Three Reckless Words: Chapter 24

I read the letter Winnie left for the umpteenth time.

I practically know it by heart at this point, but I can’t stop looking, even when every word feels like a toothpick in the eye.

It’s the saddest fucking letter I’ve ever read in my life.

Winnie, thinking she’s brought so much chaos she’s deleted herself from my life. In her heart, I’m sure the math made sense.

Because I’m the prick who told her.

I fucking told her it wasn’t working, demanding her trust and barking shit, and of course she took that literally.

How many times has she been pushed around by men with egos bigger than their brains? And I went in and threatened to abandon her if she didn’t fall into line.

Now, I’m another name on her long list of disappointments, and I can’t blame her for taking the one way out she had.

She left.

The worst part is, I know what she’s feeling.

I know how she feels about rejection.

Her entire family, her stupid ex-fiancé, the career she had in politics, they all made her feel like less.

Now I’m standing here, gobsmacked that I followed in their footsteps.

Colt shuffles into the kitchen, sees me standing there reading the letter that Winnie stained with her tears, and walks back out again.

What does he know?

“Wait,” I say, lurching after him. He’s been home all day—he probably saw her leave. Maybe she talked to him or said something, or at least—

Goddammit, what? I don’t even know what I want besides having Winnie back.

Colt stops in the hall, folding his arms.

“What do you want?” His voice has an edge that says he’s hiding something.

“Did you know she was leaving?” I demand, not caring that I’m too heartsick to be Mr. Calm Upright Dad of The Century right now.

He shakes his head. “Not until she came into the kitchen with all her bags and that letter. She was crying, Dad.”

Hearing that knifes me deep.

“Did she say where she was going?”

“No. She didn’t say much, just that you guys had a fight.” He stares at me sullenly. The kid’s got a point.

I’d be thinking the same thing if I was him, wondering how my old man could fuck up such a good thing.

“So what was it? Don’t tell me you chickened out.” He sighs.

“Work stuff,” I bite off. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Work stuff? Lame. And yeah right, it must matter a lot if you’re shitting things up with an awesome girl,” he throws back, shaking his head again, this time in disgust. “I can’t believe you.”

Me neither, kid.

Snarling, I lean against the counter and pull out my phone, which has been buzzing frantically in my pocket.

For a brief second, I’m able to hope it’s Winnie until I see it’s my brothers, checking in. Patton wants to make sure I’m okay and Dex is close behind him.

I don’t have the heart to answer them.

And I don’t the rest of the day, either.

Instead, as Colt shuts himself away in his room and ignores me, I mope around the house in the hopes she’ll call or come back or—fuck, do something.

Just tell me you’re okay.

I read your letter and I know you had your reasons. We can still talk.

I hate that I only realize I’m being desperate and clingy after I send those texts.

No matter what I do, though, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m missing something vital. That uneasy hollow in the pit of my stomach doesn’t fade, and I’m positive it’s there thanks to Winnie.

Look, I’m not like Rina. I’m not the New Agey type who believes in premonitions or sixth senses or what the hell ever.

Right now, I’m just a man who’s brutally worried because she left and I don’t know how to get her back.

The best thing that’s ever happened to me, and she’s gone in a flash.

Patton and Dexter turn up at seven o’clock sharp, just as I’m plating up a spicy pasta dish Colt promptly grabs and takes to his room so he can go right back to ignoring me.

I damn near bite my tongue off, choosing to back down and let it slide.

If I force him to eat with me at the table like a civilized person, it’ll turn into a fight for sure, and neither of us need to turn on each other more.

Too bad my brothers had to come. I don’t know if it’s to save me or toss me straight into the fire.

“So, did you talk to her yet?” Patton asks when I let them both inside.

“You’ve been ignoring us all day,” Dexter adds.

Yeah. I think I’d rather wrestle Colt to the dinner table than take love advice from these two.

“And naturally, you thought the best way to handle the situation was to barge in here and pester me?” I snort.

Patton smirks, his favorite expression. Like always, I hope his nerves misfire and it gets locked on his face.

“It’s not like we were getting anywhere with hoping you’d get back to us.”

Shit. I’m trapped with a pair of hyenas.

“Since you’re here… dinner? I can set a few more plates.” I gesture to the table and the pasta still on the stove.

