chapter 9: confession

I was with the wolves for over a month before anything exciting actually happened. I spent the time I was awake mostly with Anya and Jason, Shane was around too but didn't say much. At night he still stayed with me but instead of staying quiet, he talked constantly.

Sometimes he would stop, asking me if he was talking too much. I found it funny because I actually liked listening to him. He was very interesting. He would also stop and ask if he was keeping me up. Most of the time, he wasn't. He was like a Jacob to me. We spent alot of time together and became very close.

I was with Shane, everyone else, including Anya and Jason, were gone for reasons I didn't know. They just suddenly stood up, told Shane to protect me and took off.

"What was that about?" I asked, looking at him. He shrugged.

"Sounds like trouble." He commented, poking at the fire.

"Yeah. But what kind of trouble?"

He glanced at me and smiled.

"I'm not sure Jamie. I know just about as much as you do."

I sighed and began to pout.

"They never tell me anything."

He laughed now. "Me either."

I looked at him again.

"I guess we're both in the dark then."

"As always." He said sitting back.

I noticed that all of them treated him differently. They never really told him anything, he seemed almost like an outcast.

"Why do they treat you like that?" I asked, not really meaning to. He looked at me after gazing at the fire for awhile.

"What do you mean?"

I bit my lip.

"It just seems like you're not really a part of this pack." I said quietly.

He didn't say anything. He just looked at me. The fire crackled softly. He looked away very suddenly.

"Can I tell you something, Jamie?" He asked in a whisper.

"Of course you can." I looked at him even though he didn't look at me.

"I don't want you to think of me differently." His voice was suddenly very small. His hazel eyes flickered to me for a moment, then away.

"I won't. Shane, whatever it is I'll understand."

He sighed deeply.

"I know that you know about the shapeshifters." He began. "And that this pack is a shapeshifter pack. But the thing is, I'm not a shapeshifter..."

"You're not?" I breathed. He shook his head. "Then what--"

"I'm probably the most dangerous creature you'll ever meet. I'm a werewolf. I'm extremely different from the shapeshifters and I don't just mean my appearance. Jason welcomed me into his pack, but we're way to different to actually get along. That's why I'm so quiet around them. And that's why they asked me to protect you--"

"Why?" I interrupted.

"I'm 10 times stronger and more dangerous then the vampires and shapeshifters put together." He shrugged. "I don't talk to them because surprisingly they're intimidated by me."

My eyes met his hazel ones and now the color difference made sense.

"But we're different from eachother. You're probably a hundred times stronger then me and we talk to eachother...." I informed him.

"I'm guessing that will probably change." He muttered. I shook my head.

"No. Why would it?"

He gave me a disbelieving look.

"I don't think of you differently. I said I wouldn't, but alot of things make sense." I smiled at him. He looked at me for the longest time, then a soft smile broke on his face.

"You're very curious, you know that? I never thought I'd feel so understood and comfortable around anyone, and a human non- the less." He breathed. I shrugged.

"It's a very curious world we live in."

He nodded. "It is..."

He gazed at me, the fire lighting up his eyes. There was a sudden growling sound, it was a deep snarl. Shane jumped up, alert. I did the same.

"I really don't appreciate a human and a werewolf on our land."

I could tell it was who they called Chief Maverick. He had long black hair, dark brown eyes, dark tan skin and an outfit that I was unsure of. More men stood behind him.

"She needs to be protected." Shane told him.

"From you?" Maverick raised his eyebrow.

"From...others." He hesitated, trying to figure out what to say. He stared at Shane for a long time.

"Do we have vampire troubles?"

I glanced at Shane, not expecting to meet his hazel eyes. He looked at me as if unsure as what to say.

"It's being taken care of." I was barely able to speak. Maverick looked at me now with a raised eyebrow.

"Is that so?"

My eyes shifted to Shane then back to Maverick and I nodded. He frowned.

"And who are you?"

"Jamie." I introduced myself hesitantly.

"Why is Jason's pack protecting you?"

"They're not." Shane told him suddenly. "I am. She's with me. They're just letting us stay."

"Why are you protecting a human?" Maverick raised his eyebrow again but then his eyes suddenly narrowed as Shane spoke without really thinking.

"It's none of your business." He snapped then sucked in a breath, realizing what he said. "I mean, I don't really belong to your pack." He changed his sentence quickly.

"You're on my land."

"Yes, I realize that--" Shane began but was interrupted.

