Chapter 23 - I See You (Both) - Part 1

Evan decided to take Angie up on the offer. He tried to do it quickly to be home as soon as possible, but he ended up chatting with his friend, and the hour passed before he realized it. And although he lived nearby, he knew that nothing could save him from the wrath of his parents.

Of course, the moment he got home from Angie's, his parents lost it. Evan reflected nostalgically on a time when everything was different. No shouting, no unnecessary complaints. The times when laughter was heard instead of screams.

His parents were actually pretty cool when he was a kid. His mother used to read him bedtime stories, which made him love books, and his father showed him sports, but little Evan didn't like it that much, so his dad started to take him to run with him, and he certainly loved that. They did everything to be sure he felt smart, powerful, and loved. In addition, he did until he reached a certain age and started to feel obligated to feel insufficient. Loved, but insufficient.

Evan had no idea who to blame. Himself, Riley, or their parents. He didn't know if he and Riley were too different to fit into their family or if he tried to be so much like him as a child that he drifted away from his parents' ideas. Evan didn't blame him. Despite everything, his favourite cousin still had a place in his heart, and somewhere in the back of his mind, Evan still thought that if the worst came to worst, he could still find him, and his life would be okay. It was stupid since he had no idea where to start looking for him, but Evan needed some lifeline.

Evan needed someone to understand him, and his parents definitely weren't that.

If he should make a list of things that his parents didn't understand it would definitely start with the fact that when he hung out with a girl, it didn't automatically mean that she was his girlfriend or that he liked her. The second thing he would add to the list would probably be that his friends were not a bad influence, closely followed by the fact that he was not doing anything stupid when he was out with them. The last thing he wanted them to know would probably be the most important one – he was trying to find himself, and he might have an attitude about it, but that's just because he was trying to find out what was best for him. And no, being a wolf wasn't enough for him.

He felt that when his parents looked at him, they saw a son, a wolf, a member of the pack, but never a teenager. Something that was currently the biggest part of his personality.

"Are you going to say something?" His mother started to look impatient, tapping her foot, her arms crossed. Evan had no idea what she had yelled at him earlier, too lost in his thoughts.

"Like what?" he asked stupidly. Even without hearing an explanation, he knew what the problem was probably. Not only that he was grounded, but also the fact that she didn't like anyone he knew.

"Like you forgot about rules?" she suggested as if he didn't know that. She tried to sound less angry, as if she was not mad, just strict, but the vein on her forehead was telling otherwise. Maybe Evan would blame himself for making his mom age faster because of him, but she didn't blame herself for making him live like a hermit, so they were even.

"Which one now?" he gave her another question. He couldn't help it. If she wanted to play this game of finding out things himself, two could play it.

"Evan! That's not how you speak with your mother." He had no idea how many times in his life he had heard this sentence. Maybe he should have learned a foreign language to annoy her in another language, and then at least it would have taken on a completely different meaning. At least some change.

Her tone was suspiciously calm, and Evan could tell she was trying to calm herself down so she wouldn't say something bad. Probably something with Riley. Fortunately, Evan also tamed himself. He was smart enough to not roll his eyes like he desperately wanted to. If she seemed mad now, she would be livid for sure if he did that.

"I'm using the same tone as you." He shrugged, trying to look unbothered. "Besides, I still don't understand what's this all about."

"You're grounded! Your bus arrived an hour ago, and you didn't go directly home! Does it ring a bell?" Her hands were everywhere, gesticulating so close to his face he was scared she would poke his eyes out.

"Oh yeah, I was at Angie's," he explained and took a step back.

"You were supposed to be at home," her voice got calmer again, and so did her hands. With her hands on her hips, she shook her head, and he know it meant she was done with this ridiculous fight. And that another senseless punishment was probably coming.

"I'm pretty sure you said I'm not supposed to hang out in Marwell. I was in North Hallson," he defended himself. His mom never specified the terms of his punishment, so he changed them to suit himself. And maybe she did specify them, he just didn't listen.

"You should still tell me you wanted to go out," she admonished him, and he nodded. His mom kept her eyes on him, waiting for verbal confirmation.

"I do it next time," he promised, hoping she would drop the subject already. However, he knew that there would be an argument next time as well. It was impossible to prevent an argument in their household.

"You better. And because you didn't even think about it today, you are also hanging out with me," she added, sounding proud of herself. He narrowed his eyes. Not that he never spent time with his parents, but the tone she said it sounded like he wasn't going to like the activity she chose.

