twelve

his reality to...

***

Ivan sat on his bed, his hands shaking some as he questioned how real this was.

Was he really back?

Was Luka back to being three years old and was he really with his Jeremiah? He wanted to see Jeremiah so badly that it left him feeling anxious.

He wanted to continuously see that it was the Jeremiah who loved him unconditionally. It almost didn't feel real...like he should even have the right to have him back in the first place.

Ever since he's woken up, he felt like something was off still. Like both of their parents had something to say, but were choosing to not say it.

No one was really saying anything to him, but Jeremiah. Even if he was now back in his reality, he still felt an impending doom. He still felt like despite being well...there was a consequence coming. Not just upon himself, but Jeremiah too.

"Ivan!"

Ivan looked up quickly, seeing Jeremiah rush into their bedroom. When they made eye contact he immediately wanted to hold onto him. Reaching for him without any shame, Jeremiah rushed over as he brought him into his embrace.

The both of them hugged tightly, Ivan even more tighter than Jeremiah.

"I missed you," Ivan breathes, holding on tighter when Jeremiah was about to pull back, "I was stressed."

"Why? Were you afraid you'd hurt yourself? Didn't you call for aid? If you want, we can go back to the hospital and I'll go on leave again-."

"No, please!" Ivan whimpered, shaking his head as Jeremiah became saddened by the pain in his voice. "I just want to keep seeing you and making sure you're still here. I feel like you're going to be torn away from me at some point in time."

"Ivan that will never happen." Jeremiah was able to pull back some as he looked into Ivan's eyes.

He saw how panicked they were and how pale he was. His hands were shaking slightly and he kept his eye heavily set upon him.

It broke his heart seeing him this way, cradling his face.

"Ivan...talk to me. There's something else. If you don't want to tell me, that's okay; but I think it'd be best for you if you did. You don't look too good... I told you, you should've stayed in the hospital-."

"I feel sick." Ivan chokes, gripping onto Jeremiah tighter as he wanted to just mold into one with him. "I feel like I should've died, yet I am happy I didn't. You don't understand...how shitty I feel. I feel like you will eventually realize how much better you can do than me and leave. And I will understand, but at the same time, I'll lose it. I'm losing it right now because I was such a bitch to you, and you still love me, somehow."

Ivan looked within his eyes, seeing Jeremiah's eyes watering. He flinched when he suddenly saw his eyes glaring at him and saw the Jeremiah from the other reality.

The hatred that seethed for him, he forcibly felt his hands removed from off of him. Jeremiah sitting up as he looks away.

"Don't waste your breath." Jeremiah sneers.

Except when Ivan blinked he saw his Jeremiah, eyes soft on him and tears close to slipping. He was still close and just from that alone, he felt sick again.

"I love you Ivan, I would never leave you, ever." Jeremiah promised.

"I'm sorry..." Ivan cried, and he saw the same Jeremiah again.

The Jeremiah who hated him, he yanked away again. Looking at him like he was the scum of the earth, disgusted by his words.

"You're only sorry because you're now getting your way. You wouldn't have ever apologized if I hadn't told you that's all I needed. So...fuck that." He sneers once again as he began to get up and walk away.

"Jeremiah wait!" Ivan cried out, only to suddenly see his Jeremiah still before him. He looked so hurt and the tears were streaming down his face. "I...I'm seeing two of you, I'm...I'm sorry."

"Ivan..." Jeremiah croaked, heartbroken to see him this way.

He began to see Ivan's eyes have that sheen over them again, and fear took over his features again.

"Ivan." Jeremiah called his name, only for Ivan to try and get up as if he was seeing someone else. "Ivan, I'm here-."

"Jeremiah please, come back! I'm sorry!" Ivan cried out.

He continued to fight against Jeremiah until the sheen was gone. When he saw him truly once again, he cried out.

Jeremiah didn't understand what was happening. He prayed for Ivan to be okay, to be well...but he was suffering still. Seeing Jeremiah hurt him, hate him, despise him...

