5| Or Die Trying

Was anyone waiting?

O R D I E T R Y I N G

An overwhelming grief knotted Hayat's stomach and pulled at her heart. Pins and needles ran up the back of her neck and a lump in her throat threatened to choke her. Panic took over. Apart from the low hum of the breeze from outside the dungeons and the occasional moaning of the pipes, her cell was quiet. She was alone, all alone. She was lying on the cold floor, staring at the ceiling, almost lifeless. The dim light from the torch that burned outside her dungeon filled the cell. Her body had refused to show any sign of strength, even changing sides would require vigour that she didn't have anymore. Beads of tears kept on falling from the corner of her eyes.

The more she remembered how she was going to kiss her lover's killer the other night, the more she wanted to die of shame and disgust. She was a cheat. May be this was her punishment.

The brief but brutal forced kiss of Tayyab in the morning still made her want to puke. She was disgusted by her own self. She had rubbed her mouth for about thirty times but the feel of his lips still burnt afresh. He himself looked sickened, it was purely out of animosity. He did it purposely to hurt Ahmar.

Bile rose to her throat once again and she gathered every ounce of strength to crawl to the corner most part of the cell, where she vomited the contents of her stomach, that was forced into her mouth by the ruthless guards of Zindaan. She took water from the clay pot that was kept in her dungeon and washed her face and mouth with it.

She bawled at the realisation that had begun to sink in. Ahmar was gone and he would never be back. That was the reality.

First her abba and amma, now Ahmar.

What wrong had I done Ya Rab?

She would never again run her fingers through Ahmar's soft hair, never hear him say how much he loved her, never cry to him when she met him after something bad happened to her; the dreams they had seen together had now been ruined, she would never share a bed with him, never be woken up by his fits of sneezes each morning, never laugh with him so much her stomach would ache, never fight with him about whose turn it was to get up and light the torches. All that was left was a bundle of memories and an image of his face that became more and more vague each hour. The thought of forgetting what his face looked like was making her catastrophic.

Their plan had been very simple. To stay together for the rest of their lives. A plan that anyone within their circle would agree was accomplishable. They were best friends, lovers and soul mates destined to be together, everyone thought. She had known him for a year but it seemed like she had known him all her life. But as it happened, one day destiny greedily changed its mind. One day the cruel emir of her kingdom decided to snatch her dreams, her present, her future, everything.

She sobbed her fat, salty tears. Her eyes were red and sore and there seemed to be no end to this night.

Nothing made her feel the solace that her soul searched for. She tried remembering the good memories but it only deepened the hole in her heart. A void that now could never be filled.

The guards had asked her to eat while she was alive, they had mocked at her vulnerability saying she needed energy to walk tomorrow to the gallows to be executed. Her entire family had been assassinated because of a misconception. They blamed her and her family of being involved with rebels that had sworn to destroy the royal family. It was a lie. She had never set a foot out of the boundaries of her Qasba and she had never known a single person who was a rebel, none of her family members did. It was a blatant lie and Hayat knew it.

At first Hayat was not scared, if anything she was happy that she didn't have to endure this agony anymore but when coherent thoughts had started to make way into her mind, Ahmar's last words echoed in her head.

She will not leave you. Revenge will be served.

She screeched and bellowed, while cursing the emir of Hudaan. Ahmar believed in her and she didn't even know how she could avenge the death of her people when they were going to execute her tomorrow.

The only thing she wished was to see the fall of Tayyab bin Zubair but how could she?

She didn't even know how to hold a sword, let alone behead the emir of Hudaan just the way he had Ahmar's.

She hated him, he didn't even remember her. She regretted the moment she had stopped him from killing himself. She wished he had jumped, she wished he was dead. None of this would have happened.

She took a deep breath, dried her eyes and tried to shake some sense into herself. Even if she had to die for killing the future king of her Kingdom, she would because he deserved it. He deserved more.

Nobody saw the fire that was burning her from the inside out.

Her heart...

How could the broken pieces keep on shattering?

She sniffled, while raising her trembling hands towards the sky, to the lord of the Worlds.

"Ya Allah! They have oppressed us. They murdered my family. I take refuge in you Ya Rab! Help me! Help me stop the oppressors. Grant my family Jannah. Ya Maliq-al-mulq I don't have anybody. Don't leave me! Don't leave me! Please!" She cried desperately seeking refuge in ALLAH.

She was startled when the door to her chamber creaked open and in walked a woman whose eyes were lined with black kohl and every other thing on her face was covered with a chiffon veil. She was a kaneez. She held a tray full of food.

She ambled towards Hayat and crouched in front of her. Hayat stared at her with loathing. She hated everyone in this palace.

A guard stood outside her dungeon to keep an eye on them. The girl took a morsel of food in her hand and raised her hand to Hayat's mouth but Hayat simply turned away her head. She expected another cocky reply but the woman in front of her only whispered, "You have to eat or the guard will not let me stay."

"Why would I want you to stay?" Hayat spat.

"I am a messenger. Someone wants to help you." She replied hesitantly. Hayat looked sceptical but she barely believed a word.

"I don't need your help. Go away! Burn in hell all of you!" She shouted moving away.

"Listen, if you want to walk out alive of here, this is your only option." She said before coming forward and raising the morsel of food towards her mouth again. This time Hayat had a bite because no matter how painful it would be, she wanted to live. She wanted revenge. She wanted to kill Tayyab and this was a promise of tomorrow that she had been praying for. How could she let go of her only chance? The only oasis in the desert.

