Lies of My Monster: Chapter 15

Kirill and Damien are called in by the Pakhan to report back on what happened with the Albanians.

I follow them to the car, limping slightly and without much energy. My arm wound isn’t bleeding anymore, so that’s a good sign. Before I can open the door, Kirill whirls around and fixates me with his signature stare. People downright tremble when he looks at them in this cryptic manner that can only translate to possible trouble.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

His tone is so harsh that even the others, namely Yuri, Viktor, and Maksim, stop a safe distance away and stare at the scene.

I clear my throat despite the tinge of pain bursting through my chest. “With you. To the Pakhan’s house.”

“You’ll do no such thing.” He stares behind me. “Yuri, Maksim. Escort Lipovsky back to the house and make sure the doctor takes a look at him. If I find out my orders weren’t met, you’ll be the ones who face punishment.”

“Yes, sir,” both say at the same time.

I start to speak, but the words get stuck in my throat when he glares down at me. It’s not a good idea to provoke Kirill when he’s in this unpredictable state. It’s worse that I don’t know what made him this mad.

Is it because I got myself kidnapped? Or is it the fact that I couldn’t protect him?

His shoulders are tense, causing his jacket to strain against his strong muscles. His lips part as if he wants to say something, but they soon clamp shut again, and he slips into the car without a word.

Viktor moves to the front, and I intercept him. “Make sure he’s safe.”

The mountain of a man looks at me as if I were an alien. “I don’t need you to tell me the obvious.”

“If anything happens, call us.”

“I know that,” he says with a note of frustration.

“Make sure your phone is on you the whole time.”

“What the fuck, Lipovsky? Did you get your head hit in there?” He pauses as if he doesn’t want to say the next words, but then he speaks in a lower tone, “Worry about yourself first.”

And then he’s also gone. Soon after, the car that Damien, Kirill, Viktor, and Vladislav are in leaves the premises, followed by a few others.

I instinctively walk for a few paces as if I could run after them or something, which is entirely impossible, considering how weak I am. The fact that I’m standing upright is a feat in and of itself.

A familiar, safe arm holds my shoulders and pulls me into a headlock. Maksim ruffles my hair. “You scared us, you little shit.”

I tap his arm, wheezing. “I can’t breathe—”

Yuri pushes him with a surprisingly strong shove, and once Maksim releases me, he kicks him in the back of his knees. Then Yuri wraps his arm around my shoulder. “The fuck, Maks? Can’t you see he’s been drugged?”

“Oh, right.” Maksim scratches the back of his neck, looking apologetic. “My bad, Sash. Should’ve thought of that.”

“I’m completely fine. Look.” I duck from under Yuri’s arm, spin around, and punch the air. The moment I do, the whole world turns blurry.

I’m about to hit the ground when Yuri catches me, holds me upright, and says in a soft voice, “Don’t push it.”

“Yeah.” Maksim hugs my shoulder. “Take it easy. And I swear to fuck, if you scare us like that again, I’ll kill you.”

I can’t control the smile that lifts my lips. It’s hard to imagine that I only met these guys a year and a half ago. It feels like I’ve known them forever, but I guess that’s what true friendship should feel like.

“You did scare us,” Yuri offers.

“Even Boss lost his shit,” Maksim says.

I swear my heart is about to jump out of my chest and flounder on the ground. “He…what?”

“Fucking lost it, Sasha,” Maksim repeats slowly as if he thinks I didn’t hear him the first time.

“What did he do?” I really, really hope the heat rising to my cheeks isn’t externally visible.

“Let me see.” Maksim releases me, jumps in front of me, and starts to count on his hand. “He ran in your direction when you were knocked out and would have gotten himself killed if it weren’t for Viktor, who jumped on top of him and protected him with his body. Then Boss punched him for it. Can you believe that?”

“Kirill punched Viktor?” I ask, looking between my two friends.

Yuri nods. “I know. I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t seen it myself.”

“But why? He protected him, no?”

“Yes,” Yuri says. “But Boss said that if it weren’t for Viktor meddling in the situation, he could’ve gotten to you before they took you away. So in a way, he blamed Viktor for that.”

My lips part. “But…that’s not true. Viktor was only doing his job.”

