25

A/N

Grab a drink because this ones gonna be another rollercoaster of emotions!

This really should be two chapters but fuckit, it's an extra long one for the triple update!

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Jisoo cranked the heat up in the bunker as soon as she left and locked it so they couldn't change the temperature from down there. She did it more out of revenge now for Jennie opening the Dom Perignon and teasing her with the Cristal bottle than out of a desire to get them both laid.

She turned it up a little higher than she was going to do so originally so she could torture them a bit. She had set the timer on so the temperature would drop back down eventually too like she originally planned to but again, Jennie shouldn't have opened that bottle of Rosé so she was giving them a few extra hours to sweat it out now before the A/C kicked in again. Probably not until morning.

She smirked as she walked away.

It wouldn't get too hot until night time, right before they went to bed so Jisoo didn't expect them to strip right away.

Still, she turned off all of the security cameras in the bunker, just in case. Jisoo really didn't need to be in possession of an accidental sex tape—especially not her baby cousin's sex tape and the way she just saw those two making eyes at each other she was sure someone was about to rip the other's clothes off. Especially after that fine wine they were drinking.

She kicked Kai out as soon as she went upstairs. She had a thing to do with her Chipmunk after all and now that the feed was cut off it's not like he really had an excuse to watch his stupid "Jenlisa reality show" anyway.

She knew her girlfriend was about to scold her so Jisoo compromised by giving him half the beef and side dishes as an offering and he was so happy to receive it that he grinned so wide and even tried to hug her—Jisoo stiff armed him before he could, and he rubbed his shoulder but he thanked them anyway, gushing about how great of a time he had and Jisoo really didn't recognize this Kai because he was all gross and over eager or whatever but Jisoo could care less.

She needed Rosie time so she almost literally kicked him out the door after he finally hugged Rosie and said goodbye.

Jisoo tried not to shiver in anticipation as they closed the door to their shared master bedroom.

Chaeyoung may look innocent, but behind closed doors she was a temptress and seductive as hell and Jisoo was about to have the night of her life.

____________

Jennie watched as Lisa washed the dishes, humming contentedly as she sipped on her wine.

Lisa wouldn't let her touch them since she cooked. They fought over it but Lisa threatened to pick Jennie up and lock her in the bathroom until she was done if she didn't behave and step away from the sink.

So Jennie rolled her eyes, giggled, and called her an idiot for trying to put her in double lock up.

"Are you sleepy yet?" Lisa asked when she finished with the dishes.

"No, are you?"

"Not really."

Lisa smiled when Jennie grabbed the wine bottle, "More wine?"

"Please." Lisa smiled back and followed her to the couches. Lisa was glad they weren't going to sleep yet or that Jennie didn't go back to her work. She wanted to spend time with her. This was feeling so much like the date they never got to have.

They still had so much to talk about but Lisa was starting to feel hope. Some hope that Jennie wanted to be with her too and that the break up had just been some fucked up mistake. She was almost forgetting the fact Jennie never called her, she was almost forgetting the hurt she felt over it.

They sat closer than they usually did. The wine relaxing their bodies.

"Should we watch something?" Lisa asked Jennie.

"Okay." Jennie smiled back at her and Lisa had counted and catalogued every single different smile Jennie had sent her way today and this one was different too. A content smile, a happy smile. Like she was just glad to be here. With Lisa.

"What do you want to watch?" Lisa asked.

"I don't care. We can watch whatever. You pick." Jennie answered immediately and Lisa almost spit out her wine in laughter. She missed doing this with Jennie.

"What?" Jennie giggled, "What's so funny?"

Lisa calmed down enough to speak finally, looking at Jennie, eyes glinting. "Nothing baby brat, it's just. You haven't changed."

"How do you mean?"

Lisa ignored her question and asked her a different question to prove her point.

"Should I put on a horror movie?"

"Please no." Jennie said shuddering.

Lisa had already started smirking.

"Fantasy then?"

"Too unrealistic." Jennie grumbled.

"Action?"

"Watching other people run makes me tired." Jennie answered with a half disgusted face.

Lisa actually snorted. It was so funny because Jennie had a great body but she never worked out. She hated exercising unless it was something like pilates. Though Lisa figured that's probably why she was such a health freak when she ate.

"Okay what about a comedy."

Jennie thought about it. "Maybe."

"This one?"

"No, I hate that guy."

"What abouuuuut this one?" Lisa asked playfully.

Jennie perked up.

Lisa waited.

"No." Jennie said shaking her head, her face falling.

Lisa couldn't hold the laughter in anymore.

"Whaaaaat?" Jennie whined.

Lisa couldn't help it, she poked her cheek. Jennie pouted.

"Are you making fun of me?" She said grumpily, crossing her arms and doing her adorable half pout half glare thing she does towards Lisa.

"No. I just missed the brat in you." Lisa said honestly.

"I'm not even being one right now!" Jennie said indignantly.

"You so are. You did it again. You told me to pick because you don't care what we watch and then you reject everything I pick until I read your mind. You haven't changed at all."

"Well I mean it! I don't care. It's just sometimes I don't know I didn't mean it until you tell me what you picked!" Jennie whined again.

"We're watching this one." Lisa said. She had gotten better about guessing what Jennie liked but she loved playing this game with her so she always saved the one she figured she would want to watch for last.

"Oh, I think I'll like that one." Jennie said happily.

Lisa felt satisfied that she still knew how to please her little brat.

As usual though, they might as well have not put the movie on in the first place because they talked during the whole thing. Jennie would point out some plot hole like she always liked to do and Lisa would listen thoughtfully and tell her how smart she was because she never noticed those things and Jennie would blush.

Then the conversation would get away from them and they'd end up talking about how Jisoo would be much funnier than half of the people they were watching on the screen or how Rosie was a better singer than the guy they hired for the movie.

Jennie would point out when things weren't real because of her pre-med knowledge and Lisa would listen attentively despite not knowing what most things meant—Jennie would always notice and tell her in layman's terms and Lisa loved how Jennie always made her feel smart because she took the time to tell her in a way Lisa understood.

It made Lisa realize she wasn't an idiot when it came to school after all, she just didn't learn the same way other people did and Jennie had caught on to that quickly. She had single-handedly been the whole reason Lisa's gpa had soared the last semester she had been in school.

