chapter 15: returned

"What the hell were you thinking?! Didn't you hear me?!" He growled.

I was suddenly un-frozen, frowning. Was he really yelling at me?

"What else was I supposed to do?!" I snapped, furious that this was his greeting after over five months!

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe, wait for me!" He spat.

"Wait for you?! I have been waiting for you! I keep waiting for you! But you keep leaving me!" I let out, beyond furious at this point.

We glowered at eachother for a moment. Then he shut his eyes. His whole body was tense as he put his face in his hands. I stared at him, the anger instantly fading. I was glad, once again, to just have him here, even if we were yelling at eachother.

He relaxed and finally dropped his hands, looking at me. He was much less angry but more hurt. I let out an involuntary groan. I never wanted to see him hurt again. It was exactly what I was trying to prevent.

"Why did you agree? Didn't you pay attention to anything in that dream?" He asked quietly. I looked at him shocked.

"How do you know about my dream?" I couldn't help but gasp. Was this another dream? He waited a moment, then answered.

"Those were my dreams." He whispered.

"What?" I breathed out, confused.

"When men would pass you on the streets when you were living in your human world, the way they looked at you, it really pissed me off. I became jealous. You might not have noticed, but we don't really sleep. We don't even have to but sometimes it's nice to just, you know, dream, I guess you could call it. Usually we pretend we're asleep, like with you--"

I interrupted him, still confused.

"So all this time all of you have only been pretending to sleep?" I wanted to glance over at Shane, to see if he knew about that, but I wouldn't allow myself to look away from Kale.

"I didn't want things to be even weirder for you." He continued. "So, one of the nights after I say you getting eyed, I had a dream. I later found out that you were having the same dream, just by the things you said in your sleep. I tried not to have that dream, seeing it hurt you. I was hoping that you only had the dream when I did.

But I guess since it bothered you so much, you just kept having the dream on your own. Recently, I suspected Dante would somehow get to you and trick you. It was just a bad feeling I had. So I figured in case it happened, I would send you another dream. A warning that I hoped you would figure out. But I guess you only assumed it was just a dream." He finished, seeming to almost talk to himself near the end of his explaination.

That was alot to take in. He didn't really sleep but he could dream, and he could send me his dreams. He could talk to me through them. And then;

"Why didn't you come back with Jacob and Shane?" I asked angrily. He frowned.

"Why did you let him trick you?" He asked, using the same tone I used.

"I asked you first." I glowered at him. He shook his head.

"No, I did." He glowered back. I was about to argue when Shane interrupted timidly.

"He actually did ask you first, Jamie. Right before he told you about the dream...." His voice trailed off.

"I was trying to protect you." I finally spat between my teeth. He rolled his eyes.

"I should have known." He muttered. Then his eyes met mine. "And I was protecting you."

I frowned deeper.

"I hate the way you protect me." I growled at him.

"Well that's just too damn bad."

"Fine." I hissed. "If you keep protecting me like that, then I'll keep protecting you the way I do."

His jaw tensed, his eyes studying mine.

"Damn." He murmured. "You would too..." He stated.

I nodded. Finally he relaxed again and smiled at me. He grabbed my arm, pulling me to him. His other hand touching my face gently, then grabbing it. He leaned down, kissing me the way someone would kiss someone they love who they hadn't seen in months.

"I missed you." He snarled against my lips.

I wanted to answer but my head was spinning. I was surprised I managed to even wrap my arms around his neck. I could only just very slowly nod. I gasped a few times, trying to catch my breath. He pulled away after a long moment. He kept his arms around my waist as he moved the hair out of my face. I opened my eyes, staring into his chest.

"I'll let you breath." He chuckled.

"Thanks." I gasped sarcastically.

He ended up kissing my forehead and that just about gave me a heart attack. So much for keeping me alive. He took a step back afterward. I looked up at him. His eyes locked onto mine, they had gotten slightly darker. I'm sure he needed this little break more then I did. Then a sudden thought, sent my heart racing.

"If the second part of the dream was a warning..." I began, feeling the heat smack my face. His smile was suddenly nervous looking, maybe even shy.

"I've always thought about it. These past couple of months, it's was something I was constantly thinking about. But seeing your reaction to it..." His voice trailed off.

"Oh Kale." I breathed out. His name slipped out but he didn't seem to care that Shane probably heard. "I didn't react that way because you asked me to marry you, I reacted that way because the dream never finished. I always reached for you but we could never take hold of eachother before everything went dark." I shook my head. He looked at me as if surprised.

"You never saw the ending?"

"Not until recently. But that was the warning."