“I agree.” Maksim nods. “I don’t like that dick most of the time, but Boss’s actions were uncalled for. But listen, listen! That’s not half of it. We managed to capture a few Albanians alive. We tortured them on the spot, but when they didn’t answer Boss about where they took you, he killed them. It was like a mass execution in some concentration camp. Of course, Damien was mad about not being allowed to participate in the action. We were close to losing our last chance at getting a lead, but thankfully, Kyle managed to use a different tactic and got the location from the last one alive. It didn’t end there, though. Oh, no, it didn’t. Did you notice that he brought almost all of our guards, even those who are supposed to remain in reserve? He only left a few behind to protect the house and Miss Karina.”

My jaw nearly hits the ground. Did Kirill really do all of that?

For me?

No, he must’ve been under some sort of order from the Pakhan to save Rai.

But there’s only one problem with that logic—the Kirill I know wouldn’t put all his resources into saving someone he dislikes, even if he were ordered by the leader himself.

It takes me a few moments to compose myself and be able to speak in a moderately normal tone. “Did he explain why he was doing that?”

“Seriously, Sasha? Do you know Boss to be the type who explains himself?”

“Oh, right.” He’s definitely not.

“It’s obvious why he did it,” Yuri tells me in a strangely agitated tone. “He was worried about you.”

“No…” I laugh it off, but neither of them is joining me. So I clear my throat. “I’m not important enough in the grand scheme of things for him to do all of that.”

“You didn’t see him lose it and threaten to rape the Albanian with all objects available, so shut it,” Maksim says.

“He…what?”

“His exact words were”—Maksim clears his throat and mimics Kirill’s apathetic tone—“listen to me, cockroach, if you don’t tell me where you took him, I’m going to have you raped. I’ll assault you with every object available until I fucking break you. Maybe then you’ll know how it feels, yeah?”

I can almost imagine the unhinged look on Kirill’s face when he said those words. A part of me wishes I had been there to witness that side of him.

I must be wrong in the head.

“Besides,” Maksim continues. “Boss is not the type who leaves a man behind. If getting you back had meant going through more trouble than this, I’m sure he still would’ve done it.”

That’s certainly true.

When I was shot during that special operations mission, we weren’t that close, but he still carried me to safety. It’s not Kirill’s modus operandi to leave a man behind.

“Don’t get into shit again.” Maksim slaps my cheek with the back of his hand, teasingly. Almost lovingly.

Yuri’s face hardens. In an instant, he grabs his wrist and twists his arm behind his back, looking at him with a weird type of tension. This is actually not the first time he’s done it. Whenever Maks starts acting too familiar with anyone in his immediate surroundings—as in being himself—Yuri would become surprisingly violent. I haven’t thought much of it before, but I think this isn’t just part of Yuri’s methods to keep Maksim under leash.

It feels like…more.

“The fuck?” Maksim struggles against Yuri. “Let me go.”

The latter releases him with a jerk as if just realizing that he might have done something he shouldn’t have.

Maksim rotates his wrist, frowning. “I didn’t know you could be this…strong.”

“You were being an idiot.” Yuri’s wise mask slips back in place and he pushes me in the direction of the car. “Let’s get you home, Sasha.”

Home.

I like the sound of that.

After all the hell I’ve been through today, it’s comforting to know that I have a home to go back to.

Now, if the reason I consider that place home—Kirill—would tell me why he’s so angry, it’d be great.

Thankfully, the drug doesn’t have a permanent effect, and it almost entirely wears off an hour after I get to the house.

I can move my limbs voluntarily, and my strength slowly returns to its usual level. My arm’s injury is shallow and doesn’t even need stitches. It’ll add another scar, though.

One more battle scar, Sasha.

I stopped counting all the scars I’ve gotten, especially in the army. That was when I officially stopped being a sheltered young lady.

After the doctor finishes bandaging my arm, Anna brings me a tray of food and stands there like a statue until I’m finished.

She doesn’t have to say a word. Her silent presence is enough to order me around. Sometimes, she feels like the female version of Viktor with her tunnel-like vision about protecting and ensuring Kirill’s well-being.

I guess, lately, I’m also turning into another version of them, because protecting Kirill has become my top priority since Russia.

After I finish, she fetches the tray. “Stop getting yourself in trouble, young man.”

And then she’s gone.

I’m ready for this day to finally end. Alas, both Karina and Konstantin barge inside next. Yuri and Maksim, who were playing the role of my caretakers, have to push to the side to make room for them.