Lisa would dance in her seat when the soundtrack was good which elicited lots of giggles from Jennie, especially when Lisa would act like she was some rapper, standing up and holding a fake mic while she rapped to her and danced and sang along to the lyrics and Jennie found it hot and funny at the same time.

Lisa just liked hearing Jennie squeal and cheer and giggle so she would switch from sensual to acting hard to goofy just to get her to react.

Eventually the movie ended and neither of them bothered to put another one on. By now they had settled in really comfortably. Jennie was on one end of the couch and Lisa was splayed across it, her head on the backboard of the other end and her feet on Jennie's lap.

She had her arms crossed behind her neck to support her as they talked.

Lisa wanted to be much closer but she hadn't wanted to scare Jennie off. The triumphant smile she gave Jennie though when Jennie told her she was too tall and that it was okay if she stretched out her legs and put them on her lap probably did not go unnoticed by Jennie because she looked down to her lap shyly and settled her hands on top of Lisa's ankles delicately.

She felt Jennie slowly caress her thumbs over the skin that peeked out from the bottom of Lisa's sweats and her socks.

They fell into a comfortable silence, Lisa closed her eyes and relished the feeling of the small contact for a moment.

It was nice, perfect even. Domestic. They didn't really have to talk to enjoy each other's company.

It definitely felt like this was the date they never had. Lisa was about to tell Jennie how much fun she'd had today but got interrupted by her phone ringing.

Since Lisa was laying down Jennie was closest to it so Lisa moved her legs so Jennie could reach for it.

Jennie froze for a second before passing it over to her.

Lisa thought she may have imagined it but as soon as she saw the caller I.D she understood why.

Incoming Call

Suzy

Lisa glanced apprehensively at Jennie who looked a little crestfallen now. Lisa hated how their little bubble had been broken so quickly, by one call, that Lisa refused to answer right now. She screened it.

Jennie knew it wasn't any of her business. She broke up with Lisa after all, but she would always feel insecure about Suzy.

"You could have taken it." Jennie said in a small voice, taking a sip of her neglected wine. She hadn't even touched it since the first glass they had in the living room. She was too immersed in Lisa. Now she felt like downing the whole thing and then the entire wine bottle for good measure.

"It wasn't important." Lisa replied immediately, trying to get Jennie to understand that she was more important. Being here with Jennie was more important.

"You guys kept in touch." Jennie pointed out unnecessarily. Forcing back the hurt because Suzy tried to kiss Lisa and they still talked. Jennie calmed herself down a bit, she wasn't allowed to have an opinion and even if she was Lisa's girlfriend still, Lisa would never cheat.

"She called a few times. Usually once a month to check in and see if I was alive and how I was doing, while I was away." Lisa shrugged, wanting to be honest. She didn't want to hide the fact that she was still friends with Suzy. They weren't close by any means, but they kept up with each other. They'd been in each other's lives for too long to just phase out.

Mostly it was Suzy keeping up with Lisa, she felt guilty for trying to kiss her at the wedding and was adamant to show Lisa she really did just see her as a friend and Lisa, despite not being with Jennie still felt like if she initiated contact with Suzy first that she was somehow betraying her. So Lisa picked up when Suzy called or texted, but that was it.

Jennie swallowed the lump in her throat. "I guess she wins. She's the better ex-girlfriend. What else would you expect from a brat like me though, too self-absorbed. You were right all along." Jennie tried joking. She rolled her eyes at herself and tried smiling but she was sure it came out as more of a grimace, her eyes immediately found her own lap, she started fiddling with her fingers.

"Don't say that Jennie, that's not even. I—that's not even a thing." Lisa stuttered out because she didn't know how to put into words what she wanted to say.

Jennie meant more to her than Suzy, but Jennie also didn't call and Suzy did. Suzy was an ex, a four year relationship that was kind of a blur. Lisa didn't want Jennie to be an ex and she vividly remembered every waking moment with Jennie, three months that were way more significant to her than four years.

Still, Jennie didn't call, she broke up with her and then proceeded to ignore her existence. Yet for the past twenty four hours they'd been progressively acting more domestic. They'd been falling back into old routines and acting like a couple the more time they spent in here together.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I had no right to say that stuff to you. The airhe—I mean Suzy—she's a part of your life and I'm—" Jennie paused, taking in a shaky breath. Feeling dumb now for the way she'd behaved, as if she had any claim to Lisa over Suzy after everything she did.

"— not. I made sure not to be. I chose to walk out of it. I hurt you and you probably hate me and she never hurt you like that and here I was threatening you not to talk about her, to erase her from your life when she should be the one threatening you not to talk about me. To erase me. I'm sorry Lis. I've been a little childish. A lot childish."

Jennie tried getting up from the couch to go to the loft bed before she started crying because the tears were already stinging her eyes but a hand wrapped around her wrist, stopping her. She didn't know when Lisa had gotten so close but she was sitting next to her on the couch now, facing her. Sitting only about a foot away, where Jennie could reach out and just touch her if she wanted.

"I don't hate you." Lisa said, eyes pleading for Jennie to know at least that much. "I can't hate you."

"Maybe not me, because you're too good, but you hate what I did to you." Jennie took a shuddering breath in. "I still hurt you. I broke your heart."

"You did." Lisa's voice cracked, "and ever since I got back I can't for the life of me understand why because you haven't changed. You're still you with me, like no time passed at all so I don't get why you crushed me if even after a year you still look at me the same."

Jennie's heart was breaking again at the look of hurt Lisa was giving her right now, knowing she was responsible for it.

"I was scared."

"Of what, my feelings? Was it because my feelings were stronger than yours, because I was already in love with you and you weren't? Did they feel like they were too much and you had to catch up because I would have waited for you to get there Jennie, if you ever did. I would have been patient. You didn't have to love me back for me to still be in love with you, I would have still been content to just have you."

"I lied Lisa." Jennie let a single tear drop now, her throat was too tight, she couldn't hold it in. She couldn't bear for Lisa to think that way anymore.

"You lied, about what?"

"About not being in love with you." Jennie rolled her eyes at herself as she cried, wiping the falling tears away. "Of course I was in love with you, you idiot. How could I not be? I was so utterly in love with you that I almost beat you to it and said it first. I almost let it slip as soon as I felt it but I didn't because I thought we had time and maybe I was a little afraid you didn't feel the same way and I regret never telling you because then it became too late."

