XIII: An excellent place to start

《 ASPEN GRISWOLD 》

I woke up with the sun shining to my face. The light wasn't orange through my closed eyelids, it was a shade of pink. I sat up, eyes darting around to find Phoenix. It had been just a few days since I last saw him, but those days had stretched to an eternity.

Phoenix wasn't on the beach, so I took a tour, rushing past each ride and booth in a hurry. The smell of popcorn grew stronger by the food corner. I breathed it in, and pressed my hand to my stomach to quiet down its loud rumbling. The soup had made no difference; I was starving again. We needed to go on that scavenging trip, sooner rather than later, and not just because of the batteries.

I was just about to admit to myself that Phoenix wasn't there, when I spotted a tip of a sneaker peeking from the entrance of one of the carriages of the ferris wheel. I didn't run, but I hastened my steps to see to whom the sneaker belonged.

Like I didn't already know it.

I clutched the railing and leaned over it to find Phoenix stretched on the seat, fast asleep. He used his hands as a pillow, but I doubted it made the resting place any more comfortable. I stared at his face, which had lost some of its gauntness, and I started to smile without realizing it.

You're not going to kiss him again, a stern voice in my head interrupted my train of thought the second my gaze strayed down to his lips. I huffed, frustrated to have such limitations, and Phoenix's eyes opened to slits.

“Oh, you're back already.” He muttered, a slow, pleased smile spreading on his lips. Then, he sat up and patted the vacant spot on the seat next to him. He was grinning and the corners of his eyes crinkled, and oh, I wanted to kiss him.

I swatted my unwanted thoughts away and opened the tiny gate, sitting as far away from him as I could without making it obvious. It didn't work, as Phoenix just lifted his eyebrow at me and shifted closer. I could feel tension building in my muscles, making me nauseated, like I didn't know how to be around Phoenix anymore.

“No kiss this time?” Phoenix asked and shifted so close I could feel his body heat. When he bumped our shoulders together, my face turned scarlet and I had to clear my throat.

No, I wasn't going to kiss him this time. We needed to talk things through and decide which steps we were going to take next. We were going to talk about the first kiss before having more kisses to discuss. We were going to talk about feelings, and whether he had those for me, and.. I just wanted to kiss him.

“Have you been working with your magic?” I changed the topic, staring down at my hands.

“How long has it been for you this time?” Phoenix queried, and I turned to him with a blank, confused expression. “It was last night for me. I just saw you yesterday, but I feel like it's been longer on your side.”

“Three days.” I crunched up my face.  “Almost four by now, I think. How long have you been here?”

Phoenix counted his fingers, frowned and then guessed: “A week?”

“A week?” I exclaimed, the sound so loud it echoed in the small carriage. “It's almost winter on our side.”

“Well, fuck.” Phoenix rubbed his temples like he was fighting a headache. “Tell me everything.”

I wasn't certain what he meant by everything, but I told him about the month we spent mourning over him. When I was done, Phoenix still waited for me to continue, so I told him how I fixed Rain's leg but that I hadn't offered to heal Najwa and Rio now that they were down with flu.

“If they ask for it, then I will. But..” I shrugged. They were all afraid of my magic, so I wasn't going to throw it to their faces as an answer to every inconvenience.

“What about water and food, do you have enough of those for the winter?” Phoenix asked, and the mention of food made my stomach rumble again. I slammed my hand to my stomach, grimacing. “What's your opinion about cotton candy?”

“What?” I breathed, just as a cone of cotton candy appeared to my hand out of nowhere. I gaped at it and Phoenix in turn, and was too astonished to hold back my honest opinion about it: “I don't get why everyone is so hyped about it, it just tastes like sugar.”

“Exactly.” Phoenix agreed, nodding his head and widening his eyes like I was the first person who agreed with him. “What about popcorn?”

“Everyone likes popcorn.” I huffed.

“You're right again.” Phoenix blinked and the cotton candy disappeared. He blinked again and a bucket of popcorn appeared in my hands.

I was so hungry that I didn't stop to ask Phoenix if I could dig in. I ate with abandon, stuffing one handful after another of popcorn in my mouth so fast I got them all over myself. I had never tasted anything so delicious, and I wanted to sob when the bucket was empty. But then, it was full again.

“Do you.. want one?” I offered, as my stomach was no longer taking all my brain space and I realized how animalistic I had been right in front of Phoenix. He just grinned, looking at the bucket with a sort of longing.