He had no idea what Ivan had been through. All he knew is that his prayers came with suffering, and Ivan's suffering was his suffering.

"Ivan, look at me," Jeremiah cradled Ivan's face, having him look only at his face, but then the sheen fell over his eyes again, "Ivan, it's okay, my love. It's okay."

Jeremiah saw tears stream down Ivan's cheeks, looking right at Jeremiah too. Only for it to disappear and Ivan would cry out again.

"Our Luna, please stop his suffering, p-please..." Jeremiah whimpered, begging as he climbed onto the bed and pulled Ivan onto his lap.

Cradling him in his arms, he would see Ivan actually see him, until the sheen took over his eyes again. He couldn't take such a sight as Ivan tried to get up again, begging for him to come back. Only to come to and see him there, losing his mind again.

"Luna...Luna...I beg of you. What can I do? What must I do? I'll do anything." He kept begging, except he saw Ivan's eyes shade over again.

It was becoming quicker and he didn't know what to do but...

When the sheen left his eyes again, Ivan saw his Jeremiah still holding him and he cried again. Trying to sit up until Jeremiah leaned close, his tears falling onto his face.

"Ivan I don't know what to do to end your suffering. I'm sorry, I am not going anywhere, just focus on me." Jeremiah pressed his lips to his, kissing him softly.

Ivan focused on his lips that were gentle and kind on his. Except the more they kissed he began to open his eyes. He wanted to make sure he was still looking at Jeremiah. Feeling him wasn't enough because even if he did, he would end up feeling him break away.

He felt him leaving him...

Jeremiah's hands went up Ivan's back, pulling him closer. Letting another hand go down his leg, pulling it against him. His lips parted when he felt Jeremiah rubbing his hand on his dick.

"Focus on me." Jeremiah murmured against his lips. He let his hand slip into Ivan's pants and grabbed his cock, gripping it gently. "Ivan...I'm right here."

Ivan held onto Jeremiah, his legs spreading apart for him. His lips kissing deeper and pulling him closer. Causing him to melt against him, he remembered how good it felt.

How good it felt to have Jeremiah touch him...for his lips to kiss him. How his body grasped ahold of his and cherished it in his hand.

Ivan let himself focus in on Jeremiah placing the softest kisses all over his body. While his hand caressed and jerked on his dick in a manner that soothed him.

"Yes..." Ivan moaned, his hands gripping Jeremiah's shoulders that'd lower down his body. Kissing upon his pelvis, he inhaled shakily when Jeremiah pressed a kiss to his most sensitive spot.

Only to feel Jeremiah's hand yank away suddenly, and he kept trying to settle on his lips still kissing him.

Even if it felt like he was pulling away, he continued to focus on him.

"I'm still here," Jeremiah murmured, kissing up Ivan's body as he pulled him close. Inhaling his scent, he pulled Ivan even more into him. "I'm right here-."

Suddenly, he heard Ivan begin to shriek out. He pulled back and saw the sheen over his eyes again, except it was almost like he was being attacked.

Unaware that Ivan was now seeing Jeremiah running towards the balcony doors himself. He was backing towards them just like Ivan did, and when he fell right through them, he lost it.

"Ivan!" Jeremiah stopped, sitting him up only for Ivan's whole body to go limp again.

Collapsing onto the bed, his eyes open. Except the sheen was staying over his eyes and left the beautiful green hazel looking dull.

When he tried to lift Ivan, his body was limp. In an instant, he heard himself screaming out again.

Ivan's eyes flew open, gasping for air as he saw he was no longer with Jeremiah. His hands flew to his head to feel for the bandage and became sick to feel it was gone.

"Why am I-?"

his second chance...

day 13 + 14

***

"I'm sorry."

Ivan saw the Luna sitting on the edge of his bed, her eyes looking right into his. With no shame, but there was a slight hint of remorse.

