CHAPTER 27

Xander's POV

I'm sitting on a chair in the patio where we have agreed to have breakfast today, and I'm awe-struck at the sight in front of me.

Alexa is standing by the sliding glass door, a cup of iced coffee in hand as she stares out into the courtyard, staring at a bird flying past.

The bird makes a squeaking noise, which makes the corners of her lips tilt up in a small smile.

The sun is out, and the reflection is directly on her face, creating a halo glow that I can't seem to look away from.

She is flawless.

Unable to help myself, I take my phone out and take secret snapshots of her in that position, ogling the bird like she's never seen one while wearing a crazily short cotton short and some throwaway top. Which brings me to the realization that I really need to take her shopping.

But even though the top has holes in them, it doesn't in any way reduce or diminish her look. In fact, I do think that it completes the aesthetic.

Brushing strands of her hair out of her face, I watch her turn toward me just as I put the phone away.

Since she has no idea what I have just done, she doesn't suspect a thing as I pick up my hot coffee.

“You like iced coffee, huh?” I ask her, pointing at the coffee she is holding on to.

“I do. I was going to request iced coffee yesterday, but that would take forever. I don't really enjoy my coffee when it's hot.” She tells me.

“And when it's cold outside?”

“It will still do,” she shrugs.

I smile and gesture to her to take her seat. She settles down on the chair and picks up her cutlery right after dropping her cup.

Cutting into the syrup soaked pancakes on her plate, she looks up at me.

“Do you have any hobbies, Xander?”

I stare at her for a few seconds, her question escaping me as I watch her plunge the fork into her mouth.

The syrup drizzles down the corner of her lips, and I follow her fingers as they wipe off the stain.

My eyes double, though, when she puts the finger into her mouth and socks it off.

Fuck, my dick is rising at that.

Such a totally unseducing, innocent action and yet I can feel my dick hardening in my pants.

That's certainly not like me.

“Huh, Xander?” She snaps her fingers twice and I come out of my daze.

With an awkward smile, I shift in my seat to adjust the bulge growing there before I take my cutlery again to start eating my waffles. We couldn't be more different; pancakes and waffles.

“I asked you a question,” she mumbles as she takes another bite of her pancake.

Forcing my eyes away from her to focus on my food, I begin to answer her unanswered question. “Yeah. Photography.”

“Really?” Her eyes double to the size of saucers.

“Yeah. As a kid, with my father always busy, I found comfort in taking pictures. I started with my mom's camera. Found it in the basement at our house in an old box where a pile of my mom's stuff were stocked. So, I just started playing around with it.” I explain as that emotion that always sneaks into my heart every time I talk about this making itself known.

“Wow.” Alexa is quiet for a few seconds. “I never would have thought, honestly. Do you still do it?” She asks.

My fingers clench around my fork and I force myself to continue chewing on the food that now tastes like bile in my mouth. It was a few years ago but I can't seem to get over it and I don't like that.

“No,” I shook my head.

“Why not?” Alexa asks. Before I can open my mouth to shut her up, she goes on to speak. “You are not any good, are you?” She teases.

My fingers clenching hard, I force myself not to drop the fork and heave out of there.

I don't want to talk about this but Alexa is my partner now and she is supposed to know all these things. I don't know what it will say about me as a person if my partner, my wife doesn't know shit about me.

“It's not that. I stopped picking up a camera after my father died.” I tell her.

The teasing smile on her face vanishes, and I almost feel terrible at the guilty and apologetic one that takes place.

I see the moment she puts away her fork and readjust herself on her seat, uncomfortable about how to talk about this.

“Are you okay?” Her voice is gentle and soft.

So unlike her.

“Yeah,” I fake a smile as I look at her. “It feels like a long time ago.”

“Do you miss her, Xander?”

Scoffing, I plunge a broken bit of my waffles into my mouth and force myself to chew.

“It's hard to miss someone you have never met.”

Yet I still have that vaping hole in my chest that will never close.

Alexa looks like she doesn't believe that, but she doesn't push, which I'm glad about.

I don't want to talk about any of it anyway. It gets only harder every time I have to open my mouth.

“What’s your favorite movie?” Alexa asks, as if to shift focus.

“Uh, I'm not a movie person. I didn't grow up watching movies, to be honest.” I tell her.

Alexa's face lit up so fast, I've never seen anything like it. “Well, you are in luck. I don't really watch movies as much as I did a few years back, but I can still hook you up with my favorite ones.” She gushes. “But just in case you are wondering, I don't have an all time favorite movie. But I do have a few.”

“Okay,” I smile.

“My family used to watch movies all the time. It was kind of our thing. Like, every night, when we could, we just settled down together in our cramped up apartment and watched a movie or two.”

There's a small hint of sadness on her face and is that nostalgia?

“We?” I push.

“Yeah. We…Uhm, I and my older sister. She died a long time ago. Cancer.” She brushed her hair off her face but I think that's just to find something to do with her shaky fingers.

“I’m sorry,” I mumble.

“Oh, it's nothing.” She dismisses.

It's something but I don't push as I'm sure she won't like that.

“Earlier, you mentioned that you would never have thought that photography was my thing. What did you think of me when we first met?” I ask.

“Honestly?” Her eyes widens slightly.

“Honestly,” I nod.

She bites down on her lower lip, appearing to be in thought, but that simple action once again sends a signal to my below.

Because I really don't understand why I am already picturing her on her knees with my dick in her mouth.

“I thought you were arrogant. Very arrogant and rude. You might still be, I don't know. And you have a knack for always wanting things to go your way. And that is not always pleasant.”

I laugh at her words because I know she isn't lying.

“So basically, an asshole?”

“Yup!” She agrees, taking a sip of her iced coffee, which from the looks of it is already melting.

“But am I changing now? Is your view still the same?” I ask.

“Huhhh, things might be changing.” She chuckles, which makes me laugh. “The last few days have been really nice.” She adds.

“Yeah,” I agree with her.

And that's all I can hope for with someone I chose to bore my child.

Our child.