"I'm what?" This time his tone got higher. Hanging out with his mother didn't sound that bad, but he was hundred percent sure there was a catch. And he was right.

"Tomorrow after school. It's a pack meeting. You missed too many already, so tomorrow you are going with your father and me, and I'm not taking no for an answer." He sighed, but of course, just in his mind. He didn't need another problem, so he decided to keep his reaction to himself.

The pack meeting was the last place Evan wanted to go, but for the peace of his soul and the household he had to do it. Moreover, no one said that he had to actually get involved.

---

Tuesday honestly sounded like shit. The first thing he heard in the morning was a reminder of the meeting, the second one was scolding about not being late, and the worst of them (which he didn't even hear from his parents, but from Angie) was the fact that he might see Ryan today. Evan didn't go to pack meetings often, so he had no idea if Ryan attended them when he was visiting North Hallson.

On the bright side, for every shitty day, there was light. And luckily for his sanity, his light felt good today, and was able to go to school.

His precious human's eyes shone in the distance and drew Evan to him like a beacon. Kieran was always there when he felt miserable, and with him, it was only a matter of seconds till Evan was feeling like he was floating. When he looked into his eyes, he could see how much Kieran cared about him. And that meant everything to him. With Kieran, he never had to worry that he wouldn't listen to him or that he would dismiss his arguments with one sentence.

"You're quiet today," he told him in a low voice. He didn't need to raise his voice since Evan's head was on his shoulder. They were currently sitting on the floor in an empty classroom, cuddling together. Kieran's hand was on his waist, and Evan's legs were placed over his lap.

"It wasn't a good day," he answered truthfully, keeping his voice on the same level as his. He was practically muttering into his chest, but Kieran had no problem hearing him.

"Is it better now?" Kieran asked, even when he could guess the answer himself. It was impossible for Evan to feel bad while being in his arms. Not when he gently caressed his side with one hand and stroked his face with the other.

"A little. You should probably kiss it better, though," Evan couldn't miss the chance to tease him. His lover immediately understood the assignment. He lifted his chin, so their eyes were on the same level, blue ones mixing with the brown. He was gently smiling at him, so naturally, Evan smiled too.

"Your wish is my command," he said in a husky tone and gently kissed him on the lips. It was short but sweet. Like a butterfly that just landed on a flower. That thought made Evan think back to the bouquet that was currently at Angie's house. He smiled to himself.

He reached to feel Kieran's cheek on the palm of his hand. He slightly lay his face on his hand and to Evan, it felt so right like they were two pieces of the puzzle that fit into each other perfectly. Kieran took his other hand and lifted it to his eye level.

"I can't stop staring at your nails," he suddenly said, still beaming but now fully interested in his lover's nails.

"Do you like it?" Evan questioned, somehow nervousness biting in the back of his head. He didn't care about other people's opinions, but Kieran wasn't just anyone.

"I love it." His answer made him genuinely happy. Evan didn't hold back anymore and properly kissed him to show him how much he appreciated him. This kiss was nothing but short, not only their lips but also their tongues dancing together. Kieran's hands held his waist, Evan's on his neck. He promptly shifted, so now he was sitting on his lap. The grip on his waist became stronger. Evan was so close now he could feel his pulse, his heart beating like crazy, and he was sure his sounded exactly the same.

He loved this. No, not this. He loved him.

It was scary but also exciting. Whoever said that love with a human couldn't be intense was dead wrong. Evan didn't need any magical connection, what he had with Kieran was enough.

After almost a year of kisses, hugs, and empathy, he couldn't help himself and fell so hard for him. He didn't tell him that, though. He couldn't. Not with Ryan in town, not when he couldn't come out, and not when he wasn't able to hold his hand in public.

Tears welled up in his eyes at the thought.

"Everything all right?" Kieran asked him, noticing the change in his mood.

"Perfect," he smiled at him despite the tears, still hugging his neck with both of his hands. It sounded ironic since his mind was seeing all black just a moment ago, but one sentence and one look into Kieran's eyes were able to bring him back to the present.

He couldn't understand how he got so lucky. They were practically fooling around for a year, but Kieran never complained. He never gave him an ultimatum, never questioned his decision. He was still officially just Evan's friend, even when they acted like so much more.

Maybe this was the next step of his freedom. Painted nails were one thing, but this love... This love could be so much more. So, he said the words he never thought he would say out loud.

"Be my boyfriend."