Chapter 49 - I Think He Knows

It was the quietest day he had ever experienced at school, and he couldn't have been happier when it was over. After the confrontation, Aiden never spoke to him again, and at the end of the day, he grabbed Lola's hand before she could even offer to walk him and Angie to the bus stop. Suddenly, he was back in middle school, where he had only one friend.

This feeling intensified in him even more when he got off back in North Hallson, and all he saw was an empty space. No one waved at him, no one tried to get his attention. That's right, he ended up hurting both of them.

Angie accompanied him all the way, just like in the morning, and stayed at his home. His parents were home and the moment they heard the front door, their caring eyes were immediately on him. Evan could clearly see how they relaxed when they spotted his best friend by his side.

"You're home early today," he commented. His parents exchanged a glance that was probably meant to be subtle, but Evan immediately understood what it meant. They left work early because of him. As if he didn't feel guilty enough already.

"We didn't have much to do today." His dad shrugged and turned in his chair back to the laptop on the table. Just the fact that he had his things laid out for work in the kitchen said it all.

"Right." Evan nodded and turned his gaze to his mother. She had a mug in her hand with something that smelled like coffee, and his mom barely drank the coffee. She liked to claim that as a she-wolf she didn't need caffeine, as she had enough energy without it. Again, something that wasn't suspicious at all.

"How was school?" she asked before Evan could address her. Her question surprised him, but unlike them, he decided not to reveal anything about his condition. Or at least he could try to.

"Fine." He shrugged like his father and went to the refrigerator. He knew that his mother had been troubled by his eating for the past few days, so he wanted not only to please her but also to assure her that he was better, even though he wasn't.

"Do you want anything?" He turned to Angie, who was still standing quietly in the middle of the kitchen.

"No, I'm fine, thanks." She shook her head, and Evan returned his gaze to the refrigerator. He didn't have a particular taste for anything, but to make his parents happy, he at least chose yogurt. His mom's eyes immediately pierced the cup in his hands, but she didn't comment.

"We'll be in my room just in case," he announced to his parents, motioning for Angie to follow him with a nod.

He was the first to leave the room, but before Angie could follow, his mother's voice stopped her.

"Angie," she addressed her. The brunette turned to her, waiting for her next words. "Take care of him."

"I will, don't worry," Angie assured her immediately. Evan, although he heard their conversation, decided not to join in on it. On the one hand, he was touched by his parents' interest, but on the other hand, he still remembered that he couldn't tell them about his problems or about his male mate.

They ran up the stairs together in silence, Angie's face betraying all her feelings, while Evan's remained silent. He expected that the moment they crossed the threshold of his room, he would be showered with questions. And so it happened.

"Who switched your parents?" she cried out in a whisper. Evan, despite still feeling miserable, chuckled. He had the same question in his mind.

"You know what they are like," he replied dully and automatically walked over to the bed where he lay down. He didn't even have a made bed, since the last few days lying in bed took up most of his day. And although he didn't like lying in the comforters in his normal day clothes, this time he didn't care.

"I do, but I haven't seen you like this in a long time. No arguments. No avoiding the other." Angie headed for the bed, and Evan moved to make room for her. She laid down beside him, facing him. It was slightly Deja vu. When they were children, they used to lie like this whenever they needed to feel the other's presence. When Angie's grandma died, when Riley left, when Angie's little brother got hit by a car, and they had no idea if he was going to be okay. They were always there for each other. In Evan's life, where he couldn't rely on anything as the future changed too fast, one thing was constant. His best friend.

"I love you, you know that, right?" he whispered. He had been saying those words a lot lately. Kieran wasn't the only person in his life he cared about, but just as he'd never told him, Evan realized he hadn't told anyone, even though he felt it. It was another thing in his life that he was going to fix.

"I love you, too, E." Despite her words, her tone was hesitant. Her eyes clearly showed concern and she bit her lip as if trying to stop herself from saying the wrong words. Evan didn't know whether to ask her about it or wait for her to tell him herself. Angie was rarely nervous, so it had to be something serious.

"E?" she addressed him hesitantly.

"Hmm?" He squirmed on the bed to get a better look at her. She looked seriously worried, while he didn't have the feeling that they were in any kind of disturbing situation to begin with.