“Oh my God, oh my God…” Karina grabs onto my good arm, her eyes filling with tears. “Are you okay? Look at all the blood!”

She motions at the red smearing my shirt, and her expression falls further. She’s in some of her fluffy sleeping pajamas that she doesn’t usually wear outside of her room.

“I’m fine. It’s just a little graze. Nothing to write home about.”

“But you were shot!”

“There’s no bullet. I didn’t even need stitches.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“I’m glad you’re all right.” Konstantin studies my surroundings. “Where’s my fucker of a brother? Shouldn’t he pay a visit?”

I suppress a smile. Konstantin wants to ask if Kirill is okay, but he vehemently refuses to say it out loud, so he chose this route as middle ground.

“He was called in by the Pakhan.”

“Is he okay?” Karina asks point-blank, definitely not as concerned about saving face as her brother.

“Yeah, don’t worry.”

She and Konstantin release a breath, and I exchange a look with both of them.

Karina clears her throat. “I don’t want anyone other than me to kill him, you understand, right?”

“I certainly do.”

“I’m just asking because if he died, you could easily become my guard,” Konstantin says.

“Dream on.”

The whole room grows silent at the newcomer’s voice.

Despite my best efforts, I can’t stop my heart from doing that slight jump or forbid my body temperature from rising.

Will there be a day when Kirill Morozov won’t flip my world upside down by merely existing?

He strolls inside, one finger hooked in his jacket that’s thrown over his broad shoulder while his other hand rests in his pocket.

It’s unfair that he’s effortlessly the most charismatic, beautiful man I’ve ever seen, and that includes actors and models.

The only difference is that they have nothing of his breathtaking intensity.

“Kirill!” Karina sprints in his direction, then stops short in front of him and hikes a hand up on her hip. “Since you’re obviously unable to protect Sasha, you should give him to me.”

“And you will protect him how, exactly?”

“I’ll hire other bodyguards!”

“That’s the most illogical thing I’ve heard today. Go back to the drawing board and let me know when you actually have an actionable, pragmatic plan.” He faces his brother. “And you. Stop asking Lipovsky to become your bodyguard.”

“He’s wasted on you.”

I wince and jump down from the bed. I’m not sure what to do or even if I could do anything to kill the tension between the two brothers, but I would rather act than watch it unfold and regret it later.

Maksim and Yuri silently slip out of the room to join Viktor outside. The traitors.

So it’s only me with siblings who have entirely different personalities, they might as well be considered polar opposites.

“The fuck did you just say?” Kirill glares at his brother, who glares back.

Now that they’re standing toe to toe, there are some similarities, but they’re not as blatant as, say, how much Karina looks like Kirill at first glance.

“You heard me.” Konstantin speaks in a calmer tone. “You’ll eventually drive him to the point of no return. It’s your modus operandi, to destroy everyone around you, no?”

“I swear to fuck, Konstantin, if you don’t stop talking, I’m going to make it my mission to actively destroy everything you and your dear mama have been building.”

Konstantin goes still, and a cruel smirk lifts Kirill’s mouth. “You think I don’t know what you two have been up to behind my back? If you think planning a coup to throw out Yulia’s family members who chose to help me will do me any damage, think again. Just because I’m letting you do your thing doesn’t mean I’m in the dark. I’m just waiting to see how far you go before I destroy you. After all, the higher the rank, the steeper the fall. If I choose to, I can end you both.” He snaps his fingers in front of Konstantin’s eyes. “Just like that.”

The younger brother’s face tightens and turns deep red. He lunges forward, but I step over to block his path and shake my head at him.

If he gets physical, he’ll give Kirill the incentive he’s been looking for.

It’s not that Konstantin is easily provoked, it’s that Kirill riles him up more than anyone else, and he finds it hard to control his emotions when it comes to him.

Kirill strides toward the door and orders without looking back, “We’re leaving, Lipovsky.”

I offer Konstantin a reassuring nod and a smile at Karina, who’s been fidgeting during the entire exchange. After she hesitantly smiles back, I limp to catch up with Kirill.

His long legs cut through the garden at supersonic speed, making it nearly impossible to reach him.

I release a breath when I finally fall in step beside him. “You didn’t have to say that just now.”

“The way I deal with my family is none of your fucking business.”

The weight of his harsh words hits me in the chest, and I have to swallow a few times to recover from the metaphorical punch.

