~Chapter Five~

March 2016

The second week of March started off with an unexpected snow storm. Justin, Katie and their boys along with Colten were stuck on the ranch with no power for almost a week. The boys, being boys thought it was a great adventure. Thanks to the wood burning stove in the playroom and the fireplace in the living room, the family stayed warm and were able to enjoy some fun times with their family.   For Justin the timing of the storm was perfect, he was able to make some lasting memories with his boys.

After their Saturday afternoon date, Katie and Justin sat down and tried to explain to the boys what was happening with Justin. William and Michael understood more than the other boys and were understandably angry but mostly they were extremely sad. The couple spent that Saturday night holding and loving their six boys vowing to make as many memories as they could. Katie and Justin had decided to do as much as they could together as a family knowing that their time together was short. After a lot of discussion, they decided to hire a foreman to live on the ranch and take over most of the day to day chores so Justin could spend more time with his family. Colten decided to extend his stay until the end of March to see the changes that the ranch had undergone in his decade long absence before making his decision about the sale of the ranch.

The boys loved their snowed in camping adventure. They had fun watching Katie cook over the fireplace and roast marshmallows in the living room too. They loved having everyone piled together in sleeping bags on the living room floor. They loved only taking a bath once since they had to heat their water up on the wood stove or fireplace. Most of all they enjoyed learning about their long lost uncle.

Justin and Colten along with the new foreman, Sam Tindle a friend of Justin's from his rodeo days, took turns feeding the animals and regaling the boys with their own antics growing up. The family spent their days checking on the animals, playing board games, laughing, and talking about anything and everything. Oftentimes the boys would look over to see Justin or Katie stepping back from the fun, watching everyone intently. It was as if they were trying to freeze time and savor the moment.

For the first time in ten years, Colten felt like he was where he should be. He was thoroughly enjoying his time with Justin, Katie, and the boys. There were no demanding management teams. There were no Hollywood divas. There was just him and his family. The only major downfall was the impending sense of doom that seemed to hang over the house like a dark cloud and his heightened awareness of Katie.

She had changed in the past ten years. Katie had grown from a beautiful young girl to a gorgeous woman. Gone was the figure of a young girl, replaced with the lush curves of a woman. Her eyes had small laugh lines starting around the corners reflecting the joy that she had found marrying and caring for Justin and their boys.  Colten was feeling envious  of his brother and Katie's seemingly perfect relationship, especially after Justin referred to her his home. He thought he'd loved Katie when they were younger but watching her interact with Justin now showed him how selfish his love had been. Not once had he tried to put Katie ahead of his own desires or dreams. That selfishness cost him Katie and their son. His pride cost him ten years of life with his family.  Most of all, he now wondered if he had lost the only woman that was supposed to be his home.

While Colten was bonding with his brother and the boys, Katie was feeling out of sorts. It wasn't anything she could put her finger on, just a nagging feeling of dread, like time was passing too quickly and her life would be over before she was ready.   She was quick to laugh and enjoy the antics of Justin, Colten, the boys, and Sam when he joined them but for the most part she was quiet and slightly withdrawn.

Justin noticing the change in his wife's demeanor began to wonder if she was beginning to feel things for Colten again. While Katie had never given him any reason to be suspicious and was determined to never be alone with his younger brother. In spite of that, Justin couldn't help but feel jealous. After all, the younger Haynes was rich, healthy, and most of all her first love.  He decided to question Katie one evening as she helped him and William and Michael in the barn while all the little boys were in the house with Colten.

"Katie-Did," Justin called walking towards his office. "Can you come with me for a minute?"

Katie was throwing some bedding into one of the horses stalls. She turned and smiled a sweet smile at her husband and put her shovel down walking with him into his office and shutting the door. She stood in front of Justin, watching him intently, waiting.

"Katie," Justin finally began, "Are you okay with Colten being here?"  Justin watched his wife closely and noticed the surprise register in her eyes at the question. He had obviously caught her off guard.

"Honestly," Katie responded, "No. I know it's selfish of me. I know he's William's father. I know he's your brother. But."  She paused and looked intently at Justin, taking his black Stetson off his head to run her fingers through his hair.

"But?" Justin asked, grabbing her hand and squeezing it.

"No, I don't want him here. I know it's selfish. I know it's wrong. He's your brother and I won't deny you that relationship. It's just, errr."

"Just what Katie?  What has you so upset Honey?" Justin questioned wiping a stray tear from her cheek.