"Was?" Lisa asked, trying to meet Jennie's eyes. Her heart was beating fast because Jennie had loved her, but it clenched right after, fearing her answer. "As in past tense?"

Jennie looked down at her lap and wiped her tears away.

"No Lisa. Not was. Am. Still."

Lisa scooted closer to her and Jennie could smell her sweet scent. It was intoxicating and dizzying and comforting and everything Jennie wanted but probably couldn't have.

"Why did we break up baby brat? If you loved me and I loved you? When you're the one that said we could do this, that we could be together while we were apart. Why?" Lisa was crying too now. The revelation too much. Her heart conflicted because its all she wanted to hear but it made her understand the massive heart wrenching heartbreak she suffered even less.

"Why did I make love to you that night, bear my soul to you, tell you I loved you for the first time, beg you so desperately not to not do it just to watch you rip yourself away from me and walk out that door, ripping my heart out and taking it with you?

Making me feel like I couldn't breathe for an entire year. Like I was suffocating. Making me think you wanted nothing to do with me? Like you didn't want me to exist. I heard you through the phone, I heard you refuse Rosie when she tried to hand it to you.

I left you voicemails and I know you heard me crying while I begged you to come back. Even the ones when I was away, when I begged you to just call me so I could hear your voice, just once, just once and I would leave you alone, I know you could hear me crying because no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much my pride stung I couldn't hold it in because I needed you so why! Why would you do that if you loved me? If you still love me? Why Jennie?"

"It'll just hurt you more." Jennie said in a broken voice, sobbing at this point, wanting nothing more than to run to her arms and comfort her. To comfort the girl whose heart she was responsible for breaking. "If I give you the reason, I'll just crush you more."

Lisa grabbed her face, wiping her tears and making Jennie look at her.

"Please, why won't you just tell me?" Lisa begged. "I need to know, please. I need it to make sense."

"I'm tired of breaking your heart. Can you just accept that it happened? That I hated to do it and I broke my own heart into a million pieces too and I hated myself, still hate myself for being the reason you cried because that's the last thing I ever signed up to do on this earth.

That I missed you so much I had to fight myself every day not to call you but I had to. I had to be strong even though I was breaking. I had to stay away and I had to break up with you and break the heart of the most precious person to me because it was the right thing to do, because that's the truth Lisa. The reason doesn't matter, what matters is that I had to. I just had to. There was no other choice."

"Jennie." Lisa started to plead again. Not even bothering to wipe her own tears. She had cried so much already over Jennie in the last year, it was like second nature now.

"Please Lisa. Don't make me." Jennie shook her head, closing her eyes. "Don't look at me like that and ask because I can't deny you anything and I need to deny you this. Please. I love you. I still love you and it's okay if you don't forgive me because I know I made the right choice. I'm so sorry. I know everything I've done is saying the complete opposite, but I love you so damn much.

I'm sorry I left you broken. I hate that I was the one that did it and I hate that breaking up with you and avoiding you cost me you, the only person I've ever wanted, the only person who made so happy but I would do it again because it was for the best."

Jennie got up again, she could barely see as she ran up the stairs to the bed. She crawled underneath the covers and hid, crying as quietly as she could.

Lisa didn't follow her this time. She put her face in her hands, letting her tears fall, almost sobbing. She didn't bother hiding it. Even if she tried she didn't think she could. She let the heartbreak of a year ago wash over her. The memory of it and the hurt had only intensified with time. She shook her head as she cried, trying to understand why if Jennie was still in love with her, she would say she would do it all over again. She would still put them through this.

That hurt the worst because for Lisa, she would give anything in a heartbeat to go back in time to change that. To not break up. To stay together.

They stayed like that for a while. Lisa cried until there were no tears left. Finally standing up from the couch. She contemplated whether she should sleep there. If that was supposed to be the right thing to do. She figured it probably was. She felt emotionally drained. She walked up to the loft bed, thinking Jennie would already be asleep. She grabbed a pillow and was about to walk back down to go to the couch when she heard her voice.

"I'm sorry my love." Jennie sniffled, barely audible.

It took two words from her for Lisa to turn around and sit on the edge of the bed. My love. It made Lisa's heart soar and ache painfully all at once. It made it burst in happiness but then she couldn't pick up the pieces and put them back together once it exploded.

She didn't say anything in response. She just looked towards the small figure hiding under the comforter. The small body that broke her heart but she wanted back anyway.

"I know I've given you no reason to trust me ever since that day. I just hope one day you get closure. I hope you trust me, believe me one day when I say I thought it was the only option and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you like that."

"I don't want closure. I wanted you." Lisa said with a strained voice.

"I wanted you too." Jennie sniffled.

Lisa couldn't find it in her to leave now, so Lisa crawled into the bed, leaving plenty of space between them, the couch forgotten. Lisa stared at the ceiling blankly and Jennie continued to hide under the comforter, willing the tears to stop.

Neither of them were able to succumb to sleep for hours but they didn't know what else to say. They were at an impasse.

Lisa couldn't understand why without getting a real reason, because everything she had wanted to hear from Jennie that would have made her infinitely happy was being wrecked by the fact that her heart was still broken, and Jennie wouldn't be able to make her understand, because she didn't want Lisa to realize that the reason they went through this was because Jennie sacrificed her own happiness so Lisa could have what she had always dreamed.

Eventually they both found restless sleep.

___________

Lisa woke up sticky, and very very hot. So hot that she felt as if she had been laying in the scorching hundred degree heat of El Salvador for hours after a heavy rain and everything was muggy hot and the clothes were sticking to her body.

Jennie had made her way to her side of the bed again, but instead of how her entire body would usually be draped across her, she was only resting her head on Lisa's stomach this time, facing away from Lisa, one of her hands gripping the pant leg of Lisa's sweats. She was laying sideways on the bed, her legs almost off of it and their comforter had been kicked down to the ground.

Lisa turned on the lamp to check on her because Lisa's shirt was sticking to her the most where Jennie was laying on her. She wondered if maybe she had a fever. As soon as Lisa moved Jennie stirred.

Lisa looked at the clock and realized it was already two in the morning.

"Jennie, wake up for a second. Are you okay?" Lisa asked gently, brushing her hair back.