"Why are you sorry? For...for putting me back into this punishment!" He found himself raising his voice, just for him to see her settle her finger over her lips.

He scoffed at her even thinking he didn't have the right to be upset. Except he didn't know that he wasn't here permanently.

"I am aware that you've learned your lesson, yes; but you still are not ready."

"How so? You just hate me at this point, there's no way. I...I was with him. I kept seeing visions of the other Jeremiah. Hating me, yanking away from me, I was hearing the exact same words. The Jeremiah I know was saying the things the other one did, but I know it wasn't him - I... I can't do this again!" Ivan cried out, his fingers going into the roots of his hair.

He shrieked out, losing his mind as he got up from the bed and ran out of the room. Running down the long hallway, he kept seeing the Luna reappear with every stride as he'd run right through her.

Until he was in front of a door he didn't even recognize, but he already knew Jeremiah was in there.

"You aren't staying here. It's only for a couple days. You'll be able to go back, but there's a lesson to be learned in every comatose situation-."

"You...just want to fuck with me, that's what you want!" Ivan shouts in her face, breathing heavily as he felt sick again. "What more is there to learn? Besides my apologies being ignored, everyone hates me, and Jeremiah...wishes to have nothing to do with me?"

Ivan waited for her to speak, but when she didn't he scoffs.

"Nothing. There is nothing to be learned. You're fucking with me-!"

"Jeremiah, your Jeremiah, will end up ruining himself for you if he doesn't realize and accept you treated him horribly. Everyone wishes to see you two split to help him, you know. Except he defends you despite the truth-."

"And why do you care? He loves me, someone actually loves me and I love him-!"

"You don't understand. That is exactly why you are here." She interrupts sharply, Ivan looking at her like she was crazy. "You'll wake up again in no time. Just take the lesson and don't be ridiculous. Or you'll learn nothing and ruin everything, but you're good at that."

Ivan watched her disappear, his hands beginning to shake again.

Just when he was going to back up, he saw Jeremiah's door open. It wasn't his Jeremiah though...this one looked at him with contempt.

He looked away, shaking his head, "I...made a mistake. If you want to stop this we can-."

"There is no stopping." Jeremiah interrupts sharply, looking at him like he was an idiot. "You call yourself apologizing...and it was one of the most disingenuous apologies I've ever heard. You couldn't even say what you were sorry for-."

"I'm trying here. I didn't even mean to come over here anyway." Ivan interrupts him now.

They both just look at each other, not saying anything. Jeremiah sighed, pushing past Ivan who was becoming increasingly more angry.

He just had Jeremiah with him...holding him, kissing him, trying to help him. Now he had this one.

The one who wanted nothing to do with him.

Jeremiah went into Luka's room where he slept, making sure he didn't wake up to Ivan's noise. Unaware of what he was making noise for, he just knew he was.

Luka still slept soundly to his surprise, looking back over at Ivan. Who wasn't even looking at him, but somewhere else. The look in his eyes was if he had somewhere else to be.

"You get to be with me again and you're already tired of me?"

"No," Ivan looked him in the eye, becoming more frustrated when he met angry eyes back, "I'm thinking."

"Thinking about what?"

"Thinking about why I'm back here!" Ivan cried out despite who was in Jeremiah's arms.

Except Luka remained sound asleep, while Jeremiah tried to keep himself together. Mainly because he was the one holding Luka and he didn't really know what he could've meant by that. He didn't want to assume.

So he waited.

"I'm back...before you, the angry you. I get to have you back again, and then you're torn from me once again. And it was all because I couldn't accept the truth of the matter. That I'm an Omega...and was never meant to be one. My own self-hatred moved onto you instead, and because of that, look where I'm standing?" Ivan ran his fingers through his hair, wishing he could say this to his Jeremiah.

Not this one.

Except the Jeremiah before him relished in hearing him just admit such a thing. He began to...feel bad for saying he hated him. The him now...but it's still Ivan.