“Nah,” they say in unison.

“Junie’s making that chicken with the mushroom cream sauce when I get back,” Dexter says smugly.

“Where did you bury your inner health freak after you killed him, Dex? You must’ve put on ten pounds since the wedding.” My lip curls.

“Lucky man. I’m on dinner duty when I get back,” Patton says.

“You can cook?” Dexter raises an eyebrow.

“Better than you. It’s amazing what a wife and kid will do for your food game.”

“Your game is recycling the same six recipes biweekly. You wouldn’t know a cookbook if the whole library in Mom’s pantry fell on your head,” I growl.

As happy as I am for their domestic bliss, I don’t need them rattling on about it in my dining room right after I detonated relations with the only woman I’ve wanted to cook for in ages.

So I fold my arms and lean back in my chair, studying them slowly.

I don’t have time or patience for this shit.

“If you’re not going to say anything useful, get out. I’m not in the mood tonight.” I glare at them.

“Damn, Arch, Winnie never had a prayer when you’re just dripping in charisma,” Patton deadpans.

“I mean it, dickhead.” I set my jaw.

“Okay, so let’s talk about Winnie since that’s why we’re here. Colt told me you crapped the bed,” Dexter says. “What happened? I thought you were going to smooth things over?”

“I was,” I say. “But she wasn’t here when I got back.”

Patton’s forehead creases, his smirk gone. “What, she left?”

“I mean she left, Captain Oblivious. Left me a Dear Archer note saying she’d ruined my life enough, so she was taking herself out of it.” I sigh.

How is this happening to me?

Long ago, I told myself I was done with women and relationships. It was just Colt and me.

Now, he won’t even speak to me.

“Shit,” Patton says. “What did you do?”

“I don’t know,” I tell him, which is the truth. At least, partly. “I fucked up, of course. I know that. But where she’s gone or what her plan is now? No clue.”

“What about Colt? Doesn’t she talk to him?” Patton asks.

“He doesn’t know where she went, but even if he did, I don’t know if he’d tell me. I’m his favorite villain now.” I look down at the plate of food I’ve barely touched, not remotely hungry. Talking about this doesn’t feel useful like it’s supposed to. It just adds to the dead weight in my chest. “He’s pissed and I can’t blame him.”

“That’s because she was fucking good for you,” Dexter huffs.

“You’ve got no clue at all?” Patton presses. “No hint where she’d go if she’s mourning your dumbass?”

“I don’t know, Pat,” I snap. “She’s a runner. It’s part of her instinct. Hell, that’s how I met her. She wound up at Solitude after the wedding fell through with her bastard of a fiancé. For all I know, she could be back in Springfield. She must have a few friends there.”

Friends, yeah.

Plenty of folks she never wants to see again, too.

Aside from that? The world is a big fucking place and Winnie could be anywhere.

“What about her vehicle?” Dexter asks, opening his phone. “We can track down her plates, maybe. You know I’m in good with the cops.”

“Dex, no. She’s not a fucking missing person. She just decided she’s had enough of my bullshit,” I grumble. Dex has his police contacts, yes, but that’s too intrusive. “It’s not like there’s something wrong. It’s no crime to breakup and dash.”

“You know something’s wrong,” Patton says. “You’ve been glowering and scowling all evening. I know that’s like your signature move, but it’s worse than usual. Also, you always answer your emails except for the rare Colt emergency—or when you’re worried about her.”

Guilty.

Dexter’s face is unusually grim, even when he says nothing.

I don’t like it.

My brother must feel that same heavy shadow in his gut, the inexplicable sense that something’s off about this mess.

Or maybe he’s just picked up on my vibe.

That’s easy enough when he says, “We’ll find her, Arch.”

They stay all evening.

They’d never admit they’re there for moral support—and I wouldn’t let them—but deep down, having company that has my back makes me feel slightly less shitty.

It isn’t long before the crowd grows, too.

Junie shows up, and then Salem and little Arlo, who’s growing faster than Colt did at his age. Maybe it’s the weirdness of only finding out you have a new nephew after he’s older than a toddler.

Junie throws together a huge batch of that hybrid chicken parm with the stroganoff-like sauce for everyone. There’s no denying it goes down faster and easier than my pathetic fire pasta.

The women and Arlo lighten the atmosphere, letting me melt into the background while they talk and laugh and tease.

