~Chapter Ten~

May 27, 2016

"How is he?" Katie asked the hospice nurse Emma as she brought the basin filled with warm water into the room. Justin had been asleep almost all afternoon. He had spent an hour that morning with Colten then he insisted on playing with the boys. Around 2:30 he asked Katie for a kiss and said he needed a nap. It was almost eight at night and he was still sleeping.

"I think it's getting close, Katie," Emma replied adjusting Justin's oxygen mask. "He's not wanting to wake up as often. But, thats a good thing, it means he's at peace." She quickly assured Katie as she watched the young woman's face fall.

"Okay, can you give us a minute?" Katie asked as she moved over Justin and kissed his forehead. Emma nodded with a smile and silently left the room. Katie picked up the washcloth from the warm water and began to sponge Justin's face and neck.

"Mmmm," Justin mumbled as he felt the damp water cloth on his cool skin. His eyes began to flutter before he opened them and saw the face of his beautiful wife. "Hello gorgeous." He said quietly.

"Hi yourself," Katie responded her hands never stopping from their task of wiping her husband's body clean. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired but okay. I'm not hurting if that's what you're worried about."

Katie nodded. That was something she worried about.

"Okay," she whispered as she brushed his hair from his forehead. "You need to rest then.  Close your eyes, I'll be right here."

Justin smiled and let his eyes drift shut once more. Katie watched as his chest slowly rose and fell, each breathe seemingly shorter than the lady one. She sat next to him, running her fingers through his  hair. She knew how much Justin loved this and did it almost without thought anymore. A light knock at the door caused her head to turn.

"Hi Mrs. Katie," Sam greeted her with a slight smile. "I took care of Beau tonight, I just wanted you to know."

"Thanks Sam. I really appreciate it." Katie smiled slightly at the man that was a friend to her and Justin.

"How is he tonight?"

"He's been sleeping a lot. Emma thinks it'll be soon." Katie answered with a sad smile. Her hands stilled as she heard Justin's breathing become garbled for a minute and he began to cough. Emma walked briskly into the room and adjusted Justin's oxygen levels.

"Katie," Emma began seeing her fatigue. "I'm here all night. I know you haven't eaten yet. Why don't you eat and go rest. I'll call you if I need to."

"I know Emma, it's just," Katie paused and frowned. She didn't want to leave him.

"Katie," Sam called her from the doorway. "It's not selfish to need to rest. You've got six boys and a ranch to care for too. Come on, I know Penny left a plate for you in the kitchen."

Silently Katie nodded. She brushed the hair off Justin's forehead and kissed him gently. Squeezing his hand she bent low and whispered in his ear. Standing she went to pick up the basin of water, but in two short strides Sam was there grabbing it from her.

"I've got it ma'am." Was all he said as he nodded at Emma and turned to walk out the door.

Emma stood and hugged Katie. Emma dealt with a lot of families in her profession, but this family, this woman stood out to her. Katie was a strong woman. She had not once heard her cry, but she knew she did. Katie was doing everything she could to hold life together for Justin. Every morning she'd bring in the boys and they would talk and play around Justin, sleeping or not then she would read the Bible to him, particularly his favorite passage from Matthew. Then she'd sponge him off and head out to check on the boys. Yes, Katie was special and it hurt Emma for her knowing how quickly more pain would be coming into this beautiful young woman's life.

"Relax some tonight Katie, I promise I'll call you."

Katie met Sam in the kitchen as he was pulling her plate of chicken and rice out of the microwave. She smiled at him as he set it in front of her along with a mug of hot chocolate, something he had learned was her favorite drink.

"Eat," was all Sam said as he sat down at the kitchen table across from her.  Katie nodded and picked up her fork. The chicken flavor burst in her mouth.

"Wow! Penny outdid herself tonight," Katie said offering Sam a small smile.  Sam just nodded and watched her eat most of the food on her plate. He knew what she was going through. He had also noticed that she was loosing weight worrying about her husband.

"Emma said it won't be long now," Katie's voice broke the silence of the kitchen.

"I know, I could tell. It was the same thing with my princess," Sam offered with a slight sad looking smile.  Katie cocked her head and studied Sam for a moment.

"Is it hard on you, watching Justin I mean?"

"No," Sam answered honestly. "Because I know that at the end of this Justin won't be suffering anymore. He will be at peace with God and that's all any man can ask for."

Katie nodded and looked out the window at the starry night. Sighing she stood with her plate and walked it to the sink to clear and load in the dishwasher.

"I'm going to head to bed now, Sam. Thanks again for everything."

"My pleasure ma'am. Call if you need us," Sam smiled and went out the back door and headed to the bunkhouse. Katie watched him before turning off the kitchen light and heading upstairs. After a long shower in which she sobbed and begged God for strength to get through what she knew was coming, she fell into bed in pure exhaustion.

Emma sat quietly by Justin's side all night. Around 4:30 in the morning Justin's breathing became very labored.

"Katie," he mumbled, gasping and trying to sit up.

"Hold on Justin," Emma soothed. "She's upstairs, I'll go get her." And with that she ran up the stairs to get Katie.

"Katie," Emma called causing the woman to jolt from her sleep. "Justin needs you, it's time to say goodbye."

Katie nodded and ran down the stairs. She didn't bother to wake up the boys. This was her time to let Justin go, just as she promised. Running into the room she saw Justin struggling to breath and it broke her heart.

"I'm here, Justin, I'm here."

Justin's eyes opened and he stared into Katie's. He tried to say something but couldn't get his mouth to cooperate as he gasped for oxygen. Katie grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"Shhh," Katie soothed. "I know. I love you too my precious husband. It's okay, don't fight for me any more. Justin, if it's time to go, go. I love you."  Katie was surprised she was able to say the words without her voice giving out on her. She smoothed the hair off her husband's forehead and kissed it gently. Justin stared at Katie and offered her a slight smile. She felt his hand squeeze hers for the last time. Katie sat and listened to his breathing become more difficult.  After only a few seconds, Katie watched her husband draw his last breath.

Emma walked over and checked his pulse. She then quietly left the room and called the number to the bunkhouse. After hearing Sam answer she gently told them that Justin was gone. She hung up and then called Dr. Santori and the medical examiner so they could come and remove Justin's body from the home. She did this so quietly that it startled Katie when she saw Colten come in and grab Justin's other hand. Neither Katie nor Colten said anything as they said their goodbyes to the man that meant so much to both of them.

Sam watched Katie closely all day. She hadn't cried once. Not when the children cried saying goodbye to their father. Not when the medical examiner and funeral home director came and removed the body and made arrangements to meet with her in town later that week. Katie was a rock and was truly the strongest woman he'd ever seen.  However, movement at midnight in the barn caught his attention and what he saw broke his heart. Katie sat in Beau's stall, holding her trusted companion and sobbing.

Katie turned and looked at Sam as he walked in  the barn.

"I did it," she croaked out. "I told him to go. I told him that it was okay. But I lied!  It's not okay. I'm not okay.  I'm horrible, I want him back."

At her words, Sam grabbed her and rocked her back and forth uttering words of nonsense meant to soothe. He watched this beautiful woman's heart break and felt his heart break for her. He knew what was happening. With the passing of Justin, Katie has lost her heart.