Chapter 32 Anger And Pleasure

No One's POV

It's now been been 4 days since the death of Leo, after succumbing to his disease. After this had happened, Nhazul would lock himself in his room within his family home, becoming a essentially a recluse after he had attended his little brother's funeral. Currently at the college, Chizuru in her quiet girl disguise was currently walking with her friends, who were with Sai and Zane.

Yoko: So, Nhazul didn't come to class today again?

Zane: No... I haven't heard from him since his little brother's funeral.

Sai: He's staying with his parents right now, but when we dropped by, he wouldn't come out of his room or let us in...

Yuki: I see... I hope he'll get better soon...

Zane: I don't think that'll come anytime soon... He was so close to his little brother. For now, let's just let him have his space to mourn.

Chizuru: ...

(Timeskip)

After leaving the college, Chizuru would go to the acting school, and afterwards visiting her grandma. After coming back with her flower vase full of fresh water, Sayuri would see how quiet Chizuru was.

Sayuri: So, how is Nhazul doing?

Chizuru: I'm not sure...

Sayuri: You haven't heard from him?

Chizuru: No...

Chizuru would soon think back to four days ago, when hearing Nhazul deafening cries, unable to get the thought out of her head.

Chizuru: I haven't seen him since the funeral... I honestly don't know how to approach him...

Chizuru said looking at the message on her phone from Nhazul's parents, stating that they would be staying at a relatives house for a few days, and to please look after Nhazul, given how he's shut himself in and refused to go with them.

Sayuri: I see. The death of a loved one, especially one so young can be very difficult...

Sayuri would soon look over to a picture that Leo had made for her when they had gotten closer to one another while in the hospital.

Sayuri: Be that as it may. I'm sure you'll find the right opportunity.

Chizuru: Huh?

Sayori: It's more then fine to allow someone to be alone to grieve. Every single person is different and handles loss differently. However what comes after is what is most important. That support is what helps a person move forward and look towards the future. Time can heal many wounds in this world, though it won't heal everything. That's where the support comes in. To heal the spots time could not.

Upon hearing this, Chizuru would look towards her grandma, who only gave her a smile. Seeing this, Chizuru would soon think back to her grandfather's death and the support she received from her friends and grandma. Upon coming to the conclusion of what she needed to do for Nhazul, she would gain a determined look.

Chizuru: Right!

(Timeskip)

Currently at his parents house, Nhazul was currently sitting in the living room on the couch, entertaining himself by eating Cup-o-Noodles and watching TV all day due to being alone.

Nhazul: ...

Despite his eyes being fixed on the tv, Nhazul's mind was somewhere else completely. On the same thing for the past 4 days. His now deceased little brother, memories and moments would constantly play out in his head.

Nhazul: ...

Nhazul's thoughts: Did I do enough for him...? Could I have done more...?

Soon, unbeknownst to Nhazul, tears would begin to stream down his face.

Nhazul: I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Leo... For not being a better brother...

Later on, as Nhazul continued to eat and watch TV, he would soon hear the sound of his door being unlocked and someone entering.

???: Excuse me, for entering without permission. Your parents told me where the spare key was.

Hearing the voice, Nhazul would quickly recognize who it was, however he wouldn't make an attempt to move from his spot and simply continue to eat and watch TV.

Nhazul: ...

As Nhazul would continue to eat, the person who had opened his door would be revealed to be Ruka, as she would enter the living room.

Ruka: Ah! There you are!

Nhazul: ...

As Ruka went to take a step, she would step on something. Looking down, she'd be shocked by the stacks and scattered piles of Cup-o-Noodles on the floor in front of Nhazul.

Ruka: Have... Has this been all you've been eating...?

Nhazul: Why are you here...?

Ruka: Why? It's been 4 days! Neither me, Chizuru or Mini has heard from you. We're worried about you.

Nhazul: I'm fine... There's no need to worry...

Getting front of Nhazul, Ruka would look surprised to see how red and puffy his eyes were, along with dried up tears on his face.

Ruka: Can you really say that with the way your face looks....? If you stay cooped up, you'll get more ill...

Hearing the word "ill", Nhazul's hand would twitch.

Nhazul: Ill...? I told you that I'm totally fine...

Ruka: People who are fine don't live like this, Nhazul! Please come outside with me, just for a few minutes...!

Nhazul: I said... I'm FINE!!!!!

Nhazul said, as he stood up and kicked empty cups of Cup-o-Noodles at Ruka, causing her to flinch and shield herself. Looking back at Nhazul, she would see tears had once again began to stream down his face. Upon seeing this, she simply walked up to him, cupping his face and wiping his tears.

