Lies of My Monster: Chapter 27

By the time the week ends, I’m bored out of my mind.

During the first few days, I kept an open mind and explored the surrounding forest, hiked to the top of the mountain, and screamed from the bottom of my heart.

I was so happy to wear girl clothes and sports bras instead of chest bandages. Though I still wore my men’s sweatpants and hoodies. What? They’re comfier.

Then I did my daily workouts in the garden surrounding the small cottage.

Despite having wood stacked inside the house, I cut some more logs and threw them in the fireplace.

The cottage is located in the middle of nowhere, with only a mountain and a huge forest surrounding it.

On the inside, it looks like a fairy tale. The dark wood of the walls and the flooring gives the architecture an elegant feel.

There’s a cozy sofa opposite the fireplace, over which hangs a TV. There isn’t much service here, but there’s a flash drive that’s stacked with hundreds of movies and TV shows. I tried watching some, but I don’t have the patience to stay still for hours. I’d rather be moving around.

Which is why I’m getting positively bored out of my mind.

I need to stay calm, though, because I have another six months of this.

Jeez. How am I supposed to survive that?

But anyway, that’s for later. I stare at my phone for the hundredth time today, just to re-read the exchange I had with Kirill earlier.

Kirill: I’m coming tonight.

Sasha: Really? To the cottage?

Kirill: I meant in your cunt, but yeah, that, too.

Sasha: I can’t with you.

Kirill: That’s my charm. Do you need anything?

Sasha: Just you is fine.

Kirill: Fuck, Solnyshko. You need to stop saying shit that makes me hard while I’m surrounded by people.

Sasha: I’ll make it up to you tonight. Promise.

To say I’m starved would be an understatement. I miss him like crazy. It doesn’t help that he was busy with work these past few days, and we barely spoke over the phone or through texts. So I spent the whole week obsessing over our wedding pictures that he sent over.

I hate being away from him. Even during that period when he wasn’t talking to me, I was by his side every day, so this distance is making me anxious.

I keep wondering if he’ll be okay. What if someone attacks or attempts to assassinate him and the others don’t act fast enough?

It’s hard to chase away those thoughts despite knowing Viktor, Yuri, Maksim, and the others are there for him.

Guess that makes me a control freak, because sometimes I believe no one other than me will be able to keep him safe.

Which is both wrong and unfair to the others. Especially Viktor.

But anyway, Kirill is coming tonight, and I might have gone a bit overboard with the preparations.

There are still many containers of food, both the ones Anna gave me and what was in the fridge. However, I tried to cook a fancy dish I found on the internet.

Needless to say, I burned it.

So now, I’m moving to plan B, which is reheating my food. In hindsight, I should’ve just done that from the beginning.

I guess I wanted to cook for him—or try to. Obviously, I suck at this.

Planning missions and shooting targets? No problem at all. Everyday things such as cooking? Tragic failure.

I managed to at least set the table decently. I have his favorite drink—whiskey—on the table, and mine, too.

While I’m a stereotypical Russian who loves their vodka, Kirill is more sophisticated and only has Macallan. Neat.

He does drink vodka when it’s offered to him, especially by the elders in the brotherhood, but it’s not his drink of choice.

He’s flexible that way, which makes him charming from the outside looking in.

Kirill is the type who’s fine with bending his choices and preferences if it helps in getting close to the right people. That’s why the smartest ones in the organization, namely Rai, Vladimir, and Adrian, are the most wary of him.

Rai often calls him a cunning fox, and she’s not wrong. He’s not too hard to be snapped or too mellow to be pushed around. He’s just…an enigma.

And I love everything about him—including his manipulative side. I like to believe that he wouldn’t hurt the people he cares about the most, such as Karina and his men.

Konstantin, even.

Kirill acts like his brother is the most annoying existence on earth, but he refuses to take serious action against him. Yes, he sabotages him here and there, but it’s not permanent damage, and I think he only does it to spite Yulia instead of Konstantin.

I’m also a bit too smitten, so I could be biased.

My opinion still stands, though.

After I make sure the table is all set, I shower and slip on a pair of dark green lingerie I got on a small shopping trip I made the other day.

