16. Noah, my little guardian angel

Chapter 16: Noah, my little guardian angel

Kelsey's POV

*****

Two days had passed since the day at the amusement park, and Meg and I hadn't uttered a single word to each other since.

Ethan had also tried to avoid me as much as possible, and I hadn't done anything about it much either. I didn't know if it was because we had almost kissed, or if it was because he ran off with Jenna after we did, but all I knew was that I preferred it that way.

For a little while at least.

That day was also the day where Noah had to go off to music camp for an entire week. I knew that I would really miss him, especially since we had gotten a lot closer those past couple of days.

His mother had told me that he was going to be a tough nut to crack, but when he could feel that he could trust me, he would be one of the sweetest people ever.

To me, however, he was just this sweet little fifteen-year-old kid who was always willing to help anyone, as well as give advice to anyone who would seem to have needed it.

After all that had happened, he had tried to be my best friend and give me advice on what to do. I felt comfortable talking to him.

He had a gift. He knew exactly what to say to people and if I didn't want him to become a musician so badly I would have said that he would have made an amazing therapist.

He even helped me to try and understand everything that was going on with Ethan, and yes Noah knew everything. Even to the point where Ethan and I were about to kiss, no matter how awkward it was to talk about it with Ethan's brother at first.

I didn't know what I was going to do without Noah. Having him around made me feel a bit less alone, and knowing that he was going to be gone made me feel slightly lost.

It was so funny. An almost seventeen-year-old counting on a fifteen-year-old.

A seventeen-year-old who was supposed to be taking care of the fifteen-year-old.

He was honestly the closest thing I had to a best friend at the time, and I knew that Meg wasn't going to be coming around any time soon.

One of the many things that I knew about Meg was that she was really stubborn and hard headed. Whenever she put something in her head it was difficult to change her mind, no matter how much you tried to explain.

"Okay, I'm ready to go," Noah said, walking down the stairs with his bags.

As soon as he stepped foot on the first floor tile, I instantly engulfed him in a huge hug.

"I'm going to miss you so much No," I said.

"I'm going to miss you too Kels. But hey, I'm going to tell you something right now and you're going to think about it okay?" He said, setting his bags down on the floor and looking me dead in the eye.

I nodded my head, like a little child waiting for a speech from her mother, showing him that I was listening.

"I talked to Ethan, and frankly, I think you should talk to him too, or at least listen to what he has to say. I also called May to ask her about Meg and she told me that she feels really bad and that she hasn't been the same, so I say talk to Meg as well. I feel bad that I'm not going to be here for you for a whole week but I know that Ethan will," Noah said, sending me a wink.

I had known him for almost a month and I still couldn't believe how maturely he acted for a fifteen-year-old.

That boy never seized to amaze me.

"Hey, what are you guys talking about?" Ethan asked, looking at me and looking away immediately after.

"I was just telling Kelsey how I would love it if you guys both took me to camp, together," Noah said, making me widen my eyes at him.

He had put me in such an awkward situation. I didn't want Ethan thinking that I had planned the entire thing to get him to talk to me.

"Is Kelsey okay with that?" Ethan asked, looking at me questioningly.

At least he didn't seem like he had that much of a problem with it.

I simply nodded, knowing that Noah was right. I did need to talk to Ethan, and not as if we were two seven-year-olds fighting for the last doughnut. We needed to have an actual, mature conversation.

"But who's going to take care of Ellie and Lara?" I asked.

I knew that I had to talk to Ethan, but I also couldn't abandon my work like that. Taking care of the children was my responsibility.

I certainly wasn't going to leave two little girls on their own.

"Oh, we can just take them over to May's house," Noah said, a mischievous smile on his face.

Have I mentioned how much I loved the kid?

He seemed to have thought about everything, even if he did make me seem like the worst babysitter on the planet.

****

"We'll be here soon, I want you guys on your best behaviour," I told the girls before Noah rang Meg and May's doorbell.

My heart almost jumped as soon as Meg opened the door. I hadn't seen her since the fight, and it's always weird seeing someone whilst you're having a fight.

"Hi Meg, I came to say bye to you and May," Noah said with one of his award winning smiles.

"Oh, of course, I'll call May down," Meg said, taking a quick glance at me before looking away.

Noah instantly gave me a look, and I immediately understood what he was trying to say.

"While May and Noah talk, you two can help me make some cookies, go into the kitchen and wash your hands," Meg told Ellie and Lara with a smile.

"Yay!" They both squealed in delight, high fiving each other.

Meg was really fond of the two girls, and the same could certainly be said about Ellie and Lara, and the fact that they were both crazy about cookies certainly helped.

"Meg, wait!" I said, before she turned around to leave.

I knew that it was either then or never.

"Yeah?" She asked, turning back around, looking everywhere but directly at me.

"I was wondering if you could take care of Ellie and Lara while Ethan and I accompany Noah to camp," I said, feeling the awkward tension in the air.

"I want to go with Noah too," Lara whined. "I'll miss him."

"Lara you can't," Noah quickly said, giving her a stern look.

