CHAPTER 26

Alexa's POV

I hold my breath as Xander slowly chews the hot cookie he just threw into his mouth. Usually, I'm not concerned or bothered about someone eating or tasting one of the meals I make.

But it's Xander.

He has eaten in the finest places, has the best cooks, and dined with notable chefs. And that's something. Or a lot, I can't make up my mind.

However, that is not what bothers me.

What I can't seem to stop being nervous about is that since I finished culinary school,  the only person I have cooked for is myself. Sure, I worked as a chef in a restaurant, but I never took on tasks that allowed me to fully express myself. They never allowed it.

Just the way culinary school had been hard for me.

I almost didn't see it through.

Xander hums lowly, which makes the hair on my body stand. The corners of his lips tilt up, and I watch him reach for another one. Folding my hands in front of me, I meet him with a cold glare that should have him speaking immediately.

“Alright.” He raises both of his hands up right after shoving the other piece of cookie he took from the tray.

“You know,  you are a real nutcase.” I jab, eyeing him but still feeling nervous.

“Hmm,” he smiles as he leans against the kitchen island. With a smile that stuns me for a second and makes me forget why I am nervous, I continue to stare at him.

“Honestly, it's very good.” He finishes eating the one he had shoved in his mouth and reaches for another. I slap his hand away.

“Be serious.” I chide softly, biting down on my lower lip.

“It's really good, Alexa. I don't know what you did with the flavors, but they are good.”

I roll my eyes. “Well, everything tastes good when you are hungry.” I sigh as I leave him with the cookies.

The weight of insecurity burrows itself deep inside me again, and I slowly take off the apron I have been wearing. Xander is leaning against the table, quietly watching me. I walk to the door without turning to look at him. The maids are all around as though they are waiting for me to just summon them in.

“I have some cookies in the oven. Already set the timer, though.” I tell the head cook, Greta.

The older woman nods, and I continue on my way. Usually, when I feel like this, I just sink into myself. Probably cry or sleep it off. But I really haven't cried in a long time, so I am not banking on crying. But sleeping is also not an option, especially as I feel anything but sleepy.

My kimono jacket trails behind me as I move to the patio where the evening sun is just setting. It's surreal to watch nature look this beautiful. Usually, I never notice, especially when I'm always trudging down the sidewalks of NY after a very tiring shift where I have been made a waiter instead of a cook.

I never complain, though.

It pays the bills and leaves me with tips, so why should I?

I hear someone come in, but I don't turn. The fresh out of shower smell with the manly cologne I am now used to signify me that it's Xander. He comes to stand beside me, and for a few minutes, we just stand there in silence, watching the sun set slowly.

It's such a beautiful sight.

“Let's take a walk,” he says.

I look up at him, astounded that he has suggested something like that. Only looking at him and the look on his face is telling me that it's not a suggestion. I open my mouth to say something, maybe tease him and make light of the situation as I don't like doing ‘awkward’ but the contact his fingers make with mine as he wraps his big hand around mine makes something in me flutter.

“Come on,” he urges me, and I have no choice but to follow.

We slid the patio doors open and walk into the large estate premises where Xander resides. I have to admit that I never would have guessed that Xander would want to live in a big area like this. To the best of my knowledge, most of these people live in penthouses and apartment buildings.

Not houses in an estate like this.

We trudge down the path, one step after the other. As we pass by different places or buildings, Xander points them out for me. The secret garden is the first place we come by. My jaw drops open at the surreal beauty in front of me because I just never would have thought. It's so stunning that I gasp out loud.

“This is so beautiful.” I rasp.

“Yeah. I sometimes come here to clear my head.” He tells me and I nod.

“Come here,” he urges me toward a bench I haven't even noticed. I breathe in the fresh air and flowers are groomed in the garden.

It's such a beautiful, colorful sight.

We sit there for more than a few minutes while I take my time to take everything in. Every sight is ingrained in my memory but there's no rush. There should be no rush at least.

“So, do you want to talk about it?”

I almost flinch at Xander's voice. Not because I have forgotten that he is sitting right beside me because his huge thighs brushing with mine makes that impossible. And there is also the body heat emanating from him.

“Huh?” I ask as I turn toward him.

“Talk about it,” His brows pinch together as he speaks and my eyes press to the sight. I rub my arm as though I am cold.

“Uh, it's nothing. Just a brief moment of imposter syndrome.” I reveal.

Xander doesn't say anything to that and for a few minutes, I am grateful. A small smile forms on my lips at the sight of a bird making a beautiful ‘chip chip’  sound. It's a sparrow and I can't help staring at its feathers as it perches from one tree to the other.

It must be the monumental feeling that has me opening my mouth to start talking again.

“Culinary school was tough for me. Screw that, growing up was hard for me. But at least, my parents managed to make enough for us to live by. For me–us to have the basic things, yunno?” I ask and then chuckle.

