seven

second chance...

day 06 + 08

***

"Are you and Tate...together?"

Jeremiah truly took himself here. Looking at Ivan who just asked him that question, his eyes lowering.

Ivan already knew they weren't...Tate said so; but he wanted to make sure if he could rely on that source. Everything about his motives felt fake and more motivated towards himself than anyone else.

Ivan would know...since he used to do the same thing.

"No," Jeremiah responds as he ignores Ivan's evident joy from that, "but he is my..."

Ivan waited for him to say, watching as he clearly hesitated on saying. He didn't push him to say it because he was trying to be kinder...but this would've been something he'd push out of him. Now he has to be patient.

"We're trying out him being my Omega of domination, that's all. I didn't propose it, he did. He picked up on the dynamic we had and I didn't disagree because I...I have become used to having someone dominate my actions and being. If he wants me somewhere or wants me to have sex with him, I'll do it. He's much kinder in his domination than you are, you were an absolute menace upon me. I actually prefer him over you. He's nicer and knows how to treat me like a person, not an object or a piece of scum below you." Jeremiah finally explains while looking right into Ivan's eyes.

Ivan didn't say anything, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't upset. It upset him that in this reality, Jeremiah had already been with someone else besides him.

"Well...if he's so much better, why haven't you two become official?"

Jeremiah sat back against the chair, looking at Ivan with annoyance. His eyes lowering off of him as he began to chuckle.

"Why do you think? It's not easy to just go into another relationship when I promised myself from when I was a child that you and I would be together, forever. I respect Tate enough to not do that to him, it all comes down to respect. Something you never had for me, but that I had for you."

Ivan contemplated on how he could make this work. Because he was able to get him alone without Tate around, but...it didn't seem like he'd do anything that would go against Tate either. They weren't in a relationship, but that didn't mean that he'd do anything that would jeopardize the respect he held for him.

"You care about Tate, don't you?"

"I do, very much. He was there for me when I felt like dying. I am alive...because of him. You really know how to make someone feel like they don't matter Ivan." Jeremiah chuckled, but Ivan could hear the pain in his voice.

He saw the way Jeremiah's eyes began to water, but he would force away those tears. Ivan felt his heart hurting in a way he never felt before.

Why didn't he feel this way before?

Jeremiah would tell him that he hurt him, but he didn't listen. He just continued to be a piece of shit to him.

And he hated himself for it.

"I know...I don't know what I was thinking. I'm not...really good at this. Good at...being honest and truly expressing how I feel at present. I was a piece of shit to you, I know. But I...I miss you." Ivan breathed, but Jeremiah couldn't allow himself to be swayed by that as he stood up now.

He looked down at Ivan painfully, shaking his head.

"Don't...please. You're only doing this because you see I'm trying to move on. Why...say something now? You miss tormenting me, nothing more." Jeremiah didn't understand the pain within Ivan's eyes, the desperation towards him.

He couldn't keep staring at him this way because he felt that part of him that wanted to do anything to make him better. To have him feel no sadness, even at the expense of himself.

"I'm leaving. I...I shouldn't have come. You are still as cruel as ever." Jeremiah began to go towards the door, but Ivan couldn't let him walk away.

He got up so fast, rushing to Jeremiah as he wrapped his arms around his waist. He held on to him tightly and inhaled his scent. His body leaning into his...touching him once again.

Ever since he's gotten his second chance, he hasn't been able to touch him. While in his own reality, he never realized how much he actually touched Jeremiah.

How much Jeremiah and him would be close...even if he went out of his way to ignore him and avoid him, they still always met in the middle. He never realized how much he loved holding onto him.

Jeremiah, however at present, felt his breathing become unsteady. His hands beginning to shake as his hand went over his mouth.

To feel Ivan against him and so soft...it threw him off.

"Why...?"

"I miss you...more than you think. I know you think. I'm lying, but I'm not. I don't want...to hurt you anymore. My own jealousy and anger with myself ended up being moved onto you." Ivan nodded, holding on even tighter. "I want you to see Luka...please."

Jeremiah turned around so fast, gripping Ivan's shoulders as he pulled him back some. He looked in his eyes with the utmost of seriousness.

"You...are letting me see him?"

"Yes...I want you to."

Jeremiah didn't say anything, his shaky grip loosening from Ivan. Ivan wondered how much he's said in this reality, because it was still unclear. Except he wanted to override all the stupid shit he's clearly done.

"You don't want to?"

"Of course I do." He responds back softly.

Ivan found himself grinning, grabbing Jeremiah's hand as he brought him up the stairs. He was nervous despite Tate's words and expression.

He even...was aware that with him seeing Luka, that would probably result in two things. Except even he wasn't too certain in those two results.

Because when he entered into Luka's room, he saw Jeremiah falter at the foot of the entrance. His eyes locked on the crib that held Luka within it. He kept glancing between Ivan and the crib as if he was nervous to enter.

Until Ivan grabbed his hand, smiling as he pulls him inside. All the way until he stood before the crib.