I was struggling with women’s underwear, but the lady in the store was super helpful without being judgmental about how a grown-ass woman didn’t know her exact sizes.

It was weird enough that I went out as a woman (still dressed in joggers and a hoodie, though), and I automatically found myself in the men’s section before I recalled that I’m not pretending anymore.

I thought about dying my hair back to blonde, but that’s too much of a change for now.

I put on the matching nightgown the girl suggested, then look in the mirror. Oh, wow. I actually look good in this. The transparent nightgown molds against my curves, and the color brings out the green in my eyes—and my ring.

Since I didn’t try them on in the store, I wasn’t expecting much. Needless to say, I was too embarrassed to be buying this stuff when I never have in my life.

Then I sit in front of the mirror and try to experiment with makeup by following YouTube tutorials.

I wish I’d brought the case Kirill got for me, but he said since I was going back anyway, I should leave the wedding dress behind.

Two hours later, I scrap everything and go with simple mascara and lip gloss.

Looks like it’s going to take me a long time to be a woman again, but hey, small steps. Right?

A knock sounds downstairs, and I flinch, but it’s entirely due to excitement. It’s still late afternoon, so I thought I had more time to tidy up the cottage, but maybe Kirill missed me so much that he came early.

At least, that’s what I choose to believe as I slip into a robe and wrap the belt around me. I practically fly down the stairs and throw the door open with a huge grin on my face.

I’m about to jump him in a hug, but I freeze.

It’s not Kirill who’s standing in front of the door.

Not even close.

Yuri looks at me without a change of expression, his hands balled into fists on either side of him and his face hard.

Oh, shit.

Shit.

“Uh, I…” I trail off, not knowing what to say.

Sorry, I’ve been lying to you all this time?

Hey, so here it is. I’m actually a woman?

“Surprise,” I say lamely.

“Far from it.” He pushes past me into the cottage and slams the door shut.

This is the first time I’ve seen this part of Yuri. He’s usually calm, collected, and the complete opposite of Maksim’s turbulent energy. He’s the anchor everyone turns to when they need reassurance. He’s definitely been mine, especially when I was having an identity crisis after Kirill was shot in Russia.

Now, however, he looks ready to destroy a mountain and all living beings on it. If I hadn’t known him for years, I’d be sure he’s an imposter.

“You…you’re not surprised I’m a woman.”

When he says nothing and continues fixating me with that hard edge, I shiver. “You…knew? Since when?”

“Since the day you walked into that special ops unit.”

“Wow, okay. Why…why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was supposed to keep a low profile, but that’s all in the past now.” He walks around the place, checking power sockets, beneath the sofa and chairs, in the lamps—everywhere.

He’s looking for cameras or listening devices, I presume.

“There aren’t any,” I say because I checked.

Yuri, however, doesn’t stop his thorough scouring. I tighten the belt around my waist as I watch him. It’s like I’m looking at an entirely different person. His movements are as sharp as his expression.

Once he’s satisfied there aren’t any, he comes down the stairs and glares at me.

“Why are you looking at me like that, Yuri? You’re giving me the creeps.”

“Good. You need more than that to come back to your fucking senses.” He tightens his fists. “Go get your things. We’re leaving.”

“Why would I go anywhere with you?” I pause. “Did Kirill send you?”

“Fuck that motherfucker.”

I flinch.

Okay. This is a lot more serious than I thought. Yuri has always respected Kirill. He doesn’t consider it his life’s mission to protect him like Viktor and me, but he’s one of Kirill’s most trusted men.

“What happened?”

“We need to go before he gets rid of you after you so stupidly told him everything.”

“What…what are you talking about?”

“He’s sending people over to get rid of you, idiot.”

I shake my head. “You must be joking.”

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

“That can’t be true because…because…Kirill and I are married!”

“You really believe that shit?” He hits me upside the head, and I freeze. Fuck.

This brings back old, rusty memories. “I thought you’d be better than this, or I wouldn’t have let you in.”

“What…” I look at him as if he’s an alien. “We really got married…” I lift my finger. “Look. I have a ring.”

