Lessons in Heartbreak: Chapter 21

It took six hours and thirty-two minutes. Not too bad, considering he had to get home from the office, book a flight, land in Denver, and drive out to Welling Springs.

Bam, bam, bam!

“Griffin!” my brother’s voice boomed through the door.

At the kitchen island, with plates full of pizza and sliced watermelon, Maggie and Bryce froze, eyes widening.

Ruby was in the bathroom, and I briefly considered hiding in there with her just to see how long it would take Barrett to sniff me out. I gave my niece and nephew a quick, encouraging nod but felt my face fall into a grimace the moment I turned toward the door.

I couldn’t exactly remember when this started, but for as long as I could remember, being around my brother made me feel like the annoying little kid whom no one trusted with the big, important stuff. And no matter how much I wished it not to, my stomach curled tight with anxiety as I neared the door.

It wasn’t even my fault, and I could feel my guard sliding up and locking into place when I flipped the dead bolt and yanked open the door.

For a moment, all we did was stare at each other. To the rest of the world, we looked exactly the same, but I never, ever felt like I was looking in a mirror when faced with Barrett. There was something different about his eyes to me, the way he never smiled. The set of his shoulders always made it seem like he was carrying the weight of the world.

Maybe he was. Single dad to two scarily intelligent kids with a knack for subterfuge, and an ex-wife who was as warm and cuddly as a snake.

His jaw flexed as we stared at each other for the first time in two years, and I opened my mouth to say something, but his eyes moved past my shoulder, where he saw his kids quietly sitting at the island.

“You two are in so much trouble,” he started, striding into the house without a word to me.

My stomach sank into my feet a little, wishing I’d gotten Ruby out of the house before Barrett arrived. Last thing she needed was a visual reminder of the better, smarter, more responsible King brother.

Maggie ran to give her dad a hug, looking up at him with a pleading expression. “Please don’t make us leave right away. We just wanted to see Uncle Griffin for a little while.”

Bryce joined in, wringing his hands while his sister attempted the physical side of the emotional-manipulation attempt. “We’ve had so much fun today. We went swimming, and he played pool volleyball with us, and we played Chicken and Marco Polo and ordered pizza, and he said we can stay over tonight if you’d let us.”

Barrett’s eyes flashed to mine, anger flaring so hot that I almost couldn’t breathe for a second.

“That’s not his to promise,” he said. “And you didn’t even ask to see him,” Barrett continued, voice raising slightly. “You don’t forge paperwork and board a flight by yourself because you didn’t ask me a question.”

Maggie pulled back, her eyes full of their own fire. “Yes, I did. I asked after he sent me my birthday present.” Barrett swiped a hand over his mouth, staring down at his daughter with tired-looking eyes. “You told me no.”

Barrett dropped his hand. “I told you I couldn’t talk about it right then. I was in the middle of—”

“The middle of work,” Bryce chimed in. “You always are.”

My brother let out a slow, steady breath. I’d heard the pundits say that his ability to keep his cool was one of his superpowers. That with a single disappointed look, he could have his players willing to play through broken bones if necessary. There was no need to yell or scream or indulge in any of the sideline antics so many coaches made famous.

In college, someone had nicknamed him Ice Man, and it stuck. Through the pros, into his coaching career. In the end, I think it was why Rachel picked him. His drive, coupled with the steely, immovable demeanor, made him look like the solid bet. Someone who’d never stray. Never leave. Never fuck up.

Apparently, that trait did not extend to being the perfect parent. The thought of it didn’t bring me any joy, knowing there was one part of his life where he wasn’t a superhero. God, maybe I was experiencing a quarter-life crisis of sudden emotional growth. Maybe my capability for understanding my brother was growing in direct correlation to being around Ruby.

Like I was becoming a better person by osmosis or something. She was literally breathing her goodness into me. She’d gloat when I told her, and I couldn’t even blame her a single bit.

In the pulsing silence while my brother assessed his kids’ faces, clearly trying to figure out how to extract them without causing damage, I wondered what was taking Ruby so long. She’d keep me from doing something stupid.

“I really don’t mind them staying,” I heard myself say. “I’m happy to have them here. Even if it’s just . . . until you leave tomorrow.”

The kids perked up immediately, a chorus of “please, please, please” echoing through the kitchen. Barrett’s head snapped in my direction, his expression so fucking cold that I had to grit my teeth.

Something stupid like that, apparently.