She heard a low whine come from Jennie, as she shifted to face her, then noticed the following pout.

"Sleepy." She mumbled.

"Let me just check you real quick and you can go back to sleep."

Lisa's voice must have registered to her now and Jennie blinked a few times.

As expected, she shot up when she realized she was laying on Lisa again.

"Sorry." She mumbled. "Should have made the pillow wall." She finished sheepishly.

Lisa sat up too, feeling Jennie's forehead. "Are you sick?" Lisa asked in worry.

"No." Jennie furrowed her brows, she was still waking up, she hadn't taken her surroundings in yet. She blinked couple of more times and noticed Lisa's state. "Are you sick? You look clammy." Jennie said, putting her own hand on Lisa's forehead to feel her.

"It's too hot." Lisa answered, "But I don't feel sick. I thought you had a fever or something and that I just got hot because you were laying on me."

Jennie ducked her head again. "Sorry." She mumbled.

"It's okay baby brat. I'm not complaining about that. I was just worried. I thought I might have to take you to the hospital or something because I was burning up in here."

Jennie finally noticed the room temperature once she fought her embarrassment. It felt like it was getting hotter by the second. She felt her own shirt stick to her and the baby hairs on the side of her face where she was laying on Lisa were sticking to her too.

She went to go check the thermostat. It was almost 90 degrees and in an enclosed bunker like this it felt like 120 degrees to Jennie. She tried turning it down. It didn't work.

Jennie sighed heavily.

"What's wrong?" Lisa asked.

"I think the air conditioning is broken."

"Oh. That sucks." Lisa said, not really knowing what else to say. Hours ago they were crying over each other and now they were stuck in a literal sauna. Lisa wished there was some kind of rulebook for these kinds of things.

"I'll call Chu, maybe it'll wake her up and she'll let us out. I doubt it's out for the rest of the house or she'd be up already. She likes it freezing so I know there's no way she could be sleeping through this."

"I'll text Rosie." Lisa nodded, walking downstairs to get her phone while Jennie called Jisoo over and over.

"Anything?"

"She sleeps like the dead." Jennie answered, sighing. "She would sleep all day if she was allowed to. I'm pretty sure Rosie is her human alarm clock. What about Rosie? Did she answer?"

"I'm guessing she forgot to charge her phone. It must be dead or something because she literally always answers considering her parents always call at weird hours because of the time zones when they travel for work so she's used to waking up when her phone rings."

"So we're stuck."

"We're stuck." Lisa nodded.

They laid back in bed intending to suffer through it. They tried going back to sleep but it was too hot. Even without the comforter on them.

Lisa was the first to break, twenty minutes in, it felt like it was getting hotter and she couldn't stand it. She took her shirt off. It's not like she hadn't been walking around in a sports bra for most of the day anyway. The annoying part was even without her shirt, she was still wearing sweats so it didn't help much.

"Uh, baby brat, you awake?"

"Mhmm."

"Can I maybe borrow some shorts or something? All they brought me was sweats."

"Oh, sure."

Jennie got up and grabbed a pair, trying to avert her eyes as Lisa changed.

She laid back on the bed and shifted uncomfortably.

"You're not hot in that shirt?" Lisa asked Jennie.

"I am." Jennie sighed.

"Why haven't you taken it off then?"

Jennie blushed. "I'm not wearing a bra."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I guess they didn't find it necessary to pack one for me." Jennie said in annoyance. She usually wouldn't have minded but now she really wished she had one. The heat was starting to irritate her and she couldn't very well strip in front of her ex girlfriend, especially after the heavy conversation from earlier.

"I can sleep on the couch if you wanna, you know, shed some clothes." Lisa suggested.

"You would die of a heat stroke, that couch is made of leather." Jennie shook her head. "I can manage."

"Well I'll just turn the other way or whatever. It's not fair if you're all fully clothed and I'm not in this heat." Lisa turned to prove her point.

Jennie took her shirt off and tried laying on her stomach to go to sleep but she couldn't because she knew she would just end up turning at some point and probably roll on top of her and make Lisa uncomfortable with her nakedness and it's not like she could even cover up with a sheet because it was that hot.

Five minutes later and Lisa still felt hot.

"Jennie? Do your mind if I?" Lisa asked, gesturing to her own bra.

"No, go ahead." Jennie turned her face towards the wall to avert her eyes.

They finally fell asleep after an hour. The air felt a little less hot now that they had shed some clothes.

____________

Jennie woke up to cool air at four in the morning, the A/C was back on. The first thing she noticed was a bare front pressed to her back. She was being spooned by Lisa.

Despite the A/C finally kicking in, Jennie felt hotter than before. She shifted a bit and Lisa's right arm trailed up and down her bare stomach slowly, leaving shivers behind.

"So soft." Lisa groaned from behind her.

"Lis? Are you awake?" Jennie asked tentatively. Nervously, wondering if Lisa was doing this on purpose or not. Hoping she was.

It seemed Lisa wasn't awake until Jennie's voice roused her. Her hands froze right at the swell of the undersides of Jennie's breasts and Jennie pressed back into Lisa more in reaction. It had been involuntary for the most part, it had been so long since they've been skin to skin like this and her body immediately craved more of Lisa's touch.

"Should I go to the couch now?" Lisa asked softly, unsure if she should be doing this considering they were skin to skin. Usually Jennie was the one that would roll over and cuddle her in their sleep but this time it had clearly been her and of course it had happened when they were both half naked.

Jennie shook her head no. "Only if you want to." Jennie whispered back. Please don't want to. Jennie almost added.

Lisa started using the pads of her thumbs to caress the underside of Jennie's breasts back and forth and Jennie started arching her back at the feeling. She felt Lisa shift closer, her hips flush with the curve of her backside now.

She felt Lisa's breath on her neck and Jennie resisted the urge to snake her hand back to make Lisa kiss her.

Lisa started using one hand to tickle down Jennie's side, the other hand which was under Jennie right now, that Jennie was sure must be asleep because she didn't know how long Lisa had been spoon hugging her like that was still playing with her underboob subtly.

"Baby brat?"

"Yes?" Jennie was already out of breath from those simple touches, from the fact she knew Lisa's lips were only centimeters away from her neck because the patch of skin closest to those lips burned.

"What you said earlier about breaking up, that you would do it again."