"I'm sorry about that." Then he smiled widely. "But I'm actually glad you didn't see that ending." He gripped me tighter.

"Why?" I gazed up at him. He winced.

"Only in my dreams can I have you like that and not hurt you." He told me. It took a moment but I suddenly understood.

"That's how it ended everytime?"

He smiled again, gazing down at me.

"But I know my dreams could never compare to the real thing."

"Of course not." I grinned, cockily. He brushed the hair out of my face once again.

"So the thought of marrying me doesn't repulse you?" He breathed. I laughed abruptly.

"Not at all."

"Good." He smirked. "Because I'm going to ask you one of these days." He puffed out his chest confident and proud.

"One of these days?" I raised my eyebrow. He shrugged.

"I want it to be perfect."

I nodded slowly. "Well then, I'll be waiting."

"As always." He sighed. "I'm sorry for making you do that."

"As long as you come back, I don't care."

He shook his head. "You can't possibly even begin to understand just how much I love you."

"I think I do. I love you just as much."

"Impossible." He breathed, meeting my lips so suddenly that I didn't see it coming.

He pulled me closer to him. He kissed me for a long time before he reluctantly stopped, looking over my head. I was dizzy. He sighed. I turned around. Shane was poking at the fire, glaring at it almost angrily.

I looked back at Kale. He kissed my forehead and lifted me by the waist, carrying me over to the fire. He set me down beside Shane then sat down beside me. He rested his head on top of mine, keeping his arms around me.

I looked at Shane not able to help my smile, even though he didn't look too happy. I bit my lip. I looked up at Kale again, wondering what this was about and why we were by the fire now. A second passed before I realized he was messing with Shane. I glared at him.

"Jeez, Zero. Be nice."

"He needs to stop looking at you like that." He muttered.

"Looking at me?! Zero, him and Jacob are my best friends."

"When did that happen?" He frowned.

"It's been happening."

"I guess that's my fault." He murmured.

"You make it sound like it's a bad thing." I accused. He looked down at me.

"You two are already fighting?"

All three of us looked behind us at Jake and William.

"They've been fighting." Shane's voice seemed stronger suddenly. Jake let out a laugh. Then he cleared his throat looking at Zero.

"Maverick is keeping Dante at a good distance. It won't be too long before he breaks through Maverick's lines."

Zero nodded as if he already knew all this.

"What's your plan?" Jake asked.

"We have to leave." Zero shrugged.

"And go where? To a different country?" I asked a little bitterly. He turned his gaze on me.

"She's right. No mater where you go, he'll only follow." William spoke up. Zero shot a glare at him.

'Who are you?"

"William the Stray. I think you should turn her."

Zero jumped up.

"William the Stray my ass!" He hissed. "Where did Dante find you?"

"How do you guys not know him when you've all been watching me for five months?" I interrupted.

"He has no scent." Jake and Shane told me in unison.

"Is that possible?" I breathed, stunned.

"I don't even know Dante. I'm just saying, it seems to be the only option you have left." William instantly defended. Zero glared at him.

"Sure. You remember how Anabelle lost Zero's scent?" Jacob answered my question but I wasn't really listening so he didn't say anything else.

Was William on my side now? There was noway he could have anything to do with Dante.

"Get out of here, Stray!" Zero snarled at him.

"Zero!" I hissed at him, jumping up between them as fast as I could. He shot a glare at me. I glared back.

"It's OK, Jamie. Besides, I said until better company, remember?" He smiled at me as I turned to him.

"William, wait." I begged, shaking my head, grabbing his arm. He took my hand from his arm.

"Until we meet again, my little human." He squeezed my hand as Zero growled behind me. Before I could stop him, William spun around, disappearing into the night.

"He's right, Zero and you know it." I turned back to Zero, angry with him for treating William that way.

Maybe William leaving didn't hurt as bad as when I had left the others before but it still made me sad. I knew deep down though, that I was going to see him again one of these days. I was positive of it.

Zero didn't say anything. He was tense again. He finally turned toward me, picking me up by the waist and carrying me into the farthest tent. He dropped me gently on the bed.

"I know!" He growled, frustrated. "Of course I know, damn it. You think I haven't realized this from the very begining?"

"Then what are you waiting for?" I asked, standing up now. He took in a very deep breath, resting his hands on my shoulders.

"I'm trying to wait as long as possible." He said quietly.

"Zero..." I stopped and stared at him, my jaw dropping open. "You—you're going to turn me?"

He swallowed, shutting his eyes. I reached up, grabbing his face.

"Really?" I asked, not able to control how happy I was.

