52. Alongside one another

*Pic of New York on top, listen to the song when I tell you to*

Chapter 52: Alongside one another

Kelsey's POV

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A week had passed since I moved to New York, and as the first day of school was drawing nearer, I could feel my nerves increasing. I had to start everything all over, with different syllabuses than I was used to, and I was slowly starting to freak out the more I thought about the work I had to do to keep up with everybody else.

One positive thing about the move to New York was that our temporary house was a really beautiful. A kind person from my dad's new workplace offered it to us free of charge for a short time until we were able to settle down and find a new place for ourselves.

It was an amazing house, not too big but not small either. It was big enough for me and my dad, with its two floors, a backyard, and a garage. Yet, no matter how beautiful it was, it couldn't compare to my old house, which despite being much smaller contained all of my memories. No house could ever be like that one.

Sleeping there was becoming really hard, and the dark circles underneath my eyes started becoming more visible. I couldn't stop thinking about my friends back home, and despite knowing that New York had to become my new home, it couldn't. Home was always going to be where my friends were, no exceptions. The only thing that had been able to help me sleep at night was the CD that Ethan gave me, his voice and Noah's helping me sleep. I closed my eyes every time I heard that CD, feeling like they were right there with me, just like they had always been.

Then, I remember that they're not.

Thankfully, I had managed to talk to the Walkers and Meg everyday, but the person I truly wanted to talk to never seemed to be there. Ethan's basketball practice started a couple of days after I landed in New York, not giving us any time to be able to talk to each other. The difference in time zones did not help our situations either, because when it was day time in New York, it was night time back home. To my luck, Ethan always managed to send me a voice message every night before I went to sleep to wish me goodnight, and even if I loved hearing his voice, it was just not the same as having him there with me.

Everyday I woke up with the fear that he might have found someone else, making him forget all about me. I knew that it was a selfish move from my end, and I hated myself for it, but when you really love someone, you can't really help it. It didn't matter that we were practically best friends-it would still break me to know that there was someone else in his life to make him as happy as I once did, but unlike me, that person would be able to have her forever after with him.

I would have certainly been happy for him if he ever were to find someone that made his life a little brighter, but the love I felt for him would override that happiness. It's something hard to understand if you never felt it, and that was why I knew I couldn't talk about it with anybody. If someone were to hear my thoughts, they would certainly call me selfish, saying that he deserved to be happy, and even if I would agree with them completely, I would tell them that a heart that loves is a heart that breaks. I was human, it was something greater than I was.

"Kelsey, I'm going to sign the work contract in an hour. Would you like to join me?" My dad asked as he gently knocked on my door and popped his head inside, breaking me away from my upsetting thoughts.

"Yeah sure, I have nothing better to do anyways," I replied with a small nod.

I was happy for my father. He was going to start working as a music composer, and I was glad that his talents were finally being discovered. He was very good with music, but every company that could have helped him, did not have enough faith in him. That was exactly what lead him to send his music to a company in New York, who contacted him and asked him if he wanted to compose music for movies. It was a job that payed really well, more than okay, and I was ecstatic that my father was going to get to finally live his dream.

My dad gave me a peck on the forehead before walking out my room, getting ready for his contract signing. Meanwhile, I switched on my laptop and opened skype, wanting to call Meg.

"Hey girl," she said as soon as she accepted my call. "How are we feeling today?"

"Good, I'm leaving in an hour to go with dad so he could sign his contract," I sighed. "I really miss you."

"I miss you too," she said with a sad smile. "Ethan and the others have been so upset ever since you left. Jake has been trying to get Ethan to go out with him and go to parties since school's almost starting and they won't have much time to do that, but he just keeps refusing."

My heart sank a little as I heard the word parties. I knew what what happened at parties, and I was kind of relieved to know that Ethan kept refusing the offer, even if I was upset that he was closing inside himself and not having any fun because of me.

"I feel bad, he shouldn't stay home because of me," I sighed.

"Don't feel bad Kels, it's not your fault," Meg replied, attempting to make me feel better.

"Yeah, I guess," I mumbled.

Meg smiled at me, before a frown took over her face. "Listen, I'm really sorry but I have to go. Jake is waiting for me downstairs. He said he has a surprise for me and the Walker kids." She sounded so happy that I couldn't help but smile, my heart clenching as it longed to feel the same happiness I had felt only weeks before.

"Have fun," I winked at her, making her roll her eyes at me before speaking.

"Thanks girl, I love you. Oh, and Ethan's home right now. You should call him."

I nodded my head with a smile, saying a quick 'I love you' before she hung up. I was glad to know that I had time to talk to Ethan. There hadn't been a day which I didn't spend thinking about him, but the longing I felt on that particular day to talk to him was overwhelming. My door opened right when I was about to press on Ethan's name as my dad looked at me with a small smile.