"Why, Chief Maverick! What a pleasant surprise!" It was Jason's voice. "I see you've met our friends."

Maverick turned his attention to the newly arriving wolves. Jason was smiling, but his eyes seemed tense. Each member of the pack looked like they hadn't had rest in days. Anya stood bedside Jason, her hand lightly resting on his arm.

"Indeed I have." Maverick spoke slowly. His eyes shifting back to me and Shane for a moment, then back to Jason. "Although, I find it surprising that you consider them your friends." He raised his eyebrow once again. Jason laughed, his eyes softening only slightly before they tensed again.

"You'd be surprised if you knew all my friends."

Maverick frowned. All joking faded. The atmosphere seemed to shift.

"You know the rules, Jason. Out by day break." He crossed his arms.

Jason stood silent. Maverick took his silence as him understanding. He turned to leave, his pack made a path for him so they could follow.

"Chief Maverick..." Jason suddenly called after him.

I glanced up at Shane, who looked down at me with a confused expression. Maverick stopped but didn't turn back around. The other pack stared at Jason as he continued to speak.

"Dante has been crossing boundaries. He gets closer to the land every night--"

"That wouldn't be the first time a vampire has come onto the land." Maverick interrupted him sharply, then finally turned to face Jason. "This vampire is no friend of yours?" He asked, gazing at him carefully.

Jason shook his head. "No, he's not. It's not his clan we have the, friendship with--"

"Let me guess, your friendship lies with Zero's clan?"

Jason nodded again. Maverick looked at me again for a longer time.

"We'll deal with Dante. But day break still stands. I won't risk it for a human." He finally looked away from me on his last words. Before anything else was said, Maverick and his pack were long gone. Jason sighed very deeply now.

"You'd better go help them." Jason told the majority of his pack. The ones he spoke to, nodded and were gone quickly. This left behind five others, not including Jason and Anya. Jason turned his attention to Shane.

"We're going to go find Jake--"

"We are?!" I asked excitedly, interrupting Jason. It had been so long since I had seen Jake or Kale. I would maybe even be happy to see Anabelle, maybe. Jason's eyes flickered with some emotion, I was too excited to recognize it.

"Jamie," He started kind of slowly. I looked at him with wide eyed excitement that I couldn't control. He seemed to be struggling for words. Then he shook his head and looked at Shane. "I'll tell them how much you miss them." He was looking at Shane but obviously his words were directed towards me.

Before his words could sink in, they were gone. Shane lifted me into his arms suddenly, and we were gone too. It took me a moment for me to find my voice.

"Why?" Was all I managed. It didn't make sense really. Shane looked down at me. I looked up. "Why couldn't we go, Shane?"

He shook his head.

"It's too dangerous." He tried to explain.

"It's not though. It's Jake and Zero...oh, Zero..." It took me a moment, it took my voice to crack to realize I was tearing up. His face became suddenly helpless.

"Please don't...Jamie, I'm not...good with...crying..."

"I'm not crying." I protested as tears ran down my face that I was trying to suppress. A tiny smile was suddenly on his face as he brushed the tears away with the tips of his fingers.

"Yes, you are." He informed me softly.

I bit down hard on my lip. I was crying for no reason. No, there was a reason. I missed him. My heart ached, I felt almost empty. I've been away from him for too long. And to be perfectly honest, I missed Jake too. I missed Jacob. I missed, heart wrenchingly, I missed Kale. I missed Zero. My four favorite guys, my two favorite vampires, my one best friend, my one true love. I don't even care how cliche that sounds. He was the only one meant for me--

"Do you want me to take you to them?" Shane asked in a very small voice.

"But I thought--"

"I can protect you." Shane continued to speak in that same small voice.

"Who will protect you?"

He looked at me startled. "What?"

"From Jason. It seemed like he really didn't want me to go..."

He shrugged.

"He knows how you feel about Zero." A strange emotion flickered across his face, just like earlier with Jason's eyes. "And I think he knows I wouldn't deny you what you wanted, no matter what it is you ask for."

The emotion on his face was different, as if trying to hide the emotion that slipped out. He was trying to hide it before it connected. But I caught it. The expression on his face, the words he spoke. I suddenly understood.

It didn't accure to me before. It didn't make sense. How did it happen? How did I manage three to...feel that way about me? I stared at him for a very long time.