“Oh yeah?” He taps a few things into his phone and then thrusts it in my face.

It’s a picture of the grand church where all the brotherhood weddings happen. There are familiar faces in the crowd—Damien, Adrian, Lia, the Pakhan, Igor, Mikhail, and a pissed-off Rai.

At the altar, Kirill stands with Kristina’s hands in his.

And Kristina is wearing a wedding dress.

“This was from earlier today,” Yuri comments. “He’s being named the Pakhan by Sergei as we speak because of this marriage. He made sure everyone but Rai and Vladimir would vote for him.”

“No…” I breathe out, my heart beating so loud, I can’t hear anything else. “He can’t marry her when he’s already married to me. It’s fake.”

“Your stupid marriage is what’s fucking fake, Sasha! Look at him! Do you see your ring on his finger? Did he give you that grand ceremony where the whole world knows you’re his wife?”

A sob catches in my throat, and tears splash on the phone’s screen. The more I look at them, the harder it is to breathe.

Oh, God.

I think I’m going to throw up.

Yuri snatches the phone from my hands and points upstairs. “At least change clothes. We need to get the fuck out of here before he eliminates the last person who knows about what he’s done.”

“That’s not true, right?” I take his hand in mine. “He…didn’t marry her, right?”

“Why do you think he sent you to the middle of nowhere? You obediently followed like a lovesick fool.” He sinks his fingers in my shoulders. “Snap the fuck out of it, Sasha. That man never loved you. He used you like you were supposed to use him for information, but you ended up telling him everything you weren’t supposed to.”

“No…”

“I started to believe he has nothing to do with this shit, too, but he’s Kirill Morozov. The motherfucker of all motherfuckers of manipulation. He almost got me, too. He surely got you.”

“What—” My mind is such a mess of emotions and thoughts that I don’t know what to think or say.

“He knows, Sasha. He knows everything about our fucking family. Uncle Albert was right. He plotted the whole thing for Roman, but unlike Uncle, I have hard evidence.”

My shoulders tense, but the tears won’t stop. “How do you know about Uncle Albert…who…who are you?”

He hits me upside the head again, and it’s like I’ve been struck by lightning. “Stop being a crybaby, Malyshka.”

Oh, no.

Oh, God.

“A-Anton…?” The word falls from my lips like a forbidden whisper.

Aside from Mama, he’s the only one who’s ever called me Malyshka, even after I grew up. And he’s definitely the only one who hits me upside the head whenever I’m being an idiot.

“Finally,” he whispers.

“But…but…you look and sound nothing like Anton…you…how?”

“Long story. Let’s get out of here first.”

“But—”

“We don’t have time. After you so stupidly told Kirill our last name, he and Viktor were able to link everything together. He already sent men to Babushka, Uncle Albert, and Mike.”

“No…”

He retrieves his phone and shows me a text exchange between him and Uncle Albert. There’s a surveillance video that shows men attacking one of the usual warehouses Uncle hides in.

Yuri…no, Anton pauses the video on one of the attackers and taps the familiar eyes visible through the balaclavas. “Who does that look like to you?”

“Maks.”

His lips lift in a snarl, anger and disappointment radiating from him in waves. “Fucking bingo.”

“Are…Uncle, Babushka, and Mike okay?”

“Babushka is injured.” He grabs me by the elbow. “We need to leave before he finishes the job with you.”

My steps are lethargic as everything starts to fall into place. Did…Kirill pretend to marry me only so he could get information from me?

I was supposed to be the one who used him, but did he use me?

My stomach churns, and I trip and then fall.

Yuri catches me—no, fucking Anton—my brother. He’s here. He’s been beside me for years, and I didn’t even recognize him.

“You need to keep it together,” he says in his hard voice. “This is not the Sasha our parents brought up. Get your shit together.”

“What if…what if he didn’t mean to and—”

My words are cut off when the sound of ticking reaches us.

The last thing I hear is “Lie down!” as my brother jumps on me.

And then…

Boom!

TO BE CONTINUED…

The story continues in the final book of the trilogy, Heart of My Monster.