Meg just sighed and nodded her head. I could tell that she was disappointed about something, and I had a feeling it was because she thought I was going to apologize yet didn't.

"Yeah, I'll take care of them," she said with one of her easily recognizable fake smiles, leading Ellie, Lara, and Noah inside.

"Meg," I sighed, stopping her from turning around once again as soon as the kids were out of sight. "I'm really sorry about what happened. I never wanted you to get mad. All I wanted was to hear her out, see what she has to say for herself. You let Aaron explain but you won't let Leah. She was our best friend once. We can't just forget all of that and throw away our friendship forever," I said, trying the best I could to make her forgive me.

I wanted her to know that I never meant to take it too far. My intentions weren't at all bad ones.

"You know what, I'll just be in the car," Ethan said sadly before walking away, breaking my heart a little.

He seemed upset, and if I wasn't in the middle of apologising to my best friend, I would have instantly gone after him.

My apology to him was going to have to wait for at least a couple more minutes. My friendship with Meg was one of the most important things for me, and I couldn't push back the apology any further.

"It's okay Kels, I forgive you. I'm sorry for acting like that, I never meant for any of this to happen," she said, hugging me.

"Thank you," I said in all honesty, relief washing over me.

I was glad that she accepted my apology and that she didn't hold a grudge. She was going to be leaving for a ski trip soon, and I didn't want her to leave while being mad at me. I wanted her to still be my best friend while she was away.

I was so glad that she actually accepted my apology.

"It's okay, I don't want to be leaving for my trip holding a grudge against my best friend. And I'll listen to Leah on one condition, that is, if you listen to Ethan," she said, glancing towards Ethan in the car.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, pretending to be oblivious of the situation, despite knowing that I couldn't fool her like that.

She gave me a look that instantly showed me that I wasn't going to play her any time soon. Meg knew me far too well to believe that.

"Something's definitely going on between you and Ethan, and I think that you need to figure it out," she said, placing one of her hands on my shoulder.

I looked back towards the car and saw Ethan with his head in his hands, a look of devastation written all over his face.

It made me feel horrible to see him that way, and the thought that I was the one who caused that made me feel even worse. He didn't deserve me being mad at him, and I wanted to make things right.

"Noah has been telling May what's going on, and May has been telling me. Noah really cares about you, you're very lucky, but now, go and fix things with E," Meg said.

I simply hugged her one more time, feeling grateful to have such an amazing best friend by my side who cared about me as much as she did. I then walked towards the car whilst still waiting for Noah to say his goodbyes to May.

"Hey," I said as I sat down on the passenger seat.

"Hey," he said as he looked at me.

"Why did you leave like that?" I asked him softly, not wanting him to think that I was intruding in his life.

"Well, it's because seeing you talking with Meg about your friendship and about how you want Meg to give Leah a chance to explain so you don't throw away a friendship, it made me feel like such an idiot for trying to avoid you. It's like neither of us is giving the other a chance to explain or work stuff out, and that hurts Kels," he said, making my heart clench and making me smile at how sweet everything he had just said was.

"I know, and I'll let you explain. That's why I agreed to drive Noah with you. I don't know you that well yet, but I really want to. I want to know the real Ethan Walker," I said, giving him a friendly smile.

I wanted him to know that I was trying. Just as I wasn't willing to give up on my friendship with Meg or Leah, I was also not willing to give up on my friendship with Ethan.

Not many people knew who the real Ethan was. I had always noticed people believing what they wanted to believe with regards to him. I wanted to be different.

He looked at me in disbelief, a slight smile on his face. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, but not now. After we drop Noah off, we'll go some place quiet to talk," I told him.

I didn't want my summer to be full of drama and heart aches. I wanted to have a good summer. One filled with possibly new friendships.

Ethan just nodded before Noah got in the car, ready to drive off for camp.

"Okay, let's go," Noah said with a huge smile on his face before Ethan started the car, heading off to Noah's campsite, my heart saddening at the fact that he was leaving.

****

"I'm going to miss you so much Noah," I told him as I engulfed him in a huge hug for like the fifth time that day.

"I'm going to miss you too Kels, but please stop choking me," Noah said before I let go. "I'll call you everyday and you have to tell me what goes on in your life," he continued.

"You too champ," I replied, sending him a smile before receiving one back.

I loved how close Noah and I had gotten, he was like the brother I never had and I appreciated that.

"Well, I have to go now, bye Eth, I'm really going to miss you bro," Noah said as he fist bumped with Ethan.

"I'll miss my little bro too. Don't get in to any trouble," Ethan said, ruffling his hair.

"Yeah, same to you," Noah said as he quickly nodded towards me.

"Got it," Ethan chuckled, making me feel even more confused.

"Bye guys," Noah said, running off.

"Bye Noah," Ethan and I both said at the same time.

After Noah had completely disappeared from sight, it was just Ethan and I. In a way, I longed for that moment. I wanted to get everything off my chest, start afresh.

"So, where should we go?" Ethan asked me as he put his hands in his back pocket, a small smile on his lips.

"I don't know, we can just go to the park and talk in the car if you want," I suggested.