Ruka: You're not fine. Not even close... I won't let you go through this pain alone...

Hearing this, Nhazul's began to tremble, as the pain he was currently in had begun to become unbearable. He hated it, he wanted it to stop and go away. He so desperately wanted to feel anything other than pain. However, he'd soon remember what Ruka had once said to him.

(Flashback)

Ruka: By the way, whenever you wanna do it, just let me know.

Nhazul: Huh?

Ruka: Kissing is fair game now, right?

Hearing this, Nhazul would look at Ruka annoyed, along with a blush on his face.

Nhazul: ...-_-... Out the question...

Ruka: Huh?! You're such a shy boy.

(Present)

Nhazul: ...

As Nhazul would simply look at Ruka, she would look at him confused.

Ruka: Nha-

Before she could even finish her sentence, Nhazul would simply cut her off with a kiss, catching her completely off guard.

Ruka: N-Nhazul...?

Not saying anything, Nhazul would simply kiss Ruka again, this time now melting into it, feeling her heart beginning to race, having longed for this level of intimacy from Nhazul for a long time.

Ruka's thoughts: Nhazul....

As the two world continue to kiss, Nhazul would lead Ruka to the couch, before she laid down with Nhazul on top of her, now rubbing her legs and reaching up her skirt. As this happened, Ruka's heart began racing even more. After a few moments, the two would break for air, panting and looking at each other.

Nhazul: ...

Ruka: ...

As Ruka would look at Nhazul, she once again saw the pain in face and in his eyes. She'd soon gain a saddened look, before once again cupping his face and smiling at him.

Ruka: Please do whatever you want.

Upon hearing this confirmation, Nhazul would simply look at Ruka for a few moments before leaning back down and kissing her, to which she immediately melted back into it, as their make out session would soon become even more heated.

(Timeskip)

It's now the next morning, and soon Nhazul would begin to stir awake, rubbing his eyes in confusion.

Nhazul's thoughts: Huh...? I'm in the living room...? Did I fall asleep in here...?

As Nhazul would attempt to move, he would soon feel something on top of him, confusing him yet again.

Nhazul: Huh?

Nhazul would look down to see Ruka, who was currently sleeping with her head on his chest.

Nhazul: Ruka...? Why are you...

Nhazul's eyes would soon widen before finally noticing that both he and Ruka were completely naked.

Nhazul: HUH?!?

Nhazul would quickly stumble off the couch and onto to the floor, causing Ruka to stir awake and look towards him.

Ruka: You're up?

Nhazul: Why...? Why are you here....? And why are we both naked...?!

Hearing this, Ruka would look at Nhazul surprised.

Ruka: Do you... not remember?

Nhazul: Remember? Remember what-

Before he could finish his sentence, the memories of the previous night began to flood back into his head, remembering everything that happened, causing his eyes to widen.

Nhazul: You...? And we... I...

Hearing this, Ruka would simply look down blushing.

Ruka: Y-Yeah... I just-

Nhazul: I'm sorry...!

Ruka: Huh?

Looking up, Ruka would see Nhazul now had a face of pure horror and guilt, tears once again beginning to stream down his face, holding his head, recalling his moment of weakness with Ruka last night.

Nhazul: I'm sorry...! I'm sorry...! I'm sorry...! I'm sorry...! I'm so, so sorry... I'm so sorry...!

Seeing this, Ruka would simply get on the floor with him, trying to reach out to him.

Ruka: Nhazul... You don't need to be-

Nhazul: I took advantage of you...!!! I used you..!!! I took away something precious....!!!! That wasn't love... That was nothing but lust...!!! To lose your virginity that way...That's-

Ruka would simply cut off Nhazul, cupping his face again, causing him to look at her, as she would give him a genuine and reassuring smile.

Ruka: You didn't take advantage of me, Nhazul... If I didn't want that to happen, I would've made it clear.

Nhazul: Then why...?

Ruka: Because I wanted to take away your pain, even if for a little while.

Hearing this, Nhazul would simply look at Ruka surprised, as she continued to smile.

Nhazul: ....

Ruka: I lost my virginity to the person who I love. I don't and will never regret that, so please don't ever think you took advantage of me.

Nhazul would look at even more surprised, as he would remember Leo's final words to him.

(Flashback)

Leo: Please, big bro... Promise me... You won't go back to how you used to be... That'll you'll truly find love again...

(Present)

Nhazul: ....

As Ruka would continue to cup Nhazul's face, he would simply grab her hand, before softly speaking up.

Nhazul: Can you help me clean up this mess...? After, can we just go for a walk...?

Upon hearing this, Ruka would look at Nhazul surprised, before smiling.

Ruka: Yeah!