Fine.

As nice as this impromptu family gathering is, I can’t shake the stress drenching my bones.

Dexter keeps quietly making inquiries. Patton does his best to distract me, prodding Arlo to talk everyone’s ear off about his latest additions to their fancy aquarium. I don’t think they’ll ever have enough cuttlefish.

Still, all I can think about is her.

Winnie, crashed in a ditch somewhere, smoke billowing from her crumpled car.

Winnie, bleeding by the side of the road.

Winnie, captured and gagged by some mean-eyed fuck who likes to lure women into the trunk of his car, an easy target.

She’s a fighter, but she’s too gentle.

Her world isn’t violence and pain and aggression. She grew up sheltered with parents who didn’t give a damn what her world became.

The only fighting she knows how to do is with words.

The hours crawl by.

I do my best to focus on anything but Winnie’s fate. Salem smiling as she gently rests on Patton’s shoulder and Junie gazing adoringly at Dexter isn’t helping one bit.

Eventually, I get up and face the inevitable.

I grab my phone, hit Winnie’s contact, and listen as the call instantly disconnects.

What the hell? Did she block me?

I stare at the screen in disbelief, my last fucks to give about today slipping through my fingers.

It’s getting late. The stars peek through the thick clouds. There’s a full moon, or close to it, which I’m unreasonably grateful for. Not that it’s much light if there’s someone alone out there, desperate for help.

Not Winnie, I’m sure.

Considering the other reasons why her phone might shut off like that, I hope she blocked me out of spite.

“Do you want us to get out of your hair? Or can we help you find her?” Junie asks gently.

She swings her hair, and the movement reminds me of Winnie, too.

All I can think about is how depraved I am for blowing this to kingdom come.

“No,” I say. “You should get home. She’s probably just hiding out somewhere. It’s not your problem.” Even as I say the words, I know they’re lies. But Junie smiles, accepting my usual no-nonsense logic.

“You’ll see her soon, Arch. Give it time.”

Yeah, time.

If Winnie ever shows up again, I’ll be the happiest idiot alive, and I’ll do everything in my power to make sure I never lose her again.

“I’ll keep you guys posted.”

Dexter holds my gaze. “You mean you’ll actually call her? Brave man.”

“Don’t be an ass.” I don’t tell him I’ve already tried calling and received the worst response. Silence.

“Don’t deserve it, then.” He pulls me into one of those half arm-wrestling handshakes brothers do. “Call me the second you need anything.”

Patton fakes a yawn beside me. “Don’t call me. We’ve got an early morning with Arlo, big karate tournament here.”

“He’ll kill it. What’s he up to now, third degree black belt?” I smile at the little boy, who’s already passed out on his dad’s shoulder.

“If anything comes up, call anyway,” Salem says. “I’ll make sure his phone stays on.”

“Hey!” Patton protests. “You can’t make promises when a guy needs his beauty sleep.”

“I can and I will.” She lowers her voice ominously. “He’s your brother and he needs you.”

“I’m right here,” I say dryly. “Kindly pray for me if I need help from this bozo.”

Salem gives me a knowing smile.

“Don’t be a stranger, Uncle Archer,” Arlo pipes up, suddenly awake and rubbing his eyes.

Everybody laughs.

“Right. Now get lost, all of you,” I say.

They’ve done enough for one night, coming over here and keeping me company until it’s almost midnight.

I wait for them all to leave before trying Winnie’s number again, breathing around the worry in my throat.

Just like before, there’s nothing on the other end.

That boulder of worry snowballs into a mountain.

As if on cue, another call comes in, this time from Higher Ends’ head of security. She’s a newer hire after our old guy retired, just brought on a couple weeks ago.

Janine, I think. Frowning, I swipe to take the call.

“Hello?”

“Mr. Rory? I’m sorry to disturb you so late, sir.”

“It’s fine, Janine. What’s going on?”

“We’ve been barraged with calls at The Cardinal from a young lady in Springfield who insists on speaking with a Miss Winnie Emberly. She wouldn’t let our manager off the line until he promised we’d try to contact you personally. She believes you can help her. Miss Emberly’s name comes up in the system as a guest, so I told her I would forward her number to you.”

Holy flaming shit.

