eleven

back to his reality

***

Ivan was unable to let him go.

Holding onto him tightly, still shocking Jeremiah of all people. He wasn't expecting Ivan to wake up and then not want to part ways.

His hold on him was a hold he had never felt before. To feel such desperation in his grip was confusing.

Except he didn't want to ask questions right now. He wasn't going to complain, he loved being close to Ivan. It was just confusing as to why...now?

Almost made him wonder if the fall gave him a concussion and changed the trajectory for all things. He felt bad if that was to be the case, but it wasn't that at all.

"I...I am happy you're okay," Jeremiah smiled, looking down at Ivan as he saw how close he was holding onto him, "I wasn't expecting you to wake up so soon though, but I'm happy you did! I honestly became a wreck without you."

Jeremiah chuckled awkwardly, expecting to be reprimanded or called out for expressing how he felt. Only for Ivan to sigh peacefully to his surprise.

Ivan took comfort in those words, and he took comfort in being able to hold onto him. To feel him hold onto him without letting go. Content in the fact that he wouldn't want to let go. He was...holding onto him willingly.

"I also want to apologize."

Instantly, Ivan lifted himself from Jeremiah as he looked him in the eyes. Shaking his head, Jeremiah didn't understand why he was telling him no.

"You don't want me to apologize?"

"No, I should be." Ivan tells him softly, only for Jeremiah to shake his head quickly.

"You don't owe me anything. You don't have to apologize. It's my fault you ended up this way-."

"No, it's my fault. Don't blame yourself for this, it was all me-."

"I won't allow you to!" Jeremiah exclaims, gripping Ivan's shoulders firmly. He rested his head against his as his lips trembled. "I...have waited ten whole days for this moment. To see you and to apologize for even asking you such a foolish question. Yet, you're trying to apologize to me, as if I deserve any of that."

"Jeremiah..."

Ivan now didn't understand how he could've ever let it get to this point.

"But I owe you one..." Ivan murmured, cradling his face as he saw how surprised he was. "I owe you...a thousand apologies."

Jeremiah didn't want to deny Ivan of what he believed, but he...didn't want an apology. His love for him was too great, and he didn't believe he deserved one. Even though he truly did.

"I love you."

Those three words took Jeremiah back even more. Such words were never said to him from Ivan's lips, so to hear it now took him aback.

"I love you so much that I can't even imagine...how much I've hurt you. You've dealt with so much from me. I've hurt you so much that you even think you don't deserve an apology from me. When you most certainly do. I...owe you my everything." Ivan grins at Jeremiah as he saw the way he looked at him. "You worship the ground I walk upon, I can tell."

"I do...I really do. I adore you Ivan."

Ivan couldn't help but feel that warmth again, holding onto Jeremiah even tighter.

"I know...that's why it's worse for me. It's even worse that despite how amazing you've been to me, I continued to be a piece of shit to you. I'm a piece of shit."

He saw the way Jeremiah began to become upset from him insulting himself. His insistence to say otherwise transcended beyond his imagination.

"You are not a piece of shit-."

"But I am."

"I don't think so." Jeremiah grins at him, leaning his head against his once again. "You are...perfection personified in my eyes."

Ivan couldn't say anything. He still felt so much immense harshness feelings towards himself. Towards how he could be so cruel to him.

He gripped his face, looking within his eyes. Jeremiah noticed how intently he stared and just couldn't help but stare right back. Stare into such green eyes that made his heart beat happily.

"Do you think I'm scary?"

"Scary?" Jeremiah repeated the last word in shock, leaning his temple against his. "My gosh, you're divine."

Ivan looked up at him sadly, Jeremiah's eyes saddening to see that sadness.

"You don't believe me...do you?"

"I just don't deserve you."

Before he could respond, they both hear the door fly open. They both looked as Luka's eyes settle upon Ivan and Jeremiah. To see them both so close caused him to cry out in excitement as he rushed towards their bed.

"Mommy! Daddy!" He shrieked excitedly, Ivan smiling as Jeremiah lifted him from the ground. Sitting him between the both of them.

His arms wrapped around the both of them, watching Ivan lean his head against Luka's.

"I hope I didn't scare you." He murmured, feeling Luka shake his head.