Jennie nodded, her body momentarily reprieved from how good Lisa's hands felt by that comment because it instantly made her heart hurt.

"Does that mean, if we were together now you'd do it again and break up with me? That you'd always choose to break up with me? Does it mean we would always inevitably break up?"

"No Lis, just back then. I had to do it back then. I will always make that choice if I went back to a year ago, but only then." Jennie said hoarsely because Lisa's hand started exploring more.

Lisa was now using her right hand to tickle down the ridges and the grooves of her ribcage, then trailed it down to her hip, snaking up to her flat stomach and back. She momentarily paused at her hip bone and gave it a squeeze, her fingers digging with just the right amount of pressure and circling right on the inside of her hip bone, which happened to be one of Jennie's spots.

Jennie arched back again and suppressed a whimper, it came out more as a breathy sigh.

Lisa continued down, caressing the outer sides of her thighs as she went down, then to the front of them as she went up. The very tops of her fingertips grazing the skin, just barely, to the insides of them where the skin of her thighs was more sensitive. Jennie couldn't help but part her legs for her a little bit.

Lisa was teasing her slowly into a frenzy.

"I'm still so in love with you Jennie. Does that mean we might still have a shot?" Lisa breathed into her ear, voice dripping with lust for her already.

Jennie's heart was racing, she reached her hand back now to pull Lisa in. She felt Lisa place a small kiss on her shoulder, then another one on her neck.

Jennie tickled the back of Lisa's neck with her nails, lightly scratching from the very back of it to the side over and over. She could feel Lisa's breath quicken, because just like Lisa had found all of Jennie's spots. Jennie had done the same with Lisa, and she knew Lisa loved her nails. Especially on her neck because it was very sensitive.

"I'm so in love with you too. Does this mean I haven't lost you yet?" Jennie asked hopefully, but dreading the answer because what kind of shot did Lisa want. Did she mean another chance at a relationship, because no matter how broken they had left the pieces, that's all Jennie wanted, she would work tirelessly to put the broken pieces back together but she'd take what she could get.

Lisa moved her hand higher now, right between her thighs, sneaking in just a little under her shorts, almost to her center but staying far enough away, just so. She used her fingertips to tickle the sensitive skin there and Jennie felt like shaking. Jennie knew despite the distance from her hand to her core Lisa must feel the heat radiating from her.

"I still want you." Lisa husked out.

"After what I did—did it not cost me you Lisa?" Jennie asked again, needing reassurance because she found it impossible.

Lisa started kissing Jennie's neck finally, at the same time she moved her hand up even higher, using the barest of finger tips to caress her over her underwear and Jennie moaned.

"I still want you." Lisa breathed out, kissing the shell of Jennie's ear.

"You don't trust me anymore Lis." Jennie rasped out as she felt Lisa's fingers moving against her, putting a little more pressure.

"And yet I still want you." Lisa placed open mouthed kisses to the back of Jennie's neck and shoulder to prove her point.

"Want me how? Like this?" Jennie opened her legs more and Lisa slipped her hand in now, under her underwear. "Do you just want me like this?"

Lisa felt Jennie's wetness and groaned, she missed her so much. She missed touching her and feeling her warmth and making her feel good.

Jennie couldn't help but arch her backside into Lisa's front to give her friction too as soon as she felt those magical hands on her slick bare skin. She felt Lisa's hand under her wrap around her waist even more to pull her in.

"I want you in every way baby." Lisa answered, knowing Jennie wanted to know if she just wanted her for her body. If that's what they had been reduced to. An attraction for each other and nothing more. If the baggage was too much to go past being physically intimate.

Jennie shifted, her heart pounding. She used her own hand to keep Lisa's hand in place under her shorts while she turned and laid on her back. She needed to see Lisa's face.

She snaked an arm around her neck, bringing her close and Lisa pressed her forehead to Jennie's temple. Lisa laid next to her still on her side and continued touching her, using more and more pressure, kissing her lightly on the jaw. Jennie let out breathy moans before speaking again.

"I want you too. So bad, but I hurt you. I might keep hurting you."

Lisa entered her and her cry of pleasure was muffled by plump lips that she hadn't had the pleasure of kissing for a whole year. For too long. Jennie gripped Lisa's neck tighter to keep her in place because she had been yearning for those lips on her. Dying for those lips.

Lisa wasted no time in seeking entrance and Jennie gave it. Lisa felt Jennie's own hand sneak into her shorts and start touching her too as they kissed feverishly, desperately. They kissed like they had been apart for a lifetime and like it might be the last time they ever got to do it.

"I feel like I don't deserve you now but I want you anyway Lisa." Jennie whispered as she circled Lisa's entrance quickly before sinking in a digit and claiming Lisa's lips again.

Lisa shifted to be more on top of Jennie now, holding herself up to give Jennie room to thrust into her as she did the same.

"I'm scared you'll leave me again but I want you anyway." Lisa answered back and moved to kiss Jennie's neck.

Jennie tugged on her, shaking her head no desperately.

She snaked her free hand around Lisa's neck again to pull her into another searing kiss, one that she hoped told Lisa that if she could help it, she would never leave again.

They pulled away gasping. Jennie was so close already, Lisa was relentless with her like she always was. She always knew where to touch, where to kiss and as much as Jennie tried to keep up she found herself having to fight to succumb to the high because she wanted Lisa to get there with her too.

"No baby, I don't—" Lisa had hit a perfect spot so Jennie had to stop and whimper. "I'm so in love with you. I feel like I can't live without you. I don't ever want to leave your side ever again if I can help it. I know you can't trust me but its the truth." Jennie said desperately as soon as Lisa pulled away from the kiss.

"Do you trust me?" Lisa whispered in her ear before kissing the sensitive spot behind it. Jennie felt more than heard Lisa groan as Jennie began alternating between circling her clit and entering her in perfect rhythm.

"Yes Lisa." Jennie said breathlessly.

Jennie wanted Lisa to come for her, she needed her to. She felt Lisa lose her own rhythm on her, pressing her forehead onto Jennie's shoulder as her hips bucked into Jennie's hand and it gave Jennie the opportunity to lean up and lightly nip and bite and leave open mouthed kisses on her shoulder and the hollow of her neck.

Jennie raked her nails from Lisa's neck lightly scratching and when she made it to her back she dug them in harder, just like Lisa liked and the combination of everything finally pushed Lisa over the edge. She felt Lisa shudder, and clench on her fingers.

