20. Fix her

Chapter 20. Fix her

Ethan's POV

*****

Was it bad that I felt jealous of Noah's relationship with Kelsey?

I wished I could have been the one she trusted with anything and everything. I wished she would laugh with me as much as she laughed with Noah. I didn't know why I was feeling that way. I knew that there could never be a romantic relationship between them, but I was still jealous of their friendship.

I wanted to be the one responsible for her happiness, and for her smile, and for her laugh but instead, I was responsible for her sadness, and I couldn't have felt worse.

I could have had that.

It was my fault after all. I was the one who made her think that I couldn't stand being around her, and she was making sure that I didn't have to.

The day I kissed Kelsey was so much different than I had planned. I was scared. I had never been that scared after kissing a girl. Then when she rejected me, I was hurt. I felt like she didn't want me and I felt humiliated that she rejected me after finally having mustered up the courage to tell her how I felt.

It hurt me that she said she liked me but that she didn't want to be with me. It made me scared that she was judging me about my past. Yet as time went by and I got to thinking, I realised that maybe that wasn't exactly what had happened.

A part of me was also jealous. With Aaron coming back and her acting so nice to him. He was her ex for God's sake! He hurt her and she was so sweet with him.

But I was wrong to be jealous. Kelsey was really sweet and kind, she could never stay mad at a person who tried to be nice with her. It was when you didn't try where she snapped.

I should have never reacted the way I did. She didn't deserve it. She was not selfish, let along annoying and a burden.

"Ethan, we need to talk," Ellie and Lara said in unison, snapping me away from my thoughts.

"Hey girls what's up?" I asked as they both sat next to me, leaving me in the middle of them.

"What's up is that we don't want anymore frowny faces on our pancakes!" Ellie angrily said.

I looked at them in confusion. I had no idea what on earth they were talking about.

"Don't mind her," Lara said, sending Ellie a glare.

I couldn't help but chuckle at their cuteness. Everything was so much easier at their age.

Almost everything.

"We wanted to tell you that we don't like that you hurt Kelsey," Lara said.

"How do you know that?" I asked, shocked that they even knew that.

Lara gave me an 'are you serious' look before speaking.

"Please Ethan, you two have been upset for days, and considering how happy Kelsey always I,s something must have happened," Lara said.

Hearing those words hurt me more than I thought. Lara was right, Kelsey was always so happy and I went ahead and broke her.

"What on earth can I do? She's not even talking to me right now," I said in frustration.

I wanted to make things better, but I didn't know how on earth to do so.

"Fix her," Ellie said before the both of them hopped off the couch and left.

I broke Kelsey, what the hell could I do to make her happy?

That was why I didn't want to develop feelings for her. I knew that I'd just end up breaking her like I had broken every other person who was ever around me.

But Kelsey was not every other person.

I walked in my room and just flopped onto the bed, thinking about why I was made like that. Why I had to break everything I touched and cared for.

"Hey bro," I heard Noah say as he walked in and flopped down beside me.

"Weren't you unpacking with Kelsey?" I asked, the sense of jealousy coming back.

"Are you jealous?" Noah smirked, looking at me.

"What?! pfft, no," I denied.

"We just finished, and Kelsey decided to get started on dinner, then she realised we're out of food, as always, so she decided to go get some pizzas from Jeff's," he replied.

"How is she?" I instinctively asked.

"How do you think she is Eth?" He said making me sigh. "You know, she was so happy that you two were starting to be friends, and she was so worried about what to tell you after everything happened because she didn't want to lose your friendship."

"I messed up Noah," I admitted.

It wasn't like he hadn't already realised that, but I felt like I had to admit it out loud for me to get truly grasp it.

"Yes, you did. But you have to fix it somehow. She's precious Eth. I see how happy she makes you. You haven't been this happy since the time mom and dad got you Bradley," he said.

I smiled at the memory.

Bradley was my dog. He was my best friend and I loved him like I loved my siblings, heck maybe even more. One time we were walking in the countryside and suddenly my favourite necklace that my gran had given me fell on the street. Somehow, he knew how much it meant to me so he went to get it.

He got hit by a car. I tried to stop it, but I couldn't. He died instantly and the driver didn't even stop.

It broke me.

And who killed him?

Well, that's a story for another day.

"Losing her made you as sad as when you lost him," he said.

"No it did not."

It did.

"Besides, what can I even do to fix it?" I asked, the sense of failure coming back to me.

"You're the one who will have to come up with that, but my advice is to actually try doing something instead of just chickening out and feeling bad for yourself," he said before patting me on the back and going out of my room.

Did I just get schooled by a 15-year-old?

*****

I couldn't sleep a wink that night. I couldn't stop thinking about what Noah told me. He was right, I had to actually try and do something.

I couldn't give up on her, she was too precious for me. I should have never called her a waste of time because she sure as hell was not.

There was only one thing left for me to do, and if it was what it took to make Kelsey happy again, I was willing do it.

I would fly to the moon and back if that meant making her happy again.

I needed to prove to her that I was willing to wait for her and that I was not the player that everyone thought I was.

Yes, I hung out with a lot of girls, and yes, I enjoyed it. No, I didn't like all of them romantically, and no, I was not gay, though there would have been nothing bad in that.

All of that didn't mean I couldn't care about a girl that made me happy just by smiling at me, a girl who understood me more than anyone ever had. I couldn't let a girl like that escape away from me.

Her happiness was contagious, even Noah was very fond of her. Noah had a bit of trouble connecting with people, but Kelsey had something special. She never stopped surprising me.

I kept thinking about what Noah had said, I had to try and do something. There was no use to just stay thinking about it without even trying to do anything to make it better.

After thinking about it for a while, a light bulb switched on. I needed to do something to prove to Kelsey that she was worth the wait, that I was willing to do anything to make her happy. I was going to need help to pull it off, but if I were to manage, I would surely succeed.

A/N: Helloooo jellybeans! long time no see....Or is it?! *Makes a creepy stalker face* So what do you think about Bradley? What should Ethan do to fix it? Also I've decided to make these author's notes fun for you to read so hopefully I'd make a person's day ten times better.

BTW I love the shirt you're wearing rn. Yes you! JK I can't see you *Makes another creepy stalker face* Alright that's not fun that's just creepy...I should get a life. Mkay byee