“Kids, go play outside while I talk to your uncle,” he said. It wasn’t just the even tone of his voice that had me sucking in a sharp breath through my nose; it was the absolute chilling fury in his eyes.

“Can we get back in the pool?” Maggie asked. They were still wrapped in towels from earlier, their hair damp and their cheeks flushed from being out in the sun.

Barrett gave her a short nod, and they ran off without a single worry that I was probably about to get my ass reamed.

I slid my hands in my pockets and rocked back on my feet while they disappeared, cutting a quick glance down the hallway, but there was still no sign of Ruby.

“What the fuck are you playing at?” my brother asked, lethally quiet.

My eyes snapped to his. “I’m not playing at anything. What do you expect me to do when they show up here unannounced?” I held my arms out. “Turn them away?”

“I expect you not to undermine me right in front of them,” he ground out. “If you had kids, you’d understand that what you just said made things ten times harder for me.”

“I’m not trying to make things harder for you. I’m trying to spend some time with my niece and nephew.” I exhaled harshly. “But that’s an easy card for you to play, isn’t it? I don’t have a wife, I don’t have kids, so it’s always going to be my fault.” I raised my eyebrows. “Right?”

His jaw hardened. “You have no idea what it’s like to be responsible for anyone but yourself. And half the time, you can’t even manage that without someone stepping in to fix things for you.”

I emitted a dry laugh. “That’s getting old, big brother. You haven’t had to step in for me in years, and even when you did, I didn’t ask you to. If you want to find a place to lay the blame, maybe you should look a little closer to home.”

“I won’t apologize for working hard. I work the way I do for them. So that I can provide them with the best possible life.”

“Yeah, every workaholic says the same thing when their life falls apart because everyone around them is miserable.” I held his gaze unflinchingly. “Like your wife was at the end, right?”

Or something stupid like that. Maybe emotional growth was a slow, subtle one, because the moment it rolled off the tongue, I had to bite down on the impulse to take it back.

He took a step toward me, hands curling into fists. “Speaking of easy cards to play, Griffin. Even you’re smart enough to know what a crock of shit that is. Rachel created her own misery. Showing up at your place when she knew I was less than ten minutes behind her is a perfect example.”

My jaw tightened, eyes narrowing as I tried to weigh the truth of that in his face.

Vaguely, I wondered what would happen if the two of us actually got into a fight. Barrett was strong. Same height. Same build. But I was the one still in the gym training for game day. When it came to sheer muscle mass, I had the edge on him, and he fucking knew it.

Barrett opened his mouth to say something else, but when the sound of quiet footsteps entered the room, his face went slack with shock.

I pinched my eyes shut, wishing I could magically make her disappear. Not because I didn’t want her around—fuck, if anything, her presence might keep me from taking a swing—but neither did I want her witnessing this.

“Hi, Barrett,” she said, hands clasped together in front of her. Ruby’s hair was pulled up off her face from being in the pool, and even though we’d never seen her in a swimsuit as a teenager, there was no denying it was her. “It’s good to see you.”

His brow furrowed deeply. “Ruby Tate? What the hell are you doing here?”

Briefly, her eyes met mine, and there was a moment where I couldn’t fight it even if I wanted to—my lips lifted in a badly timed smirk.

“I live here,” she said, then pinched her eyes shut. “In town, I mean. Griffin and I . . . ran into each other when he first got here.”

“And you’re . . . what? Hanging out with him?” he asked incredulously.

A short laugh escaped my lips, and I swiped a hand over my mouth to try and stem it. She gave me a look meant to chasten, but instead it just added to the utter absurdity of the situation.

My entire life felt like a fucking soap opera sometimes, and this was just one more thing added to the list. I knew what my brother would see right now—I was the big, bad wolf and she was the innocent maiden waiting to be ravished.

She sent me a tiny glare at my poorly timed laugh but shifted her attention back to my brother. “Yes,” she said evenly, raising her chin a notch. “I am.”

Barrett looked between us, back and forth and back and forth, finally shaking his head like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Then he tipped his head back and stared at the ceiling for a moment. “I feel like I’m in the fucking twilight zone right now.”

I slicked my tongue over my teeth. “When are you leaving?”

He glanced out at his kids, playing happily on a giant flamingo float, and he sighed, wiping a hand over his face. “I’d take them right now if I thought they’d ever forgive me,” he said tightly, cutting his eyes in my direction. “But you made sure I can’t do that, didn’t you?” Barrett shook his head. “You never think through the consequences of your actions. More concerned with being fun Griffin than anything—the mantra of your entire life, and the rest of us just have to deal with it.”