"Shane." I tried to keep my voice even. He was still looking down at me, he waited. "You would really take me to them?" I asked, watching him carefully. A different emotion, pain this time. He nodded though. "Shane..." My voice cracked again. "Shane I--"

"Please don't." He said again. I was crying once more.

"Sorry." I tried to stop it, but it came out as a sob. He sighed, suddenly changing directions.

"I know you're just happy but seeing you cry makes me...ache. Even though you're not in pain, I don't want you to cry." He told me.

I took in a deep breath.

"I'm sorry. It's just...I don't think you realize how much it means to me, that you're taking me to them." My voice was as even as I could make it.

"I'm sure Zero will appreciate it too." As he spoke his arms subconsciously gripped me tighter.

I nodded. We both became very silent. He ran on, the sky was getting lighter. Not too many stars were left. We flew by the blurring trees.

"You should rest." He finally suggested, breaking the silence. I looked up at him, knowing there was no way! I was way too excited. He sighed. "Zero would probably kill me if I brought you to him like this." He nudged his head toward my face. He shook his head. "If you saw yourself, you'd agree. You look tired."

"Thanks." I muttered sarcastically. He smiled.

"Not that you look bad or anything, you just look tired."

"Fine." I murmured reluctantly.

It didn't take too long to fall asleep. Thinking about Kale normally would have kept me up but Shane was right. I didn't want Kale to have any reason to be mad at him. He would be in enough trouble when Kale sees the look in Shane's eyes....As my thoughts tumbled, everything very suddenly went black.

***********

My eyes didn't open, but I woke up sometime later, hearing voices. Since I was just coming to, the voices weren't even somewhat familiar to me.

"She was heartbroken--"

"I understand but I can't let you do this." Another different voice cut in.

"He's right. This will only make it harder for her. We can't be with her. We'll have to leave her all over again." The third voice was familiar. With a sudden realization my heart was beating furiously. My eyes snapped open.

"You promised!" I gasped. He was standing right in front of me. Jacob was at his side. I felt tears rise in me. "Don't leave me." I pleaded. My eyes shifted from Jake to him.

He had just been scowling at Shane moments ago. His blue eyes moved down to me. His scowl was gone. He reached out, taking me from Shane. Shane seemed hesitant to let me go but as soon as he did I was embraced against Kale's rock hard body.

"You were gone too long. I know it was wrong but I had to come get you. I knew you would come for me eventually, but I guess you're just stronger then me..." I cried into the side of his face. He shook his head.

"No, Jamie. I...you have no idea...I..." He stopped abruptly, staring down at me. He didn't want to finish, and he wasn't going to. He said something else. I could tell it wasn't what he really wanted to say;

"You have to go with the wolf." He frowned as he ordered me to leave.

"I know." I nodded.

I wasn't able to take my eyes off of him. We gazed at eachother for the longest time before he tightened his grip then set me down on my feet. Shane was turned away from us, staring up at the rising moon.

He looked tense, even from the back. He tried his best not to show it, letting his arms and hands hang loosly at his sides, but even his fingers were tense. My eyes moved to Jake now as I bit my lip.

"Jacob..."

He smiled, answering me with that one expression. It was then that I noticed Anabelle standing at a fair distance back. She was sneering in my general direction with her arms crossed, looking way too pretty.

"Anabelle..." I acknowledged her. I was too happy to see Kale and Jake to have my mood ruined. She growled at me and looked away. I looked back at Kale. He leaned down resting his forehead against mine. His eyes closed, his arms went around my waist.

"I want a minute, that's all." He spoke to the others. His breath was hot on my lips.

There was no sound but I knew they had disappeared somewhere in the dark, even Anabelle did. He stayed there for a minute then pulled his head back, opening his eyes.

"All i've been doing for the past month is missing you. Missing your warmth and how stubborn you are..." He smiled. I did the same. "Everything." He continued.

He pressed his lips against mine. He held strongly to the back of my head so even if I wanted to, I couldn't pull away.

"You're everything to me." He muttered against my lips. "You know that?" He continued to kiss me. I nodded against him.

"Of course I do." I breathed. "And you're everything to me...More then everything." He kissed me even longer before speaking again.

"It's not over yet Jamie. He's still after you." I forced myself to pull away, looking up at him.

"I'm not with Jason's pack anymore, we can--"

He shook his head. "You have to go with the wolf, he can take you somewhere safe."

"But Kale--"

"Jamie, I want you safe. I'm going to keep Dante away from you and where ever the wolf goes, I won't be able to go."

I tried to push out of his arms but he held on tight.