His eyes opened, meeting mine. Then I couldn't be happy anymore. I dropped my hands. I finally came so close to getting what I wanted but I never wanted to see that pain in his eyes ever again. It was more then pain, it was betrayal almost. It was the way he looked at me when Dante asked me if I wanted to be turned and I said yes.

"I'm sorry." I apologized quietly.

He sighed, taking my hands.

"No. I think I've let this go on for far too long. You're too deep into my world already, Jamie. You can't go back to your human life and be safe. I can't see myself leaving you again to protect you." His jaw tensed. "I should have turned you a long time ago." He spoke in the worst pained voice that's ever come out of his mouth.

I gazed up at him. He was serious. Neither of us moved. He gripped my hands tighter. His cool hands held onto mine as if he'd never let go as we fell deeper into eachother's eyes. Finally, he moved his lips slowly to mine. I let myself really feel the softness but at the same time how hard and cool his lips and touch was.

Without wanting to, my whole body began to shiver. I was freezing again! I didn't care but my body did. AS soon as Kale felt this, he pulled away from me. I sighed.

"I'm fine."

His eyes narrowed. What a lie that must have been to him, seeing me still in the now dirty towel. My hair was slowly drying. He spun around but was back before I had a chance to really notice his absense.

"They're Anya's." He handed me a long sleeved shirt and jeans.

I took the clothes, jumping into the jeans. Okay, so I guess I did care I was cold. But the way he was looking at me, I didn't think there was a point in getting dressed. It seemed like he would just end up ripping my clothes off anyways. By the end of this almost hilarious thought, I was already fully dressed. He grabbed my hand again.

"Are you sure you're ready?" He asked, frowning.

"I've been ready." I nodded. He stared at me.

"I don't want to hurt you again." His frown deepened.

I was at a lose for words. He could always tell when I lied, because I was so bad at it. He had already seen how I reacted when he accidently tried to turn me. This was probably going to be one of the most difficult things either of us have gone through.

"Maybe if you had your human life back." He muttered. I glared at him.

"We already tried that, remember?"

He winced. "I'm just saying, it took me a long time before I even slightly accepted what I had become. I just don't want you to go through the pain and then end up regretting it."

"I won't regret it." I promised.

"But I might."

I looked at him again. That really hurt, I'm not sure why but it did. He saw this.

"I didn't mean it like that, Jamie." He said quickly.

"Then what did you mean?" I looked away from him now.

He grabbed my chin, turning my face back to him. He held firmly so I couldn't move again.

"I already told you I don't want to hurt you. Seeing you like that again..." His voice trailed off. "I do love you, Jamie. I want to have you forever, but what if everytime I look at you I feel the aching guilt, with every glance I become sicker and sicker. I don't know how I'll live with myself."

What was I supposed to say to that?

"Kale, I'd rather die knowing you're happy then live an enternity knowing you're completely miserable. I don't want to be your misery."

He let out an almost frustrated groan. He pressed his face into my hair.

"I'm not ready to do this, Jamie."

I wrapped my arms around him. He seemed so set on turning me just a few minutes ago. Now he was changing his mind again. I sighed into his chest. We were both quiet now. He pulled me closer against him. I tried to pull away, to look up into his icey blue eyes. His grip was tight and then he was tense.

"What's wrong?" I mumbled.

"We have to do this now." He said unwillingly.

I was finally able to look up at him as he loosened his grip. He looked down at me, his eyes worried.

"I'll be right back." He suddenly said, pulling away from me.

"What?" I gasped but he was gone.

Did he really just do that? I turned around and I was looking at Kale, Shane and Jake.

"Now what is this about?" Jake asked, gazing at me. Kale moved back to me, putting his arm around me.

"I'm going to turn her."

I looked up at him because there was no emotion in his voice. He was hiding it.

"But Zero--" Jake began, wide eyed.

"No." Zero hissed. "We've been talking about this for a long time now. If she didn't want this from the very begining, there would have been no more discussion."

"You can't do this!" Shane growled now. Zero ignored him.

"I need you both in here. As intimate as it should be, I'm just not sure if I will be able to control myself." His face hardened as he admitted this. Shane and even Jake galred at him.

"Either way, I'm doing it." He glared back at them.

They glared at eachother for a long time. I guess Zero won, because both Shane and Jake looked away. Jake's eyes found mine.

"Please, Jacob." I begged desperately.

Shane's eyes flashed to me then to Jake. A strange sound of defeat came from the back of his throat.

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Well I don't think I really have to explain the picture in this chapter but just for the hell of it; The picture in this chapter is Jamie and Kale