"But you don't, You don't trust me." Lisa said as she groaned and rode out her orgasm, continuing her rhythm into Jennie.

Jennie knew why she had asked. She knew what she meant. What she was saying.

Do you trust me with the truth, with me handling it.

With me knowing why you let me go.

No you don't.

You don't because you didn't tell me the truth then and you're not telling me why now.

"I do, but I've hurt you so much already. I can't bear to keep doing it. It would have been for nothing." Jennie whispered into her hair. Lisa's forehead was still on her shoulders.

Lisa stopped what they were doing and maneuvered them up, she needed to see everything. They were having a vulnerable conversation while being intimate and it was as much making love to each other because I love you as it was make up sex.

It turned into I'm sorry sex for Jennie and now for Lisa, it was about to turn into a little bit of angry sex.

She helped Jennie stand next to the bed, Jennie knew what she wanted. She stripped herself completely as Lisa did the same and then Jennie settled on her lap, straddling her.

Lisa proceeded to kiss all of the spots on Jennie's neck and Jennie was a moaning mess. She tried rocking her hips into Lisa but Lisa held them still, not letting her have any friction.

Jennie knew this was punishment.

Lisa moved down, leaving open mouthed kisses on her collarbones and then snaking one hand to palm a breast while she kissed the other one, circling a nipple with her warm wet tongue and then taking it all in with her mouth.

Jennie tried to rock into her again from the feeling as she let out another heady moan, unable to still them but Lisa's hands were quick, holding them in place again, not allowing her to move.

She pulled her mouth away and used one hand to push Jennie back a bit so she could admire her body. Jennie splayed her hands on Lisa's thighs as she leaned back to support the angle of her body. Fully intending on letting Lisa do whatever she needed to do. Letting Lisa look despite the need to want to hide and be self conscious.

She shivered as Lisa dragged her hand slowly from her neck, using her pointer finger to go in between her breasts, teasing and tracing the undersides of them and then down the soft line of her abs, pausing right before she got there, and back up torturously slowly as Lisa's eyes followed the motion and took in every inch of skin with hungry eyes.

She used both hands next, placing them on either side of Jennie and used her thumbs again to caress the edges of her breasts, all the while looking at Jennie's body intently where the contrasts of their skins met while Jennie watched Lisa's face.

Lisa's hands went back to Jennie's thighs, starting at her knees and caressing up. She trickled the pads of her fingertips on the inside of them before stopping short of where Jennie wanted her again.

She shifted her hands to grip both of her thighs again, right at the top, using those same thumbs to tease her. To just barely graze at her incredibly wet lips in the apex of her thighs, tracing the outer rims and putting the slightest pressure just above where her clit would be, right on the outside before doing it again torturously slowly and going back to tracing lips.

She continued that over and over, looking down at Jennie, looking at what she was doing to her with darkened eyes. For minutes it continued as Jennie squirmed, impossibly wet now. Impossibly sensitive and just needing more. More pressure, more Lisa.

Jennie tried to move again, to seek more friction from those teasing thumbs but the grip Lisa had on her thighs became firm when she tried and stopped her again.

"Baby." Jennie pleaded, because she didn't know how much more teasing she could take and Lisa was now using a forefinger to trace lightly all the way up and all the way down her slit, but not going in, and the fact she was watching what she was doing to Jennie, her eyesight following her finger and looking at Jennie down there so intently and reverently was turning Jennie on even more.

Her self-consciousness was completely gone just from the way Lisa was looking at her. She needed more or she felt like she might die.

"Please baby."

"No." Lisa answered in a husky voice, gripping Jennie's thighs tighter so as to prove her point before going back to what she was doing. "You only move when I say so."

Jennie could literally feel her heart beat down there, it was aching, pulsing so much. Beyond turned on from the hungry look in Lisa's eyes and from that voice she was using that was dripping in need.

Lisa looked into Jennie's eyes, still playing with her, and Lisa's expression shot another jolt of pleasure to Jennie's core because her lips were slightly parted, her eyebrows slightly raised, one more so than the other, her eyes slightly hooded, her chin jutted up a bit and to the side as if asking Jennie silently are you going to challenge me or do as I say?

Jennie was definitely going to do as she says.

That look told her if she didn't obey there would be consequences, worse than this. Worse than the teasing she was having to endure. With one, controlling and incredibly hot look and that slow torturous finger, Lisa made Jennie let out another very loud involuntary moan.

"This is how it felt Jennie."

Lisa continued moving her finger, teasing her, raking her eyes over Jennie's body with so much desire, still using that one hand to grip her so she stayed still any time Jennie tried to move. Every time Jennie did when she couldn't help it anymore Lisa would withdraw completely, punishing her and Jennie would whimper from the loss of contact before Lisa would put her hands on her again.

"This is how I felt. To have the greatest thing in the world, the greatest feeling, so close," Lisa inserted a slow single finger in now, sinking in so easily because Jennie was so wet. She wouldn't move it though, she just sunk it in all the way yet Jennie still moaned at the feeling, arching her back more and she was so turned on she didn't know how she hadn't came.

Lisa leaned forward a bit to lick what she could reach, the top of her stomach, licking and then leaving open mouthed kisses. She withdrew and moved her hot mouth to her breast, teasing her, Jennie could feel her hot breath on her, her mouth too far away still and Jennie tried to arch up again so Lisa would just take it in her mouth already but Lisa withdrew. Jennie whined again.

"I told you not to move unless I say so." Lisa demanded in a hoarse voice.

"Yes baby." Jennie rasped out desperately, knowing that if she hadn't moved Lisa would be kissing her there.

Jennie tried to stay still as Lisa finally, finally started pumping her finger in, still torturously slowly now.

"This is how it felt with you, being with you." Lisa said, moving her finger faster, adding a second one and Jennie was a moaning mess. It felt so good finally getting to be touched after all that teasing. She couldn't help but be loud.

Lisa watched her for a minute, with rapt attention, taking in how beautiful Jennie looked before completely withdrawing her fingers and Jennie whimpered again, almost crying out at the fact she was no longer being filled.

"It felt like that, so perfect, so close. Just to have it taken away." Lisa said, teasing Jennie's lips with her thumbs again. "All because you don't trust me." Lisa finished. Lisa used her thumb to circle Jennie's clit slowly.