"No! Daddy told me you were asleep. You sleep for so long, why?" Luka turned to face him.

Ivan staring down at Luka...his hands reaching up as they felt on the wrap around his head. He didn't seem too concerned about it, his hand relaxing as he points over towards his parents.

"Grma and Papa were with me, but...I miss you mostest." Luka held onto Ivan, clinging to him.

Just the hold from the both of them sent him in a particular spiral. A spiral that left him feeling even more shameless than he did before.

"I'm sorry..." Ivan found himself apologizing to Luka.

Jeremiah didn't want him apologizing anymore, he didn't want him apologizing ever. He wanted to stick by his side and continue to see him smile.

Not that he ever smiled much before.

Now that he was awake, he knew that he'd have to go back in to work to settle some things. Because his position at Ivan's dad job was important. His dad had been understanding and letting him not go, but he knew he couldn't do that for much longer.

Not go.

And when he did go, he was already met by the one person who was pivotal in Ivan's 'second chance'. The both of them unaware of the relationship they both had.

"So...now that he's awake, do you still plan on...asking him again?"

Jeremiah looked down at his coworker and someone he thought he could call a friend, Tate. Except the fact that he was asking him again if he'd ask Ivan for a divorce again annoyed him.

"No," Jeremiah looked him in the eye, watching Tate grin as he looks away, "I should've never asked in the first place. Ivan is so misunderstood, his way of showing love towards me is off-putting for others, but it's everything to me. He's my everything, you know."

Jeremiah watched Tate not even show much interest towards his last few words, causing him to face forward as he grins.

"Besides...even if he had said yes, I don't know if I would've gone through with it," He says honestly, his eyes lowering as he began to feel shame, "I love him so much that when he was in his coma, I wanted to die. We never mated, just got married; but I still felt that strong urge. It was so overwhelming that I knew if I walked out of his hospital room I'd-."

"Look where you are."

Jeremiah stopped, hesitating as he saw that he was at work. At Ivan's dad's office...to be exact. He felt awkward because when he thought too much about it he began to go on those little rants.

"Sorry."

"It's fine. I'm just concerned for you. What if he treats you like shit again?"

"He never treated me like shit-."

"Cut the bull Jeremiah, yes he did," Tate interrupts him harshly, causing him to be taken aback by his tone, "Anyone with any ounce of intelligence could tell he was. You'd come to work dejected, just working and barely speaking. You wanted to 'get it done' and then go back home to your abuser? Your 'Omega of domination'? Please."

Tate blew him off, causing Jeremiah to stand up from his seat. Now Tate looked up to see him glaring down at him. He didn't expect such a stare as he cleared his throat.

"You know nothing, you only know what you've heard. It's like what you said, I barely spoke to people; so how can you make a rational assumption? Rumors...and even if they're true, I won't let any of you badmouth him. None of you get it, none of you get him, I love Ivan." Jeremiah felt his heart beat faster just at the thought of him.

He began to smile, but that only disgusted Tate further.

In his mind, it wasn't fair.

Tate didn't understand how someone so cruel ended up with someone so kind. Someone who'd even become so threatening even when you defended him against Ivan for his sake. It crushed his spirit and left him bitter towards the person he's only seen a couple of times.

A couple of times in school, when Jeremiah would follow him around like a lapdog. Sticking to him and making himself look like a fool for Ivan, after their differentiations were found out.

Before the divide, Ivan was doting on and sweet to Jeremiah. He could still remember when Ivan had Jeremiah's back for everything.

ten years ago...

***

"You're still keeping your promise?"

Tate stood back in the crowd, looking at the person who had already found out he was an Omega. He was already trying to find his best match, and he was going for the most difficult.

Ivan looked at him like he was ridiculous.

"Of course I am."

"With Jeremiah?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Why wouldn't I? Him and I are meant to be," Ivan turned, looking up at Jeremiah who stood behind him shyly.

His eyes softening upon him as Ivan smiled.

"He's not going to be an Omega, I can tell," the boy made clear, Jeremiah noticing the way Ivan's eyes rolled, "He is taller than you, for one. He is already displaying certain Alpha characteristics like you. Two Alphas can't be together-."