Who am I kidding?

The last person who would understand my situation is anyone but Xander. Judging from what I am seeing now, his childhood must have been a fairytale. The difference in wealth is as clear as day.

“And for a long time, I didn't worry about the things I didn't have. I had my family with me and that was somehow enough until it wasn't.” I drag a ragged breath as I shove a piece of my memory away. The piece I don't like to think or talk about.

“I got into culinary school and I thought things would be different. It wasn't. My instructors barely paid attention to me. I was at the bottom of the class, almost every time. Not because I didn't excel at cooking but they disregarded every effort I made. It was just…tough.” I shrug like I am not talking about my life.

“It took a lot for me to get that job I had. But then, I lost it. It's not hard to say why. I was struggling to wake up on time, especially as my body always gave out as soon as I got back to my apartment.” I mumble.

For the longest of minutes, Xander stays quiet as he just watches me.

“I'm sorry,” he exhales while I stare down at where my hand is still engulfed in his.

“It's okay,” I shrug.

“I've been an asshole.” He groans at himself.

“Yeah, you have.” I look at him and then we chuckle at the same time. It almost feels like a long time ago since he's gotten on my nerves.

“But for what it's worth, you are exceptional at what you do.” He squeezes my hand.

“I better be,” I roll my eyes at him which makes him laugh.

We sit in silence again and I glare up at the sky. The sun, now a burning orange-gold orb slowly sinks below the horizon, casting a warm golden light across the landscape. The clouds turn a tinted shade of mauve and coral that I can't help melting at the sight of.

My attention snaps towards Xander as he chews the cookies he is taking out of the pocket of his shorts. I grimace but he just laughs, shoving them into his mouth, one after the other.

An idea occurs to me that makes me sit up. Folding my legs beneath my butt, I turn toward my husband who is now dusting his palm. “Let's play a game,” I suggest.

Xander's brows arched up at my words. “A game?” He asks.

“Yep. You mentioned that we barely know each other and if we are going to fake this to the world and your mother, we have to know about each other.” I explain.

“So, a truth for a truth?” He asks.

I nod, eagerly.

“Okay,” he agrees and pretends to be in deep thoughts for a while. “My mom died when she was having me. Childbirth.” He reveals.

I almost fell off the bench at his words. I mean, I realized a while ago that Eva cannot be anything but a stepmom to him but what I haven't thought of is his mom.

I swallow, unsure what to say.

“I never met her. But I heard a lot about her. I grew up staring at her pictures which were always plastered on the wall and everywhere. Well, until my Dad married Eva. He also died a few years ago from a stroke.” He explains.

“Wow.” I mumble. “I'm sorry,”

“Don’t be.” He dismisses. “My mother left me a lot of letters which she wrote to me when she was pregnant. My Dad never told me about them. Apparently, I wasn't ready. The family lawyer was the one who told me about them. Eva would have never. I really don't care about what's in the family heirloom or trustfund which my grandfather and father left for me. I just care about those letters.”

“Oh my God,” I gasp. “She is evil,” I say, unable to help myself.

“She sure is.” He nods.

“That's why you will do anything to lay your hands on your inheritance.” Including marrying someone you barely know. But I don't add that. “I'd do anything to get something like that from my parents too.”

A comforting silence settles between us for a few minutes. Now that there is no longer sun, the cool evening breeze has picked up pace which is sending a cold shiver to run down my spine. My arm brushes his and I have to stifle the gasp ready to fly out of my lips.

“A truth for a truth. Your turn.” He says while I wrap my arms around myself.

“Uhm, no. I think I've had enough of sharing today.” I give him a small smile. Xander rolls his eyes, smiling.

When I shiver again, he stands from the bench and holds out his hand for me. I stare up at him. “Come on, let's go have dinner. I'm sure the maids are wondering what to do with themselves.”

“Yeah,” I chuckle as I place my palm on his. I watch as he gently wraps his fingers around mine while I untangle my legs. “I feel like I have to address them.”

“You are the lady of the house. Do whatever you have to do.” He shrugs as he pulls me up.

My legs seem to have frozen in that position so it takes me a few seconds before I'm able to move them. With my hand in his, Xander slowly pulls me with him to head inside the house.

“Do you have any friends?” he asks, randomly.

My reply is instantaneous. “Not anyone genuine that I want in my life right now.”

He nods as we finally walk into the house. We settle down for dinner at the table which looks like we are having a feast. We share small talks and just random jokes but we don't go deeper, as we have spoken a lot today. I can't remember the last time I spoke to anyone this much, but I suppose I have someone now. It's just going to need a little bit of getting used to.

But when we lay down on the bed much later and he wraps his hand around me, I don't shy away from the sensual strokes. After all, this is why I am here. And I should never forget that.