"It will take forever! If that's how it's going to be, then we'll never be together." I groaned in pain.

"Unless I kill him..." He muttered. I stopped pushing, looking up at him again, horrified this time.

"Kale, I thought we would think of something else."

He sighed. "This is something else, Jamie. Keeping him away from you--"

"Is keeping us apart." I interrupted, then instantly regretted it.

"Exactly. So I think that it's time that Dante and I--"

"No!" I pulled myself closer to him and rested my head against his chest. "Let's just stay together. Please Kale. Please stay with me."

His hand stroked my hair. He rested his chin on top of my head as he pulled me even closer by the waist.

"Go with the wolf."

"You mean Shane." I muttered, interrupting him. He stopped for a moment then continued.

"Go with Shane, just for a little while longer. I don't want to leave you. I really don't but I have to at least for a few more days."

"No." I shook my head. He grabbed my face into his hands.

"I love you. I can't say that enough to you. Now be my good girl, Jamie and let me protect you," He whispered to me. "You don't have to be so stubborn." A low, amused laugh left his lips. I glowered up at him.

"I love you too." I told him through clenched teeth. He continued to laugh.

"Maybe you shouldn't say that when you're angry with me."

I frowned. "I'll try again later."

"I'll hold you to that." He kissed my lips softly. I sighed.

"You'll come get me?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yes. Just a few more days."

"Promise?"

"I promise. I'm going to find you somewhere safe where I can stay with you." He held onto me, resting his face into my hair now.

"Okay," I sighed again. I knew he smiled. He moved and found my lips. "You fight dirty." I muttered against him.

"How?" He laughed but didn't pull back. It almost tickled my lips. I finally pulled back, looking up at him.

"I can't argue with you when you kiss me like that."

He grinned. "But I can't argue with you when you look at me like that. So we're kind of even."

"Not even close!" I laughed. He raised his eyebrow as I spoke. "Your kiss has more power over me then my eyes have over you."

Now he laughed. "That's what you think!"

I cocked my head to the side. "I think I just proved my point."

He shook his head. "Let me rephrase that: I can't say no to you."

I gazed up at him for a long time then rolled my eyes.

"You're a terrible liar."

"Am not!" He let out defensively with a crooked smile on his face.

"Are too!"

He grabbed my face and kissed me again until we heard a noise behind us. Kale sighed heavily, pulling away.

"We have to go now." He frowned.

I groaned, grabbing him tighter. My heart sank. His arms dropped to his side reluctantly. It took me even longer to let go of him. When I did he took a step back. Suddenly Shane was standing beside me, Jake stood beside Kale but Anabelle didn't come out of the darkness.

"Keep her safe." Kale ordered Shane through narrowed eyes.

I bit my lip. He probably noticed before, maybe he had been glaring at him like that this whole time? I wasn't sure. All I knew was he didn't look too happy with Shane. Shane looked away from him but nodded. There was a long moment of tense silence as Kale continued to glare at Shane and Shane tried to avoid his gaze. I cleared my throat.

"Zero." He ripped his eyes from Shane at the sound of my voice saying his name. "Be nice..." I scolded him under my breath, knowing perfectly well that he heard me. He sighed again, taking a step forward, giving me a quick kiss then moving back to where he had been standing. This time he didn't look at Shane.

Jake moved around Kale, throwing his arms around me, which surprised me considering he just saw Kale glowering at Shane. Just as quickly as he had pulled me into a tight embrace, he suddenly disappeared. He didn't say anything or even make any sound. Kale's face was emotionless. My eyes met his and he seemed to force a smile.

"I miss you already." He obviously didn't want to say goodbye again and neither did I.

"Me too." I agreed quietly.

He gave me one last long look then took off before he could change his mind. I don't know how much time passed before I turned to Shane. He had already been looking at me though.

"We should go." He finally told me.

I nodded. Within seconds he grabbed me and once again he was runnning very fast. We ran for awhile. My heart was still pounding from after seeing Kale.

"That meant so much to me." I let out. He glanced down at me, smiling with somewhat uncertainty.

"I know, Jamie."

"Shane!" A vaguely familiar voice called out. He stopped and spun around.

"Jason?" He sounded surprised.

"I ran into Zero, you can stay at our house. It's just off of the land so you won't be bothered by Maverick and Dante wouldn't think to look again."

I gasped. "Does that mean Zero--"

"No." Jason shook his head imediatly. "He still doesn't feel comfortable around us. But I'm sure you'll see Jake soon."