Springfield, huh? I’m instantly suspicious, knowing how Winnie’s family treats her, but Janine said ‘young lady.’

Winnie never mentioned a sister or nosy cousin or anything.

I close my eyes and press the phone to my forehead before answering, my voice husky. “Yes, send the number along. Right now. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, sir. Again, my apologies for bothering you this late.”

“Don’t apologize, Janine. Just enjoy the bonus on your next paycheck.”

She’s smart enough to leave it there.

We keep a security help desk open twenty-four hours in case there’s an emergency at our properties. If this is a clue about Winnie’s whereabouts, I don’t care if nothing comes up for a year—it will have paid for itself ten times over.

My phone buzzes with a text as the number comes through and I call it immediately. A slightly sleepy voice answers.

“Is this Archer Rory?”

“Speaking. What happened to Winnie?” I can’t hide the ruthless demand in my voice.

“That depends. Are you…” Her voice sharpens as she inhales. “Are you the dude she was seeing?”

“You know about that?”

Fuck.

“Not all the details, no. Winnie never spills about stuff like this over the phone—you have to pin her down in person and squeeze, but still, I know enough.” She seems to realize who she’s talking to and coughs. “Um, do you know where she is?”

Huh? That’s not the question I expected.

“No, I thought you called me because you’d know. I’ve been trying to get in touch with her.”

“Oh, man. Oh, crap.” She’s quiet for a second before saying, “So, I got this weird picture from her about an hour ago. Winnie asked me to guess where she was. If I figured it out, she told me to tell her because I think she’s lost. She wouldn’t show up on the map at all.”

“Picture? What picture?” I growl.

“I don’t know. It came through on Snapchat. Just darkness and trees. I thought she was joking, but she wouldn’t pick up and her phone seems dead. If she’s lost or kidnapped…” The girl breathes harshly. “I don’t like it one bit. I’ve tried calling her, but it’s like her phone got disconnected. I thought about just calling the police, but after everything with her family, that’s my last resort.”

“You think the phone died? The battery?” I say flatly.

“I mean, I don’t know what else could’ve happened. And listen, Mr. Archer, I don’t know you, but if you give a crap about my best friend like she thinks you do… you should find her. You’re the only person she seems to trust in Kansas City. If she’s out there in the middle of the woods, lost and alone—” Her voice chokes as she breaks off.

I have to remind myself to breathe.

Believe me, it’s an effort after feeling the word trust plow through my chest like a bullet.

“Who are you again?” I ask.

“My name’s Lyssie. We’ve been close for years and I’m really worried about her.”

Shit.

Winnie told her friend about me, and now I’m this friend’s last option.

If it’s as bad as it sounds, I need to find her before it’s too late. My mind won’t process what could happen if I am.

“She has to be out there somewhere. Do you know any big parks or anything around there?” Lyssie asks.

“You think she’s in the woods?” I try to keep my tone calm.

“Maybe. Whenever she wants space to think, she goes outside. I looked around and it looks like there’s a lot of forest around the city. She’s been camping before, so it wouldn’t be the craziest idea. Then again, I don’t know if she’s ever really done any big-time camping. Like the kind with no outhouse.”

Great.

My poor, beautiful Sugarbee is lost somewhere in countless acres of woods in the Kansas City metro area.

That’s a big fucking haystack to sift through.

I don’t know where to start, especially if the forests are dense like the stretch that backs up to Solitude and—

Wait.

Solitude.

…she wouldn’t be that obvious, would she?

But she does love her bees to death, and she’s had a taste of those woods.

“I have an idea. I’ll get back to you soon,” I say. “I have to go.”

“Okay! You go get her. Let me know the second she’s safe.” She exhales a long breath. “Oh, and Mr. Rory?”

“What?” I can barely focus on the conversation as I run to the mudroom and pull my shoes on.

“She likes you a lot. You’d better not let her down.”

Normally, I’d be happy to have Colt back on speaking terms.

If I couldn’t see how white and scared his face looks in the glaring light from passing cars, I’d be thrilled. I only gave him the basics, yet he insisted on coming along the second he heard the news. Even so, it’s enough to scare him shitless.

He’s still a kid, but he knows how dangerous the forest can be if you’re lost and alone, and how hard it gets to locate anyone in miles of dark, dense growth.