"How do I believe you?" She questioned. The kaneez took another morsel and raised it to Hayat's mouth to feed her, "You have no other option." She said as a matter of fact.

Hayat knew it was the truth, it's not like they could kill her twice for it. She was already dying.

Hayat looked at the guard outside who stood attentively yet didn't doubt the conversation between them. "Who are you and Why are you helping me?" She murmured while taking another bite.

"We rebels fight against the oppressors. We haven't turned a blind eye towards the royalty like the others. We will help you avenge the death of your loved one's. We are extreme sorry for your loss." The kaneez replied back. Hayat couldn't believe her own ears. She ignored the pain that erupted in her chest, the memories of their death haunted her at the mention of it. This had given her hope. She would no longer have to be ashamed of not being able to fulfill Ahmar's last wish.

"I am not a rebel nor was my family." Hayat cleared.

"We know. "

"But how do you gain from this?" She asked back. "There is a payment for everything. You have to be our eyes and ears in the palace. Be our spy. You are the future queen of the kingdom no matter they like it or not. We will stop your persecution tomorrow and you'll be asked to live in the palace. Our leader has been imprisoned just like you. We have been trying to locate his cell for the past couple of years but we haven't been able to trace his existence. We want to bring down the castle and when we do, our chief promises that Tayyab bin Zubair would be yours to kill. We'll be in touch with you through the scrolls. Remember to burn them soon after you read it. Trust no one in the palace until you are asked to in the scroll." The kaneez spoke carefully, so that every word was crystal clear to Hayat.

Every bone in Hayat's body had revolted to turn away from any treachery or deceit but her heart yearned for revenge. This had become her only ambition in life. Punish Tayyab bin Zubair or die trying.

"Do you agree to this deal?" The kaneez asked. "You need to be careful. If you don't help us after we save you, we'll make sure you regret it your entire life." The kaneez further warned.

"Yes. I agree to your deal no matter what the consequence is." Hayat said firmly. The hope that had bloomed in her heart was enough to make her survive the remaining of her life.

The kaneez had left soon after but Hayat couldn't sleep. Her ambitions, her memory of him and her parents wouldn't let her sleep.

What if it was a bluff!

What if this was Tayyab's way of making her feel more pathetic about herself?

She clenched her fist out of anger but she could do nothing other than wait for the future to unfold.

She was awake the entire night, weeping, mourning, scheming and she was awake when the guards had come to take her to the gallows the next morning. Her heart had thumped really hard, beads of sweat had formed on her forehead yet she didn't struggle against their hold. Maybe she was right, it was Tayyab's way of making her feel more miserable than she already was. He was a monster. She clenched her jaws at the thought of him.

Four guards took her to the gallows, she didn't even notice the way out of the dungeons, her mind had lingered elsewhere, to her life, her dreams. All broken in one moment.

They were not making a spectacle of her execution. She had hoped Tayyab was their too so she could curse him before she took her last breath but he was not. Nobody was, other than the four guards and the executioner.

She wasn't that important after all. Usually people were allowed to watch the execution so they could learn from the mistakes of others but not in this case. The gates were closed to the outside world.

She wondered if last night's incidents had been a dream. She didn't know anymore. The difference between reality and nightmare had been smudged. She knew nothing.

She was pushed towards the raised platform, one of the guards forced her head down the pillory, securing her hands and head properly to be executed. Tears fell as Hayat cried silently. She looked above at the sky one last time.

Ya Rab! The one that ensures justice. The one who listens, destroy the people who destroyed my life. Destroy the people who took away my everything. I am innocent ya ALLAH. Have mercy on me and forgive me for my sins.

She prayed silently within the walls of her heart.

This was it.

This was how her end was written.

She tried to console herself by saying that she wouldn't have to go through the pain of living without them anymore but her soul was restless. It didn't want to die. It feared death.

"Hayat bin Hashmet , you have been found guilty of conspiring against the King and his kingdom. You are sentenced to death." One of the guards stood beside her, reading aloud from the royal scroll.

The executioner was sharping the blade of his sword. The sword that would kill her.

She shut her eyes saying shahadah one last time, preparing herself for the slaughter.

"La Ilaha Ilallah muhammad RasoolALLAH"

She heard footsteps rushing towards the platform but she didn't open her eyes. Her heart had been racing. She waited and waited for the impact of the blade on her fragile neck but it never came. Instead the shackles around her hand and neck were being opened again. She was puzzled and looked around with bewildered eyes.

The general who she had seen the other day outside of her dungeon had come with a scroll. He was dressed elegantly in the warriors attire. His cape trailed behind him but it didn't conceal the sheath of his sword hanging on the left of his waist. The little stubble around his jaw gave him a rugged look and his hair was perfectly bathed and combed.

.

He walked towards her with poise. "My lady, the king has summoned you." He bowed to her. Hayat was confused, "Does this mean that I am not dying?"

"No my lady, not today." He smiled and it felt as if her feet was about to give up on her weight. It was not a dream! She wanted to do sajdah and she did. She collapsed on her knees and bowed her head on the ground. The tears of joy didn't cease.

"We need to leave. Our king doesn't like to wait." Umar had prompted and so she got up and followed him out of the gallows but before leaving she vowed to destroy Tayyab and to be the one to kill him.

Now, the fun part is about to start. Brace yourself ladies! ❤

Vote and comment please. 🙈

Also it's not edited so forgive me for any grammatical error. I'll edit once I am done with the story.