Jeremiah staring down at the most precious little baby, whose eyes resembled that of Ivan's. His heart began to swell with so much love that he was at a loss for words.

He reached for Luka, his hand slipping under the bottom of his head. As he began to pick him up he saw the look in his eyes. The look...that was full of love, like he knew he was his father.

His eyes began to become blind with tears, looking away quickly. Ivan watching how overwhelmed he became as he watched him bring Luka to his chest. Holding him so close, as his body trembled.

Luka was so small against him, and to watch Jeremiah cry in such...a miserable way hurt him more than he thought it would. He set his hand on his arm just for Jeremiah to yank away.

Jeremiah found himself even more hurt than he was before.

"You...could really keep such a precious thing away from me? My own son...you would really keep me from him?" Jeremiah whimpered, Ivan unable to say anything because he wasn't necessarily the one to do so. "You..."

The longer he looked at Ivan, the more he remembered when he was pregnant. When he hid himself away and didn't let him help.

He could only imagine...how much he would've helped him. To see him in good health and not struggling.

"You didn't have to handle that alone..." Jeremiah looked at Ivan for a moment, coming towards him.

Ivan let him do whatever, watching as he seemed to lean Luka in his direction. He took Luka in his arms now and Jeremiah got to see what he wanted. Or at least, what he wanted to see in the beginning.

To see him holding their child. To be before them and seeing such a sight. Now that he saw it...that remembrance of his joy and want for Ivan...

That was the last thing he wanted.

He couldn't let himself be swayed by such instincts. Except the longer he stared at such a sight, the more...he felt that part of him that longed for him. The part that called him 'his Omega'.

"No..." Jeremiah shook his head, turning around quickly as he rushed out.

Ivan was quick to lay Luka down, running after Jeremiah without hesitation. He didn't want to acknowledge the obvious, because Jeremiah's scent gave it away.

He also didn't want to admit that in him trying to chase after Jeremiah, he felt weaker than before. The type of weakness that threw him off and reminded him of what the Luna said.

As of now, with the way things were looking - he didn't see that happening at all. Despite the scent that told him what Jeremiah was possibly feeling.

"Jeremiah, wait-."

"One thing you have yet to say...what?" Jeremiah raised his voice, his breathing becoming heavy by how much Ivan frustrated him. But he also was mad at himself for missing Ivan.

He saw the way he was right now and he wanted to hold him. To hold him and make him feel better, to let him tell him what to do.

But he had yet to do that one thing.

"What...? Jeremiah I'm trying-."

"I'm sorry!"

Ivan flinched, seeing the tears that began to stream down his cheeks. Jeremiah shook his head in frustration as he couldn't stop the tears.

"You have yet to just fucking say...I am sorry Jeremiah. I am sorry for hurting you, for breaking you, tearing you apart, ruining you! I am sorry for keeping your child from you! I am sorry for wishing we never met and wishing I never saved you! I am sorry for lying to myself about how I feel truly about you! Apologize! You have yet to apologize, just running your fucking mouth and going in these loops with me!

"If you truly missed me and wanted to be with me again, you would've just...apologized. Except you don't know how to do that, do you?" Jeremiah tried not to cry any more than this.

Especially before Ivan who he still didn't trust. His intentions were unclear and the longer they went in these circles, the more he became more hurt.

"You know the shitty part about this Ivan? I would've easily...forgiven you. I know I would've. I would've accepted your apologies and I would've loved you all over again, like an idiot! But Tate told me you would never apologize, that you didn't know how. I didn't believe him, I still had faith in you and that is why I never made things official with him - because of my hopes! Except here I am...telling you what you could do, but that isn't for shit.

"Why...did it have to come to this Ivan? Why?!" Jeremiah cried out.

Ivan found himself crying, tears streaming down his own face. He reached for Jeremiah who just looked at him as they both cried.

"Stop!" Jeremiah tried to force Ivan's arms down and away from reaching from him, but Ivan didn't give up. He kept fighting with him as he tried to latch onto him.

"Jeremiah I'm-."

"Don't! You're only saying it now because I told you! It's not for shit now! I can't do this Ivan-!"

"Jeremiah please!" Ivan whimpered, his arms tightly going around his neck. "Please don't go. Don't leave me like this, I'm trying... I really am..."

Ivan felt Jeremiah stop pushing him away, and he made himself cling on even more. Their bodies pressed to one another's and without breaking loose.

He could feel Jeremiah collapse to his own legs, Ivan following him without letting go. Jeremiah's hands were loose by his sides despite Ivan holding onto him.

This was all he ever wanted...Ivan clinging to him, but he still didn't trust him.

"Hold me Jeremiah..." Ivan breathed, leaning into him further. "Please...hug me. I miss you as much as you miss me, I know it. I'm...I'm demanding you to hug me, please."

Jeremiah's lips tighten together as he remembered those words. Except in hearing him demand him now, it was with a kinder voice.

He let himself hug Ivan, hugging him closely to him. The both of them now pulling one another in.

Jeremiah's face leaning into the crook of Ivan's neck, inhaling his scent. His own mind feeling at ease to being able to hold him this closely again.