“Well, I’m giving my opinion anyway, since everyone else is so scared to voice theirs out loud.”

He glances down at me. “And what opinion is that?”

“You were a jerk just then. Nothing Konstantin said warranted such treatment.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. Konstantin keeps wanting to add you to his fucking band of incompetent fools, and unless he stops, I’m going to keep crushing him until there’s nothing left of him to be recognized.”

“It’s not like it’s going to happen, so I don’t see the problem.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. There are multiple problems, not only one. Now, drop it.”

“But—”

“I said. Drop. It.”

I clamp my lips shut even as I fume from the inside out. Sometimes, I truly wonder why the hell I like this man so much, to the point where I’m ready to offer my life to save his.

He’s such an asshole, and they’re nowhere near my type.

Why did he have to be the exception?

It doesn’t help that he saved me. Again. At this point, he’s protected me more times than I’ve protected him, and that’s just so backward, considering I’m the bodyguard.

One more problem. If we keep going at this rate, I’ll probably never be able to pay him back, and I’ll be indebted to him for life.

We walk silently to his room. Once we’re inside, he motions to the bathroom. “Take a shower.”

“You go first.”

He subtly pushes me. “You need to seriously stop the martyr act before I find an unorthodox way to extract it out of you.”

“I was only being nice…” I trail off when he glares at me. “What?”

“You’re not moving.”

“Fine. I’m going, I’m going.” Jeez, could he bring down the intensity a notch or something? It’s not so good for my overworked heart.

I close the bathroom door and lean against it to catch my breath. Then I remove my jacket and shirt, wincing every time I cause discomfort to my injury.

My hands tremble when I lower my pants and boxers.

Images of those men stripping me assault me. I can almost feel the repulsive thickness of that cock at my mouth. The strong smell of alcohol, cigarettes, and disgusting male musk. My skin revolts and a sandpaper-like sensation explodes at the back of my mouth.

Nausea fills my throat, and I nearly retch. I have to grip the wall for balance, or else I’ll collapse on the floor.

I was sure I was strong-minded enough not to be affected by the incident, but I clearly overestimated myself.

The feelings of being powerless and unable to stop their advances beats beneath my flesh, making my skin crawl.

I slide to the floor, entirely naked, and pull my knees to my chest.

Breathe.

You need to breathe.

It’s all over, I know that, but my brain doesn’t seem to have caught up.

A part of me is trapped in that dirty basement, unable to defend myself as they overpowered me, stripped me down, and—

“Sasha?”

I startle at Kirill’s voice coming through the door, but I can’t seem to move. “Y-yes?”

“What’s going on?”

“N-nothing.”

“You stuttered twice. You don’t stutter.”

“I’m fine. I just…need a moment.”

“Fuck that.” The door opens with a bang.

Kirill stops short to view the scene of me naked on the floor and probably looking hideous.

His expression is neutral, though, as if it’s a normal occurrence. He’s always had a strong mentality that I’ve often been envious of. Nothing fazes him, not the loss of men who were with him his whole life, his father’s death, or even his mother’s irrational hatred toward him.

Sometimes, it feels as if I’m looking at a robot in the form of a man.

A few seconds tick by as he watches my chaotic state, and then he crouches in front me. “What’s the problem?”

I shake my head.

“I swear to fuck, if you don’t start talking—” He cuts himself off and softens his voice, or as much softening as Kirill can do. “You can tell me, Sasha.”

“I…” I choke on my own words, and I have to blurt them out. “The men earlier stripped me and found out I was a woman, so they held me down and tried to…to…rape me.”

His face tightens, but his expression remains the same. “Did they?”

“No. I thought…I was going to be assaulted for sure, but then Rai helped me, and you came and…this is stupid. I shouldn’t be affected this way.”

“It’s not stupid,” he says with deceptive calm. “What do you need me to do? How can I help?”

He’s asking.

Wow. Kirill is asking how he can help.

I suppress a smile. I know he’s not the type who comforts others and that the concept is alien to him.

So the fact that he’s doing this is a huge deal, and I certainly don’t take it for granted.

“Can you…stay here?”

He sits beside me on the tiles, his back against the wall, and stretches his long legs out in front of him. “That’s it?”

“Can I hug you?”

“Since when do you ask permission for that?”

I throw myself in his arms, and all the shivering and fear from earlier fade away by his embrace.

And just like that, I know everything is going to be okay.