“I don't really get hungry anymore.” He explained, but plucked popcorn between his fingers and munched it. “I don't get sick either. But you might.”

“Ugh.” I groaned, pushing away my half-eaten second helping. It disappeared before I could start to regret my decision to stop stuffing myself to a point of throwing up.

“So.” Phoenix leaned back against my shoulder. “I'm working as fast as I can, but like I said, it's only been a week. You should stock up for winter.”

“Najwa and Rio can't go anywhere and.. I don't want to leave the cottage.” I started to fumble with my sleeve, picking at the seam. “I want to be there in case you need me.”

“Aw, I'm flattered.” Phoenix smirked and nudged my shoulder, making my face burn. I pursed my lips and made a show of angling my face away from him. “But you know, even if it takes a week it's only going to be a day here.”

“You really think I should go?” I asked, surprised. “I could wait for Rio to heal or use my magic, and then I wouldn't have to leave at all.”

Phoenix thought it over, then told me: “Nah, it'll be good for you and if someone tries to attack you, you'll have better chances of keeping Rain and yourself safe with your magic.”

“Have you always been this smart or is this place?” I asked, and a brilliant grin that showed all his teeth spread on Phoenix's lips. “Fine, I'll go. I can take your Walkman with me.”

“My.. what?” Phoenix's grin fell, and he fixed a wide-eyed stare at me.

“Your Walkman. I took it with me that night and.. I’m not even sure why, but I did. I asked Rio to help me fix it. Did you know that super glue works for pretty much everything?” I started rambling and lowered my gaze to the seam of my sleeve I was pulling.

When Phoenix still didn't say anything, I turned to him again. His face was blank, his lips parted and he had an unreadable look in his eyes. I had a sudden sense that he was angry at me. I had broken his Walkman and he didn't need another reminder of it.

“You'll get it back once you wake up. I was just.. I wanted to do something nice for you, that's all. But I'm sorry if I o—” Phoenix cut me short by squeezing his arms around me, his grip around me fierce. He buried his face in the crook of my neck and took a shuddering breath.

“You have no fucking clue how much that means to me, so thank you.” He whispered into my neck, his breath warm against my skin. “Seriously, thank you. You are amazing.”

My cheeks were aflame at that point, and I only managed to hum a low ‘hmh’. I circled my arms around his waist and Phoenix snuggled closer. He mumbled something I couldn't make out, so I asked him: “What was that?”

“I said: even if you won't ever let me kiss you again.” Then he pulled back, examining my face with his hands on my shoulders. He narrowed his eyes, and began to bombard me with theories: “Was it bad for you? Did you have a sexual crisis and decide that you are straight after all? Do you not miss me that much anymore? Do you not actually want to ever do it again?”

“Uh. No. Sort of, I mean, have sort of a crisis. I missed you. And.. I do want to kiss you again.” I answered his questions as fast as I could and let my hands drop from his sides.

“But..?” Phoenix queried.

“I shouldn't have skipped all the steps. I shouldn't have kissed you, before we even.. I don't know.” I huffed out a frustrated breath. Where were the words when I needed them? “I don’t want to fuck this up, okay?”

Phoenix's eyebrows lifted and as he glanced at me with admiration, I realized it was the first time he heard me swearing. Then his gaze softened, the gold swirling in his irises in lazy circles. He tucked at my sleeve and smiled, telling me: “For the record, I didn't mind. The kisses were nice.”

We sat in silence for a while, until a mischievous glint appeared in Phoenix's eyes and he turned to grin at me. He asked: “Does that mean that you want to court me?”

“I don't know about courting, but.. We should at least make sure we're on the same page first.” I muttered.

“Okay, well..” Phoenix stated, firm and poised, but then hesitated. “I'm certainly no expert on these things, but kissing would be an excellent place to start and then we can see where it goes from there.”

“You just want to kiss me again.” I grinned at him, and he mirrored it with his own that said oh well you caught me. “Okay, that might work.”

Phoenix licked his lips and I cleared my throat, my heartbeat thudding in my ears. Phoenix's fingers were a solid weight around my biceps and I placed my hands on the sides of his neck. We leaned in, my eyes fixed on Phoenix's lips and.. A shadow fell over us.

I didn't have time to think it through, I just threw myself between Phoenix and the cloaked figure. I lifted my glowing hands, invoking my magic, a warning for the person to back the hell away from Phoenix. No one was going to take him from me ever again.

––––

I have found my writing motivation again! The previous two chapters weren't that good, but I believe this one was a bit better already.