really donât fear death.
The author has something to say:
Zhu Mianmian: Whatâs your relationship with him?
Bai Yuehu: Iâm his vixen.
Zhu Mianmian: You two are in a relationship??
Lu Qingjiu: No, weâre just ordinary friends.
Zhu Mianmian: I never knew you were such a scummy man.
Lu Qingjiu: â¦Iâm not, I didnât!
Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.