Ivan scoffed, blowing him off. "I shouldn't even be saying this stuff to you."

"No...it's good," Jeremiah set Luka down, stepping towards Ivan who stepped back, "it's a good start, I promise."

Ivan tried his best to come off thankful, but now that he knew he was going back to his own Jeremiah eventually...he couldn't grasp ahold to this. He just nodded, sighing as Jeremiah inhaled deeply.

"I do want to apologize-."

"Don't. I'm the last person who needs apologies." Ivan insisted, beginning to turn away until Jeremiah brought him back. "What are you doing?"

"You don't understand how long I've been waiting to hear you say that to me."

Ivan felt that Jeremiah's grip wasn't harsh, but almost relieved. He wondered if...his Jeremiah would feel this type of way - if not more so - if he said these things to him.

He would have to wait, his eyes lowering to the hand that held onto him.

"I didn't realize what I had lost until I lost it. Then just when I could have it back...I'm back to here."

Jeremiah let him go, watching Ivan look back at him. "What else have you realized?"

"No point in telling you."

Just when Ivan turned away, the Jeremiah in this reality began to follow after. Unlike the one in his reality that held onto Ivan and was a panicked mess.

Calling for Ivan, but was getting nothing. Except he saw that he was still breathing. His eyes open and staring up into nothingness.

"Ivan...?" Jeremiah says his name fearfully, and just when he was about to cry out he heard the door open.

His eyes set onto Luka, who looked like he just woke up from a nap. He wiped his eyes some and Jeremiah got up quickly, picking him up before he realized what was wrong with Ivan.

"I'm home, I'm sorry...I didn't say hi to you when I came up, but you were sleeping so soundly. I didn't want to wake you." Jeremiah closed the door behind him, watching Luka smile up at him as he clung to him.

"I heard mommy making weird noise, I want to see if he okay. Is he okay?"

"Yes."

"Can I see?"

Jeremiah faltered, his lips tightening as Luka was still out of it. He continued to doze in and out of consciousness and he didn't know if he would sleep without seeing Ivan was okay.

"But he's back to sleep now, you don't want to wake him up right?"

"I be hush hush for mama." Luka puckered his lips as he shushed softly, nodding quickly as his eyes lit up with insistence. "I promise daddy."

Jeremiah swallowed the nerves in his throat. He did end up taking them both back into the room, as Luka looked down at Ivan. Except Ivan's eyes were closed now to his dismay.

He watched Luka stare at him, his hand covering his mouth as he began to look excited.

"Hush hush!" He whispered, causing Jeremiah to smile with as much as he could muster.

Not wanting Luka to know that he didn't know if Ivan was really okay or not. All he knew...is that he was seeing stuff that wasn't truly happening, and then passed out. What more could he do or say?

He questioned if he should take him to the hospital again...but he didn't want to hear from the others again. That this would be the time to...get away for the better interests of Luka and himself.

Except it didn't feel that way. Because what about Ivan? It was like he was the only one who truly loved him despite it all.

And it hurt him so much that he wanted to protect him from that pain even more. He didn't deserve that kind of ostracize from anyone. Especially his own parents and even his.

He could never hurt Ivan, no matter how much he might've hurt him. That didn't matter, his love for him surpassed everything.

"Can I take you downstairs and make you some dinner? Or are you still tired?" Jeremiah asks quietly as he began to walk them out.

Already knowing no matter how loudly he spoke...Ivan wasn't going to wake up. He just didn't want Luka to think he wasn't okay.

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♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚🍌:;

↳ ❝ [ i will be updating this once a week (all depends, but at least, every five days). i want to keep people wanting more- 🙇🏽‍♀️. did i succeed? ] ¡! ❞

so it's like that, huh?

there is a lesson to be learned-

every time he goes back.

the comatose is now bringing him back to before.

just when he thought he was getting things back to the way they were-

it was never going to last.

what'd you think?

vote, comment, follow~✨

- yolo🍖