Ivan let himself go onto Jeremiah's lap, straddling him. His legs wrapping around his hips and hugging him with every part of him. Jeremiah at a loss for words to Ivan doing such a thing for him.

His own heart beginning to beat even more to him.

"Please...don't leave. Can you stay with me tonight?" Ivan begged, already feeling himself getting weaker.

Except he now wasn't asking Jeremiah for this for himself, he just wanted to be with him.

"I can't... I care about Tate-."

"What about me?"

"I..."

Ivan pulled back, looking at Jeremiah and within his eyes closely. His scent was stronger...smelling the care he had for him.

"I love you Ivan," Jeremiah whimpered, causing Ivan to feel his eyes water, "but I also resent you for what you've done to me."

"I hate myself for what I've done to you too, more than you know." Ivan cried softly as Jeremiah cradled his face.

Jeremiah wiped away his tears, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Just from his touch and lips, Ivan felt his body fill with some type of warmth.

It was a warmth he had never felt before.

"Don't hate yourself for my sake."

"I will. How can I not? Look where I've gotten? I was horrible even though I loved you. All because I wanted to be this Alpha, but you...gave yourself to me. I'm...I'm..." Ivan tried to apologize, but it wasn't leaving past his lips.

He almost felt shame for being unable to say it as he felt more frustration. Only for Jeremiah's eyes to soften upon him...because this was the first time he's ever seen him try.

Jeremiah leaned towards him, pressing his lips to Ivan's. Except in that kiss he yanked back fast, his eyes wide upon him.

"I'm...I'm sorry," Jeremiah got off the floor so fast, lifting Ivan onto his feet, "I shouldn't be doing this. I need to go to Tate, I need to tell him first, I'm sorry-."

"Jeremiah..." Ivan murmurs his name.

Jeremiah felt that same hold over himself as Ivan chewed his lip, reaching for his hand. Holding onto it, he pulled it towards him.

Letting his hand settle over his heart, Jeremiah could feel his heart racing. His eyes flickering back onto Ivan's...staring into his eyes.

"I want you to kiss me," Ivan begged, but slightly demanded, "please?"

From that alone, Jeremiah was quick to cradle his face. His lips centimeters from his as he really was going to kiss him

"Jeremiah!"

They both looked, seeing Jeremiah's mother look at him in absolute terror; yet she knew this would come eventually. She rushed over towards them and yanked Jeremiah away from the one person who made him this way.

Ivan's face flushed with a need for Jeremiah, while Jeremiah felt two different things.

He knew why his mother was pulling him away, it was because of Tate. The right thing to do...was to say something to him about this, because they both knew the truth.

Jeremiah and Ivan were so close to doing more than just kissing.

His mother listened from the top flight of stairs, even though Ivan thought they were alone in the house - they clearly weren't.

Having heard the commotion, she was hoping Jeremiah would push through and not let Ivan persuade him. Except she should've known, Ivan was a weakness to him. Especially with how different Ivan was being, it only had him wanting him more.

"You...you need to go to Tate-."

"Why?" Ivan exclaimed, trying to grab Jeremiah back from her. "H-He doesn't want to pursue him. Why are you trying to pull him away when I'm trying to fix things?"

"Tate is everything to him that you are not." Jeremiah's mother sneered right into Ivan's face.

He swallowed a lump in his throat, looking back at Jeremiah whose eyes were still hooded upon him. When he looked back at his mother, he stepped back respectfully.

"I get it. He's kinder, sweeter, more caring, loving, affectionate, and desirous of Jeremiah much more than I ever was in just the span of eight or so months. He...kept Jeremiah from doing something crazy to himself because of me, I know. But, I am trying to fix things. I realize how cruel I was to Jeremiah, and over something so ridiculous. I'm trying-."

"If you were truly trying then you'd let Jeremiah move on and be happy with Tate," His mother interrupts him, Ivan narrowing his eyes at her, "the most you can do is let him see Luka; but don't get in the way of something beautiful."

"I could say the same for you."

Jeremiah grabbed his mother gently before she lashed out at Ivan. His eyes still settled on Ivan who looked back at him.

"She's right," Jeremiah breathes, seeing how shocked Ivan was to him agreeing, "I need to go and speak to him, now."

Ivan couldn't tell in what way was he meaning, but he didn't interject as he swallowed the lump in his throat. He let his mother just continue to smirk mockingly at him despite not being aware of why he was leaving.

Jeremiah was leaving to be honest with Tate about everything.

To be honest about what happened today and what did almost happen. And what would happen...that he can't stay from Ivan any more than he has.

Unaware of Tate's intentions...the intentions that brought him to Ivan.

__________________🫠

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚🍌:;

↳ ❝ [ i will be updating this once a week (all depends, but at least, every five days). i want to keep people wanting more- 🙇🏽‍♀️. did i succeed? ] ¡! ❞

don't worry...

he'll be back.

Tate is trifling, yes.

yet, him being trifling...allowed for this.

a more...

"acceptable" mess.

...🤨

what'd you think?

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- yolo🍖