"Do you want to go out and eat something after the contract signing?" I thought about it for a while before shaking my head, not feeling that hungry.

"Kelsey, you haven't eaten a proper meal ever since we got here. You keep eating half a sandwich or an apple. That's not healthy," my dad said as he walked up next to me and sat down on the bed beside me, worry evident in his dark orbs.

I looked down at the ground, knowing that he was right, and feeling as if I were slowly deteriorating. I was not starving myself, I was just simply not hungry. The upsetting feeling gnawing on my insides made it difficult for me to want to do anything, and it also lead to me losing my appetite. My stomach felt like it were closing, and looking at food, any kind of food, was not enough to make me hungry again. There was nothing I could do about it, no matter how desperately I wanted to.

"Come on, we're going to eat, we can go to Mc Donald's. You love that place," my dad said with a small smile, hoping that his offer would tempt me slightly.

I thought about his tempting offer, and realising that I couldn't just sit there and mope, I allowed myself to find an even better deal. "Can we at least go to taco bell? We don't have that back home, and I want to take advantage of it as long as we're here."

He beamed at me, probably feeling relieved that I actually decided to eat something, before giving me a quick peck on the forehead. "If it gets my baby to eat, then yes, we can go anywhere you want. We can also go to Starbucks for some coffee before the signing. I know how much you've longed to have something from there, I remember you whining and asking when they were bringing the franchise to you," he chuckled.

"Yeah okay, it's a deal," I smiled, happy that I was finally able to find the bright side in that dark situation. "I just need to make a call first." My dad nodded in understanding and walked out of my room, closing the door behind him as I face timed the one person I truly wanted to be talking to in that moment.

Ethan Walker.

My heart was thumping as I pressed on his name, hoping with all my might that it would pick up. A small smile formed on my face as he answered the call, but frowned as I noticed the dark circles beneath his eyes, probably matching mine.

"Hey," I said as soon as his face came into view.

"Gosh Kelsey, I miss you so freaking much," he answered, not wasting any time with greetings.

"I miss you too Eth," I said, trying to hold back the sob that was about to come out.

As soon as the plane landed in New York, I went numb. No matter how sad I was feeling, no tears were able to come out, even if I needed to cry. Yet seeing Ethan's face after spending such a long time unable to talk to each other nearly brought tears to my eyes.

"How're you doing?" I asked, hoping that his answer would be an honest one.

"I'm good, except for the fact that I really really really miss you," he sighed, making me frown.  "Have you listened to the CD I gave you?" He asked, sending me a smile which I had longed to see ever since I left home.

"Every night before I sleep," I nodded.

"Have you heard all of it?"

I laughed slightly, shaking my head in answer to his question. There were a lot of songs on there, and only little time to hear it, not giving me the chance to listen to them all. I always ended up falling asleep before getting the chance to listen to more, and I often found myself replaying the same songs over and over again just because of how beautiful they sounded.

"Have you listened to the last one?" He asked again, looking slightly nervous as he scratched the back of his neck and gnawed on his lower lip nervously.

"Not yet, why?" I asked in confusion. From his face it seemed as if there was something important in the last song, and I found myself getting curious as to what it was.

"Just listen to it," he mumbled.

"Alright, I will," I assured him.

He smiled at me, and I could feel my heart tightening as I took a good look at the person I was utterly, foolishly in love with. Being away from him was too much for me, and I hated that the distance was doing the same thing to him. He looked broken, and seemed as if he hadn't slept in days. I longed to be able to run up to him and hug him, make all of his pain go away, especially since doing that would have made my own pain disappear, but life kept getting in the way.

He sighed as he looked at his watch, his gaze shifting back to me as he frowned. "I have to go to practice," he said, sadness evident in his voice. "Bye Kels. I love you," he said, whispering the last part as if he were afraid to say it out loud.

"Ethan," I said, wanting to stop him from hanging up so that I could tell him one last, very important thing.

He stopped abruptly as he was about to end the call, his attention seemingly fully on me. "Yeah?"

"I love you too," I sincerely replied.

My world seemed to brighten as he beamed at me, his cheeks turning pink, my four little words seeming to have cheered him up. "Bye princess," he said before hanging up right after I sent him a small wave.

I could feel my heart growing empty again as soon as his face left my screen, leaving me with the photo of me on his back which I had saved as my photo background right before I left. Saying that I missed him would have been a huge understatement.

"Kels, let's go," I heard my dad yelling from downstairs. My dad yells out from downstairs.

"Coming," I replied as I headed downstairs, hoping that accompanying my father to his contract signing would allow me to forget about my problems just for a moment.

Hearing Ethan's voice always made me happy whenever I was sad, and finally getting the chance to talk to him cheered me up. I only wished that we could have spent a bit more time together, or better yet, actually be alongside one another.

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