"Shut your mouth. It has already been decided that he was going to be an Omega and I will be his Alpha. I don't want to be with you, you're not who I want. I want Jeremiah, my cute Omega," Ivan hummed, Jeremiah beginning to melt under his eyes as he clung onto his arm, "We'll be late for class the longer you hold us up."

"And what will you do if Jeremiah isn't an Omega, huh?"

Tate wondered this too. Because even he could tell that Jeremiah wasn't going to be an Omega. Anyone with a brain cell could tell. The only one who wasn't accepting it or seeing the truth, was Ivan himself.

"I won't do anything." Ivan says calmly. "Because he will be an Omega. I'm done talking about it."

Ivan pulled Jeremiah through the crowd and Tate just watched Jeremiah. Watching his timid mess and shy behavior, the behavior he believed he had to act because everyone told him he'd be this 'Omega'.

Even the one he loved most did too.

No wonder he wasn't showing his Alpha side when he had such a horrible person stuck beside him like Ivan.

present

***

It was cute then, but it was gross now.

"You're right, I'll never understand. You're so strange. Tate shook his head as he stood up now. "There's no use speaking to you. It's like talking to a wall. You're in too deep, and you have a kid together anyway. It's also like what you said, you don't even think you would've gone through with it anyway, so...fuck me I guess."

"It's not a 'fuck you', it's more of a...'you don't have to understand, because I'm fine, but thanks for caring as my friend' kind of thing." Jeremiah tried to help him feel better, but Tate was already walking away.

Before he could try to help he was already being called to Ivan's father's actual personal office. When he took himself there he was met by Ivan's father and his own parents.

That confused him because they never showed themselves at his job before.

"Close the door behind you." Ivan's father insisted.

Jeremiah closed it, walking over towards his parents instead who hugged him. He pulled back with a bright smile. "Ivan is awake, are you here to congratulate me?"

He began to watch his mom's expression sadden and how awkward his dad was. "No...Jeremiah, you worried us so much."

Instantly, he nodded in understanding because he was in a dark spot. He even told them his ideations to end his life if Ivan died. Despite their son, and he already felt horrible for that.

"I know, I'm very sorry about that. I just...I am not like that anymore. Ivan is fine."

"But we aren't. None of us...like the way this has become." His mom took his hands despite the look on Jeremiah's face. "Please don't be upset when I say this...but your dad and I, along with Ivan's parents, think you shouldn't be dealing with this. Dealing with Ivan's behavior towards you. Now that he's up and will heal quickly, I remember you saying he only got in this predicament because you asked him for a divorce. What if...instead of asking for him, what about yourself?"

Jeremiah just looked at his mom, feeling his heart tightening. He pulled his hands from hers as he looked away from all of them.

Just hearing that their parents thought about all of this behind Ivan's back even when he was unwell disgusted him. Ivan didn't deserve this...and for him to see that his own parents were in on helping him 'separate' disgusted him even more.

"I'm going to...act like you didn't just say that to me." Jeremiah says through clenched teeth, sighing. "Because if I don't, I won't be able to look you guys in the face."

He looked at them all in the eye now, forcing a grin.

"Ivan is still recovering and you all are already trying to tear him away from me."

"No, Jeremiah...we are trying to save you from a toxic situation-."

"You know nothing." Jeremiah found himself sneering in his dad's face.

He instantly felt shame at his dad cowering, stepping back immediately.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to-."

"Look, just in the defense of Ivan you're doing things you would've never done otherwise," Ivan's own father spoke up now, "Even I see the bad signs."

"I'm defending the love of my life, your son."

"Yes...but I know my son. He's not a good person. I wouldn't be angry if you left him. Especially for your own betterment and to help Luka-."

"I'm excusing myself."

Jeremiah turned around so quickly, rushing out of his office despite their insistence for him to stay.

Now it felt like everyone was trying to turn him against Ivan, and just when Ivan was getting well too! It disgusted him...their behavior.

__________________🫠

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚🍌:;

↳ ❝ [ i will be updating this once a week (all depends, but at least, every five days). i want to keep people wanting more- 🙇🏽‍♀️. did i succeed? ] ¡! ❞

now...

you can probably see why he had that 'second chance'.

because this was always coming.

people turning their backs on Ivan.

and Jeremiah what?

vote, comment, follow~✨

- yolo🍖