War Of Words

Emma~

By the time I get back to the house, it’s getting late and I’m missing my family so much that I actually don’t feel like cooking dinner. Instead, I pull together a plate of club sandwiches and sit eating them while hoping that Orion doesn’t bother to show up for this meal either.

Club sandwiches are pretty much the only thing my dad could ever make and I think I’m feeding into the sadness a little too much by eating them, but it’s too late now. For once, I couldn’t think of anything else to pull together off the top of my head.

My solitude is interrupted by the smell of dark and spicy cologne and I sigh inwardly. It’s funny how this morning I was sat waiting for him to join me and now it’s the last thing on my list of wants.

I mean, I’m sat here missing my family feeling as if one of my lungs has been ripped from my chest, and who deigns to join me but the man responsible for my pain?

I don’t say anything though. I think the fight in me is slowly dying and after today it’s really starting to sink in that this is my life now. I have nothing to do but sit around and look pretty for their leader who is the reason my world is upside down.

There’s nowhere I can run without risking my family, or myself apparently. There’s no one I can fight to change the cards fate has dealt me and I’m just stuck.

I realize how depressing I sound right now, but I just can’t help it. I feel so alone!

Sure, I can talk to Orion but doesn’t that seem wrong? He’s the person who took me from my people, the person who threatened them and the man everyone fears. Fiancé or not, why should I look to him for comfort?

“No cooking?” Orion breaks the silence, but instead of responding, I slide the remaining sandwiches across to him. I’ve filled my stomach now anyway.

Maybe my mood can be improved by relaxing in bed and reading one of my books. All it will do is rub salt in the wound as I read them all first when back home, but it’s better than nothing at all.

“What’s wrong?” Orion asks as I stand from my chair in silence.

Oh the irony of him being the one to ask me that.

“Does it matter?” I snap.

I know that might be a bit unfair when considering the changes he’s been making since my accident, but it comes out before I can stop it, and I’ve never been any good at hiding my emotions.

In response, he slams his fist down onto the kitchen island so hard that for a second I worry that the marble will split in two. Thankfully it doesn’t, and everything just rumbles for a second from the power.

“I just, I don’t get it Emma.” His voice is so low that I can’t help but look up at him in surprise.

“I’m trying here, goodness knows that I’m trying, but you’re sure as hell not. I’ve given you space, your own room, the freedom to cook. What else do you want from me?”

At some point in his rant he’s started to yell and I’m taken aback. He’s not been so… well, like himself since my accident. I’m glad he finally made an appearance; I was starting to think I’d misjudged him.

“What do I want?” I keep my voice steady because the threat of tears is already building up behind my lids. “I want my family, Orion. I want my home, I want my people, and I want my freedom.”

“This is your home!” He screams, ignoring everything else I just said in a typical male fashion.

“This is my prison!” I match his energy now, after all, what have I got to lose? If he can yell, why can't I?

We stand staring at each other now, gasping from the exertion of releasing all of our passion. This was bound to happen, and I’m just thankful it didn’t have any more time to build up before either of us exploded.

“This is not your prison, Emma.” Orion’s voice is softer now, but that doesn’t change the fact that his words are a lie.

“Am I free to leave? Can I go and see my family?”

He shakes his head, clearly holding back the second wave of his rage. “After what happened, how could you imagine that I would ever let you leave again?”

“I understand.” I surprise us both by saying it, but I do.

He has a reputation to protect, I am his future wife, and for some wild reason, he appears to care for me. I just wish that that would make a fraction of a difference to how I am feeling right now, but unfortunately, it doesn’t.

His face softens for a second at my words before I go to speak again, and I wonder if he truly thinks that the resolution to all of this would actually be as simple as me saying that.

“I just wish for once you would try and do the same for me.”

Because he hasn’t has he? Does he care about all of the pain and conflict that is haunting me every second of every day that I stay here? It is clear to anyone that I value family, does he not care to see me ripped from them for the first time in my life?

I’ve lost my mother and that was the most painful experience that I have been through, until now. Until he had taken the liberty of stealing the rest of them from me, of threatening them and having me sacrifice my life for their safety.

I don’t think that my anger is that unreasonable, and with that in mind I leave him standing there.