Jennie took her hands off of Lisa's thighs and leaned up now. This time Lisa didn't stop her. She pressed her body flush to Lisa's and circled her neck with her arms, tightening them and hugging her close.

She kissed her first, slow, and in apology. She felt Lisa's hands on her back, pulling her in, pressing Jennie to her hard as if to completely crush the infinitesimal atomic space between them so they were completely joined by every inch of skin before dragging them down and gripping her backside firmly.

Jennie broke the kiss so she could kiss down Lisa's jawline, moving to the crook of her neck, to her shoulder before pulling away and pressing herself flush to her again. She left a hairs breadth of space between their lips and Lisa closed her eyes, feeling the brush of lips as Jennie said what she wanted to say.

"Is it so wrong of me to have wanted to protect you Lisa?" Jennie said honestly, voice cracking a bit. She kissed her once and drew a couple of inches back to stare intently at Lisa's face, to see her reaction.

She could see her soften up a bit before speaking, eyes still closed.

"Is it so wrong of me to hate that you broke your own heart too? To know that we missed out on all this time? What's bigger than us?" Lisa asked desperately. "What's more important than us being together if we're in love?"

Lisa finally opened her eyes to search Jennie's own.

"For me? You." Jennie answered simply, and it was her biggest truth.

She kissed Lisa on the lips again, so tenderly that Lisa could almost feel the adoration, as if to prove her point.

More puzzle pieces for Lisa to understand. That was one answer that Lisa could agree with if Jennie had asked her that question. Jennie was pretty damn important to her.

She's learned that Jennie was even more important to her than she realized in her absence, despite all the hurt Jennie put her through. Despite thinking this whole time that Jennie didn't want her anymore, didn't care, it only made Lisa want to fix what went wrong even more. Not out of some toxic obsession for her, but because she had gotten to know how special Jennie was, how well they had fit together and she couldn't understand how it went south.

The sudden guilt struck Lisa as she really took her answer in. "You did this for me? You broke us up because you thought it would be good for me?"

"Stop it, stop. Please Lisa. This is why." Jennie started peppering kisses on her face, using her thumb to unfurrow the crease in her brow. Noticing Lisa's gears turning and the slight understanding.

"Why would you do this for me when all I wanted was you?" Lisa asked in confusion. "Didn't you know that?"

"You always had me." Jennie replied. "Even if you didn't know it."

"I thought I lost you. I thought you wanted nothing to do with me."

There it was, the hurt in Lisa's voice was back and Jennie had to hold both sides of her face, caressing her jaw and looking at her intently.

"Never. You never lost me and I want everything to do with you. Even though I spent an entire year not speaking with you I thought of you every day, without fail. I missed you and I was always yours. I still am and I'm here now. If you choose to have me. Even if you don't, if I hurt you too much and I can't fix the broken pieces I left you with, I'm still yours Lis."

"Are you never going to tell me why? Why we went through all this hell and pain and torture because of that choice?"

"I don't know Lisa. Give me time, to think. It just feels like if I tell you then I put you through all of this for nothing, or you'll just resent me. It feels like a lose lose for me. Like I was always going to lose you and hurt you. When I made that choice and even now, I feel like I've already lost you or that I will. Have I? Have I lost you? I've lost your trust, I know that, but did I lose you for good too?"

"Can you promise me something?"

"If it means I might actually have a chance to earn your trust and get you back then I would promise anything. Even without that, honestly I probably would too."

"No more secrets Jennie, from now on. No more lies. I want us to be in this together. We have to do it together. We've gone through so much because we weren't honest with ourselves about our own feelings at first and now we're not being honest with each other. Even if you are just doing it to try to protect me, I don't want any secrets."

"I'm being as honest as I can now Lisa, about that at least. I'm sorry that I lied and I kept that to myself but I swear it's the only time I've ever hid or kept something from you, lied to you."

"Whatever the reason you decided to do this, what if it comes up for you again? Would you tell me then? Would you tell me this time around?" Lisa asked, because that's the question that mattered the most.

"It won't come up again, I took care of it. It took me nearly the entire year to get to a place where I could be with you again if you allowed me to, but God forbid if it did happen again—I promise. I know we wouldn't survive it if I didn't and I can't lose you again. Not completely. I need you in my life somehow."

Lisa searched Jennie's face for lies and Jennie let her look again. She watched her soften slightly and Jennie took it as permission to be able to move.

Jennie burrowed her face into Lisa's neck, giving her soft kisses there, wanting to keep apologizing and showing her love.

"Baby brat?"

"Yes my idiot?" Jennie mumbled as her kisses became more languid, claiming Lisa's neck, biting lightly and soothing it with her tongue just like Lisa liked it and trying her hardest not to get too possessive and leave a mark.

"Lay down so I can make love to you. Now." Lisa demanded.

"Yes baby."

Jennie climbed off of Lisa's lap and laid on her back, hair splayed everywhere, eyes darkening again as Lisa hovered over her.

Their breaths mixed as they pressed their bodies flush. Jennie could smell their scents mixing and their sweaty bodies slipping against each other perfectly. Jennie loved everything about it. She loved the perfect wave rocking into her, the murmurs and the groans coming from Lisa, the way Lisa let Jennie admire her by slightly pulling up so Jennie could rake her eyes and hands over her perfectly toned body that was glistening beautifully from the sweat and the strain of her ministrations, the way she smelled.

What she loved the most though, was the way Lisa looked at her. Less guarded. With love, and Lisa made sure to tell her that. She made sure to tell her she loved her over and over.

When Jennie came, she made sure to tell her that too, so much so that she chanted it throughout her climax, one that had been so intense Jennie felt like she might combust. The endless teasing in conjunction with this perfect girl coming with her was too much and Jennie almost teared up from how intense it was. It felt like it had lasted minutes and Jennie spent the entire time saying the words she wanted to say all year.

"I love you Lisa. I love you Lisa. I love you Lisa. Lisa."

Then the chant changed into something different as Jennie traveled down Lisa's body. Leaving trails of kisses. A nip and a kiss on a collarbone.

I'm sorry Lisa.

Open mouthed kisses down that toned abdomen.

I'm sorry Lisa.

Long languid licks up and down a wet center.