I would have preferred to talk some place quiet, where we couldn't be interrupted. That was probably the only chance I could get to properly talk with Ethan. I didn't want to mess it all up.

"Yeah, sure," he said as he got back into the car and starting it, making his way to the park.

When Ethan finally found a parking space he turned around to face me and I did the same, trying as much as I could to not let the nerves get the best of me.

"So," he started off.

"So," I continued.

"Listen Kels, what Jenna told you wasn't true. The truth is that when you went to call Noah and Meg, Jenna said she left her phone in the car and asked me to go with her. I didn't feel like arguing with her so I decided to go. After searching for it in the car she realised it was with her the whole time so we went back to where you guys were," he said in one breath.

"Okay," I replied. "But you guys came back laughing together," I stated.

Ethan just sighed before continuing his story.

"On our way we saw this comedian guy wearing a tight cat costume...How could we not have laughed at that?" Ethan said, grinning at the thought.

"A guy? In a tight cat costume?" I asked not believing my ears.

"Sounds crazy but it's true," he said.

"Okay Eth, I believe you I guess. I don't know if I was ever mad at you in the first place," I replied honestly.

I was ashamed to even say that, but it was the truth.

"Then why have you ignored me ever since? Is it because of the kiss...Or the almost kiss?" Ethan asked, making sure to whisper the last bit, even if it was just the two of us there.

"I don't know, maybe," I replied. "It's just, what would have happened if Aaron never interrupted us?" I asked him, finally voicing out what had been on my mind for the past few days.

I needed to get everything off my chest.

"I don't know, all I know is that in that moment, I really wanted to kiss you," Ethan said all at once, his cheeks tinted pink with embarrassment, leaving me surprised at what he had just said.

"Ethan, you can't tell me this. We haven't even known each other for so long, why would you want to kiss me?" I asked.

"Okay for starters, I've known you since we were like three years old and we were even friends in kindergarten," he started off. "And second, I don't know, maybe it's because I feel happy when I'm with you, I love spending time with you."

"Yeah Eth, I love spending time with you too. We work great together, but it doesn't mean that we have to have feelings for each other," I replied, feeling slightly guilty that I may have hurt his feelings.

I didn't miss the slight look of disappointment on his face, but what I told him was for both of our good.

I couldn't deny that we had gotten closer those couple of days, and even I had grown fond of him. That was why I was afraid of one of us mistaking that for a crush. I didn't want either one of us to get hurt, and that was why I said what I said, despite probably making me look like the bad guy.

"Okay," he sighed. "Look, this is really hard for me to say, and I can't believe I'm actually saying it, but the truth is, I don't know what I feel. I really wanted to figure it out," he replied, taking me slightly by surprise.

He had basically admitted that he may have had feelings for me, and he wanted to kiss me to try and figure out if those feelings were there. It was a lot to take in, and I didn't know what to even think of it.

"Ethan, it doesn't work like that. I mean, imagine if I liked you, and you kiss me and give me the wrong idea and you somehow realise that you were just imagining those feelings. It would hurt me a lot. That's not okay Eth," I said, slightly mad and confused.

It didn't work like that. He couldn't just use a kiss as an experiment.

"I know it was stupid of me, I would never want to hurt you," he said, bring a smile on my face. "Can we forget that this ever happened and just be friends? I will never do anything stupid like that again but please, I want us to be able to talk again. I miss you," he desperately said, looking at me for an answer.

I nodded my head, leading to a sigh of relief escaping his mouth.

It wasn't going to be easy for me to forget that that ever happened, because honestly, what Ethan said made sense. I wanted to know what I felt for him too. I had been getting strong feelings for Ethan, but I still didn't know what they were, and that was why I couldn't jump to any conclusions until I were sure.

There were so many things that were keeping me from wanting to be with Ethan.

I knew that falling for Ethan would have made me an unprofessional babysitter. I couldn't risk passing my boundaries. I also still couldn't forgive the fact that he turned me into a joke when we were younger, who was to say that he wouldn't do that to me again?

Apart from that, I also knew that if we were to break up, my relationship with his siblings would have been ruined forever.

I had certainly been hurt before. I was a weary person when it came to trusting someone with my heart, and I didn't know Ethan that well to be able to give it to him.

I just wanted to protect my feelings.

It was sweet of him to beg for my forgiveness, but I had to forget about my feelings for Ethan, whatever they were. He only always went out with girls for fun and I didn't want to be another dummy to fall for it, my heart had been broken once too many times.

I was not a toy that you could play with whenever you liked to then just throw away.

No one is.

A/N: Hey guys, I'm sorry that this chapter was kinda shitty, I guess you can call it a filler chapter. I promise you that the next one is going to be amazing so please don't hate me for this chapter. I was really busy and a lot of you guys asked me to update so I decided to make you guys happy and wrote the best chapter I could think of at the moment. But I promise promise promise that you're going to absolutely love the coming up chapters okay?

Anyways thank you guys soo much for your constant support and your nice comments, I honestly love them so much and when I'm having a bad day I love to read your lovely comments because they make me feel happy. Anywho enough with this boring Author's note.

I love you guys

~M