"It's just that I feel like life is happening too fast and I want it to be just us. I want to spend these last few months just our family. I don't want to have to compete with him for time with you or your attention. Gosh," Katie said mumbling into her hands. "That sounds so selfish. Sorry"

Katie looked up at her husband and Justin felt his throat constrict at the love and heartache he saw in her pale blue eyes.  He pulled her into his arms, holding her as close as he could, gently kissing her on the top of the head.

"It's not selfish baby, it's actually really sweet. And, well a lot better than what I was thinking," Justin mumbled into the top of her head.   Katie pulled back and looked at her husband intently.

"And what were you thinking?" She questioned with one eyebrow raised. Justin knew that look immediately. It was the look she gave him or the boys when they did something wrong. It was her don't BS me look. He smiled at her and hugged her to him again.

"That you were regretting marrying me and not chasing after him," Justin admitted sheepishly.

"What?" Katie jerked back looking at Justin with fire in her eyes. "How can you even think that?  Do you hear yourself?"

"It's just, well.  What I mean is."

"What you mean is what?" Katie asked her eyebrow arching again watching Justin as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"It's just that Colten's a healthy good looking man. He's not dying Katie. Not to mention he's a Hollywood movie star for heavens sake. And don't forget that he was your first love. He can do so many things that I can't. He will still be here in ten years. I won't be. I just wouldn't blame you for falling for him again." Justin registered the shock on her face as he explained his worries to her. He expected Katie to get mad, instead she grabbed him and brought her lips to his in a soul searing kiss.

"That was so sweet, ridiculous but sweet," Katie said when she pulled away letting Justin catch his breath. Then she gently slapped him on the backside of his head causing him to jump in surprise.

"But do you even hear yourself? You're right, he was my first love but he isn't my last. You are my last. You and our family are my future. I don't want Colten. I don't love Colten. To be honest sometimes I wonder if I ever really did. With him life was always new and exciting but it wasn't real. With you, but with you it's different our love is different. It's a mature love. It's not the fun and shiny experiences.  Its not unicorns and rainbows. It's the messy stuff that makes me love you.

You stood by me in everything. You were there as I threw up with morning sickness with six pregnancies, normally holding my hair. You were there when my water broke with all six of the boys, letting me crush your hand and curse you out telling me how beautiful I was when I had our boys. You've held my hand, dried my tears, suffered through my horrible cooking at the start of our marriage, and you stayed. You've always been here. You've always stayed with me. I never had to worry about you leaving me.

I don't need Colten to live, I managed just fine without him all these years, but by God, Justin," Katie shuddered as tears started falling from her eyes. "I need you to live. I need you to hold my hand. I need you to tease me. I need you to sleep next to me. I'm scared to fall asleep at night thinking I won't wake up to you. I'm scared of you dying Justin because I don't want to be without you. But I know that's what's coming for us. I know I'm going to have to be without you and it's killing me because I love you. So no, I don't want Colten here. I don't love Colten.  I want you here. I love you."

"Oh Katie," Justin whispered kissing her gently. "I didn't know, Baby. I honestly didn't know. Katherine, my Katie, I knew you loved me, but I'd didn't know. God woman, I love you too."

"Good," she responded with a small grin sniffling and wiping her nose. "I've been thinking. I think it's time we take that honeymoon we never got around to taking. What do you think?"

Justin blinked at his wife. She amazed him daily.

"What about the boys?" He finally asked. "Who will watch them?"

"Ted and Mary Beth. It was actually her idea. She mentioned it to me at Cindy's birthday party. Plus with Sam here now, I don't feel guilty about leaving the animals.  The boys can stay in town with Ted and Mary Beth, Gus is now on formula, and Sam can tend our animals. I think it's time."

Justin grinned at his wife. "Sounds good to me. Actually, that sound perfect. Where should we go?"

Katie shuddered as a blast of wind rattled the only window of the barn in the wall behind him. Looking outside she watched the snow dancing in the air and saw the thermometer read -19 degrees.

"Somewhere warm," Katie responded with a grin glancing back at Justin . "And sometime soon."

Justin threw his head back and laughed. He didn't respond there was nothing he could say so he gathered Katie in his arms and held her close. He shut his eyes, willing to freeze time and let this moment last forever. Katie clung to him not wanting to let him go.

"Sounds perfect to me." He mumbled into her hair. Once again his wife had surprised him.  Justin was humbled and moved by Katie's strong declaration of love. Kissing her gently he couldn't help but pray that God would somehow take this cancer away from him and give him a lifetime more of love and adventure with Katie and his boys, not knowing just how little time he would have left with his family.