After Lyssie called, I spent a frenzied hour calling up park rangers and state troopers before heading out, armed with every lantern and flashlight I own. I have to try finding her myself.

Now, here we are.

Patton and Dexter camp out at two different nearby parking lots, scouring the forest. One call and they dropped everything, stunned that I was desperate enough to ask for their help.

If it brings her home, I don’t care.

I head to the lot farthest away from Solitude, not far from that beautiful clearing in the woods. The same place where I let her dream I wouldn’t morph into a total jackass.

No such luck so far, but it’s early.

A ranger told me there’s an old hiking trail that leads into the woods from there.

I don’t have anything better to do tonight. I’m certainly not sleeping.

I’ve been surviving on pure caffeine and adrenaline since yesterday, and if I’m not careful, I’m going to start seeing double.

Still, my nerves are too frayed to let me do anything except keep moving.

Find her.

Fix this shit.

“Dad? Do you think we’ll find her?” Colt breaks the silence that’s been strangling me.

“We will,” I promise roughly. “Even if I have to knock down every tree in this forest.”

He nods and goes back to looking out the window.

I swerve into the parking lot after taking another quick pass through the small winding roads that weren’t gated off.

There are hints of light on the horizon, dawn barely approaching.

The light helps me look for Winnie’s vehicle, ready to be disappointed again.

But there it is, tucked away in the corner by some brush, parked slightly crooked like she just pulled up and only meant to stay a few minutes.

Another sucker punch.

She was so upset by everything that happened.

She wasn’t even thinking straight enough to park properly before she wandered off.

That’s not the considerate, lovely woman I know.

What the hell did I do to her?

With my breath stalled, I pull up beside her vehicle and screech to a stop, not caring about my parking, either.

She was here.

She was here and she meant to come back.

With Colt still in the passenger seat, I leap out and check her doors.

Yes, they’re locked.

There’s nothing inside, either. No purse on the passenger seat or stray camping gear she planned to come back for later.

Nothing to tell me where she intended to go.

A few feet away, there’s a big park board mapping the trail, which snakes on for miles across these woods.

If she took this route, she could be miles away by now.

Hell, she could be anywhere. It would take an army to look for her.

But I know she was here first.

Inhaling the night air, I force back the urge to rush in after her blindly.

That won’t help anything.

Plus, with Colt along, it’s not practical. I don’t have the right equipment—food, water, anything I should’ve brought if I was going to start scouring the woods.

But I want to. I want to follow her like a bloodhound, knowing she’s probably still here somewhere.

“Dad?” Colt asks quietly from behind me. “What are we going to do?”

“First, I’m going to call your uncles and tell them we found her car. Then we’re going back to the visitor’s center and updating the rangers. They’ll have enough cops here to help us soon.”

Like it or not, the police are involved now. I couldn’t care less if it ever makes it back to the assholes in Springfield who helped send Winnie into the wilderness.

He looks at my face, back to being a little kid. It’s the same way he used to look at me when I seemed like the bravest superhero in the world.

“Then what? We should do something.”

“Then we’re going Winnie hunting. We’re just a few hours from morning. The light will make this a lot easier.”

I hope.

“Okay.” He nods, face pale and jaw set. “Just tell me what to do, Dad. I want to help.”

“I know, Son.” I drop a hand on his shoulder. I don’t think it’s possible to be prouder of him than I am right now. “You’ll get to as soon as we’ve got everything ready.”

It’s almost sunrise by the time I pull back up to the visitor’s center where there’s a bustling command center assembled.

Someone pulled in a Search and Rescue unit, swarms of cops from three towns over, and a big, well-dressed man with an entourage buzzing around him. I assume he must be the top dog managing everything, even if he’s not wearing a badge.

“Stay here,” I tell Colt as I get out of the car.

As I approach, the man turns and looks at me with pure derision.

I don’t understand when he sniffs, holding out a cautious hand like he recognizes me. I’ve never seen this guy in my life.

Unless—

“Archer Rory,” he clips, his eyes wary. I look at his hand, but there’s no way I’m about to shake it as I realize who I’m dealing with. “I’m Carroll Emberly, Winnie’s father.”

“I know who you are,” I spit.

His gaze flits across my face, sizing up my expression. He holds up his hands defensively, oozing a heavy sigh.

“Before you punch me in the face, please hear me out…”