Anya was standing beside him, others were behind them.

"You head there. We'll be there soon." Anya assured.

"Where are you going?" I asked, curious. She smiled at me.

"We have somethings to do."

"We won't be gone long." Jason promised.

"We'll be waiting." Shane muttered.

He took off again before anyone else could speak. He didn't say anything as he ran and neither did I. It didn't take long to get to the house. He stopped on the pourch and set me down as he opened the door.

"Welcome home." He smiled softly, speaking quietly. I smiled back at him as I moved passed him.

"How long do you think it will be before Dante gives you up?" He asked behind me as I went directly into the living room. I turned around, shrugging.

"Good question. I would like to know that too."

I looked at him for a long time, not really seeing him because I was too far thinking about how much longer this was going to last. I sighed. Then for the first time I really saw him. His hazel eyes were surprisingly piercing into me.

"Shane, can I ask you something?"

He looked at me a little taken aback for a moment.

"Of course. Anything."

I sat down now. He did the same, looking at me curiously. I wasn't sure how to ask...

"Why are you so willing to protect me?" I simply asked.

I wasn't looking at him anymore. That question was leading to a very different question. But when I thought about it, my face began to heat up. He looked at me though, I could see him in the corner of my eye. He shrugged after a moment.

"You're just worth protecting--"

"But why?" I interrupted, glancing at him.

"Because...Jake and Zero want me to..." He muttered.

"Really? That's why? You're putting yourself in danger for them?" I asked skeptically. He looked away from me now.

"And I want to." He admitted.

"That really doesn't answer my question." I sighed. He laughed.

"I'm sorry?"

I was staring at him now. He met my gaze.

"What do you want me to say, Jamie? Even if I told you the truth, what good would it do? It wouldn't change anything, so what's the point?"

That almost answered my question, my original question, the one that changed the color in my face.

"Then tell me why you feel that way." I could only whisper. "I don't understand it. First Zero, then Jake and now you--"

"Jake?" He interrupted me, raising his eyebrow. I bit my lip.

"Yeah." I mumbled quietly. "None of it makes sense. All my life I was never looked at twice by any guys and now that I'm in this world with--"

"Monsters." He didn't even let me finish my sentence. I automatically shook my head. He let me continue.

"...Non-humans, it's like I'm most appealing to guys that aren't even human." I continued almost silently.

"Human senses just aren't as heightened as ours. They obviously can't see what's in front of them." He scoffed. "Idiots." He muttered, shaking his head. "Jake too?" He was looking at me again. I nodded.

"Unbelievable, isn't it?"

He waited a moment before answering.

"Not at all actually. I was just hoping he didn't...." His voice trailed off. "Well, now you know, but it still doesn't change anything." Even though he was the one that said it, he still looked at me almost hopeful.

"No. It doesn't change anything at all. I don't want anything to change either. You're too good of a friend to me and I'd prefer to not lose you."

He sighed deeply. "Jake went through this same thing?"

I felt my nose crinkle.

"We haven't exactly had this conversation yet. Not like this, anyways. I think he's still somewhat hopeful." I shrugged.

He laughed now.

"Of course he is. He is Jake afterall. He doesn't give up easily."

"I was afraid of that." I groaned. He contined to laugh, seeing the look on my face.

"You don't like this kind of attention." He stated.

"I'm not used to it and besides, any kind of attention makes me a little...uneasy."

"I'm not so sure it's going to go away anytime soon."

I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Is that some kind of warning."

He looked at me apologizetically.

"I have a hard time controlling myself. I've never felt this way so I'm not even sure how to handle it or how it will progress over time."

"I'll try not to do anything that tempts you."

His eyes widened.

"Good luck with that." He almost laughed again.

"Isn't there anything?" I asked, trying to figure out some way to make this easier for both of us. He shook his head.

"Only if I had no idea you even exist, if I never met you. But it's too late now. I don't think there's anything. But I will try, Jamie. If just being friends with you keeps you in my life, then it will be worth it."

I stared at him. Without realizing it, my jaw dropped slightly. Why would he say things like that? What is wrong with him?

"Are you OK?" He moved his hand back and fourth in front of my face. I swallowed, my jaw snapping shut.

"I just wish you wouldn't say things like that. But I'm glad you still want us to be friends."

He smiled but didn't say anything. Then we heard a noise and the front door opened. We both looked towards the door. Shane instantly tensed.