I'm so sorry Lisa.

A light nip on sensitive nerves and a strong tongue entering.

I'm sorry.

Later, when they were spent from their lovemaking and wrapped in each other's bodies, Jennie spoke her biggest fear. Her biggest chant.

"I'm scared Lisa."

Lisa shifted so she could look at Jennie, tucking her left arm under her for support, entangling their legs together as she used her right arm to methodically trace up and down the sides of Jennie's naked body, meeting her eyes so she could continue.

"If I tell you. I'm scared you'll think I made the wrong choice. I'm scared you'll resent me. I'm scared you'll resent yourself, mostly that. If I don't I'm scared you'll never trust me again or you'll think I don't trust you because I'm keeping it from you. I'm scared it'll make us fall apart either way. I'm just scared but I love you and I don't want to lose you again."

"You won't. I just got you back. I'm not letting go unless you ask me to, and even then, I might not let go. I might fight that because now I know what torture it's like to not have you. I even wished for the days when you hated me, I would go back to that willingly over not speaking to you again."

Jennie leaned in to kiss her, because she felt the same exact way. They kissed for the longest time yet, for hours that seemed like only minutes, making up for all of the kisses they could have had if they hadn't been forced apart.

_______

"Baby brat."

"Hmm?" Jennie asked as she absentmindedly traced plump lips with her finger. Jennie was still in awe she was even here, wrapped up in all things Lisa.

She was lying beside Lisa, her head resting on her bent hand, using the other one to play with Lisa's lips. Lisa kept letting her trace her face and do whatever she wanted and Jennie felt giddy. Jennie couldn't tell you if it was morning or noon or night because time didn't exist for her right now, only Lisa.

"I have a confession to make." Lisa said a little guiltily.

Jennie tweaked her head to the side, sitting up a little more. The sheet around her torso fell to her hips and despite having been intimate with her all night, Jennie still felt a blush creep up as she watched Lisa rake her eyes over her naked skin before she shook her head to snap out of it and then back to Jennie's eyes.

"Sorry—Anyway, Um—since we said no secrets." Lisa continued.

"What is it?" Jennie asked a little apprehensively. She wasn't known for her optimism and it would be just her luck if Lisa was about to say she had a girlfriend while she was away or that she changed her mind or that she's moving to Alaska. Jennie had to shake her head to snap out of it too. Taking in a deep breath.

"I know the code to get out of here." Lisa admitted, looking uncharacteristically nervous.

Jennie narrowed her eyes "Have you known this whole time! I had a panic attack Lisa! You kept me down here when I was panicking?!" Jennie scolded her, using her left arm to smack Lisa's shoulder.

"No! no no! Baby brat I swear! That's actually why I tried to figure it out because I was worried but I didn't try it until you got in the shower the next day and it turned out I was right. You seemed fine so..." Lisa trailed off embarrassed.

"Idiot." Jennie glared. "So all those times you were just pretending to escape?"

Lisa avoided Jennie's eyes and Jennie got her answer.

"I feel like an asshole and more than a little stalkerish now for keeping you trapped in here just so we could talk but it felt like the only way. I just wanted—I'm sorry. I just missed you and I wanted to see if maybe you didn't hate me so we could try to fix things." Lisa said sheepishly. "Are you mad?"

Lisa's heart skipped a beat at the radiant gummy smile she received in return.

Jennie pecked her on the lips and fell into a fit of giggles, shaking her head.

"I'm confused. Is this just you giggling all cute right before you murder me for trapping you down here? Because in all honestly I don't think I'd be mad if you're the last thing I see before I die."

Jennie blushed, ducking her head down.

Lisa smirked, unable to stop herself from saying what came to mind next. "You're actually the last thing I did before I die too. I don't think it could get better than that for my last moments." Lisa raised a smug eyebrow. "Okay I'm ready, murder me angry kitten."

Jennie shook her head, blushing harder and smiling shyly as she shoved Lisa on the shoulder.

"Stop. I'm not going to murder you."

"Okay then why were you giggling like that." Lisa said grinning dopily at the fact she could have Jennie blushing like that despite the fact they'd spent the last however many hours tangled up in each other naked and moaning and kissing. The fact that a small comment from her rendered Jennie blushing like that made her so damn adorable to Lisa it was ridiculous.

"Because I was messing with you, I know the code too." Jennie admitted, feeling a little embarrassed herself now.

Lisa's mouth opened in shock. "Have you known it this whole time?"

"Not really. I figured it would have something to do with Rosie so when Jisoo gave us a hint and said it was six digits I figured it would be Rosie's birthday. I didn't try it though because if I was right I didn't want to outright lie if you ever asked me if I knew what it was. I barely tried it earlier. You fell asleep first and you looked like you were too hot, I could feel your body heat from a foot away and I didn't want you to have a heatstroke so I tried it and it worked so I snuck upstairs."

"What were you going to do?" Lisa asked in amusement.

"I don't know, find a fan or something, but it was cool upstairs so I thought maybe if I made it really cold upstairs it would waft down here. Then I figured out something."

"What?"

"This was totally one of Jisoo's schemes because it let me change the temperature in here from upstairs so I just snuck back into bed. She's probably pissed about that Dom Perignón. I should have known."

"So, you snuck back into bed still half naked and then made me spoon you?" Lisa teased.

"I didn't want you to know I knew the code! It was still hot when I got back, it took like an hour to kick in so I had to strip again." Jennie pouted, blushing again. "Plus I ended up falling asleep in that position so the spooning was all you!"

"Sure baby brat."

"It was!" Jennie whined.

"This was probably your idea all along. You just wanted to get me naked. Did you put Jisoo onto this?" Lisa teased with narrowed eyes.

"Lisa stooop." Jennie blushed again. "I was not trying to get you naked!"

Lisa rolled on top of her, "Should I put some clothes on then? You were asking me to put my shirt on all day today."

"No." Jennie pouted. "Stay naked. All the time. Clothes are banned."

"So I can walk around the house naked from now on?" Lisa challenged.

"Don't you dare." Jennie glared. "Only in my room. You're not allowed to be naked anywhere else."

"I like those rules." Lisa husked out, and they were at it again.

__________

A/N

Thoughts? Did I give you guys any feelingggsssss lol

Sometimes I feel like my chapters are bipolar, sorry not sorry for the mood swings lol