"If even for a moment the worst occurred to you, you would tell me, wouldn't you?" Her tone was urgent, and at first Evan didn't understand what she meant, but then it dawned on him.

"I'm not suicidal, Ang," he assured her, frowning. Yes, he spent a lot of time in his bed. Yes, he had an eating problem at the moment. And yes, at times he felt that he was left alone for everything, but that was not a reason to stop wanting to live.

"I'm not saying you are. I'm just worried about you. A lot has suddenly changed now." He didn't like these conversations, but he knew what she was getting at. Wolves were social creatures. They lived in packs because they liked security and safety, and when they came to care about someone, they formed a bond with them like no other. That was one of the reasons why it was dangerous to form relationships with humans.

"I know, Angie. But I promise I'm fine," he said, but she still looked incredulous, so he corrected himself, "I'll be fine." His voice was quiet but sure. Evan believed it himself. He had to. What else was left for him.

"Maybe you should make up with Ryan now. Just because you lost your friends in Marwell for a while doesn't mean you have to lose those in North Hallson too," Angie suggested, and Evan gave her a surprised look. When he started thinking about the right decision, he never thought of Ryan as a friend. He was always his mate. Deciding between Kieran and Ryan meant choosing who he wanted to be with, not who he wanted to be friends with.

"I don't know if we can be just friends. I tried and you can see how it turned out," he countered.

"Because you weren't honest with him. He didn't know about Kieran, and you were... no, you two were giving each other mixed signals." Not that her words weren't true, but that wasn't why Evan said it.

"I think he knows, Ang," he sighed. Every time he woke up in the middle of the night and his thoughts began to haunt him, he always ended up with the only one that made more and more sense to him. Looking back on it all, he was sure Ryan had put two and two together. What held him back was Evan's confession. He knew Evan didn't want a mate, so he decided not to be one until Evan decided he was ready. At least that's what he thought.

"What now?" Angie didn't understand, and that made Evan sigh again.

"I think he knows we're mates," he said aloud for the first time. Angie was obviously shocked by his claim. She was the one who never missed anything, and this was clearly an exception. But she wasn't present too many times when the two of them interacted. She didn't see how Ryan treated him when it was just the two of them alone.

"Are you sure?" she asked him, and he just nodded silently. This caused her to bite her lip and this time she was the one lost in her own thoughts. Evan waited patiently for her next words.

"Are you going to talk to him about it?" fell out of her mouth eventually. The grimace on Evan's face indicated that this was not his preferred topic. Thinking about it was one thing, but doing it was another. He wasn't ready to have a mate. Not when his heart was still crying out for Kieran. His sweet, patient Kieran.

He didn't even realize a tear had rolled down his cheek until Angie gently wiped it away with her thumb.

"Don't listen to me, E. Listen to your heart." It sounded cheesy, but there was some truth to it. His heart was begging him to take it easy and he was ready to obey. It would take baby steps to get him back to being himself and okay, and he was ready to take his time.

"I'm gonna apologize to Ryan," he said eventually. Although he didn't want to give him hope that they could get together now, he still owed him an apology and an explanation as well. At least he could give him that for now.

Angie nodded silently, holding his hand for support, and before she could say anything, Evan did it first, "It doesn't mean I'm choosing him. You were right. It's time to be single." A small smile curled on his lips, an improvement on all the tears he'd shed this week.

Angie chuckled. "Welcome back to the club."

...

Later that night, when Evan couldn't sleep again, and his thoughts were waging a battle with him, he made a spontaneous decision. He took his phone from the bedside table, and the first thing he did was change his wallpaper. His hands were shaking over the delete button, but one deep breath and a bite to the inside of his mouth pushed him to do it. Kieran's photo was replaced by a photo from his childhood, which included not only him and Angie, but also Riley.

He knew that if it was possible, his cousin would be there for him. If Evan couldn't be strong for himself, he had to at least do it for him. His sacrifice was nothing compared to Riley's, but Riley was the strongest person he knew. And although Evan could only dream of being like him one day, he decided to make him at least a little proud. Even though he couldn't see it.

The second step of his spontaneous plan led him to social media and a friend request, which he kept there for the right moment. Leaving the rest of the decision up to Ryan, he pressed accept and put the phone back where he had taken it from earlier.

All he had to do now was wait.

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What do you think? Does Ryan know the truth?