I exhaled a harsh, dry laugh.

Ruby tilted her head. “How is this Griffin’s fault?” she asked. “He didn’t know they were showing up. As soon as they got here, he told them what they did was wrong.”

“Don’t worry about defending me, birdy,” I told her. “He won’t listen to a word of it.”

Barrett licked his lips, giving her as friendly a look as he could manage, which wasn’t saying much. “My brother and I need some privacy, Ruby, if you don’t mind stepping outside.”

“She is my guest,” I said icily, stepping forward, chest expanding on a deep breath. “You don’t ask her to go anywhere.”

She set her hand on my arm, and the effect was immediate—like sweet, cool water poured over the frustrated heat that only my brother seemed skilled enough to ignite. “It’s okay,” she said. “I’ll go outside with the kids.” Then she paused and looked up into my face. “Unless you want me to stay.”

My heart kicked at the back of my ribs in a single, uneven beat. I did want her to stay. Having her around made everything better, and that sent a coil of fear so quick down my spine, because the passage of time just went quicker and quicker every single day.

Ruby was the literal grains of sand sliding through my fingers. No matter how tightly I clenched my fist, there was no stopping the way she’d slip out of my grasp when all this was over.

“You can go,” I said quietly. “This won’t take long.”

She gave me an encouraging smile, and with petty satisfaction, I saw it tighten uncomfortably at the edges when she shifted it toward Barrett.

The moment she was outside, wisely pulling the sliding doors shut behind her, my brother let out a disbelieving laugh. “Oh, wow, Griffin. That’s . . . that’s something even for you.”

I crossed my arms over my chest and turned to face him. “Fuck off, Barrett. We’re friends.”

He pursed his lips. “Yeah, you’ve had a lot of those.”

“Not like her.”

At my tone—hard and cold, brimming with tightly leashed violence—his eyebrows popped up briefly. “She was always a nice kid. Smart. Quiet. Better than both of us, that’s for sure.”

He’d get no argument from me there. My eyes found her as he spoke, and the way she smiled at Maggie and Bryce made my chest feel tight. She eased into the water, immediately joining another round of Marco Polo.

She was better than me. In pretty much every way.

“Don’t let her be another consequence of the shit you don’t think through,” my brother said quietly.

I thought about what Liam had said. What Marcus had said. And I thought about my own roller-coaster thoughts when it came to that woman and her big gray eyes. I did want her. I did have feelings that were changing. Good changes.

Big, scary, uncomfortable changes.

And while she was still in my orbit, there would be no walking away, no putting up invisible boundaries in some cut-rate attempt to protect myself. As long as Ruby wanted me, I was hers. And I still would be, even after she didn’t.

I swallowed past the flimsy denial crowding my throat, tearing my eyes away from Ruby. “Anything else you’d like to lecture me on?”

He sighed, looking back out at his kids with a slight shake of his head. “I chartered a private flight to Arizona from here. We’re gonna go visit Mom and Dad.” His jaw flexed. “I’ll change the flight to tomorrow and pick them up around ten. Make sure they’ve had breakfast.”

My mouth popped open, but I snapped it shut. “Sure.”

“No drinking while they’re here,” he said firmly.

“I won’t,” I promised. “Uh, Marcus Henderson has been crashing with me the last few nights, but I’ll tell him he’s gotta go back to Denver.”

“The giant Viking frat boy from college that convinced you to throw a kegger in the college president’s backyard?”

I winced. “That’s the one.”

“Fuck’s sake,” he muttered. “Yeah, I’d appreciate that.”

In stunned silence, I watched my brother sigh heavily, the toll of all this clear on his face.

He caved. He was allowing space in his kids’ lives for me, even if it was just this once. Fuck if I didn’t feel a little bit like the Grinch, an unsteady punch to the heart that seemingly grew three sizes as I stared at the brother who’d never conceded a single inch for me in the last fifteen years.

Maybe I could concede an inch too.

“Happy birthday tomorrow, in case I forget to say it,” I told him quietly.

His jaw flexed, eyes locking briefly on mine before he nodded.

“You too,” he said, voice tight and rough with emotion.

Barrett went outside to tell the kids they could stay overnight, and beyond the sound of their excited screams, it was Ruby’s triumphant grin aimed in my direction that caused a seismic fluttering inside my chest.

Fucked.

I was so fucked.